Chapter 19
CHAPTER 19
E sme
Hunter’s eyes were like glass, rarely blinking as he stared right in front of him. He’d been that way for almost a full hour. I knew he wasn’t much of a talker, but to see him absorbed in such tremendous darkness was disturbing.
“Your brothers love you.” I honestly wasn’t certain why I’d said that to him. In the weeks I’d been in town, I’d caught elements of the tension between them. I’d overheard disagreements. What was different in their relationships than in any other family?
That all three were highly skilled killers? My skin should be crawling at the thought, but I found it just another sexy aspect.
“Love? I don’t think they know what love is,” he said, but as soon as the words left his mouth, he laughed. “Yeah, don’t say it. I know. Denise and Bella have them fucking wrapped tight.”
“Is there something wrong with that?”
He took the opportunity to tip his head toward me. “Nah. I guess not. I realized I’m jealous.”
I was shocked at his admittance. “They went through some difficult adjustments.”
“How do you know that?”
“Girls talk. Men just flex in a showdown of testosterone.”
His laugh was so good to hear that I shivered all the way to my toes.
“You have a way with words, little butterfly. You really do. I think they care more than I allowed myself to believe, but love is tough. Especially when you’ve been exposed to the worst pieces of garbage disguised as human beings.”
I knew he wouldn’t share any details of what he’d been through, yet I so wanted to learn more about him. What made him tick? What had driven him into horrible nightmares? Why was I so desperate to know? I hated the answer, but it was truthful.
Because I couldn’t stand the thought of being used or of allowing myself to feel more than I already did. Until I was sure. Of what? Of what he wanted.
“Navy SEALs, huh?” When Hunter didn’t say a single word right away, I slowly turned my head while hiding behind my wineglass.
In turn, he lifted his eyebrows. “You’re determined to find out more about me.”
“When you don’t offer freely, I dig. I’m damn good at it.”
“Yes, you are. Just remember, be careful how hard you search. You might not like what you find.”
Did that mean there was more to find? “I think I’ll take my chances. Maybe I’ll start now.” I pretended to start to get up and he jerked me down, using a belt loop in my jeans.
“Nice try, sunshine, but you won’t find shit on me. I don’t exist any longer.”
He seemed amused when I looked in his direction. “Really? Was your work that secretive?”
“That dangerous.” Smirking, he pulled the glass to his lips, taking a slow sip. “But yes, Navy SEAL. Proud of it. That much I’m free to tell you.”
How terrible it must be for him to keep such unimaginable secrets.
“Tough job, but I loved everything about it.” It was easy to tell when he was remembering something terrible versus the fond memories that had likely kept him from eating a bullet.
I continued teasing him by crawling my fingers down his arm, tracing the tattoo I could see since he’d taken off his sweatshirt and rolled up the sleeves on his flannel shirt. At least I’d gotten to think of him as a real mountain man since he’d chosen a plaid design. “A sea otter or something? Is that what you were called?” Of course, I knew otherwise, but I did adore the way he got a little hot under the collar.
Plus, I was trying to get a handle, any handle on why someone had tracked him down, determined to end his life. He’d attempted to shove aside my concerns by telling me it was probably just some asshole who’d lost a bet. Bullshit. The man was a horrific liar, but I appreciated his efforts.
“Ha. Ha. I was a commander.” He furrowed his eyebrows as he remembered. The man was still thinking as he swirled the whiskey in his glass tumbler before taking a swig. “I also had the Special Warfare Operator rating. It was an honor that I didn’t bother sharing with my family. Who does that? You know?”
“Someone who was unsure of what he was doing.”
His laugh sounded bitter. “Maybe you’re right. I thought I’d spend the rest of my life in the Navy. Things change.”
“You were offered something better,” I said hopefully.
“Yeah,” he offered, trying to smile. “Let’s leave it at that.” He placed his drink on the table, sitting forward and not bothering to blink as he stared at the fire.
That was my cue he was shutting down. I settled into the couch, sleepy yet unwilling to give up the night we’d shared just yet. I drank more wine, enjoying the warmth the rich merlot provided. The liquid libation had also calmed my nerves. I still couldn’t believe Hunter had managed to stop the bike before wrecking.
If I’d been able to wrap my hand around the bitch’s neck, I’d make her suffer before finally ending her life. Had a moment of my jealous beast made an appearance, worrying that the woman’s determination to run us over had something to do with a past love affair? You bet it had. I wasn’t proud, but I refused to be stupid either.
Yet he’d shown me the texts on his phone. His life was squarely in danger. I polished off my wine, gingerly placing the glass on the table.
“Where do you see yourself in ten years?”
My question seemed so out of the blue, I could tell he wasn’t certain what to make of it.
“I have no fucking clue.” His answer was gruff.
“Oh, come on,” I mused as I shifted my weight on the couch so I could face him. “Maybe I should ask you what you’d like to be doing in ten years.”
As he stared at the fire, rubbing his jaw, all I could think about was how sexy he was with a beard and mustache. There was something so naughty about the way the coarse hairs tickled my pussy when he was licking me.
“Where I thought I’d be and where I’d like to be are entirely different.”
“How so?”
“You answer the question,” he challenged.
The snow continued to fall. I’d been mesmerized by the falling flakes for two hours since Hunter’s brothers had left. I’d seen total concern in their eyes, a need to protect their brother. I’d felt warm and gushy inside. There was no one more supportive than a family member.
“Okay,” I started. “I thought I’d be working in a fine dining establishment maybe in New York or Los Angeles making beaucoup dollars while igniting food passions.” I laughed after making the claim. The statement wasn’t far from the truth.
“And where would you like to be?”
This answer was far easier. “Right here. Working at the resort. Now, don’t take that as I’d slack off. I still want to make the culinary world know of my existence. Maybe magazine articles or guest appearances on the Food Network.”
“Entirely possible. You’re more talented than the hacks on any of those shows.”
I leaned over, kissing his cheek. I’ll be damned if it didn’t seem like he was blushing. “You’re very kind, but I don’t know if you’ve really eaten any of my food. Have you?”
He wrinkled his brow and I pointed my finger at him.
“I knew it. You bark about every aspect of my being, yet you have never tasted my food. What am I going to do with you?”
“I’ll have you know I don’t bark,” he barked then grinned. “And I could give you some pointers.” He rolled two of his fingers down my thigh.
As usual, I shivered. However, I removed his hand. “Nice try, buster. But you’re not getting out of answering the question.”
“What question?”
I gave him a dirty look.
“Oh, yeah. Let’s see. You’re not going to like the answers.”
“There’s no right or wrong to them.”
“Okay. I thought I’d be dead.”
I was thrown to the point I sucked in my breath audibly. “That’s horrible.”
“I told you that you wouldn’t like it.”
Cocking my head, I scooted even closer until our legs were crowded together. “That just makes me sad. You were that committed to your work?”
Hunter nodded. “I was. Maybe I still am.”
I’d sensed he’d never be able to completely be at ease living a normal life. The ache in my heart was more pronounced than before. “And now?” Did I really want to know the answer?
“I wish I could give you the answer you’re hoping for, but I’m all caught up in trying to figure out who wants to kill me. The dude is watching me.”
I thought about the day in the bistro. “Do you think whoever this person is figured out who I am to you?”
“I hope to hell not. Why?”
Before I answered, I chewed on my bottom lip. “That day when you saw me at the bistro, I thought someone was watching me through the window.”
“Male or female?” He bristled.
“I don’t know. The person was bundled up, but I could swear they were staring right at me.”
“And you didn’t see a person outside your window that night.”
I hadn’t thought about the incident in a couple of days. “No. Are you thinking there might have been someone else?”
“Anything is possible,” he said, the damn faraway look in his eyes remaining.
“What is going on? Why is some chick after you?”
“I don’t know but I don’t like this. When the storm lets up and after I take you back, you’re going to forget I exist for a while.”
“That’s not going to happen.”
“Don’t push me, Esme. I’m worried about your safety.”
“And I’m worried about yours.”
A slight hint of anger tried to crowd out the warm and fuzzy feelings. My natural instinct was to react, not think about what was said or why someone chose to say the words. I almost spouted off, but around him, I was learning what was important. “You’re doing everything in your power to protect me. If that means not enjoying your life or planning for the future, then you’re fine with that. Admirable, but not sustainable. You deserve all the happiness you’ve shown me.”
“I don’t know if that’s ever going to happen.”
Maybe I was hurt or maybe I was just confused at his flipflopping with his emotions, but my reaction wasn’t admirable in the least. Yet I didn’t want to cry in front of him. He didn’t deserve the burden of feeling my pain. He had his own to deal with.
I eased off the couch, eager to get some fresh air.
He snagged my arm, yanking me down. Without giving me time to react, he pushed my head back to the couch, stroking the side of my face and neck with his fingers. “Did I tell you that you could go anywhere, little butterfly? At least not right now. Do you honestly believe I want you to go anywhere?”
“I don’t know.”
“Well, I don’t. What we’re sharing is once in a lifetime. I’m not good with words, but that’s the way I feel. However, I will not risk your life under any circumstances.”
“I get it. I really do. I just think…” God, his eyes were so mesmerizing. Tonight was the first time I could swear I was looking right through the reflective window into his soul.
“That’s your real problem. You think too much, especially about what I’m saying. I’m not good at talking, sharing my feelings. But I know one thing. I don’t want you going anywhere. Not now. But I will make certain nothing happens to you no matter what that means.”
There was an aggressive need building in the man as he captured my mouth. Tonight wasn’t about romance other than the flames of the fire licking against the wood and the falling snow. As always happened around him, my mind was spinning out of control. I wanted to taste all of him, to feel something other than the darkness of fear and anxiety.
He slowly shifted his hand to the back of my neck, holding me as if letting me go would drain his life away. I craved his dark possessiveness, the intensity he brought to everything. The way he thrust his tongue inside my hot mouth ignited my core. I moved to my knees, straddling his legs, shocked that he let go of his hold.
As I cupped both sides of his face, I constantly ran my fingers through his beard in hopes of tickling him.
Hunter growled, the deep, husky sound sending another wave of chills through me. How was it two people who were so entirely different could find such passion by just kissing? I shifted my head back and forth, savoring not only the flavor of his lips, but the scent of his masculine abundance.
He was so all male, completely rough around the edges, but I’d had more than a single peek of his marshmallow center. However, the man could dominate me any time he wanted. Big he-man take cave woman was just fine by me.
As usual, he refused to give up any level of control, his tongue lashing against mine. The sounds reflected our pent-up desires. I’d never felt so alive or special in a man’s arms.
I curled my fingers in his hair, wiggling back and forth from the feel of his stiffening cock. I was the one who broke the kiss, still darting my tongue just past his lips for a few seconds. Teasing him relentlessly was fun. Watching him squirm was another pastime I was also good at. I shifted back to the edge of his knees, running my pinky from one side of his jaw to the other.
“I’m thirsty. I’m going for more wine.” I backed off his legs, fighting to keep from partaking in my usual clumsiness by tripping over the coffee table’s leg. I was a little surprised, a whole lot disappointed he didn’t try to stop me. In fact, there was no reflection of any emotion on his face. I snagged my empty glass, stopping just before walking in through the kitchen’s doorway.
His gaze was still locked on the fire.
Figuring him out could become more than a pastime. A lifetime endeavor. Why did I feel so inadequate at times? Bella would call me goofy. I called myself incapable of letting go. Yet I had around him. I chewed on my inner lip as I headed into the kitchen, realizing the plate of cheese we’d snacked on had been left out. After placing the glass on the counter, I snagged a piece of cheddar, hoping the small amount of food would calm my nerves.
He’d barely eaten a thing, constantly checking his phone or going to the window. I knew he expected that the driver had learned where he lived. That was why he’d kept his gun within reaching distance. I was no longer terrified of seeing the weapon. It provided an added sense of comfort to what Hunter was already providing.
I moved to the pantry, searching for Saran wrap or foil. There was no reason for my heart to be feeling as heavy as it was, but I couldn’t break free of the sense of foreboding. Finding the plastic wrap, I returned to the counter, yanking off a piece. The jalapeno jack cheese caught my eye. I snatched another piece, nibbling as I tried to cover the plate with one hand.
Feeling his presence was even more electrifying than ever.
“Should I start calling you a mouse?”
“Not if you want to live,” I told him. He spun me around before I could put an exclamation point on the snarky sentence. Because he did, acting like the beast I’d come to know and love, I shoved the half piece of cheese into his mouth. If Bella had told me after the first time I’d met Hunter he had a teasing side, I would have called her a liar.
Maybe he only allowed his guard to fall this way with me. He was holding the small piece of deliciousness in his teeth, lifting one eyebrow. My, oh my. The man could chastise me with a strange, silly look. I did one even better, rising onto my tiptoes and wrapping my lips around what was left of the cheese.
I didn’t try to rip the entire piece from his mouth. Nor did he do that with me. I pressed my palms against his chest, opening my mouth slightly. As our lips worked together, a warm feeling of closeness tickled my senses. Maybe I was wanted after all.
When the rugged man snagged the rest of the piece, I pulled back, laughing. “You’re so cute.”
“No one has called me cute,” he said while still chewing.
I pressed my index finger into his stomach. “You are.” I took a step away, swinging around and tossing my hair. My full intention had been to pour my wine, but he was having none of it.
“When are you going to learn you obey all my rules?”
“What rules are those?”
“That you can never get away from me.”