Chapter 27 Aeri
Fuck.
I knew it was bad, but that…
Fuck.
There’s no other word that will do to explain how I feel about that shitshow.
I'd missed so much.
Months, not just the days he’s been stealing away, but entire months that I have absolutely no recollection of.
Well, I had no recollection of.
Hearing Bast tell Ruin was like a train wreck. I didn’t want to know, but I needed to. I need to know what Rome has done to me, more than just simply knowing he’s fucking with my head.
And that’s the only real way to describe what he’s doing because I could never love him; just the thought makes my skin crawl and my stomach roll. But despite that, I know it’s true.
I saw the anger in Bast’s eyes when he spoke of Rome and the sadness when he looked at me.
I’m pitiful.
I toss and turn in bed, knowing I should get up but unable to make myself do so. I don’t want to be seen, to continue being a burden on them.
I don’t even realize I’m crying until I hiccup on a breath and my eyes blur.
Damn it, I’ve cried so much lately it’s a wonder I have any tears left.
Eventually, after what feels like far too long, I feel sleep pull at me, and I happily embrace it.
I stand in front of one of those fancy mirrors that allow you to see yourself from just about every angle, in the most beautiful white dress I’ve ever seen. It hugs every curve and makes the girls look great.
My mom and dad stand just a few feet behind me, both in tears, and I choke back my own sobs in hopes of not ruining my makeup.
“You look beautiful, my dear, like an angel,” my father says, and yup, there goes my makeup.
“You can say that again.” I whip around to find my soon-to-be husband peeking in through the door, a shit-eating grin on his face as his eyes roam over me.
“Rome!” I scold him, looking down at my dress, trying to think of a way to hide it from him, but it’s impossible. He’s already seen it now.
I can’t see all of him, but from what I can…damn, he cleans up nice too.
“It’s bad luck for you to see me in my dress before,” I hiss, but that only makes his smile grow.
“Babe, I’m ‘bout to marry all that.” His eyes roam over me again, but this time I see the heat as he bites his lip. “I’ve already got everything I ever wanted.”
His words are cheesy, but they make my heart go crazy and my cheeks feel like they're on fire as I shoo him out.
He’s not wrong, though; this is everything I ever wanted, too.
I blink and everything changes. Gone is the dress and the little room with the mirrors. Instead, Rome and I stand in front of a house with a man in a suit. A sign in the front yard tells me it’s for sale.
There’s literally a little white picket fence with a cobblestone walkway that leads right to the arched wooden door.
The whole thing feels like it's from a fairy tale, from the pathway to the steeply pitched roofs and vines that grow up the side to the roof.
The walls are white, of some kind of stone maybe, with a large bay window and a chimney.
Excitement pumps through my veins like a drug as I bounce in place, my arm tucked around Rome’s. He smiles at me, and though he shakes his head, I can see the affection that shines in his eyes.
“You like this one, huh?” Rome asks as he moves to follow our agent inside, but I don’t need to see inside.
Something in my bones screams that this is the one.
“This is the one!” I try to keep my voice down, but I know I fail when I hear the chuckle from the kitchen.
“You heard the woman, Roger, this is it.”
“I’ll get the paperwork sent over. Give me just a second.” Rome moves to the counter to join Roger as they set up their laptops. Roger is Rome’s friend from high school and did us a favor by showing us this house early, before it goes on the market tomorrow morning.
They talk numbers and renovations and everything else, but I’m no longer paying attention as I move into what will be the living room, looking up at the second-level banister.
I spin in a circle, taking it all in. My eyes fall closed, and I imagine a home full of laughter and love, with the sounds of little feet and giggles.
I feel so happy my heart might just burst out of my chest.
When I open my eyes again, we’re in yet another new place. Again, Roger and Rome are here. It takes me a second to put my finger on it, but this is the Cozy Cup before, more specifically, the day we signed on it.
“Are you sure we can afford this?” I ask Rome as I nibble on my thumbnail, feeling anxious.
Rome isn’t bothered at all, though, just like always.
He reaches out, gently tugging my thumb from my mouth and holding my hands in his to ensure I don’t go right back to my little nervous habit.
“I promise it’s in the budget. I’m getting a bonus for this upcoming trip, and then after that, it’s all remote, meaning we can work the shop together while I do that. And eventually our little shop will be so big I’ll quit that job and spend all day with you and…” he trails off, and what is this?
Is he blushing?
Rome hardly ever blushes; he’s crazy and loud and fun and owns it. It’s one of my favorite things about him.
“What?” I ask, unable to keep the giddiness from my tone. Which makes him purse his lips.
“And maybe someday with more than just you,” he says in a rush, looking down at our hands as if unable to meet my gaze.
What?
I don’t get it at first, but after a second, it clicks, and suddenly his pink cheeks make a lot more sense.
The vision I had at the house a few months ago comes back, and suddenly, my cheeks are hot as well.
“You guys are grossly cute, like give me a cavity or something.” Roger’s laugh cuts through our little moment, and it’s silly and adorable and totally fucking perfect.
It’s not real!
I know it’s all a lie, but it feels real.
How?
“Because you belong with me.” He speaks directly into my mind, making me jump even though his voice is soft, nothing like what I’m used to. And for once, he didn’t say I belong to him but, with him…
This is the Rome from this fake world he built, but despite how nice he might seem now, I know the real him. I’d been on the receiving end of his possessiveness for years.
“I was wrong. I didn’t know how to love you, but I’ll learn. You’ll see, we’ll be happy together, little butterfly.”
His words wrap around me like a physical caress, and I can’t fight the shiver that works its way down my spine, though I’m unsure if it's from fear or something much worse.
“No!” I scream, digging my hands in my hair and squeezing my eyes closed against the lie he wants me to believe as I fall to my knees.
It’s not real. It’s not real.
I repeat it over and over to myself like a mantra, but I can still feel him here in my mind, wading through thoughts and memories as if he belongs here.
“Aerilyn.”
He’s here; I can feel him, but I refuse to open my eyes and see him. I don’t trust myself not to fall back into his arms. I never want to see him again, but I also yearn for him.
“I’ve never loved anything, didn’t know there was a difference between loving and owning someone.” He moves forward, and I know he’s not done speaking, but I don’t want to listen. I cover my ears, curling in on myself in an attempt to make myself smaller.
It doesn’t matter because he’s speaking into my mind, but it’s all I can think to do.
“I can change. Let me be what you need. We were great together before they ruined it; you were happy.” His voice is pleading, something I didn’t even know Rome was capable of. Despite my better judgment, I peek up at him through my lashes, needing to see the regret in his voice on his face.
He deserves every ounce of regret and guilt.
My heart aches at the sight, but it also fills me with a sense of gratification.
Rome takes another step toward me, bending to be level with me, and I shrink away as he reaches out as if to touch me, but he never does.
His hand hangs in the air a few inches from my face, his brows drawn in confusion as he looks at me and then the space around me.
“What is this?” he hisses aloud for the first time since he entered my mind, and I hear the bite of anger I’m used to. “Aerilyn!” he demands, looking at me as if I have the answers.
I don’t.
I don’t even know what he’s talking about; I don’t see anything.
“Who did this?” he growls, pulling his hand back before it shoots forward again, only to stop in the same spot.
He yells, and everything blurs as pain radiates through my head as if I’d been physically hurt, though he can’t seem to touch me.
“Is he hurting you?” Rome’s question catches me off guard as I look up at him, where he once again stands over me, seething mad.
He can’t mean the guys; they’ve been doing nothing but trying to protect me.
“The only one who hurts me is y–you.” My voice quivers, but at least it comes out.
He rears back as if I smacked him, his eyes wide as they search mine. I’m not sure what he’s looking for, but his face falls, and he staggers back a step.
“That was never what I wanted. I only want you, Aerilyn. Forever. I love you.”
The image blurs, but this time it isn’t from my tears. I get the feeling I’m waking up.
“You don’t love me, Rome. You love the idea of me, what you believe I would be, owning me.”
“No!” he yells, but unlike last time, he doesn’t sound angry.
Pain splits my head, and a scream is ripped from my throat, jerking me from sleep before I ever get to see what it is.