15. I Feel Seen
SOUNDTRACK: Running Up that Hill by Placebo
~ brIDGET ~
Come get me. Come get me. Come get me.
My heart was thumping so hard I felt it against my ribs.
If he was close enough to see where I was in the store, then he must be hunting?
There was only one way to find out. I sent that text telling him where I was going, then hurried to the checkout and paid for my groceries, throwing them in the back of the car and peeling out of the parking lot. My heart hadn’t slowed, and my breathing was quick and shallow. My body hummed.
The hair on the back of my neck kept standing up as I drove. Because I could feel him watching? Or just anticipation of what was to come?
When I reached the river park, I grabbed the bag of food, then practically ran from the car, across the parking lot, to the trail that went into the woods.
My phone pinged and I almost dropped it because I was so frantic to get it out of my pocket.
CAIN: I thought running wasn’t good for your heart?
ME: Being alive isn’t good for my heart. But I’ve calculated the cost/benefit risks and decided running from you is worth it.
He didn’t answer immediately, so I kept moving.
There weren’t many places near the city that were truly private in daylight, but this little section of greenbelt had been protected by the town planners. It butted up against the river and in the spring it was the mating ground for a protected breed of water-bird that I couldn’t remember. But this time of year it was little more than a path for joggers and dog walkers.
I’d explored this park countless times, and a couple years earlier, discovered a hidden little clearing deep in the woods. I’d only been able to find it by GPS and had never seen anyone else there. I’d never told anyone about it either.
Cain was either going to follow me and discover it, or lose me.
I smiled.
Come find me. Come find me. Come find me.
Once I was in the trees, I couldn’t see anyone. I knew there’d be people at the park itself, and probably along this path, but I couldn’t see any of them.
Then my phone pinged again.
CAIN: How many men have you lured out here?
ME: You’re the first.
CAIN: I don’t believe you.
ME: I’m not a liar either, Cain.
The little voice in the back of my head nagged that the statement wasn’t entirely true. But I didn’t correct myself.
I left information out sometimes, but only when it was important. Not about little things.
When he didn’t answer right away, I reluctantly put my phone back in my pocket and kept jogging, darting between the trees. I’d been out here enough now that I could find it without the map. Which was good. Because Cain’s handiwork on the phone meant it got all my emails, texts, and calls. But I was missing a lot of other stuff.
Which made me pull the phone out and send him another text.
ME: You better have brought my phone. I’m missing my games. And some other stuff.
CAIN: Your collection of ab shots? What’s with that? Not a single dick pic in there. So vanilla. I was disappointed.
ME: You like dick pics? Is there something you want to tell me?
ME: Sneaky bastard. How did you figure out the password for that?
CAIN: Disappointed in *you*
ME: Some things can only be appreciated in the flesh.
ME: I mean that in every way you heard it.
ME: For the record, the hottest part of the male anatomy is actually shoulders and arms, but very few men refine their forearm porn. So chests and abs it is.
I had slowed in my running because I was so busy texting. I heard a crack in the bushes nearby and squeaked, shoving my phone into my pocket and sprinting forward, laughing.
Come find me. Come find me. Come find me.
My phone buzzed in my pocket again, but I made myself wait until I’d found the big, felled tree that was a landmark on my route before I turned to follow it and slipped the phone out again.
Then I stopped dead, panting and gaping at the phone.
Cain had sent me a picture.
Holy shit.
He’d stopped in the shade of one of the big pines that had a bare trunk for the bottom twenty feet, and taken off his shirt.
He’d lifted the phone high to take a shot of his back and shoulders, one arm bent up, shoulder muscles rigid and tendons proud on the back of his hand that he’d clamped on the back of his own neck. Sadly, his forearm bent out of frame, and I couldn’t see his face at all, only the nape of his neck—his hair was dark and needed a cut—but his hand was thick and strong, and his shoulders…
Desire hummed between my legs because he had the kind of muscles that didn’t come in a gym, or from a needle. The kind of muscles that were useful and raunchy, because they were carved by hard labor.
The kind that didn’t disappear in the off-season, because there was no off-season.
There were scars here and there all over him, including an ugly pucker of skin right below his ribs.
My mouth watered as I imagined licking that scar. And the ridges of muscle down his side.
When I found the presence of mind to text back, it was only one word.
ME: More.
Then I remembered where I was, and I started running again, slinging the bag of food over one shoulder and sprinting because the clearing wasn’t far from here and I really hoped I’d make it before he found me.
When I broke through the trees into that little light-bathed oasis of pretty, I was ecstatic.
I dropped the bag of food and darted into the center where the sun was high enough to bathe the thin grass in a warm glow. There was another couple fallen trees here, not as big as the one I used to point me, but big enough to sit on.
I couldn’t sit down, though. I was panting, my heart thumping, my senses shrieking.
He’s here. I know he’s here.
But where?
I stopped, held my breath, tried to hear the sounds over my pulse pounding in my ears, but there was nothing. No crack of a foot on a twig. No rustle of a very muscular body pushing through the leaves.
I turned a slow circle, trying to breathe deeply, but quietly, trying to catch any sound or flicker at the corner of my eye.
Where was he?
I wanted to pull the phone out again, but all the hair on the back of my neck was standing up.
He was here. I was certain of it.
“Feeling shy, Cain?” I said to the trees, smiling.
Nothing.
Humph.
“I know you’re here. I saw the forest in your picture. Thank you for that, by the way. I’ll cherish it. I hope it’ll show up on my phone. You’ve got my phone, right?”
The phone in my pocket buzzed again and my adrenaline shot up a notch.
Still keeping my eyes on the forest around me, still turning slowly, scanning for any sound or sight of him, I pulled the phone out of my pocket and tapped the screen.
One glance, and my smile got broader.
CAIN: Look on the stump.
I whirled to face the stump of one of those fallen trees. It wasn’t very big, maybe a foot in diameter. But the tree had clearly snapped because there were jagged teeth of wood standing up from it.
Still watching and listening, I approached the stump slowly and peered behind those spikes of wood to find the light reflecting on a black screen.
My phone.
I kept my eyes on the trees behind it as I reached over to pick it up. “Thank you,” I said in a normal voice. “Now… don’t be scared. I brought enough food that you can have s—”
A weight slammed into me from behind, knocking the wind out of me so a strange, strangled choke erupted in my throat.
Then we were tumbling to the sodden earth, big hands, thick arms curling around me and turning me as we fell so I went down to the left of the trunk, not on those wicked spikes sticking out of it.
We hit the ground and it thumped like a drum, the carpet of pine needles and leaves almost cushioning the fall. But there was a thick, steel arm under my ribs, and a heavy weight bearing me to the ground. So even though we bounced a little, the last squeak of air my lungs had retained was gone on impact.
I lay on the forest floor, my arms pinned to my chest by his, his breathing in my ear. And mine… non-existent.
I couldn’t breathe. At all.
I couldn’t breathe.
And my heart was vibrating, it pumped so fast.
Cain was here. He was finally here—grasping at my body, growling in my ear. And we were alone. It was everything I’d been hoping for. I just prayed I wouldn’t have a heart attack and die before I could enjoy it.
Because I couldn’t… fucking… breathe.