Chapter 51
Chapter Fifty-One
Sorry
MAGNOLIA
The Dome was a bloodbath. All sorts of monsters were packed across the dirt.
Most of the drakins were airborne and the amount of magic sweeping through the air was suffocating. If we survived this, there was no way they’d be able to hide their magic from the Wielders after tonight…
Fire was everywhere. Splashes of water appeared from thin air, but nowhere near what Jaxs had just done with the lake. Vines were snaking around the stands, metal and teeth were clashing violently, and wind was ripping through everything, adding a layer of chaos to the mayhem.
I was still in Bluey’s claw when panic settled inside me.
Aura—she was still in the pit. I tried to reposition, but I couldn’t see anything past Bluey’s claw.
“Jaxs!” I shouted over the onslaught, praying he could hear me. “Aura’s in the Dome.”
Bluey swooped low, circling the pit before heading skyward.
“No! Jaxs!” I tried to scream, but Bluey kept flying away from Aura.
If she died because of me, because I caused this. I brought all the dragons to her…
Bluey landed on the pad halfway between the Dome and the castle, before opening his claw. My Token flicked on right before I hit the stone.
“Aura is down there,” I shouted, standing to my feet as fast as I could. “I need to get back to her—”
“Relax,” Jaxs said, holding up his hands. “I heard you the first time. She’s fighting and is doing just fine on her own.”
“But she won’t leave—”
“She has a shield over her body. None of Dahes’ monsters can get to her. She’s fine—”
I left Jaxs on the stairs as I sprinted the rest of the way up, not bothering to wait to see what else he was going to say.
Aura was fine—and that was all I needed to know.
“Hael,” I breathed the moment I saw him.
He was covered in blood, clutching a dagger between Elion’s body and neck. I scanned the room, Dahes wasn’t in here, and it was all I needed before I bolted toward him.
He staggered to get up, leaving the dagger sticking out of the floor, before throwing a necklace back over his head, and meeting me halfway.
I leapt into his arms without thinking, and tears pricked my eyes as I realized how badly I needed him to be alive.
“You did it,” I mumbled in between ragged breaths. His one arm shifted until his hand was cupping my cheek, wiping a tear that ran down it.
“Mhm,” his throat made a sound, but it was barely audible, as he pressed his forehead against mine. “Are you alright?”
I didn’t answer right away, just savored the fact that no one else was in the throne room with us.
I had no idea how to explain how I knew exactly where he’d be.
It was like he was tethered to a string, every fiber of my being dragged me toward this room.
I ran through walls, keeping my transparency on just so I could get here the most direct route.
Hael pulled back to scan my face. “Nollie, are you hurt?”
I shook my head as memories of this past week flashed back through me. I shouldn’t be in his arms. I shouldn’t be clinging to him. I caused this. I’m the reason he’d been tortured nonstop by Dahes, the reason he killed Elion…
“I’m so sorry, Hael.” My voice cracked as my walls were slipping again. “I’m so sorry about everything.”
“Nollie,” he said, his hand tightening around my face, still cupping my cheek. “I need to know if you’re okay.”
I reeled back because he wasn’t okay. His lip was split over the scar he already had, and I could just glimpse a deep cut across his chest, poking out of the top of his shirt.
Other parts of him were burned. His skin was ripped in places.
I was pretty sure his fingernails were missing, and I knew almost every inch of him was covered in bruises.
“I didn’t mean to,” I whispered, the words lodging in my throat. It was all I could focus on. He should hate me. “I didn’t want to.” I stopped. Started again. “I didn’t want…”
“Shhh,” Hael’s hand started moving around my face, tucking strands of hair behind my ears. “I know.”
Any last shred of composure I had broke. My breath hitched as tears slowly fell from my face. Hael wiped them away, then pulled me closer to his chest. I was still in his arms…
“None of this is your fault, Nollie.”
I shook my head. He didn’t get to write this off. He didn’t get to look past this.
“I’m sorry,” I said again because I needed to.
“I’m sorry too, Nollie.”
It only made me sob harder. Suns, I told myself I was done crying, but I was crumbling in his arms, shattering all over again. Like the moment I was around him, I became unglued, the tightly wound ball I shriveled myself into was unraveling.
“You aren’t the one who needs to be sorry,” I cried, barely getting the words out. “I’m the reason you’re in this mess in the first place.” My voice hitched as I looked up at him. “I’m the reason you’re hurt.”
“I’m sorry,” he said, his hands still cupping my face, “for everything you’ve been through, Nollie.” A muscle in his jaw flexed. “And I’m sorry about your lover.”
“Lover?” I reeled back.
“The guy you sold your soul for,” he said. “I’m sorry he’s dead.”
My lips parted, realizing how everything looked to Hael. I shook my head, trying and failing to get the words out. “Masin is…” I swallowed. Paused. Started again. “Masin was my little brother.”
A moment passed, and then—
“Fuck.” His eyes searched mine. “I’m so fucking sorry, Nollie.”
I pushed past the tears, I wasn’t doing this here, not now. Later I would rip off this bandage. If I survived, I’d deal with it then.
“It’s okay,” I said, shaking my head, even though it wasn’t. None of this was okay.
Hael exhaled. “Was any of it real?” he whispered. His thumb momentarily stopped its movement along my cheek, but he didn’t pull away.
“What?” I breathed.
“Was it real, Nollie? Besides being forced to be in Viven. The cabin, was it—”
“Yes,” I nodded, my breathing hitched. “I wanted to stay.” I stared into his eyes, needing him to see the truth. I felt myself spiraling again. “I didn’t want to. I—”
“Then the rest doesn’t matter,” he cut me off. His thumb started rhythmically trailing down my cheek again as he pressed his forehead against mine. “It was real for me too,” he said quietly.
We stayed like that for longer than we should have.
Hael kept running his fingers over my cheek and through my hair, and I hated how much comfort I found in his touch.
Hated it because I knew Dahes was going to use it against me.
This was just the start, whatever he’d done to Hael this past week was nothing compared to what he would still do.
I didn’t want it to end, didn’t want to ever have to leave his arms…
“We need to go.” I slowly pulled back.
Hael nodded, gently setting my feet down on the ground. Green was illuminating the window, mixing with the blue as the Viridis moon was transitioning forward. Another hour had passed.
Hael stepped up the dais stairs toward Elion’s dead body. I watched the muscles in his back shift as he pulled the dagger out of the floor. He turned, taking the steps two at a time, as he wiped the blood off on the remaining frays of his leathers.
“Is there any chance you’ll let me kill the fucker?” Hael asked.
“How?” I gasped, my eyes widening. I wanted nothing more than for Dahes to die.
“With this,” he held out the dagger.
“The dragon-fire blade,” I breathed, remembering the triplets mentioning it.
Hael nodded. “I made it decades ago. There’s a shield around the blade, trapping the fire inside the metal. It doesn’t activate until it hits flesh.”
I was still staring at the dagger, my eyes snagging on a drop of blood Hael missed.
“Nollie,” he said, his voice lowering. “I want nothing more than to fucking tear him apart piece by piece. I want to shove this thing so far down his throat it splits him in two. But, if you want to, if you want to be the one to do it…”
His voice trailed off and I remembered his offer from the safe haven.
“I will walk into Moriann right now and kill him so slowly that it’ll take months. Hell, I’ll drag him out here so you can do it yourself if you want to.”
“I want to do it,” I said, surprising myself.
I wanted to do it for Masin. For myself.
He flipped the dagger in his hand, turning the handle to me. “Take this.” He extended it toward me. “But I’m coming with you.”
I grabbed the handle, turning the blade from side to side. The metal tip shimmered along the blade from the sconces, and I swore I saw glimpses of red and orange swirl under the silver.
He took my hands in his. “Can you do this, Nollie?”
I didn’t answer right away, just kept staring at the blade in between our hands.
“Let me be clear,” Hael added after a moment, moving one hand to gently lift my chin so I was looking at him. “I know you can do this, you’re more than capable, but mentally, Nollie, are you up for this? Are you sure you want to? I’d be happy to—”
“I’m sure,” I cut him off. “I can do this.”
I wasn’t going to let Dahes take anything else from me…
“Don’t let him see the blade until you’re ready.” He cupped my face the moment I felt Dahes enter my head. “He still thinks I have it. I have no idea where he went, but he’ll be back soon.”
I exhaled, stashing the blade in my belt. I didn’t tell Hael it was too late. Dahes already knew. He left Hael the moment he realized I broke out. He’d been looking for me…
“Come to me, little ghost. I’m waiting outside the castle if you want to use that dagger of yours,” he crooned inside my head, the order running through me. “I’d love to see you try.”
I could still do this. I had to.
“Nollie,” Hael exhaled harshly, stepping toward me.
“I know you can do this, but if things go wrong, I want you to keep your transparency on and then find Aura. She can keep a barrier over you, so Dahes can’t get to you, and whenever she needs to refill her well, use your Token.
No matter what happens, do not go back to him. ”
I shook my head. If we survived this, I planned on asking him about Aura, on why he believed she would do that for me and what happened during MonClem, but not now. We didn’t have time.
“I need to go alone,” I said, turning my Token on so Hael couldn’t stop me, and the moment I did, Dahes left my mind.
I staggered backward, trying to collect myself. I was half tempted to turn it back on just to test the theory, but Hael was watching me, and I knew he’d stop me the moment I did.
“No, I’m coming with you. It’s too dangerous, he can hurt you.”
“Hael,” I shook my head, almost laughing. “I’m already dead,” I said. “He can’t kill me if I use my Token.” And maybe he couldn’t hear my thoughts…
“Nollie—” Hael started, but I cut him off.
“If you come, he’s just going to use you against me.”
“Then let him do whatever the hell he wants to me, but you aren’t going alone.”
I was sick of Dahes taking things from me, sick of him hurting the people I loved, sick of being manipulated. I had to do this alone.
Breathe. One. Two. Three. Four. Exhale.
“I’m sorry,” I said as I exhaled. “But I promise, I can do this.” I didn’t look back as I started running.
Hael cursed before I disappeared through the walls, trying to lose him as I made my way to Dahes.
I knew he would chase after me. I only had a short window to do this before he found me. My only advantage was that he’d have no idea where I was going, and even if he did, it would take him twice as long without cutting through the castle.
I sent a final prayer to the Suns and Moons that this would work—that this would be the last time in my life I would be answering one of Dahes’ commands.