Chapter 16 #2
I raised an eyebrow but obeyed, head on the thin pillow. Surrender wasn’t my terrain. With Selina, it felt right. Necessary.
She unbuttoned her blouse slowly, inch by inch of skin revealed. I wanted to touch. To tear. Her order kept my hands on the mattress. The slow reveal was its own kind of torture.
When she let the blouse fall, a breath punched out of me. The bra was plain, functional—not meant for show—yet her bare shoulders and the curve of her breasts above satin had me aching.
“You’re staring.” Color rose along her chest.
“Can’t help it.” My voice was tight. “You’re beautiful.”
She slid her hands behind her back and unhooked the bra. Straps slid down. She drew it off and I saw her—small, perfect, nipples tightening in the cool air.
“Now who’s staring?” I didn’t bother to hide it.
Her mouth curved as she moved to my belt. “I’m doing more than staring.”
She worked the belt fast, then the button. Each brush of her fingers across my abdomen stoked heat. When she eased the zipper down, relief hit sharp.
I hissed when her hand slid inside and wrapped around me. One stroke. Two. Testing. Confident.
“Christ, Selina.”
She bent and kissed me, her chest bare against mine. She tasted like heat and stubborn control. When she drew back, her eyes were glazed.
“I need you,” she said against my mouth.
I reached up and palmed her breast, rolling her nipple until she arched. A soft sound slipped out of her. “Then take me.”
She sat up and pushed my jeans and boxers down enough to free me. Then she stood on the berth, careful with the sway, to strip off her pants and underwear.
The sight of her—naked above me, skin flushed in the thin strip of light—nearly undid me. Hair loose, lips swollen. Not the polished doctor. Just a woman who wanted. Mine, for now.
She climbed back over me, the slick heat of her pressing along my length. I caught her hips, trying to guide her, but she resisted.
“Not yet.” Her tone was teasing. “I’m in charge, remember?”
A low sound left my throat. I flattened my hands on the mattress. “You’re killing me.”
“Good things come to those who wait.” She rocked, sliding her wet heat along me without taking me in. Slow torture.
I watched her face as she moved. Her eyes went heavy, mouth parted, breaths quickening. Her hands braced on my chest, mindful of the bruises, as she found a rhythm that had both of us chasing it.
“Selina,” I warned, control fraying. “If you keep that up…”
“Shh.” She kissed me, still rocking. “I know what I’m doing.”
I believed her. She wore a different kind of certainty now, a woman who knew exactly what she wanted. It sent another bolt through me.
She straightened and lifted her hips. One hand slid between us and guided me to her. “Look at me.”
I did. Watched her sink down on me, inch by inch. Heat and tightness cinched around me until it bordered on pain. My hands flew to her hips when the train tilted.
“Fuck.” I fought for control when she took all of me.
She held still for a beat, adjusting. The clench of her around me dragged a sound from deep in my chest.
“You feel so good.” She started to move. “So deep like this.”
I watched where we fit together, unable to look away as she rode me. She tested the sway at first. Then set a pace, sure and building, until both our breaths came ragged.
The berth complained under us. The train thundered on. I didn’t care who heard. The world narrowed to this bed, this body, this heat.
I slipped a hand from her hip to where we joined and found her clit with my thumb. She gasped, rhythm faltering as I circled.
“That’s it,” I said. “Let me feel you.”
“Yes.” Her voice broke. “Right there. Don’t stop.”
I wasn’t stopping. Not when she looked like this—open, raw, taking what she wanted. This wasn’t just sex. It was real. Dangerous in a different way.
I pressed harder with my thumb. “I want to feel you come against me.”
Her rhythm stuttered, need kicking. I gripped her hip with my free hand, anchoring her while she chased it. When it broke over her, her back arched and she clamped around me hard, my name on her mouth—Specter—and for the first time I wished I knew who I’d been so she could say it.
Watching her unravel, feeling those sharp pulses drag me with her, shoved me to the edge. I thrust up, ignoring the fire in my side, wanting closer. Deeper.
“I’m close.” My voice was tight. “Selina…”
She bent down, chest to chest, mouth at my ear. “I’m here. Only you.”
The last thread snapped. Pleasure slammed through me, hot and blinding, as I spilled inside her with a raw sound. She kept moving, coaxing the last of it until I was spent and heavy beneath her.
She draped herself over me, careful of the bruises, breath warm on my neck. I wrapped my arms around her and held on. The train carried us forward, steady and unbothered.
“You okay?” she asked against my skin. “Your side—”
“Worth it.” I kissed her temple. “I’d take that pain any day.”
She shifted to move off. I tightened my hold. “Hold on. Stay.”
She settled again, still joined. The quiet should’ve let reality in—danger, doubt about who I was, the fact that this wasn’t built to last. For once, the noise in my head went quiet.
“What are you thinking?” she asked, fingertip drawing shapes on my chest.
I could’ve lied. She didn’t deserve it. “That I don’t know how to do this.”
“Do what?”
“This.” I gestured between us. “Whatever this is.”
She propped on an elbow, looking down at me. Her hair fell forward, closing us in. “Does it need a definition?”
I tucked a strand behind her ear. “In my world, everything needs parameters. Boundaries. Rules of engagement.”
A small smile touched her mouth. “Is that what I am? An engagement?”
“You’re…” I searched for words I’d never been taught. “You’re the only real thing I’ve got. The only thing that makes me feel human.”
Her face softened, and she leaned down to kiss me. “You were always human. They just made you forget.”
Pressure built in my chest again, not all bad. “I don’t deserve this,” I said. “You. After everything I’ve done…”
She touched a finger to my lips. “You don’t get to decide what you deserve. Not anymore.”
A whistle sounded somewhere ahead, thin in the night. Outside, the world slid by in shadows and smears of light. Between places. Between names. Between the weapon they built and the man I might claw back.
With Selina warm in my arms, the in-between felt less like a void and more like a door.
She shifted, finally easing off with a soft sigh. She didn’t go far. Curled into my side, head on my shoulder, one leg over mine. I pulled the thin blanket up and tucked it around us. A small, temporary cocoon.
“We should sleep,” she murmured, already fading. “Long day tomorrow.”
I nodded and stroked her hair. Sleep shouldn’t have been possible with what waited us. With her weight anchoring me, heat against my skin, my eyes grew heavy anyway.
The train rocked on, steady as a pulse. In the dark, between where we’d been and where we were going, I let myself want something I wasn’t supposed to have.
I closed my eyes and let sleep take me, Selina safe in my arms.