12. Apollo
Apollo
I hadn’t gotten back to the compound until almost midnight, and when I pulled in, the entire yard was lit up by the floodlights, several elders standing out front, fully dressed in their hunting gear.
It was clear they were waiting on me, and my blood went cold thinking of what would’ve happened to Kedi if they’d decided to track me down.
I’d jumped out of the truck, full of desperate apologies for being late, ready to offer a flimsy excuse about having car trouble.
Heck, I was lucky I hadn’t crashed the truck into a tree, the way my wolf was demanding I turn around.
If he knew how to drive, I had no doubt he would’ve torn his way out of me and taken the wheel.
The elders went silent as they waited for Pater’s judgment.
I could almost feel the bite of the whip across my back, even though it had been years since I’d stepped over any line worthy of punishment.
In the end, Pater nodded, looking over at my vehicle thoughtfully.
“Maybe it’s time to consider a new truck for you,” he said, playing the magnanimous leader, though he couldn’t quite hide the suspicious glare he gave me.
I’d thanked him thoroughly, as was expected of me, then went straight to bed.
There was something about bowing to Pater that grated on me more than usual.
It took everything I had to duck my head, when every instinct had me wanting to bare my teeth.
It was a good thing he couldn’t smell Kedi on me, our dried cum still stuck to my skin, but the others sure could.
I caught more than a few winks and snickers on my way to my room as heads peeked out into the hall.
It made sense, knowing they were likely shifters, their heightened senses picking it up. I paid attention to who gave me a knowing look, wondering which one was the bear, the cat, the wolf…
Almost three weeks had passed since I last saw Kedi, and I could feel the full moon’s pull more than I ever had.
I knew my first shift was coming whether I wanted it to or not, I could feel it.
Twice, I’d had to keep my eyes averted from the others in case my wolf was shining through like I’d seen Kedi’s do.
The only thing that kept me from losing it completely was the promise of seeing my mate tonight.
I worked extra hard to stay under the radar, acting the perfectly obedient hunter so I could go meet Kedi without raising any red flags.
I stood in the field halfway to the trees, observing the younger trainees lined up down the new archery range as they struggled to pull the string back far enough.
None of them had gotten anywhere close to hitting the target yet.
These were muscles they’d never used before, and even with the smaller bows, it took practice.
Most of the arrows had landed in the grass halfway to the hay bales.
For all their grunting and groaning, never once did they complain or suggest giving up.
They were a good bunch of kids. Despite the misguided beliefs being fed to them, I was proud of them, and I made sure to tell them that as I went down the line, offering corrections.
Whenever I left this place for good, I knew I would be taking them with me.
Setting a hand on Alastor’s elbow to straighten his stance, I wondered if he was a shifter too. “Chin up,” I told him as I took a discreet breath, trying to pick up on the scents that Kedi had so easily plucked from my clothes. What did an animal smell like?
Fur, my wolf offered, and I had to fight to roll my eyes.
Gee, thanks for that. I could feel him preen at my reply, because apparently sarcasm went over his head.
The connection between me and my wolf had been getting stronger, but I didn’t know what was causing it.
Was it because I’d met my mate? But I’d started hearing the voice in my head way before I met Kedi, so maybe it was something deeper inside me that had triggered it.
Either way, I knew there was no going back, even if I’d wanted to, which I very much did not.
As it was, I felt sick for how long I’d blindly followed their orders.
It took everything I had to smile and nod, to go along with everything Pater and the other elders said, knowing what I did.
Sometimes I wished I could forget. Standing here with the sun warm on my face, I would close my eyes and breathe the pine and earth and far-reaching wind, brush my fingertips over the long grass, and I could tell myself I was free. But reality couldn’t be held back for long.
The lives I’d taken, the blood I’d spilled… It was going to take a lifetime of atoning for those mistakes. And I would start by saving the lives of the other shifters here.
Memories had started to resurface in the weeks since I last saw my mate.
I got a flash of a younger Kedi, with his mud-spattered feet, laughing hard enough that his dimple came out.
It was harder to remember our pack, our little community in the woods along the bank of the river, beyond a few snippets of sound or smell.
But in my dreams, I remembered sitting in my father’s lap as he taught me how to be a good Alpha, like he was.
“It’s important that you respect each and every member of your pack, and they will respect you in turn.
” When I woke up, his deep rumbling voice still humming in my ear, I tried so desperately to cling to what he’d looked like, but with the light of day, the memory drifted through my fingers like sand.
How could I have forgotten my own father?!
The grief and pain made me irritable, and I had to get it all out or I would turn my anger on Pater, and it wasn’t his turn yet. “Who wants to fight?” I called out to the other hunters in challenge.
Seth, who’d been chopping firewood, gave me a leering grin and casually pitched the axe down into the stump at his feet, burrowing the head of the axe six inches deep.
“I’m game.” Prowling closer, he peeled off his shirt and left it in the grass.
He was far bigger than I was, and his grin was enough to give grown men nightmares. “I’ll try to take it easy on you.”
I cracked my neck, shaking out all the tension from my body. “Please don’t.” I needed him to unleash on me, needed the sharp bite of pain to remind me of why I was still here in this monstrous cult instead of living my best future with my mate.
We didn’t have a designated sparring ring, but the lawn would do.
I could feel interest from the others, and they began to trail over, forming a loose circle around us.
Whereas the others began jeering, goading us on, Brahm stood with his arms crossed over his chest, frowning like he disapproved, but he didn’t say anything to admonish the rest of us.
I let Seth get the first hit. I saw it coming from a mile away because he moved like a landslide, relying on his pure brute strength instead of speed or subtlety.
His shoulder dropped, and I braced myself as that fist hammered me straight across the jaw.
I staggered back, stars sparking behind my eyelids as I tasted copper.
I spat out a mouthful of blood then glared up at his manic grin. He should’ve pressed his advantage, but he was standing there cackling like a fool. “I hope you enjoyed that, cause it’s the only one you’re going to get.”
Seth opened his mouth, no doubt ready with some comeback, but before he had a chance, I dodged forward and got him around the backs of the thighs, lifting him clean off the ground, before slamming him back down with my shoulder in his gut.
His breath left him in a whoosh, and before he could recover, I showed him what it meant to dominate your opponent.
While Seth was undoubtedly huge, I felt stronger than I ever had.
My senses were heightened, my skin itching with the need to move.
All this rage I had building inside needed an outlet, and it was just his bad luck that he’d volunteered to spar with me.
With my knuckles bloody, I got him in a chokehold.
His movements got slower, sloppier, until he was forced to tap out.
I released him, and he lay back, wheezing for breath.
Seth blinked up at the sky, clearly shocked to find himself on his back, but then he smiled and rolled onto his knees, accepting his loss with a surprising amount of grace.
I offered him a hand up, and while he could’ve slapped my hand away, instead, he took it and let me pull him up to his feet.
“Damn, Apollo. Didn’t know you had it in you.
” If I didn’t know any better, I would say I’d gained a small amount of his respect.
Taking him down was too easy, and there was still too much anger coursing through my veins, so I turned back to the circle of hunters. “Who’s next?”
Moros and Castor immediately shoved at each other in their eagerness to get into the ring. “Me first!”
I shook my head, laughing darkly. “No need to push. You’ll both get your turn.”
And they did.
After Moros and Castor, I took down Pallas, then Erebus.
One by one, I took the other hunters down, but when I might’ve expected them to stomp off in a huff, none of them did.
When I noticed they were sticking around, not just to watch but to analyze, I decided to change my tactics.
Instead of simply beating them, I decided to teach them.
Much like I had helped the kids with their archery, I used this sparring match as a lesson, showing them how I beat them and how they could improve their form.
How to hide their tells, how to use their opponent’s momentum, how to land a fall without hurting themselves.
Finally, it was Brahm’s turn.
He stepped into the ring slowly, cataloging my every move in that quiet way he had.
He was built a little differently from my other opponents.
He was taller, with lean muscle and long limbs, and he moved with a strange kind of grace the others lacked.
It was going to be much harder for me to get a read on him.
We didn’t say anything, just offered each other a respectful nod, then lowered into a crouch.
The others had all struck first, eager to brawl, but he seemed content to wait me out.
We circled each other on light feet, and he feinted once or twice, but I kept my calm.
More importantly, I felt my wolf settle inside me too.
I knew this was what I’d needed to center myself. I felt connected here, to the land and to the other hunters. I didn’t agree with what we were being trained to do, but the more time I spent with them, the more I wondered if maybe this was what a pack felt like.
When Brahm dashed forward, I was ready for him.
We traded jabs, but it appeared he’d been paying attention to the lessons.
Instead of trying to stop my punches, he simply guided them away, using my own momentum against me.
After ten minutes, neither of us had landed more than a glancing blow.
We were both still on our feet, soaked in sweat.
“Okay, okay,” I said with a friendly laugh. “We might have to call this one a draw for now. Great job, Brahm.”
He grinned and straightened to his full height. “What can I say, you’re a good teacher.”
“That he is,” another voice joined in, and I broke out in goosebumps from the sudden chill. Pater stepped out from the shadows around the house. “But now it’s getting late. I don’t want you all too exhausted for tonight’s hunt. Full-moon ceremony starts in half an hour.”
I hadn’t even realized how late it was. I was covered in sweat and grass stains, but when Pater’s eyes bored into me, I fought the urge to hide my hands. I knew the splits across my knuckles had already healed, but I was hoping that fact was hidden under the dried blood.
A full-moon ceremony meant bathing in wolfsbane, and the mere thought of subjecting myself to it made me sick. Seth nudged me with his elbow. “Hey, you don’t look so hot. Did I hit you too hard?”
I gave him a tight smile, swallowing the bile burning the back of my throat. “Yeah, right. That little tap you gave me? I barely felt it. I’m probably just coming down with something.” Which wasn’t likely for a shifter.
Pater overheard, and if I hadn’t been paying attention, I might’ve missed the way his eyes pinched.
He knew shifters were immune to human illnesses, but he couldn’t very well argue with me without giving their ruse away.
“If you’re sick, perhaps you should stay in tonight, get some rest,” he said carefully.
“I can prepare a tonic for you.” One guess what the main ingredient of that tonic might be.
“No, sir. I’m sure I’ll be fine to hunt tonight.” I had no other choice, because the alternative was leaving Kedi waiting in the woods, thinking I didn’t want to see him, and that was unacceptable.
“Very well. If you’re sure.” Pater swept his arm out, ushering me inside to prepare.
Later, in the old stone barn, when it was my turn, I did what I needed to do to get back to my mate. I kept my expression smooth as I stepped into the bath, the water searing my skin. I’m so sorry, I told my wolf, but beneath the toxins, I could not hear his answer.