Chapter 17 Bast
The room is quiet for a moment before I hear the unmistakable sound of her sniffling.
She’s crying, again.
I hate it when she cries.
But even if I couldn’t hear her sniffles, her sadness fills the air. Her pain is like a physical thing I can taste as her emotions tug me toward her, the need to fix everything for her so strong it’s like it’s trying to pull me apart from the inside.
Just a moment ago, I’d been about to chew Kai out for teleporting me without waking me. My anger fades away as I crawl across the bed, desperate to hold her in my arms, to try and fight the demon that has bright white wings and should fight to keep her safe.
“Aeri, hey, it’s okay, I’m here,” I tell her as I squeeze her tight, as if I’m trying to piece her back together. If only it were that easy, I’d never let her go.
This might do more harm than good, seeing as she has no idea who I am or what she is to me, but I can’t stop myself. The need to hold her and comfort her is so strong, I feel as though I’m missing a part of myself until she’s once again resting in my arms.
She doesn’t move away as I pull her close to my chest, tucking her under my chin as I wrap my arms around her. I’m not huge; Asta, Talian, and Kai tower over me in comparison, yet she still feels so small as she curls into me.
Neither of us says a word, but I feel some of her sadness bleed away. I’m not sure how long we sit alone in the middle of her bed as the fire dies and the room grows darker, but it doesn’t matter. It could be minutes, hours, or days, whatever she needs. I'm here.
If this is all I can offer her for now, I’ll take it. It’s so much better than sitting, afraid to touch her, watching her battle herself and Rome, alone.
Fuck, I hate this so much.
“Bast?”
Everything stops, and I suck in a sharp breath, unable to release it for a moment as I sit in shocked disbelief.
“Aeri?”
I’m unsure what else to say. Pulling back, I glance down at her, where she still remains in my arms, only to find her eyes already assessing me.
“I can feel him in my head. I know it’s wrong deep down, but it’s like I can’t stop.
” Her voice is quiet but hoarse from crying, with a slight tremble that makes me hold her even closer.
I’m stronger than she is, built differently.
I know it would be all too easy to crush her, but I make sure to be careful.
The urge to hold her close is so intense it almost feels like a physical ache in my chest. “I’m not in control, and I might never be again. ”
My arms shake as I try to control myself. I want to rip him apart, killing him nice and slowly, only for him to come to Hell so we can torture him for the rest of eternity.
It’s the least I can do for her, this beautiful soul who did nothing wrong but be born to the wrong family.
“You will. We’ll make sure of it. Just trust us…trust me.” I’m begging her to give me a chance. Pleading for her to keep being strong, even though I wish she didn’t have to be.
Demons are proud creatures; begging is beneath us, because what's the worst you’ll do, send me back to Hell?
Oh no, my worst nightmare…
But I’ll beg if that’s what she needs. I’d get down on my knees and worship her, kissing the floor she walks on because she is mine. Aeri is what I’ve been looking for since the dawn of time, and after eons alone, I won’t be able to face another moment without her.
She might not feel it yet, but I do. Even unmated, I know what this is. I can’t imagine what it will feel like once we are mated.
“I do trust you, Bast,” she says, pulling me from my musing and shocking me.
Did I hear her right?
“It’s me I don’t trust.”
“I know, but I’ve got you, Aeri. We’re going to figure this out, and then you won’t ever have to deal with him again.”
She nuzzles into my chest again, her breathing still stuttering from crying, but I feel the tension slowly drain from her as she drifts back to sleep. I hope it’s dreamless.
I sit with her in my arms all night, letting her sleep, watching for some sign of a nightmare. Her face remains relaxed; the only sound is her deep breathing, but her hands remain tangled in my shirt. I can’t help but love the way it feels to have her cling to me.
I sense her waking even before she blinks open those beautiful blue eyes. I feel her emotions, and while she’s a bit confused, she isn’t panicking, which I hope means she’s still herself.
“You stayed.” She sounds surprised, and it’s adorable that she doesn’t know how gone I am for her. As if holding her in my arms all night was some kind of struggle.
She finally releases her hold on my shirt to rub at her eyes with a yawn. She’s so damn perfect, and she's mine. A strand of her white hair falls forward on her face, and I reach out to brush it back behind her ear before I can stop myself.
Not that I want to.
Her mouth falls open, and her cheeks heat, turning a beautiful pink that makes her pale skin look even more radiant.
“Of course I did. I wasn’t going to let you wake up alone and afraid again if I could help it.
” Her lips pull up in a smile, and it’s the first real smile I’ve seen on her face since before she disappeared.
My black heart beats more in these five seconds than it probably has in a hundred years, but, fuck me… I don’t hate it.
“Thank you,” she mumbles, dropping her eyes back down to the bed as embarrassment gets the best of her. It only lasts a moment, though, as the same strand of hair once again falls forward. She attempts to blow it away, but it only flops back down again, making her purse her lips in annoyance.
It takes everything in me not to laugh, but somehow I manage it, even if only just barely.
“Turn around,” I tell her with a chuckle.
She doesn’t so much as ask why before she’s moving, and I feel every bit of her pressed against me as she goes. Between her submissiveness and quiet strength, I’m transfixed.
I need to see her come, to watch her fall apart in pleasure, pleasure caused by me.
That can wait until later, though, when she is of sound mind and able to enjoy it, able to let go.
I snap my fingers, summoning a brush from my room to my hand, and run it gently through her beautiful, silver-gray strands.
Making something from nothing is harder as a demon, but not impossible, though with the amount of power it takes, I usually just opt for stealing things when I can.
This particular item I made just for her, though not just now.
I’d made it months ago, even before Rome stole her away.
I’d made it with the hopes of one day being able to do just this—pamper my mate.
She goes stiff for a moment, and I worry I’ve crossed a line, but after a moment she relaxes a little, and I let out a sigh of relief.
“Bast, you don’t have to do this.” She attempts to wave me away, but all I can do is chuckle.
“I want to, Aeri.” So damn much that something primal, more beast than man, settles in my chest, but I don’t tell her that. I don’t want to scare her with how much I crave her, and it very well could, especially with the life she’s lived with Rome.
We have to be different, better, and show her that she doesn’t need to fear us. That nice things can be done and should be done for those you care about, without strings, even more so for our mates.
But then again, I’m not sure she even knows about mates.
How would she? Up until a few months ago, she didn’t even know there were things out there beyond mortals.
We sit for a while in comfortable silence, and my mouth is moving before I can stop it.
“The first time I saw you, I was in awe of you. When you came into the apartment with Asta to look around, I wasn’t aware you were a woman.
Asta had told us that someone was coming to look at the room, but he conveniently failed to mention that you were a female.
” She stays quiet, but I can feel that I’ve piqued her interest, and that gives me the push to keep going.
“I don’t have a lot of history with women in the last few hundred years.
Once upon a time, I filled all my time with all means of men, women, lust, torture, fear, and excitement.
I craved the feel of their emotions since mine had dulled so much in the fall.
Lust was the strongest, like a drug, but it was lonely; nobody actually cared about me.
At first, I told myself I didn’t care, but I could only believe my own lies for so long.
With our positions here in Hell, it’s even worse. ”
Aeri slowly pulls away, and I let her, setting the brush aside as she turns to look at me. There’s no judgment in her gaze, only curiosity and something else I can’t put my finger on.
“Sounds a lot like Talian,” she says as she cocks her head to the side as if trying to see this version of me. I snort a laugh, caught off guard by her assessment, but she’s not wrong.
“Yes, back then I was a lot like he is now, and he was a lot like I am now. Maybe we wore off on one another or simply got bored with our old selves after so many long, miserable years that way.” If I thought she was shocked by hearing of my past, she’s even more so hearing about Dantalian’s.
Her brows shoot up before her face pinches, as if deep in thought.
By all the rings of Hell, she is adorable.
“Hard to imagine, I know.” Her face relaxes, and she gives a nod, smiling up at me, and it’s as if I’m lost in her.
When was the last time I sat down and had a real conversation with someone, and someone who wasn’t my brothers… I don’t even know.
I hesitate for a moment, unsure if I should continue, when her stomach rumbles and her cheeks heat, clearly embarrassed.
“I’ll go grab something and be back in a second.” I’m moving off the bed, my back to her, when I feel her hand tentatively press to the top of mine, and I freeze.
“Thank you,” she says, her voice so low I wouldn’t have heard it if not for my heightened sense.
I turn to look at her over my shoulder, and the sight of her makes my chest constrict as if I’m being squeezed by a basilisk. Tears well in her eyes, but she doesn’t let them fall. She looks up at me, her bottom lip caught between her teeth, before she sucks in a deep breath and releases it.
“Thank you for not giving up on me,” she sobs, squeezing her eyes closed as a single tear runs down her cheek.
I move back to her, unable to leave now. I reach out and brush the tear away, cupping her face and turning her head back up to look at me.
It takes a moment, but I don’t rush her. I have all the time in the world. I’ve waited for her for so long; what’s a little longer when it’s her comfort on the line?
When she finally blinks her eyes open, I smile down at her, and she gives me a watery smile in return.
“I’ll never give up on you.”
I’m not sure whether she believes it or not, but I mean it. I’ve never meant anything more than those six words.
She holds my gaze for a moment as if looking for something, but whatever it is, she must find it.
I watch her throat work as she swallows hard before pushing up on her knees until we're only a breath away. She pauses, looking up at me through her lashes. I don’t even dare breathe, unwilling to ruin this.
Fuck, I feel like my heart is going to beat out of my chest as I wait for her to move. It’s only been a moment, but it feels like it’s been multiple lifetimes.
Finally, she does.
Her eyes fall closed as she moves forward, her hand pressing to my chest to steady herself. I feel like I’m on fire everywhere she touches me.
I soak her in, committing this moment to the deepest recesses of my mind so that I never forget it. Even if I live for eternity, I want this moment, always.
Her lips are plush, if not a bit chapped, and I make a mental note to grab her some Chapstick.
Hell isn’t the best place for moisture, so maybe some lotion, too.
She tastes like candy, and I find myself wanting more as I wrap her in my arms, tangling one of my hands in her hair to get a better taste.
Talian had me try some recently. He knows my fascination with the mortals, but also knows I don’t go out much, so he often brought me random things, from candy to books or random trinkets.
I don’t remember what it was called, but it was like a cloud that melted in my mouth.
It was delicious, but Aeri put its flavor to shame.
We kiss, and I smell her arousal as it begins to fill the room. If I thought she smelled good before, I was mistaken. Even back in the apartment, it was never like this, and I get the feeling it’s because I know I’m the reason for her arousal.
I feel how eager she is, how easily she would let me push her for more, but I can’t. Not when she could slip back under his control at any moment.
With control I wasn’t aware I possessed, I run my tongue over her bottom lip before pulling away.
Slowly, as if in a daze, she blinks her eyes open, and I find her pupils blown wide with lust. Her chest heaves as she attempts to get control of herself, only to realize she’s pretty much in my lap.
Her cheeks turn the prettiest shade of pink, and I’m weak because I can’t resist leaning in to run my tongue up the beautiful color.
Aeri’s eyes go comically wide, like in the cartoons mortals love, and I chuckle.
I don’t know what made me do it, but I’m not surprised that every bit of her seems to be delicious.
“I’ll be right back.” I move off the bed, and this time she doesn’t stop me. She remains where she is, watching me as I go, her hand pressed to her cheek, a small smile pulling at the corner of her mouth.
I can’t stop the pride that fills me knowing I did that.