Chapter 15 Kai
Ithought the mortal was infuriating before, but now she’s almost impossible to even be around. She constantly asks about Rome, grating on all of our nerves, but even worse is our inability to make her stop because he still controls her mind.
If only we could break his hold on her, she would no longer feel bound to him and look to him for comfort. She would once again remember the monster he truly is and remember that we’re trying to help her.
There are moments, fleeting, gone in the blink of an eye, but in those moments, she’s herself.
We just don't know how to make them stay.
Worse still, I’m pretty sure Rome is responsible for the pain she’s been feeling.
I haven’t told the others. The last thing we need is another reason for them to lose it, especially when I’m unsure, but it seems like something he would do.
Using her pain to draw her back to him.
It’s disgusting behavior for someone who is meant to protect mortals, someone who claims to love her, but then again, everything about Rome is disgusting if you ask me.
He’s always been selfish and thought himself superior.
The others have been doing all they can to try to think of ways to break his control, but I’m not sure it’s possible. Before Rome went around rearranging her mind, I hadn’t been able to access her thoughts while she was awake, only getting snippets when she was asleep.
So how had he?
“I’m not sure I’ve ever seen you sit in one place for so long.”
I don’t even attempt to swallow my groan of annoyance at the sound of his voice. Lucifer might be the ruler of this domain and the first demon, but he’s been my friend long enough that I know nothing good will come of talking to him right now.
He’s been lonely for far too long at this point. I’m pretty sure we’re the most entertainment he’s gotten in centuries.
“I’m thinking, concentrating, which means I need quiet.”
He clearly doesn’t take the hint as he moves deeper into the library to sit in the armchair to the right of mine in front of the fire.
I’d come here specifically because nobody else does. Despite how big the castle is and how many bedrooms it has, Lucifer thought it was a good idea to put us all in the same wing.
It’s like we never left the penthouse.
Aeri is everywhere at all times, and everyone's thoughts revolve around her. At least with Lucifer, he has the decency to hide behind a shield, so I don’t have to hear them, though that doesn’t do much when I have to hear him speak aloud.
“What is it you're trying to do, and how does it relate to the mortal?”
I crack an eye open to glare at him, but his gaze is fixed on the fire. The smirk on his face lets me know he knows exactly what he’s doing, and I refuse to play this game with him.
“So it doesn’t have to do with her?” he asks when I remain silent, and I can’t bite back the low growl despite my best efforts.
The downside of years of friendship with the ruler of Hell is that you can’t kill him, or at least I can’t.
I’m unsure if there is a way for him to die, and if he did, what would happen to the realm, but regardless, it’s sadly not an option the way it is with the rest of them.
Not that my power level is anything compared to his.
None of us are even close to him now. Once upon a time, Asta and Lucifer had been close, but with our fall and his promotion, his power level hit a new high.
He’s the one who will keep Rome out should he come knocking, and he’ll do it with ease.
“Why can’t you rid her of him?” I ask, unable to stop myself. If he wants to talk about her, so be it.
“The contract that ties her to him is binding both in Heaven and Hell, unfortunately.” He doesn’t sound like he thinks it’s unfortunate; in fact, he doesn’t sound like he cares much at all.
“So we’ll be stuck here forever?”
“You're a demon, Kai. This is your domain. With or without the girl, you will always return here.”
With a huff, I turn away from him, sinking back into my chair and letting my eyes fall closed once again.
He’s right, but this isn’t the same, and he knows it.
“I can feel the way you search her out in the night. Is she different when she sleeps?”
My eyes fly open at his question, but I don’t respond.
What the fuck am I supposed to say to that?
“There isn’t much that happens here that I don’t know about or can’t sense, my friend,” he says, raising a brow at me as if daring me to deny what he said.
I don’t, but damn it if I don't want to.
Instead, I ignore the feelings bubbling up in my chest like a hot tar pit and focus on his question.
“His hold on her isn’t as strong when she’s asleep.
I can feel him, as if he’s there. I’d hoped to be able to force him out, but every time I get close, she wakes up,” I admit, telling him something I have yet to even tell the guys.
As of now, it’s not helpful, only something I hope to be able to use against him, eventually.
There’s no point in telling them now, not when all it will do is get their hopes up and make them bug me more.
“There’s no such thing as owning one’s subconscious.
Not even we are in charge of that, as it bends and changes, as it wishes on a whim, so it would make sense that she’d be less easy for him to control and therefore more herself.
Not many things can break a contract, but at the end of the day, contracts are written between two parties.
Whether they be mortal, demons, or divine, they all answer to a higher power. ”
“What?” He had me for a moment there, but then he lost me. What’s higher than the divine?
“That’s the question you all need to be asking. What is more powerful than God, more powerful than me? That’s the only way to break the contract without us having it in our possession to find a loophole, and somehow I highly doubt Rome will let any of us get our hands on it.”
He stands, running a hand down his chest as someone might a shirt to rid it of wrinkles, before he looks my way with a smile that seems so out of place for the man who rules Hell. Mortal stories tell of horrors and terrors, and while he can be that person when needed, he often isn’t.
“Enjoy, I have souls to punish.” With a nod, he’s gone, and I’m left alone, just the way I’d wanted, though now I have about a hundred more questions.
Damn it.
Her screams ring in my mind as her subconscious reaches out for me. She’s been doing that ever since we brought her here, though I doubt she even realizes it, considering most days she has no idea who I even am.
I’d wanted her gone, knew she would ruin us, but now…
Fuck, now all I want to do is rip Rome limb from limb.
If only it were that easy.
Even on the other side of the castle, I feel her pain and fear as Rome tries and fails to bring her back to him. She can’t go no matter what he does; she doesn’t know the way out and couldn’t survive the journey out on her own.
“Fucking hell.”
Unable to think past her subconscious, I move through the shadows to her room.
Teleporting and shadow walking are two different things.
Every demon can shadow walk, but teleporting requires more power, something most don’t have.
Divinity allows teleportation, though, the bastards.
It doesn’t matter how powerful angels are; they can all appear at the snap of their fingers.
Her room is empty for the first time since we brought her here almost a week ago. She’d spent the first few days unconscious and the next few fighting us, but every day she seems to give in a little more. It’s impossible to explain to her that Rome is the real villain in her story.
How can we fight every memory he’s planted in her mind? To her, we sound crazy, but the longer she’s away from him, the more strained their relationship becomes.
All the good memories don’t mean shit if he leaves her here, defenseless and alone.
I know we can’t break their deal yet, but I’d love if she stopped calling out for Rome, crying for him, and demanding we let her go. If I have to hear about her husband much more, I might just lose my mind, too.
She lies in the center of the bed, looking far too small, the blankets tangled around her body as she thrashes against some invisible force.
I shouldn’t care. I don’t want to yet; the longer I stand here, the more upset I become until I’m unable to stop myself.
I move around the bed, gripping her shoulders and shaking her hard.
“Aeri, wake up!” I demand as my frustration gets the better of me.
Her panic grips me from her dream, and I know without looking into her mind what she’s seeing. It’s the same thing she always sees when her nightmares are this bad.
The night Rome chased her from Purgatory.
He’d been there at her job, at our club, and we hadn’t even known, didn’t care to.
Rome was always annoying, even before we fell.
He wanted to shine and be God's favorite and couldn’t stand that Lucifer was, despite him doing nothing spectacular to earn that title.
I never got the chance to ask him, but I’d bet that was what led to the fall. Rome was no doubt somehow tied into it.
I wonder how much it must have hurt him to realize that even with Lucifer gone, he still would never be enough. I wish I could see the look on his face. Although I can’t help but wonder, if he had become his favorite, would he have let Aeri go?
Would she be safe from him instead of on the brink of insanity?
And if she wasn’t, would she have ever even crossed our path to begin with? I want to assume she wouldn’t and think it would be for the best. The girl drives me crazy, but if she really is Bast’s mate, I would never steal that away from him.
I just wish I didn’t have to deal with her being in her presence constantly; her scent gives me a damn headache.
“Aerilyn!” I shout, smacking her cheek a few times before her eyes snap open wide and full of panic as they dart around the room before they settle on me.
Tears well in her eyes, spilling over and down her cheeks before she has a chance to fight them off. A sob rips itself from her throat, and it sounds raw and painful.
I feel her, and I know for the moment she’s free. She needs comfort, probably craves it at this point, in the pockets of sanity, times where Rome isn’t trying to push her over the maybe not so metaphorical edge.
But I’m not the person to give it.
It would be so easy to fall prey to her; everyone else already has, but I can’t.
I told myself just that once, one night, to get her out of my system, and while I never expected to end up here, I know that I stand upon a very slippery slope, and one wrong move will have me submitting to her.
I release her, taking a step back away from the bed. It takes a moment for her to register what’s going on through her panic and blinding tears, but the second she does, she releases me, and that almost makes this worse.
“Please, don’t leave me alone…” she manages to croak out.
Aeri is good.
So good that, despite her discomfort and her need to be comforted, she would never force herself on someone. Without a word, she was able to understand that I can’t be that person for her and respected it.
The least I can do is respect what she asked of me.
I poof away, letting myself into Bast’s room, where he sits hunched at his desk, poring over a book. Or I’d thought he was. Instead, as I walk up, I find his face pressed to the pages, passed out.
I don’t bother waking him up; it doesn’t take a genius to know how deeply Bast cares for the mortal woman.
I close the small distance between us and let my hand fall to his shoulder, gripping it tight so as not to lose it on the journey over.
It wouldn’t be too terribly bad if I did.
He is a demon after all, but it could take days to find him, and as it seems to be a common theme lately, time is what we have the least of.
I drop us back into her room, releasing Bast as he falls to the ground, only to spring back up and look around. I watch his brows pull in confusion before his eyes find her, and they instantly soften.
She sits in the middle of her bed, her knees bent up, arms folded on her knees, and her head buried in them. It’s obvious she’s trying to remain quiet, but with our hearing, I can still make out the soft sniffles, not to mention I can see the way her body shakes as she tries to pull in oxygen.
Bast is moving without a word, quickly crawling up the bed and scooping her up into his arms without a second's hesitation. For a moment, she appears as if she’s going to put up a fight, but enough of her mind is still present that she starts crying again in earnest when she sees his face, throwing her arms around his neck and snuggling into his chest.
“Thank you,” Bast says as he pulls her close, pressing his lips to the top of her head, whispering sweet nothings in an attempt to calm her down.
I don’t answer; I have no idea what to say, but I need to leave.
The quick jump from one emotion to the next is giving me whiplash because I should be happy he’s there for her now, but all I can think about is how easily I could have done that myself.
Would it have had the same result?