Chapter 4 - Clara
I was struggling to keep my focus while strolling through the library.
The art section had always been my main interest. I have finally gotten in as a volunteer.
I looked at the books, recordings, and paintings as I passed them, pushing a book into place here and fixing another as I went.
Yet, I wasn’t really seeing them today. I had this feeling deep down in the pit of my stomach that I couldn’t get rid of.
What did Iosif do to me? I mean, yeah, the sex was better than great. But I knew he was looking for me. Why couldn’t I let go of our fleeting encounter? I mean, I graduated last year at the top of my class, but I had no idea what I wanted to do with my life yet.
That was the only reason I was here at the library.
I was volunteering until I could figure out my next step.
All I wanted was to stay busy. I enjoyed this.
Yet, all morning, I couldn’t get him out of my mind.
Glancing at my watch, I felt glad that most of the day had passed.
Tonight, my friends could assist me in clearing my mind.
Turning the corner, I let out a small yelp as a colleague stepped out in front of me. “What the hell! Don’t startle people like that.” I spat at him.
“Oh, I’m so sorry,” he replied. “I didn’t mean to frighten you.”
“No, it’s fine. I was a bit distracted. My mind’s not here today,” I replied as I moved to the side, trying to get past him.
He moved with me, stepping closer. I felt the end of the book row against my back. “Please, move,” I asked, trying to keep my tone low. He gave off a creepy vibe, and I didn’t want him so close.
“Sorry,” he whispered, caressing my arm. “I just wanted to know if I could take you out sometime. Maybe have supper at my place? I cook really well.”
Looking down between us, I swallowed hard as I focused on his shoes. “No, thanks,” I replied, feeling sweat on my brows. Looking up, I gently pushed him back as I continued. “I’m sorry, but I’m not interested at the moment. But thanks for asking.”
He stepped back, shaking his head lightly, looking at the floor. “Okay, okay, I get it,” he replied. He started moving away, then looked back, smiled, and nodded. “No problem,” he added before turning down an aisle of books.
As I watched him disappear around the corner, I thought I saw Iosif. Wiping my eyes, I backed up, but he wasn’t there. I sighed deeply, shaking my head before I started walking away.
Moving down another aisle, I leaned against the shelf. I couldn’t get Iosif out of my head. Shaking my head, I scolded myself softly. “No, you need to focus. You can’t be doing this. It was a one-night stand. You know he is dangerous. You must stay away.”
Turning to face the books, I tried to see if they were in the correct order. I pulled out a couple and started pushing them back in, in the correct order. Out of the corner of my eye, I swore I saw Iosif. Glancing sideways, I saw someone moving past the row of shelves, but it wasn’t him.
What the hell was going on with me? Why was my mind playing these tricks? If I kept hallucinating like this, I would need a stiff drink or a doctor. I felt like I was losing my shit.
I was trying hard to pull myself together when I heard his voice behind me. As I swung around, I couldn’t believe my eyes. There before me stood Iosif. I wasn’t going insane after all.
The couple of books I still held dropped to the floor. He looked down at the books and back at me. He was glaring at me like I was some kind of prize he had just won. I felt my stomach turn, and sweat breaking out on my neck. I was uncomfortable and nervous.
As he came closer, I felt my heart rate accelerate. He leaned in, speaking softly in my ear. “You are hard to get hold of. But getting you alone is even more of a challenge. With all your fans and admirers always around you.”
Pulling back, he winked at me. I felt the heat rushing to my cheeks. Despite my previous conscious decision to get away, my body was fighting. I was having to battle the attraction I felt. Just seeing him standing there filled me with a desire I’d never felt before.
“What are you doing here?” I asked. There was a slight pitch in my tone. I hoped he didn’t pick up on it. “You know you can’t be here.”
I didn’t trust myself with the sudden onset of emotions.
My mind flashed back to our one-night stand.
Glancing around, I noticed we were alone.
Why were there no other people around us?
I pushed past him. I needed to get somewhere where there were other people.
I moved down the aisle, hoping to be around more people.
The more I thought about our evening, the more turned on I got. Yet, he lied to me and tried to deceive me, and I felt hurt. The library was tranquil, and I didn’t see anyone. I felt his hand lightly on my shoulder.
I froze, unable to move, and he slowly turned me to face him. He raised his hand, and I closed my eyes, not sure what he was going to do. But he gently stroked my cheek as he spoke. “I’ve been looking for you.”
Opening my eyes, I looked into his. I didn’t know what he wanted from me. “You have?” I asked, trying to move back.
I wanted to take hold of his hand and lead him to a secluded corner, but my mind was freaking out. Instead, I placed my hands on his chest and softly pushed back as I replied. “Please leave, you can’t be here.”
“Oh, why not?” He shot back, grinning. “Is it a public place. Don’t you think I can have interests?”
I looked at him, feeling confused. He stepped closer, whispering. “Just think of all the fun we would have if I worked here as well.”
Looking down, I tried hiding the flush spreading across my cheeks. “No,” I replied softly. “I’m busy. I’m working, can’t you see?”
He placed his warm hand below my chin and lifted my head. Gazing into those deep blue eyes, I felt like I was drowning. My breath caught, and my heart raced. How could a man have such power over me? It was like my body just crumbled at his touch.
I knew I had to get out. I had to put a stop to whatever this was. Pulling back, I grabbed a book and headed to the tables. I sat down at the nearest table, refusing to look at him. I opened the book to any page and buried my head inside. But I could feel his strong presence.
Iosif pulled out the chair next to me. As he sat down, I looked at him. “You’re looking for trouble,” I huffed.
He rubbed his chin. “Mmm, what if I am? Naughty boys need to be punished, no?” he responded in a low tone.
I found it hard not to smile. My mind was running wild with thoughts of tying him up and punishing him. The things I could do, I thought. Taking a deep breath, I closed the book and turned in my chair to face him. “Please leave, I don’t want trouble,” I said softly.
“Oh, honey, you are trouble. But I like trouble,” he huffed. He reached out to touch my cheek, but I lightly smacked his hand away.
“Go,” I said sternly.
“I will go as soon as you talk to me about your abrupt disappearance,” he breathed out.
“I owe you nothing. I do not need to explain anything I do to you,” I spat back. “Leave,” I added as I rose from the table.
Iosif rose sharply, grabbing my arm, flinging my back to face him. I looked at his hand and then stared into his deep blue eyes. I frowned as I pushed his hand off. “I have nothing to say to you,” I stated calmly.
“Well, I’m sorry to hear that. But I do have something to say,” he replied, moving closer. “Why did you leave, and why out the window?”
My hormones had jumped onto a roller coaster. I fought my desire for him with all my might. “I do not need to account for anything, and you have no right to ask,” I responded. I could hear the sassiness in my tone but didn’t care. I had to protect myself.
Taking a step back, I crossed my arms over my chest. He was driving me crazy.