Chapter 21
CHAPTER 21
E sme
Emptiness.
As soon as I opened my eyes, I felt a sense of total and complete emptiness. All I needed to do was to turn my head to realize why.
Hunter wasn’t lying in bed next to me.
I’d stayed awake for as long as I could after he’d left, now loathing the fact I’d fallen asleep instead of making certain he was okay. The thought that maybe he’d gone through with what he’d considered tore at my heart.
I fought with the covers, nearly yanking them off the bed so I could rush down the stairs. Just before I raced from the room, I heard a noise. Was that water running? My heart remained in my throat as I turned to see the light on under the bathroom door.
For about a million reasons, tears formed in my eyes. I covered my face with my hands for a few seconds, thanking God that Hunter’s life had been spared. The nightmare had been terrible. His muttering had awakened me, but he’d screamed ‘no’ twice, I’d realized he was in severe pain. If only I knew how to handle what he was going through.
After sucking back my sadness, I considered going back to bed. I bit my lower lip. Did he want to be alone, or would he appreciate company? After the amazing sex the night before, I had a feeling he wouldn’t mind another round. Before I made my decision, I moved toward the window, peering outside. He’d been right. Unless he took me to work later, I doubted we could get my truck free, even with four-wheel drive.
The snow was deep, but that added to a moment of excitement. What was wrong with playing hooky just for a one day? I padded toward the door, doing everything I could to keep from making a single sound. Another moment of relief was right there when I saw his shape behind the frosted glass shower door.
With the shower being so large, it could easily accommodate two people for a long. Hot. Shower. Right? I opened the door, holding back a strangled sound from seeing his naked form in the water. His back was turned to me as he stood under one of two showerheads raking his hands through his soapy hair.
He must not have felt the rush of cold air as I slipped in behind him, yet I still quietly closed the door. Now I was able to see his many scars crisscrossing his back. Injuries from the war and his subsequent career. The moment I touched an obvious bullet hole, he stiffened and slowly wiped soap from his face before lowering his arms.
As he tipped his head over his shoulder, I was a tiny bit fearful he’d show signs of anger, but his expression was exactly the opposite.
“How many times have you been shot?” I encircled the wound with my index finger before moving to another scar. This one looked like a knife wound, the blade with jagged edges.
“Six. Give or take.”
“And knives?”
“A lot were received from my brothers or dad. We started training early.”
“Jesus Christ.”
“I never said my father was warm.” He turned around, immediately placing his arms around me. “My father believed the best way to make strong men was to force them to endure all the hardships he had as a child. When we lived on the ranch, we took care of the animals.”
“Well, at least that sounds fun and exciting.” I traced the thick cord in his neck as water splashed over both of us.
He laughed. “Remind me to have you work as a ranch hand in the next few weeks. You’ll learn it’s not so easy.” He purposely rolled his hand down the back of my head, adjusting the long strands before pulling me all the way under the water.
“Oh! You.”
“I figured you might as well get wet from the shower, little butterfly. Especially since the rest of you is soon to be wet as well.”
The strong man lifted me off my feet and I immediately wrapped my legs around his hips. There wasn’t the extreme need as before. Something quieter and softer had unfurled inside both of us. We kept our eyes locked on each other as he brushed his hands up and down my back.
I sensed there were so many things he wanted to say, but was fearful what I heard would turn me off.
Or push me away.
“I’ll always be here if you need a friend,” I said, even as I felt his throbbing cock pressed against my thighs.
With Hunter, I never knew what to expect, but he lifted his head and I lowered mine until our foreheads were touching.
“You mean the world to me, little butterfly. But I’m afraid of trapping you.”
“Maybe I want to be trapped. Did you ever think of that?” I lifted my head, once again searching for answers in his eyes. They held such darkness, such anger even though he’d done everything in his life to permanently padlock it away. Was that even possible for a man who’d endured years of an entirely different level of torture that I couldn’t understand?
“You know what they say. Be careful what you ask for.”
He lifted me slightly, easing his cockhead against my pussy. There was no rush, the urgency all about something else. This also wasn’t as much about physical need as it was emotional. Karma had brought us together for a reason. I dared the gods to let it be for a tragic one.
The man was everything I wanted, but more important, he was exactly what I needed.
Body and soul.
As he slipped his cock all the way inside, I slid my arms over his shoulders. The steam was rising as much as the internal heat, the sensations coursing through me perfect in every way. Yes, there was extreme electricity as I’d felt all along, but also so much more.
Hunter used his strong thigh muscles to pull out and slide in again. There was no roughness either. This was just about making love. And making memories. I clung to his shoulders, never taking my eyes off him as we continued, our passion exploding.
We had so much to say to each other, but this time the silence was about healing. Together. There was truly nothing so special as having him in my arms. Slowly as he continued, the sadness in his eyes began to dissipate.
As he brought me closer, cupping the back of my head, it was as if our hearts were beating as one. The joy was incredible, the moment one I’d consider special forever. He was giving me the small part of his heart that he felt he had left.
And I was giving him mine.
Maybe this wasn’t about love. Maybe we didn’t know each other well enough. But this felt right.
He brought his lips to mine, the kiss as sweet as the moment in time. As soon as he pressed his tongue into my mouth, every inch of my body began to quiver. I wrapped one hand around the back of his neck, the hopelessness that I’d experienced before disappearing. My system reacted, my core on fire, and within seconds, I was pulled into a feeling of utter bliss.
The orgasm was a sweeping wave, powering through me.
The man who was quickly nabbing the rest of my heart was capturing every moan as the moment of intimacy continued. Being set free was pure ecstasy. When I pushed away in my attempt to find enough air to fill my lungs, his smirk returned. Maybe I was as good for him as he was for me.
Hunter shifted me against the shower wall and I threw my arms up, smacking my hands on the tile. His momentum increased, his muscles straining. Being the brat and tease I was, I squeezed my muscles.
His face twisted, his muscles tightening and as he allowed himself an orgasm, I leaned my head against his chest.
I almost said the words that made no sense because I was terrified of loving him for fear of losing him.
“First your Harley. Now a ride on Sadie. Are you trying to kill me?” My question was playful, but I wasn’t entirely certain he was going to take it that way. I was in my jeans, but I was now wearing a tee shirt, sweater, and oversized sweatshirt belonging to him. With the extra parka he’d made me wear, I knew I looked like a huge water buffalo.
“Riding on Sadie second is a lot easier.” He grinned as he pulled a saddle from a holder in the barn.
“Speak for yourself, big man. And I look like a puffed-out version of myself.” Meanwhile, he looked debonaire in another pair of faded jeans and a turtleneck. I didn’t know men wore turtlenecks any longer, but it looked damn good on him. I threw out my arms, spinning around.
“You look spectacular.” He threw the heavy saddle onto the gorgeous horse and she didn’t budge. At least she’d greeted me fondly since I’d brought her one of the apples I’d bought for her.
“Not a chance.” It was still snowing outside, adding to the dozen or so inches that were already on the ground. I’d called into work, using a lame excuse for why I wasn’t coming into work. As if people didn’t already know I’d spent the night with one rugged mountain man.
Damn. I was missing his flannel.
I watched as he buckled the saddle, patting Sadie before walking toward me. “To me, you’d be hot in anything or nothing. You’re just missing the cap.” He yanked out a bright red stocking cap from his pocket, gently placing it on my head. “There. That’s perfect.”
“I don’t need a cap.”
“It’s snowing in case you haven’t noticed. Come on. Let’s get you onto Sadie’s back.”
“That’s what you said about the Harley and you saw how that turned out.”
Hunter stopped moving and I immediately walked toward him. “Oh, my God. I’m so sorry. You saved my life and I was so…”
“No, you don’t need to apologize. I was reckless with your life and I won’t do it again. Being on Sadie is different. She’ll care for both of us since I don’t do a good job myself. Remember to swing your leg over her back after grabbing my hand.” He hoisted himself up onto the saddle before reaching his arm out.
“I’m sorry, Hunter. Please. You weren’t reckless. I’m a big girl.”
His silence was worse than when I’d experienced it before. I took a deep breath, rubbing my fingers on Sadie before I offered him my hand. He pulled me up with ease.
“We won’t be gone for long. I wanted to show you something.”
I would never forgive myself for hurting him this way. Never.
He led Sadie from the barn, taking it nice and easy. The fear that had almost crippled me when riding the Harley was entirely different. While it felt awkward being high off the ground, the light snow falling and the breathtakingly beautiful scenery dragged some of the apprehension away.
Besides, we weren’t going that fast. Not that I minded being adventurous, as Hunter had discovered, but I did have a desire to live through the event. The thought made me smile and lift my head, sticking out my tongue so I could taste the icy flakes.
We trotted forward, Hunter taking his time making any headway.
“Having fun?” he asked as soon as he walked Sadie from the gate, turning toward the back of his property.
“This is amazing.” I managed to rub Sadie’s backside until a slight feeling of acrophobia took over. Hunter picked up the speed, but not so much as to possibly cause Sadie to trip. The one thing that I noticed more than the beautiful surroundings was how in tune he seemed with his horse.
He was barely guiding Sadie and she acted as if she knew exactly where they were going. Every minute or so, he said encouraging words to her in whispers. A nearly silent communication they shared together. It was a beautiful thing to see. So much so I remained quiet, snuggling with the powerful man as he made his way toward the bank of trees.
I hadn’t noticed there was a path cut through the large evergreens, the pine trees lined up in a row to accentuate the location of the pass through. The snow seemed deeper, the wind likely causing drifts, and the trees blocking their path.
It was magical in a way I’d never experienced. The snow had been beautiful when freshly fallen in Baltimore, but city life quickly made it seem dirty and unwanted. This was different. This was a special place, a fresh breath of nature few ever allowed themselves to enjoy.
I was more content than I’d been in a long time as he continued guiding us to whatever location he wanted me to see.
“How far is this special place?” I asked a few minutes into the ride.
“Less than a mile from here.”
“On your property?”
He chuckled. “I didn’t know it was at first, but Pops made certain the houses he chose to keep in the family had a minimum of fifteen to twenty acres. This property has the most. He specifically selected each location for his kids. It was spelled out in the contract he had us sign.”
“A contract.” Sadie whinnied, tossing her head as if she’d heard this story more than once.
“Believe it or not. We’re required to stay here and maintain ownership for a minimum of one year. After that point we can sell or divide it as we see fit.”
“The resort is needed by the townsfolk.”
“Maybe so, but I never expected or wanted to own a hotel and winery.”
“Does that mean you’re going to sell it? Likely to some land developer who’ll tear down the buildings, using the property for ugly condominiums where there are rules out the yin-yang for the owners and renters? Do you have any idea how many jobs will be lost? I might not have been here long, but I can see the amazing aftereffects your father started and he honored you and the town with keeping his legacy going. Can’t you see that? Can’t you see how important the resort is? It’s a gathering place. A location for celebrations and holidays. It’s a safe place you can bring an entire family to without fear of being accosted. And it’s absolutely the most stunning place I’ve been to in my life. How could you do that? How?”
Hunter said nothing after my burst of energy, a soliloquy that was overstepping my bounds, but I was a bit hot at the thought of him and his brothers just selling the place outright.
“Are you finished now?” There was a hint of amusement in his tone.
“No. I was in Poppy’s Diner the other day and I overheard two ladies talking about the fact they’d be homeless if your dad hadn’t taken a chance on them, giving them a job. They have a little house now. They can feed their kids. I mean come on. How could you be so arrogant and greedy?”
He was shaking his head at this point. “Now are you finished?”
I grumbled under my breath. “No. One last thing. Whether you want to believe it or not and God knows, I can’t tell if you care, but being here for the months you and your brothers have brought you closer together. Do you want to go back to being lonely? Living alone for the rest of your life? Do you want to miss out on some of the best times the three of you might share together? If that’s what you and your brothers are thinking, then you’re all fucking selfish!”
I ended my points with a real exclamation. Even Sadie seemed to appreciate what I’d said, snorting and pawing the ground since her master had slowed down.
“Can I speak now?” he asked as he pushed Sadie to continue.
“Sure. As long as you’re not an asshole.”
He was chuckling again. Was the man making fun of me because I gave a damn?
“First of all, woman. Did anyone ever tell you that you talk too much?”
I opened my mouth twice before I formulated a response. Of sorts. “Yes. A few times. Okay? Happy now?”
“Well, not only do I think your outbursts are adorable, I admire your conviction. To the land. To the town. To the people. And to me and my brothers. Very few people in my life have given a damn about anything but their world. Their needs. Their issues.”
I squeezed him, trying to think of something to add at this point. “It’s important for you to be here.”
“I know it is. I have no plans on leaving and I won’t be a part of selling this property to a shyster land developer who’d raid the property for trees, which would take away the natural home for so much of the wildlife. My brothers feel the same. Now, I have two questions for you. It’s only fair.”
“Okay. Fine. What are they?”
“Do you plan on staying, and during your condemnation of me, did you bother looking out to about twenty feet in front of us?”
Oh, shit. I felt like a chump. “Yes, I want to stay, but only if there is a reason.”
“The job isn’t a good enough one? You’re going to jet off to New York or maybe Paris so you can better highlight your exemplary culinary skills?”
“No. I thought about it, but being here is… Anyway, I also want to ensure I have other reasons for being here. Maybe I’ll take up rock climbing.” You bet I was leading him into expressing his feelings. After last night and this morning, the closeness we felt together, I wanted to know where we might stand in the future.
“I get it. Now, what about looking right in front of your eyes?”
I realized he’d stopped Sadie and lifted my head. “Oh, my God.” I wasn’t certain there was a more beautiful sight anywhere in the world.
He slid off Sadie’s back, helping me down. My feet sank into the snow, but there were small ice crystals covering the fresh, perfectly white terrain. Directly in front were the mountains, the very peaks hidden by snow fog. There was also a river, the water still tumbling over large rocks. The sound was sweeter than any music I could imagine. The scene was gorgeous, fresh out of a Hallmark movie.
I rubbed my hand on Sadie’s side as I trudged forward, taking careful steps so as to not disturb the incredible beauty. I sensed he was right behind me, allowing me to soak up the atmosphere. When I was almost to the bank’s edge, I threw my arms out. “This is amazing.”
My louder voice echoed and if I didn’t know any better, I’d say there was no one else around us within hundreds of miles.
“This is a special place to me as well,” Hunter said from beside me. “I think I know why my dad chose this site for me.”
“Why?”
“When I was a kid, if I knew I’d done something wrong, I’d sneak out of the house. There was a river similar to this one in Montana. I’d go there to sulk and hide. After the second time, my subconscious obviously knew he’d find me. He never destroyed the peaceful moment. He learned the best thing to do was to sit down beside me. That’s where he’d talk to me. Really talk. It was the only time he did so. He’d learn why I’d misbehaved and tried to explain to me why breaking the rules was bad or could hurt me. I learned more during those times than all the rest of the conversations and hateful discussions we had.”
“That’s amazing.”
He nodded and turned toward me. “Now, hear me, lady. I don’t want you going anywhere, accepting some glorious job in the Big Apple. Not because of the resort or the fact the people in town love you. Not even because you fit in here as if you were born to live in this town.”
“Then why?” I lifted my head as he crowded my space. “Why, Hunter?”
The way he wrapped his arms around me was different. “Because I think I’m falling in love with you.”
I was in a quiet moment of limbo hearing his words. He wasn’t the kind of man to say anything he didn’t mean or hadn’t thought about. That was just who he was. I fisted his jacket from behind, lifting my head. Tiny flakes of snow still washed down over us, a silent veil of emotions that would always be remembered. “I feel the same.”
He took a deep breath and the way he slowly shook his head was more riveting than any moment we’d shared. As he kissed me, I arched my back. I was falling not only due to the private, precious statement of our feelings, but also the man himself.
The way he slipped his tongue inside set my world on fire. Even Sadie understood the powerful meaning, her little snorts and whinnying adding sunshine to the gray and cold day. There was nowhere else on earth I’d rather be than right here.
Right now.
The embrace was warming, gentle, and everything I’d want after such an emotional statement. When he shifted away, he smiled in his loopy way, his eyes twinkling more than I’d seen before. He kissed my nose and I laughed. When he pulled back, we both returned our gaze to the wonders of Mother Nature.
Yet out of the corner of my eye, I noticed something that seemed out of place. A series of brutally cold shivers drifted down my spine. I leaned forward, trying to determine if the slight snow fog was distorting my view.
“What’s wrong?” he asked, slowly following my gaze.
“Is there something out there? I mean someone?”
Hunter turned completely, staring at the same location just inside the bank of trees maybe a hundred yards away.
Without reacting, he spoke, his voice low and husky. “Listen to me. Stay right here with Sadie. Do not, and I’ll repeat, do not follow me. I just want to check this out.”
“What’s going on, Hunter? Do you think that’s the person in the truck?”
“I don’t know, but I’m going to find out. Just stay here.”
As he unbuttoned his jacket, I knew what he was reaching for. His weapon.
I stood frozen as he took off, running faster in the deep snow than I thought possible. Sadie’s rein hadn’t been tied to anything and she slowly advanced, her noises were a clear indication she knew something was very wrong.
The second chill sweeping through my body had nothing to do with the weather. I folded my arms, surprised that the figure remained right where they were.
Watching us.
Tracking us.
I started trudging through the snow, mindful I was disobeying him, but terrified the person was the same person who’d disabled Hunter’s vehicle. He continued running, heading directly toward the stranger.
Seeing no movement, I was beginning to think my brain was playing tricks on me and the figure was a tree.
Until the tree started running.
Horrified, I reacted without thinking, doing my best to trudge through the snow. I did what I could to keep Hunter in sight.
When he raced into the trees, I started to cry after him. There was nothing but air lifting from my lungs.
Sadie was suddenly there beside me. I couldn’t see Hunter any longer, his dark gray jacket slipping into the thick forest and disappearing. Frantic, I tried to think about what I could do to help.
As Sadie nudged me, I shook my head. “I can’t ride you, baby girl. I don’t have the skills.”
Pop!
The single gunshot didn’t shake Sadie in the least, but I was instantly on edge, shaking like a leaf. My voice found me. “No. No!”
The horse finally whinnied, the strangled sound matching the rapid thumping of my heart. What if he was dead? What if he was lying in a pool of blood? There was no other choice. I struggled hard, almost falling once before being able to swing my leg over her back and onto the saddle.
“Stay with me, baby girl. I have no clue what I’m doing.” I gripped her reins with fisted fingers, trying desperately to breath normally in the frigid air. The terror was gripping, every muscle aching even as a rush of adrenaline flowed continuously.
Sadie didn’t need me to guide her, the horse instinctively searching for her master.
As soon as we were just inside the thick trees, I did what I could to slow down her progress, trying to listen for any sounds.
Pop! Pop!
This time, the gunshots spooked Sadie. She reared up, her howling whinnying as terrifying as the fact I almost slipped off. With the reins now in a death grip, I gasped for air. Ascertaining from which way the sound had come from was next to impossible. Everything was echoing in the eerie silence.
I rubbed Sadie’s neck, leaning over and whispering in her ear. “It’s okay, baby. We’ll find him. Just relax for me.” I had no way of knowing if she understood, but she did seem calmer after my comforting her. I pressed my knees into her sides. There was no way of knowing if having binge-watched Yellowstone would help me here. But she reacted, once again trudging through the snow.
It was so quiet, not a single sound.
Pop!
This time the shot not only echoed in the air scaring me to death, but the birds also reacted, squawking as they flew straight up in the sky. My mind was working overtime. I could swear I smelled death in the air. The horrible thought pushed me to continue when it should force me to turn back.
Sadie picked up speed without me prompting, somehow managing to navigate the thick snow. The tiny flakes had suddenly become blinding, several sticking to my eyelashes. My teeth were chattering, the chill becoming as layered as the clothes I was wearing. I wondered if I’d ever feel warm again.
“Hunt-er!” I called, trying my best to slow Sadie down. The ride felt out of control, the horse determined to find her master.
Every nerve was on edge as I scanned the perimeter, my heavy breath creating another layer of fog. He was hurt. I felt it in my bones.
A lone figure stepped out from behind a tree, the continuing snowfall and the dim lighting caused by the heavy tree canopy shadowing the figure.
Sadie snorted and jerked to a halt. Did horses smell danger? Could they easily detect it if something terrible was about to happen?
I was convinced I was about to die when the figure started jogging in my direction. Four seconds in and I realized it was Hunter.
There was no sense of grace left in me as I clamored to climb off Sadie’s back. I didn’t care if I fell into the snow or looked ridiculous. Nothing would keep me from getting to him.
As I rushed forward, I drew in a deep breath, instantly comforted by the lingering fragrance of the musky aftershave he’d used. It was proof he was really alive.
“Hunter.” I was certain he’d be furious with me for following him and judging by his expression, I was right.
Yet as he tumbled forward, yanking me into his arms, I sensed a change in him, an awakening that scared me more than any harsh words or agitated actions.
He wanted revenge and there was nothing I could do to stop him.