Chapter 46 Kai
Ifeel him.
Last time she said he was in her head, I’d been busy with Ruin and Bast in the library. I wasn’t properly paying attention, but this time I’m ready.
I move through the shadows up to her room to find her wedged between Talian and Bast, with Ruin draped across the bottom half of the bed as if he can’t bear to be away from her. I sense Lucifer was here at some point, though he isn’t now, probably off dealing with Asta.
I don’t envy either of them right now.
Ruin being back is strange, though. He’d been missing for the last few days. I’d reached out to him, but he only gave me lame excuses, like he had cars to work on or needed to return a library book. I knew something must have happened, but I didn’t care to dig deeper.
It looks like now I won’t have to.
I watch Aeri as her brows knit together and hear her heart rate increase.
Now’s the best shot I’m going to get.
Moving across the room, I grab the chair from beside the fireplace and pull it over to sit beside the bed before I collapse into it. It’s going to be a long night.
The mind is easy to manipulate once you know how it works.
You just have to know when to give and when to take and ensure you do them in equal measures, or else things can start to get tricky.
I’ve always been able to read minds, even as an angel, but it wasn’t until after the fall that I pushed further and started pushing into what else I could do inside someone’s head.
Even then, I never dared dream of doing what Rome is, first because it’s wrong and second because I wasn’t pathetic. If I wanted someone, I could make them like me; I didn’t need to purchase them and create a whole fake life…
Aeri was the first person I’d ever met, be it mortal, demon, or angel, whose mind was hidden from me.
At first, I told myself I didn’t care, then I said I cared because it was curiosity, but now I’m pretty sure I know exactly what it is.
No, I don’t have time to get into all of this right now.
First and foremost, I need to speak with Rome.
Letting my eyes fall closed, I sit back in the chair and focus on Aeri and her mind. I let myself slip into it, the feeling warm like a hug.
Not that I even like hugs, but you get the idea.
It’s still strange, being able to access her mind. It’s still only the lies Rome planted, nothing real, but it’s like I can feel her just out of reach.
It takes a few minutes before he shows himself, but when he does, the rage that fills me is like nothing I’ve ever felt before, and I’ve been punishing souls for a very long time.
This isn’t personal. I attempt to remind myself, but it does nothing to calm me because it sure as fuck feels personal.
“Let me through,” he demands, running at me with a look I’ve never seen in his eyes.
Desperation.
“I have to see her!”
I shove him back, and he falls to the ground before quickly pushing back to his feet and attempting to push past me again.
“No! Leave her alone, you fucking psycho.”
“She’s in pain, she needs me!” he growls, pushing me back a step.
How does he know that? And how do I stop him?
“That’s rich coming from you!” I hiss, throwing a punch and hitting him square in the jaw.
Fuck, that felt good; good enough that I do it again and again until one of my hits lands him on the ground, sprawled out and bleeding like the bitch he is.
What I wouldn’t give to be able to kill him here and now, but I can’t bring angelic steel into the dream plane.
Ironic how my own dream is unattainable.
He pushes himself back up, wiping blood from his lip, staining the pristine white of his shirt. He doesn’t deserve to be unmarred and unmarked; he didn’t long before what he did to Aerilyn. This is just the fucked-up icing on the cake.
“I didn’t mean to hurt her,” he huffs as he pushes to his feet again, wobbly and pathetic, but that’s fine. I have no issue knocking him around a bit more.
It’s almost therapeutic.
So is the laugh that’s ripped from deep down.
“You didn’t mean it?” I don’t even try to hide my disbelief because there's no fucking way he just said that.
“You own her soul, Rome! You’ve pushed yourself on her for years, made her life such hell that she left her whole life behind and ran. So desperate to escape that she fell into our laps.”
His face twists in disgust, but I’m not sure if it’s because he regrets what he did or because of the reminder that he chased her right to us.
It doesn’t matter, though.
The only thing that matters right now is keeping him from Aeri. She’s been through enough; she’s in enough pain from all of us. The least I can do is try to keep her sleep painless.
My fist finds his face again, and this time, I feel the crunch of bone, and he lets out a shout. It’s amazing the power that flows through me from his pain. My beast pushes to the surface, wanting to devour him, but I push it down.
His ass is poisonous, literally.
It’s almost worth it, though, to devour him. I would most definitely die, but so would he…
“I love her!” he croaks. I pause, fist pulled back, ready to hit him again. I don’t know when I grabbed him, but his shirt is bunched up in my hand, holding him close enough that I see the tears well in his eyes. Tears that have nothing to do with the ass beating he’s currently getting.
I narrow my eyes and really look at him.
This isn’t the Rome I knew, the one I ran from; something’s different, but the longer I look, the more sure I am that he’s fucking lost it.
He really believes he loves her.
“If you loved her, you wouldn’t want to cage her. You don’t know the first thing about love, Rome.” I shove him away, and he stumbles but catches himself before he crashes to the floor again.
“Teach me!” His brain must have been scrambled from one too many hits because he moves toward me, reaching out as if he’s going to touch me. “Please,” he pleads.
I watch in shocked horror as he falls to his knees before me, his hands folded as if in prayer, before he bows his head low to my feet.
“Teach me how to love her, please. I can’t live without her.”
I swallow hard, feeling like I’m choking on the air as I try to piece this Rome back together with the man I knew before.
What happened? When did he change?
Standing in the midst of Aeri’s mind, the answers are written all around me in the memories he took such painstaking time to create. The life he built for them brick by brick.
I look back down at the man at my feet as just that.
A man.
Not an angel, but a man confused and lost.
“If you really love her, let her go. You don’t hold people against their will. That’s obsession, not love. You have to choose her and be okay with the fact that she might not ever choose you back.” The words fall from my mouth like vomit, and I want to stop, but I can’t.
He doesn’t deserve my help, doesn’t deserve a chance with her… But what if he’s telling the truth?
What if she could be free of him?
His head snaps up, eyes wide with the same disbelief that I feel. Clearly, he didn’t expect an answer from me either.
“Thank you, brother.” He throws himself at my feet, and I hate that I can hear the gratitude in his voice, but even more, I hate the way he calls me brother. There’s no snark in the title I’d long since tossed aside. It’s as if we’ve stepped back in time, brothers in every way that matters.
“Don’t thank me,” I spit, stepping away from him as if he’s infected. “I hope she hates you until the day her heart stops, and then I hope she gains her wings and still rejects you so you have to live the rest of your very long life alone and miserable. With her so close but just out of reach.”
He looks up at me like a child who was just scolded, but there’s still no anger in his features, the way I expected.
“There’s nothing you can do that would ever be enough for her to forgive you for the pain you cause her.”
His lips pull down in a frown, and he shakes his head now.
“You’re wrong. I’ll find a way. You’ll see, but more importantly, so will she.” His eyes fall closed, and I feel his power press against mine. We fight, neither gaining nor losing, for a few minutes before he has a sudden surge and shoves me out completely.
I wake on the chair, sweaty and out of breath, gasping for air as I turn my attention to Aeri, who still lies on the bed, seemingly asleep.
How the hell had he done that?
That wasn’t his power, but I can’t place whose it was.
Who is that strong and would be willing to help him?
I watch Aeri, my eyes fixed on her face, looking for any sign of pain, ready to wake her if needed, but it never comes. If anything, she seems to breathe a sigh of relief and relax further into the bed.
Did he just…