Chapter 38 Aeri
We went back to the room; Talian insisted on carrying me, and while it felt kind of silly, it was also adorable.
I’m tired, but even when Talian wraps me in his arms and tucks us into bed, sleep evades me.
I could wake Talian. I’m sure he wouldn’t mind, but he looks so peaceful that I can’t bring myself to do it.
Instead, I lie awake, enjoying the feel of his arms around me as I let my mind wander, thinking about what happened tonight.
Fuck, did I cheat on Lucifer? How does this work, having two mates? Should I have talked to Lucifer first?
Oh no.
“It’s not cheating, calm down, Moonlight.”
With a very undignified shriek, I bolt upright in bed, looking around, but the room is quiet. It takes me far too long to realize he’d spoken directly into my head.
“Lucifer?” I whisper aloud, unsure how to talk to him in his head or if I even can.
I hear his chuckle; it’s deep and dark but also carefree.
“Close your eyes.” He’s quiet for a moment, and I realize he’s waiting for me to do as he said. I hesitate for a moment, unsure if this is a good idea.
Maybe I’m just hallucinating?
In the end, I do as he says, letting my eyes fall closed. Even if I am hallucinating, what’s the harm in closing my eyes?
“Good, now picture who you want to talk to, in this case, me.”
I squirm under his praise but quickly do as he asked, picturing him in my mind.
“Now, think of what you want to say.”
“How are we doing this?” I gasp aloud when it works, a smile pulling at my lips.
“It’s something that mates are said to be able to do. I can speak with the others already. All demons and angels have the ability to speak directly into one’s mind, but you can reply now because you’re my mate.”
I look down at Talian, where he lies beside me, and wonder if that means I can speak with him like this as well.
I’ll have to remember to try in the morning.
“If we’ve been able to do this all along, why haven’t we?” I try not to pout but give up after a moment. I’m the only one awake, so what does it matter?
He’s quiet for a minute, and at first I worry I upset him and he’s left, but I can still feel him.
“I didn’t want to overwhelm or frighten you, but sometimes when feeling strong emotions, we can pull our mates into our minds.
I like to think of it as the universe ensuring we aren’t alone, but I wasn’t sure what you would be okay with after.
..” He doesn’t finish, but he doesn’t need to.
Even in my mind, I can hear his hesitation.
Rome.
That’s what he means, because Rome’s been in my mind, and he wasn’t sure how I would react to having him in my mind as well.
It’s thoughtful, in a way that warms my heart but also makes me sad. He shouldn’t have to tiptoe around because I’m broken.
Somehow, I don’t think he will appreciate me saying that, so instead I change the subject.
“Bast and Ruin didn’t mention anything about this when I asked them about mates and what it means to be mated to someone,” I grumble because I literally just asked them.
“Well, what did they say?”
I tell him about the conversation we had and feel his presence as if he’s really here in the room with me.
I wish he were.
“Yes, well, it’s more than that,” he says after.
“More how?”
I hear his chuckle again, and I decide I like the sound of it. I wish he was around so I could try and make him laugh like that for real, not just in our minds.
“Mates are different for everyone, but for me, my mate is my everything.
I spent my whole existence pushing against what I believed to be wrong, learned to stand on my own, and lost everything.
I was told I would never have a mate because of that, so to have you…
You're more than I deserve, more than I ever dared dream of, and I will protect and treasure you always.”
Damn.
That was much deeper than I expected.
“I have a visitor. Happy nightmares, Moonlight.”
I don’t know how I know it, but he’s gone before I can respond.
I wonder who his visitor is.
I cuddle back into Talian’s side, a warm, fuzzy feeling spreading through me like a fire in my belly when he reaches for me even in his sleep.
I’m still not sure I’m worthy of Lucifer, but I want to be.
I want to be worthy of all of them.