Chapter Thirty-One
Hunter
I can’t stop stealing glances at her when I’m supposed to be driving. Every time I catch myself, I peel my eyes away; every time I take my eyes off her, they’re drawn right back. I keep asking myself: is this real?
It can’t be, right? Men like me don’t get women like her.
It wasn’t just fucking her in the parking lot that has me feeling this way, though I’m getting hard again even as we drive. It was seeing this different side of her, the side that isn’t the straight-laced student and babysitter, but instead will throw a punch sticking up for her friend, even if it’s against a cop. She’s tougher than I thought, she’s proved that, and maybe I don’t need to worry so much about bringing her into my world even more than she already is; I don’t need to shelter her so much from the MC lifestyle… though there are still some things I can’t tell her about yet.
“I want to talk to you about something,” I say. My voice comes out slow, hesitant. Opening up like this isn’t easy. I don’t have a lot of practice at it. Living alone, wandering, keeping my attachments to nothing but the short term, except for those rare few people like Diesel and Tank that I’d dare to call friends, there’s only a handful of people I’ve ever let in, and some of them, like Tyler and Kate, are dead. “It’s important.”
She looks at me for a moment. It’s a guarded, but kind, look, and then she keeps her eyes forward, as if she knows this isn’t easy for me and she doesn’t want to push. “What is it?”
We reach the driveway to the house and I put the truck in park, but leave the engine idling. I turn in the seat and make eye contact. It’d be so easy to just give up the idea of telling her even a part of my truth, just give myself over to the soft greens that sit above her cute nose, but it’d be more of a crime than anything I’ve done; I can’t feel the way I do about her and keep her completely in the dark. It’d be wrong, and, even worth, it’d put her at risk. I’ve failed the people I love once before. I refuse to do it again.
“There are things you need to know about me, Emily. They might be hard to hear, but I’m asking you to listen until the end.”
She reaches for me, her hand stopping halfway to rest upon the seat between us. “I’m ready.”
I take hers, hold it. “You sure?”
“I’m sure. And I’m sure of us.”
A breath precedes everything I have to say. Slow, sure, guarded. “I have a past. And it goes deeper and darker than just some speeding tickets or spending an overnight in a city lockup. Some things I’ve done, I’m not proud of; some things I’ve done, I’m very proud of.”
I pause, and in that pause, she speaks. “Proud?”
"I am.” I nod. “I’ve worn two uniforms in my life — as an Army Ranger and a biker. I’ve done stuff in both uniforms that keeps me up, and stuff that will make me puff my chest out until the day I die. I’m telling you all this because I’m trying to join the local MC, the Twisted Devils, and that means my life could get dangerous. You deserve to know that, because not knowing could mean you get hurt, and I’ve seen what happens to people who don’t know what they’re getting into,” I say. I pause, barely hiding a hitch in my voice as I think of my brother. For a second, a flash of anger goes through me — how the fuck could you be so lax, Tyler? How the fuck could you butt heads with someone like Victor Moretti and not have your guard up? — and I realize it’s the first time I’ve felt anything other than that base, primal desire to get Charlie to safety when I think about my brother’s death.
I breathe again. It hitches this time.
Emily squeezes my hand. “Hunter?”
“My brother was an idiot,” I say. “A real fucking idiot.”
Time passes, she doesn’t speak, she just waits, listening.
“He should’ve known better, Emily. Tyler… he got mixed up with some guys you don’t mess around with. Not by his choice — they wanted something from him and he told them to back off — but he didn’t take precautions. These are the type of people you don’t turn your back on, and he didn’t just turn his back. He shut his eyes and plugged his ears, too. I can’t believe he did it. I can’t believe he’d be so fucking stupid. Every time I think about it, I just feel like…” My voice shakes, with rage, with pain, with everything I’ve been keeping at bay ever since I found him dead on the floor. “Tyler had people depending on him. A wife. A son.”
She’s too smart. It’s one thing I like about her most; she understands, even without me saying it. As if I could. Voicing even a part of how I feel about Tyler’s death doesn’t just have my voice shaking, the rest of me shakes, too.
I run the back of my hand across my eyes, and see her looking back at me with wonder and an emotion even deeper than that. One that I doubt I’ll ever feel worthy of, but never not feel grateful for.
“Charlie?”
I nod. “Charlie.”
Her eyes widen. They could drink my entire world. “You took him in? You’re his uncle?”
“I found Tyler dead. His wife, too. I’d never met him before that moment, but when I heard him crying and all alone… I knew how he felt. He needed someone about as much as I needed him. Ever since that day, he’s kept me grounded, given me something to work toward. Never thought I’d say that about suddenly having a baby in my life, but I love the little man.”
Emily's grip on my hand tightens, her eyes shimmering with unshed tears. "Hunter, I... I had no idea. I'm so sorry about your brother and his wife. That must have been devastating."
I nod, swallowing hard. "It was. Still is. But Charlie... he's given me a purpose. A reason to keep going, to be better."
She leans in closer, her free hand coming up to cup my cheek. "You're an amazing man, Hunter. Taking in Charlie, giving him a home, a family... that's incredible."
Her touch is soft, comforting, and I lean into it. "I'm trying. Every day, I'm trying to be what he needs."
"And you are," she says firmly. "I've seen you with him. He’s lucky to have a family like you, and he adores you."
I close my eyes for a moment, letting her words wash over me. When I open them again, I meet her gaze. "Emily, I need you to understand what being involved with me might mean. The MC life... it's not always safe. There are risks, dangers, I can't promise that'll never touch you. But I can promise that I will do everything to protect you. If that’s too much for you, you can walk away and I’ll understand. I’ve seen too many people I care about get hurt, and you are the last person I would want that to happen to."
She squeezes my hand again and smiles. “I understand. And I’m still here.” After a moment, she leans in to kiss my cheek. Then whisper in my ear. “You’re not getting rid of me that easy, Hunter. I know who you are, deep down, and that’s what I want.” Another kiss, this time on my lips. Her soft greens swallow me, and I can’t help but steal a few more tastes of her lips. “Now, I believe you mentioned something about us getting a shower?”
Impulsively, she seizes my hand and, smiling brightly, she opens the door to the truck and pulls me after her.
I let her pull me along.
There isn’t nowhere I wouldn’t go or nothing I wouldn’t do to be with this woman.
And taking a shower with her? Yeah, that’s a small price to pay.
We go into the house and to the bathroom, and with a few turns, she has steaming hot water spraying. With ease, she undresses and steps into the water. It cascades down her curvy body, leaving me breathless at the sight, my heart thudding in my chest like it wants to crack free of my ribs and lay down at her feet.
“Something wrong, Hunter?” She says, grinning. “Or do you just want to stand there staring?”
In a teasing way, she washes herself, smiling from ear to ear as her hands slowly soap and scrub her luscious body.
I clear my throat. Once, then again, trying to put the words together in a new way, a way that I’ve never put them together before. I’ve faced down death, been thrown into combat with no odds of survival, but here I am, disarmed by this smiling young woman.
“There’s something else I need to tell you.”
“Oh, what’s that?”
I take a deep breath, struggling to find the right words. This is harder than admitting my past or talking about Charlie. My hands shake slightly as I undress.
But as hard as it is, I need to say it. I’ve learned the hard way you can’t hold these things back, because you never know when you might lose the people you care about.
"Emily, I... I think I'm falling in love with you."