7. Kedi
Kedi
When I got home from work at the garage, hands covered in grease and smelling like motor oil and tires, Joel was lying in wait, ready to pounce.
“Spill!” he blurted as soon as I got through the door.
“You’ve been dodging my texts all day like you have something to hide.
” And even though I’d smelled him from down the hall, I still flinched.
I’d slept for shit last night, reliving meeting Conroy for hours on end, and after a full day of telling myself it didn’t matter that I’d been rejected, a headache had blossomed inside my skull like an atomic mushroom cloud.
“Can you tone down the enthusiasm by like a thousand decibels?” I said, wincing, as I kicked off my work boots and left them in a heap by the door.
I froze when Norman gave me a pointed look from where he sat on a stool at the counter eating something green, his textbooks open beside him.
With a sigh, I went back and straightened my boots on the little shelf he’d bought for our shoes.
The things I did to maintain the peace around here.
Not like he was pulling his weight around here. Glaring at Norman, I pointed at Joel. “Did you let him in?”
He shook his head. “Apparently he still has a key.”
Joel crossed his arms over his chest and rolled his eyes at me. “Quit acting like a child. Whatever it is, it can’t be that bad.”
I didn’t even acknowledge what he said, and instead, headed for the bathroom. “I’m going to take a shower.”
But when I went to swing the door shut behind me, Joel was there, pushing his way into the tiny room. “You can’t get away from me that easily,” he snarked.
“Hey, a little privacy?”
“Oh, please. Don’t tell me you’re shy. You’re a shifter, and I’ve seen you naked at least a dozen times.”
I arched a brow in challenge, then peeled off my coveralls and let it all drop to my ankles, then planted my hands on my hips and gave them a little wiggle, setting my dick swinging.
He slapped a hand over his eyes, groaning, then turned around.
“Nice try! But I’m not leaving, so you’d better just spill whatever it is you’re keeping in. Have you forgotten how stubborn I am?”
“Unfortunately, no,” I grumbled, before cranking on the shower and stepping into the tub.
On the other side of the curtain, I saw Joel’s silhouette as he lowered the toilet seat and sat down.
“Kedi, I know something is bothering you, and I wouldn’t be doing my best-friend duties if I didn’t annoy the hell out of you until you caved.
You would be doing us both a favor if you just gave in sooner, rather than later. ”
I grabbed the bar of soap and started to lather up.
Grease was such a bitch to get off, and no matter what I did, my fingernails were always lined with gray.
I scrubbed hard, my lips pinched tight. Admitting everything to Joel would make it real, and I was having a great time over here in my land of delusion.
There was no full moon. I never saw Conroy, never learned that he was my mate.
Was never rejected. None of it ever happened. The end.
My throat tightened with emotion, until I had to force myself to take a shaky breath. I wasn’t quite sure what to say, but in the shadowy steam of the shower, it was somehow easier to take a step back from everything and to put words to what really happened. “He doesn’t want me,” I finally said.
There was a moment of stunned silence, only the patter of water hitting the tub floor. “What do you mean?” he asked.
“I mean, he rejected me!” I snapped, headache pulsing in time with my heartbeat. “He took one look at me and ran scared. I recognized him from my childhood, but I haven’t seen him since… since…”
“Since what?” Joel asked.
The truth of my past was secured behind a brick wall three feet thick, and it felt like too much to deal with on top of everything else.
So instead, I said, “Since we were kids. It’s been almost 20 years, but I guess it wasn’t long enough for Conroy.
” I closed my eyes, conjuring the stunned expression on his face, so different from how he’d smiled at me as kids.
“We used to be friends.” I whispered that last part, softly enough that Joel’s human hearing might not have picked up on it.
His sigh echoed in the bathroom. “Look, I know I’m human, so maybe I don’t ‘get it’ or whatever.
I didn’t grow up with this belief that fate had a plan for me and that love would find me when the time was right.
And obviously I know mates are kind of a big deal, but…
you know there’s life beyond mating, right?
You can still be happy even without a man.
You can find other ways to be fulfilled. ”
“Yeah, sure,” I said with a scoff. I knew he meant well, but I wanted that happily ever after with my mate. I was desperate for the future that had been promised to me. I slapped the shower off and wrenched back the curtain.
Joel rushed to cover his face again before he got an eyeful of my dick. “You know, human or not, I have a mate too, and I’m sure you remember what a catastrophe it was. Finding him was only half the battle—”
“Yeah, but that was because you were human and didn’t have a clue what was going on. Once you found out the truth, everything locked into place.”
“Well, maybe your mate doesn’t know who you are?
” He said it with such beautiful naivety, but the words struck a chord somewhere deep inside me.
When I thought back on it, Conroy had certainly looked surprised enough to believe it.
Joel reached out blindly, patting my arm in comfort.
“I know this isn’t exactly what you had in mind, but maybe instead of expecting the worst, try hoping for the best.”
Could it really be so simple as him not understanding what we were to each other? Maybe he didn’t recognize me with the hair and the piercings. If only I could track him down…
I wrapped a towel around my waist and stormed back to where I’d left my phone on the kitchen counter next to Norman, who was just finishing up his salad. Behind me, I heard Joel calling after me, “Did you leave? Is it safe to look?” I didn’t bother to answer him. He would figure it out.
I stood there at the counter, water pooling around my feet, while I searched social media for Conroy Evans.
There were dozens of hits, plus hundreds more of other possible spellings of the name.
While I searched, I was distantly aware of the two of them chatting in the background.
I’d never heard so many words from Norman at once, but Joel had a way of getting people to open up.
Finally, I tossed my phone down in defeat. “So much for hoping for the best. He’s not on social media.” What kind of monster wasn’t connected with the world?
“I’m sure that’s not the only way to track him down,” Joel said unhelpfully. “What about, like, the phone book? Is that still a thing?”
“Not really, no.” The only people in the phone book were over the age of 65. Most people our age chose to keep their numbers unlisted. Hell, Conroy probably was on social media but under a fake name.
Joel really was the most stubborn person I knew, so of course he wasn’t ready to give up. “Well, then how do we track him down? Was he wearing a shirt with a business logo on it maybe? Or any identifying marks?”
Frowning, I thought back to last night. I hadn’t been paying particular attention to his clothes, except for the way they were clinging to him, but I was pretty sure they were all neutral colors.
“He did have this necklace,” I said, suddenly remembering the little silver pendant he was wearing.
"It was like a-a leafy thing… with these lines that curved like…” Trying to describe it was pointless, so I grabbed one of Norman’s pens and flipped his notebook over to draw on the back.
Norman muttered, “Sure, you can borrow that,” under his breath.
“Thanks.” I proceeded to draw a circular pattern with a tree in the center, its leafy branches entwining with the roots below. “And there was like a star, I guess? I wasn’t really paying much attention to it.”
I was drawing it for Joel’s sake, but Norman, who always paid attention, went still in a way only a prey shifter could.
“Fuck,” he muttered under his breath. I’d never heard the studious rabbit curse before.
He ripped the pen from my hand and turned the notebook around to see it head-on.
“Are you sure? Like, a hundred percent sure this was what you saw?”
“Well, I mean, I’m no artist, so it probably looked a little better than that, but…
yeah?” It was pretty clear that Norman recognized it from somewhere, and hope soared that I might be able to track Conroy down.
That hope, however, took a nosedive straight into the ground—roughly six feet deep—when Norman said firmly, “You must never, ever go looking for this man. You’re lucky he only rejected you. ”
“Rude!” Joel said on my behalf. “Can’t you see he’s hurting? A little sugarcoating on the bad news would be appreciated.”
I wasn’t worried about the delivery. All I wanted was the truth. “What do you know?”
Norman grew more serious, his face adopting his “teaching” expression, which usually accompanied a lecture of some kind, though I was more used to his lectures being about the benefit of keeping our apartment tidy.
Grabbing the book open on the counter beside him, he flipped through until he found what he was looking for, then rotated it my way.
Sure enough, there on the page was a more accurate rendition of what I’d drawn.
“This symbol, of a star beneath a tree, is a representation of The Divine Order. The tree’s roots and branches entwine to represent the full circle of life, from birth to death, and the star is in tribute to the gods they worship. ”
Unease began to tingle through me as I caught some disturbing words off the page—like sacrifice and devotee. “Um, hang on. This is starting to sound like a cult…”
He held his hands out, like duh.
“And not even a fun cult that believes aliens walk among us,” Joel added. “When you say circle of life…”
Norman nodded. “I mean their primary goal is to wipe shifters off the face of the earth.”
Both Joel and I were already shaking our heads. “But Conroy is a shifter. Why would he hunt down his own kind?”
Norman leaned forward, eyes sparking. “Don’t you see the beauty in their plan?
They kidnap children from packs, brainwashing and drugging them until the Order is all they know, and then rewire them to do their dirty work.
Diabolical, but highly effective.” He tapped the drawing of Conroy’s pendant.
“You should count yourself lucky that he let you live to tell the tale. I’m sorry, but you should consider your mate gone and move on. ”
My wolf’s hackles rose as he pulled back his upper lip in a growl that vibrated through my own chest, filling our small kitchen with the sound.
“Spoken like an unmated shifter.” I suppressed my beast’s anger and tried to focus on facts.
“Where did you learn all this? If they kill every shifter they come across, how are there witnesses left to tell the tale?”
“You survived the encounter, didn’t you?
They’re not perfect. I used to think they were mere legend, like a bedtime story to scare disobedient children, but my friend Jasper is a deer shifter, and he claims he was shot by a hunter just two nights ago.
” He patted the book open on the counter beside him.
“This is exactly what I’m studying. My degree is about local folklore and the history behind it.
There’s even an account of a man who claimed to have escaped the cult. ”
“What did he have to say about it? Is he still around for me to ask some questions?” There were a lot of answers I needed, not least of which was the location of my mate.
Norman shook his head sharply. “He was found with a Damascus blade buried in his chest soon after. Turned out, induction into the Order is a life sentence.” He closed the book with a snap and pushed back from the table.
“Leave it alone, Kedi. Your mate is not someone you want to get messed up with.” Then he marched off to his room and closed the door.
Joel and I stood there in silence for a long moment, staring after him, his ominous warning still ringing in our ears.
Even my wolf had gone silent, unsure about where to go from here.
Conroy, my childhood friend, clearly needed me.
But if he had been brainwashed like Norman claimed, then he probably didn’t want my help.
But would fate have made the match if I was supposed to simply walk away?
The weight of it all on my shoulders made my back bow. This just made an already long day even longer. It wasn’t a problem I could solve right this second. What I really needed was a few minutes of not thinking about it.
I turned to look at Joel, who looked as overwhelmed as I felt. “Wanna order pizza?”
“Nah. How about Greek?”
“Sure, sounds good."