Chapter 34 Aeri
The castle is beautiful, and having Ruin here is nice. Between him and Bast, I’m never alone, but I don’t see much of the others.
It’s been three days since Rome has visited me in my dreams, and by some fucking miracle I’ve been myself for every one of them.
Bast said he thinks it’s from the mating bond. He believes that’s what stopped Rome from touching me in my dream, but there’s no real way to know.
I hope that’s true. I hope that I never have to fall prey to him again, but deep down I know that’s not how life works.
All I can do is enjoy the moment and hope that Lucifer is able to help me through my next ‘episode.’
Which is why I’ve decided to explore. I’m not allowed outside of the castle walls, but that’s fine; there’s more than enough to keep me busy here. Not to mention, sometimes when it’s quiet, I can hear things outside, like Lucifer’s hounds, and other things I can’t even begin to guess.
Let’s just say I’d rather stay inside if that’s what’s out there.
After three days of walking around, we find ourselves in the library, where Bast quickly finds me some books.
How Not to Get Eaten by a Hellhound and Dealing with the Devil.
I laugh, but also take them because they both sound helpful.
I wonder if they have any on psychopathic angels who think they own you and how to get them to fuck off…
No, probably not; if they did, I imagine we wouldn’t be hiding away here still.
The table is full of old papers—parchment, I think, would be the word for it—and books with one of those old-school feather pens. Someone has been here, often by the looks of it, but whoever that is isn’t here now.
Probably Asta or Kai; they tend to be the ones who avoid me. Though, after the last few days of only seeing Ruin and Bast, I guess it could be any of them.
Did I do something wrong?
I push the thought away, unwilling to go down that road of self-loathing right now. Lucifer seemed to like me just fine the other night.
Nope, that’s not much better.
I focus on the papers on the table instead, finding that instead of words, there are mostly symbols written on them.
Shit, I hope I can read these books. I flip to a random page in the book from Bast and let out a sigh of relief when I find it’s in English.
“What’s up, Sunshine?” Ruin asks from behind me. I whirl around to find him coming down a staircase I hadn’t noticed previously.
“Oh,” I step away from the table, feeling as though I just got caught doing something wrong. I mean, I might have; who knows what this stuff is.
Damn, what’s that saying about curiosity and the cat…
“Um, I was just looking at the papers. Writing with a feather pen is awesome, but then I realized everything on the paper is symbols and was worried I wouldn’t be able to read the books, but they’re in English, so we’re all good.
” I plaster a smile on my face as I take a deep breath in through my nose.
Definitely just said way too much, but I couldn’t stop; it just kept coming out like word vomit.
Ruin’s brow pulls in confusion before he makes his way to the table and looks at the same paper I was just snooping at.
A smile pulls at his face, and he shakes his head as he lets the paper drop again.
“You won’t find any books here in that language. Maybe Talian has a few, but that’s the language of angels.”
Angels have their own language?
“Angels have been around far before modern language and writing. This is what we used, and most still use,” he explains with a shrug. “Change is hard, I guess.” He rolls his eyes dramatically, making me chuckle before moving closer to me.
“It’s just Kai’s notes on all the research he’s been doing. It’s pretty boring…” He walks past me, and I turn to watch him as he goes, feeling like he has more to say. “Except that list is about you, that’s pretty entertaining.”
I don’t know what I expected him to say, but it sure as hell wasn’t that.
“List?” My voice comes out as a pathetic little squeak, so I try again. “What kind of list?”
He doesn’t answer, instead looking back at me with a wink before he disappears.
I groan in annoyance because he could be literally anywhere. I hate that they can do that—just pop in and out whenever.
“Asshole,” I grumble under my breath, annoyed, and almost jump out of my skin when Bast comes up behind me.
“Who?”
“Damn it, can you guys like cough or, I don’t know, something? Not all of us have crazy demon hearing.”
A smile pulls at his lips, and I know he’s not laughing at me, but it feels like he is. I pout, and that only makes his smile wider as he makes a show of stomping the last five steps it takes him to be in front of me.
“Better?” he asks, cocking a brow and looking adorable while also being so ridiculous.
“Yes, I expect you to walk like that everywhere from now on.” I turn and walk away to try and hide the smile pulling at my lips.
It works for all of two seconds before he’s there, scooping me up into his arms bridal style.
He races us up the stairs, barking a laugh that echoes off the high ceilings.
I smack his chest with my hand that isn’t clutching the books to my chest, but even though I fear my stomach might have stayed back in the library, I can’t bring myself to care.
Not when he’s looking at me like that, when he’s smiling because of me, and holding me close.
One thing I didn’t know is that demons and angels are fast, like so fast I can hardly see them when they run.
Just a blur of movement here one second and gone the next.
Ruin and Bast have both run with me in their arms now, and I’m really not a fan.
Not only does it threaten to make me nearly revisit my last meal, but it also means they put me down much faster.
Now is a perfect example of that as Bast makes his way back into my room and onto my bed, setting me gently against the headboard. Thankfully, he doesn't go far, but still, being in his arms was much better.
I turn away, setting my books on the side table and grabbing a little chocolate bar to stay busy. Bast is great at reading me. I don’t need him to see my disappointment and ask questions.
No way do I want to explain that.
I pop the chocolate in my mouth and look up to find Ruin watching me from across the room. He sits in the chair next to my fireplace, watching me with a knowing look, but thankfully keeps his mouth closed.
My heart rate picks up under his watchful eye, and suddenly the room is too quiet.
I’m giddy; that’s the only way to describe this feeling.
I haven’t felt like this in… fuck, it’s been so long.
Ruin had started it, and then Bast, then Oliver, who, of course, I now know was Talian, and even Asta.
I fan myself because is it hot in here, or is it just me?
And then there’s Kai, who hates me, and that’s fine, especially if that’s what hate sex is.
I’d never understood the hype. I hated Rome, but when he touched me, I wanted to die; a piece of me felt like it did, so why did everyone make it sound like a good thing?
I get it now. I don’t hate Kai. I mean, he drives me fucking nuts, but his touch doesn’t make my skin crawl, doesn’t make me feel like I need to take a knife to myself and cut the infected areas away.
No, Kai, despite his asshole nature, makes me feel safe in a way Rome could never.
And Lucifer… Well, he was unexpected.
“So what exactly is a mate? What does that mean?” I ask, breaking the silence in the room and making both Ruin and Bast’s eyes go wide, though neither turns to look at me.
I wait, looking between the two as they have some kind of silent argument with their eyes.
In the end, Ruin seems to lose. He lets out a sigh, reaching up to rub at the back of his neck.
“Fated mates are souls that are made for each other, destined to be together. The universe deems them perfect for each other, a yin and yang if you will.” He hasn’t looked at me since he started talking, instead looking at the fireplace as if in a trance.
It sounds beautiful to have someone perfect for me and know I’m perfect for them. The idea that Lucifer is that someone for me makes my stomach feel like I just released a family of butterflies in it. But it only lasts a moment before it sours.
Can the universe be wrong? I feel like it has to be; there’s no way I can be his mate. He’s the literal devil.
Shouldn’t he have someone strong and beautiful, not…me?
Questions swirl around my head, but when I open my mouth, I end up asking one I hadn’t intended to.
“But I thought you said I was your mate, Bast?” The second the words leave my lips, I wish I could take them back.
If I thought Bast looked shocked by my question about mates, that's nothing compared to now.
His face turns red all the way up to the tips of his pointy ears, and I quickly slap a hand over my mouth.
“I’m sorry, ignore me,” I say, my words coming out muffled against my hand, but I can’t bring myself to move it as I feel my face heat as well.
Ruin chuckles from his chair by the fire, and I whip my head to glare at him just as Bast does the same. He holds up his hands as if to pacify us, but doesn't stop laughing, and suddenly this whole thing does feel very silly.
We’re all laughing now, and fuck if it doesn’t feel great.
We laugh for so long that my cheeks ache and my eyes water, but I feel lighter, happier, and the guys look like they feel it too.
Bast moves closer to me on the bed; he’s never far, and I honestly don’t want him to be. He brings me comfort, has since the day I opened my eyes here, maybe even longer than that if I’m being honest.
“Mates don’t follow the same rules as most of the rest of the world. You could have one mate, or more than one.”
“Like two?” I ask because the way he worded it seems strange.
It’s Ruin who answers me, though. “Yeah, two’s possible, but it could also be like ten.”
I feel my eyes go wide, so wide I’m shocked they don’t fall out and roll away.
Did he just say ten!?
“Ten?”