Chapter 13
There’s so much blood.
So many times over the course of my marriage I imagined somebody coming to save me. Back before I knew that I could simply save myself. I had pictured somebody swooping in and giving Billy what he deserved. And he does deserve it. However, wishing for it and actually seeing it happen in front of my eyes are two fully separate things. Nikolai came out of nowhere like he was sent from heaven itself to save me right in my moment of need.
I don’t know what I would have done without him.
And I don’t know how I’m going to ever get the image of Billy’s broken and battered face out of my mind. I never imagined it like this. Every time I blink, his face is there. He’s still outside. He’s just lying there on the grass. We should call somebody. We should do something. Panic is settling in. I have to start packing. I have to gather up all of our stuff and leave now while he’s unconscious. We aren’t safe here anymore.
“Shh, it’s going to be okay. I’m here now.” Nikolai mutters into my hair.
I don’t think I fully realized just how badly I needed to hear those exact words until I heard them.
“Nothing is going to happen to you while I’m here, Kate, I promise.” Nikolai reassures me while smoothing down my hair on the back of my head and cradling me into his broad chest. He smells so good. Oaky and comforting.
I think my hands are shaking - or is my whole body shaking? I can’t seem to make it stop. I try to push away from him - this is wholly indecent, but I just can’t seem to manage it. I can’t think properly. Everything is panic and I just can’t shake it. “I think I’m going into shock…” I hold my hands out in front of me and I can’t stop the trembling.
Nikolai scoops me up like I weigh nothing and carries me over to the couch and sits me down. He leaves my side for only a moment and I swear that as soon as he’s no longer in my sight, my anxiety spikes.
He comes back with a steaming cup of tea that he helps me cup in my hands.
The warmth helps, but not as much as I would like. I can’t tear my eyes from him as he squats down in front of me. Nikolai’s covered in blood. Billy’s blood. His knuckles are swollen and his hands are going to be useless tomorrow if he doesn’t take care of them soon. Such a strange thing to be focused on. He should wash up. Yet, he’s sitting in front of me like he’s so accustomed to wearing blood that he doesn’t even notice the metallic stench filling the space between us.
Am I going to be sick?
Nikolai likely is used to that sort of thing, given the life that he led before I met him.
The look on his face is purely concerned for me, and nothing else. I can see it in the openness of his expression. If I weren’t so freaked out then I would think it was terribly touching. The tea falls out of my hands and soaks into the cheap carpet. If the hot liquid splashed Nikolai, he makes no note of it at all. I throw my arms around his neck and hug him tightly. He’s just so solid and real that it makes the rattling pieces of my chest finally sit still. The trembling slowly subsides and Nikolai just lets me hug him. His arms wrap loosely around me and it doesn’t even occur to me to be embarrassed about what I’m wearing or the fact that it’s far from ‘sexy’ attire.
“How can I help you?” Nikolai asks without letting me go. I can’t explain it but I have the very distinct feeling that he would let me stay here in his arms for as long as I need to. Would he hold me all night if I asked him to?
I want him to stay, but I don’t know how to ask him.
The feeling of safety that he has brought with him isn’t something that I can easily put into words. My fingers twine into his short hair and hold there, clinging to him. I will let him go. I just need another moment with the strength that he provides.
“Can you…” I just can’t bring myself to do it. I can’t ask him. He’s practically a stranger. I have no idea how he got here or what he was doing but right now I just don’t care. Who knows how tonight would have ended if he hadn’t been here to save me. I literally shudder at the thought. But that doesn’t mean that I can ask him to stay. He doesn’t owe me anything. We served our purposes to one another. He made that perfectly clear when he disappeared earlier without so much as a backward glance for me.
“I could stay, if you wanted?” Nikolai offers when I don’t say anything.
It’s like he’s reading my mind.
“Could you?” I say a touch too quickly. “It’s just… if he comes back…”
I should let go of him.
It’s hard to make my arms release him. It was so easy to fit myself into his chest like I just belong there.
“Sure, I’ll just stay here on the sofa in case?” Nikolai offers as his large hands rub up and down my arms.
I should let him. That’s a perfectly reasonable offer. But… it’s not what I want.
My focus drifts to the floor. Normally, I have no problem making the first move. I’m all for being forward when the situation calls for it. I must be more shaken up than I originally assumed. “Liz and I sleep down the hall… what if you’re too far away to hear anything happening?”
Nikolai’s hands pause, only for a moment. He must see right through my shitty excuse. Slowly, my eyes lift from the floor and take him in properly. Besides, he’s going to need to get all cleaned up.
“Get cleaned up… then my bed is more than big enough for the two of us?” I’m sure that I have something upstairs that he can wear. Hell, the shirt that I’m wearing now is more than big enough for somebody his size.
“Are you sure?” Nikolai asks, confirming that I mean what he thinks I do.
It’s probably a mistake but I highly doubt that I’m going to doubt my choice come morning.
The moment I nod my consent, Nikolai scoops me up again and starts to carry me through the house like he owns the place. Certainly took no time in making himself nice and comfortable. It’s funny in a way. I don’t even have time to question how he knows the right bedroom to go into as he nudges the door open quietly with his toe and closes it with a gentle backward kick until it clicks into place. Only then does he set me back on my feet. I could get used to being carried around like that.
“Do- um, do you want to shower first?” I point toward the ensuite bathroom absently.
Geeze. Who is this shy girl? Get a grip!
Nikolai smirks and nods. Then he pulls off his shirt over his head with one hand in a gesture that’s effortlessly sexy. The sight of his bare chest takes my breath away for more than one reason. One, the abundance of tattoos and scars covering his whole torso. The other is the fresh bruises and contusions that he said nothing about from being in prison. I lift a hand and my fingertips brush against the muscled skin there. He covers my hand with his own and smirks like it’s just another day for him.
“You should see the other guy,” He teases.
I got him out just in time. I knew that my hunches were right.
“Really.” Nikolai says as he curls a finger under my chin and lifts my face to look at him in the eye. “It’s nothing. I’ve had plenty worse.”
I’m sure that’s true… but it doesn’t make me feel any better about it.
“I’ll find you something to wear then.” I mutter lamely and drop my hand.
Nikolai chuckles - it’s a wonderful sound. Rich and full as he shrugs a shoulder. “Not that I mind your concern. Touch all you like.”
My face heats. I must be blushing like a fool as I turn my back on him. The sounds of water starting up in the bathroom follow shortly after as he must be getting the blood off of him. I should be ashamed of the fact that he almost looked… sexy with all of the blood on him. Someday, I should look into therapy.
I rummage through my drawers for another loose shirt. Well, it won’t be loose on Nikolai’s hulking frame. Other than squeezing into some of my yoga pants… the best I can find is some shorts that aren’t going to leave very much to the imagination.
Hell, maybe I should just let him wear the towel that he’s going to come out here in. I can just picture it now - Nikolai’s large, perfectly muscled frame dripping with water so that his skin is practically glistening. Towel slung low on his hips as he holds it closed with one hand. I can picture it. Better yet, he could come out here wholly and utterly naked as he uses the towel to dry his hair.
I nearly drool over myself.
Pull yourself together, Kate.
Holding my oversized t-shirt and loose shorts to my chest I allow myself to indulge in the fantasy of what I imagine the other half of Nikolai might look like naked. So distracted by the image, in fact, that I almost don’t register the very real, actual, Nikolai coming into my bedroom like a damned Greek statue with the towel around his waist.
It’s every bit as attractive as I thought that it was going to be.
I roll back through my feet to stand and shove the oversized clothes at Nikolai quickly as I rush past him into the still steamy bathroom while I mutter some sort of nonsensical sounds in his direction. I slam the bathroom door shut so hard that I almost startle myself.
I bend over the bathroom counter, letting the cool marble press against my face as I try to collect myself. He’s going to see how embarrassed I am. It’s not a good look for me. He’s just here to help me out, after all. Isn’t he?
I have to handle this. Now.
I strip quickly and turn on the shower. I take a few moments to let the water get nice and heated before stepping under the normally relaxing spray. It’s not going to be enough to properly relax me. Not after tonight. I already have so much that I need to handle come morning.
But thanks to Nikolai, I have the time to wait until morning. I don’t have to do it right now. He’s here. He’s going to keep us safe, no matter what. I can’t remember the last time that I actually went to sleep and felt safe. I’ve been waking up every few hours since leaving Billy. I always have to mad dash to check on Liz in the middle of the night. But with Nikolai here? I can’t imagine that anybody wouldn’t be scared of him coming after them down a darkened hallway.
Maybe that’s what finally settles my mind enough to sit down on the floor of the shower. My hands roam over my body, relishing the feeling of actually being alive and not in a constant state of fear. When was the last time that I even showered without having to have all the doors open?
Nikolai’s here.
As I wash up, I tell myself that he’s got things handled, no matter what, even as my hand dips between my legs. The water is going to drown out any sounds that I might make anyway. I can relax - just a little bit. Besides, seeing Nikolai half naked was more than I was prepared for at a time like this.
My breathing quickens as my fingers move in the same comfortable patterns that I always know will get me off quickly. I can’t even begin to imagine what it might be like if Nikolai was the one in here, doing this for me. Would he take his time? He would know all of the right places to touch a woman. I know that for sure. Billy never made me cum - but Nikolai? I’m sure he’s the kind of man that makes sure his woman cums before he does. He would make it a point of pride.
In my mind’s eye, he’s talking me through it. That husky, accented voice in my ear just like it had been earlier. His lips against the shell of my ear as he coaxes me higher. My fingers move in accordance to the version of Nikolai inside my mind as I push closer to my climax. My head falls back against the shower wall as my eyes drift shut. My back arches as my toes point, flexing my calves as I get closer still.
I don’t even realize that Nikolai’s name tumbles out of my lips.
Nikolai
I don’t think Kate realizes that when she attempted to slam the bathroom door shut, that the thing actually bounced in place. It’s sitting there, cracked open and wafting curls of steam into her bedroom. I can’t help but notice that there aren’t any of the usual personal touches in this room that I might expect of a woman’s bedroom. It’s like she’s set everything up like a staged home. Basic furniture and no frills - ready to run at a moment”s notice. I recognize it well.
My own mother used to tell me never to bother unpacking my suitcase as we spent a year drifting from one motel to the next. That man choking on his own blood outside is the reason that Kate lives like this. The way that I made Anya live. Helena before that. I recognize the irony of beating the hell out of that man.
He’s now a loose end that I need to handle.
Just a short amount of time ago I would have called Horus to come and dispose of the body.
I’ll have to discreetly slip outside and handle things after Kate’s asleep. I vowed to stay here and keep her safe, and that’s exactly what I’m going to do. She’s going to sleep a hell of a lot easier once he’s six feet under. Not that the prick deserves a proper burial.
Still wearing my towel, I sit on the edge of her bed with the clothes that she slammed into my chest on her way into the bathroom. I won’t be the reason that yet another woman lives like this again. I can blame it on my father’s genetics all that I want - but I have to do better. Kate makes me want to do better.
It’s the very least that somebody like her deserves. She’s had to be strong for so long and now I need to be the one to give her some peace. She’s more than earned it. Besides, maybe I want to be the person that she runs to. It will be something new for me. I have always been the one doing the chasing. I want to know what that feels like.
“Nikolai!”
“Kate?” Did she call me? My ears perk up as I focus back on the cracked bathroom door. I should have pulled it closed and given her a touch more privacy. Does she need help? Perhaps the adrenaline is starting to wear off and she’s starting to drop. It’s a bitch of a feeling to have the rush just ripped away from you like that. Hell, what if she is passing out? I stand and head for the bathroom. I have my hand on the handle when it comes again - my name on her lips like she’s breathless. Whatever it is, she’s just going to have to forgive the intrusion as I burst into the bathroom.
Kate is sitting with her legs splayed on the shower floor, her fingers buried inside of herself and her face flushed red as I catch her in the act - thinking of me while she is doing it, apparently. It awakens something carnal inside of me to see her eyes wide and wild as she looks up at me. She starts to close her legs, frozen and likely embarrassed - but that’s the very last thing that I want her to do.
“Don’t stop on my account.” My voice sounds low even to my ears.
Kate’s eyes are wild as she waits for instruction or to bolt. Her hands frozen between her perfect thighs and I would rather die than keep her from finishing. I slowly squat down in front of where she’s seated.
“Keep going.” I command. I don’t break eye contact with her as she swallows back her embarrassment. Watching her expression shift from embarrassment to excitement and owning her sexuality is magical. Her gaze darkens as her chin lowers.
“Do it for me.” She answers. It’s a challenge and one that I’m only too happy to meet.
“Earn it.”
For a moment, I think she’s going to back down. She’s not going to surrender control easily. I wouldn’t have it any other way. I’m not the sort of man who’s just going to surrender to what she wants so easily either. If she wants me to touch her, then she needs to earn it. She almost got my hands for free once, and she turned them down. Now she needs to prove that she deserves them.
Her hand starts to move slowly. The pads of her fingers circle her clit in tentative motions as her posture softens. Her other hand roams over her breast, rolling her ripple between her fingers and just like that I’m painfully hard. My hands ache to touch her. I want her in my arms. Hell, I want her splayed out beneath me. Better yet, I want to have my face buried right between those thighs where her hand is.
Patience.
Harder to remind myself as her head falls back, starting to gain confidence. Her fingers dip lower, delving inside of her and pumping slowly as she pulls her nipple taut. Then back to her clit as her feet arch and the muscles of her pretty calves start to flex.
“Eyes on me.” I command firmly enough that she doesn’t even think about obeying. She wants to surrender so badly to me, I can see it. Her soft whimpers of pleasure grow louder from just the subtle nudges. “Harder.”
She knows that I mean her nipple and she pinches so hard that she actually yelps in pain. I swear it’s hard for me to sit here but damned if she isn’t the sexiest fucking thing that I’ve ever seen. Her wet hair falling round her as water sluices off of her perfect tanned skin in little rivers between her breasts.
“I’m not going to wait all night. If you want me, baby girl, then you need to cum quickly.” The corner of my lip twists upward in a smirk as she dips her chin in the slightest nod. “You want that, don’t you? I bet you’ve imagined me fucking you every night since we met, haven’t you? Pictured me bending you over that metal table in the prison, didn’t you, dirty girl?”
Her eyes roll into the back of her head, she’s moving faster now. Her breathing is labored as she tries to nod her answer.
“Say it. Say you want me to fuck you, Kate. You were picturing my hands this whole time, weren’t you?” I tease. I want to move in there with her. I want one hand in that pretty little pussy and the other around her neck. I want her writhing under my touch until she can’t see straight. I want to turn her legs to jelly and by damn I’m going to.
“Yes!” Kate gasps, her pleasure rising.
“Yes, what?”
“I want you to fuck me!” Kate gasps as her eyes snap open and lock onto mine, nearly taking my breath away.
“Then you better cum for me, baby girl. You better cum for me on those pretty fingers right the fuck now.” I rise to stand and move into the shower with her, just out of the spray as I place a hand on the towel that I’m wearing in promise of what’s to come if she does as she’s asked. A hard reward just inches from her face as her moans of pleasure have precum already leaking from the damned tip of my cock.
“I’m gunna cum,” She moans, her eyes never leaving me. “I’m gunna- Nikolai-”
Fuck if she says my name like that again I don’t know what I’m going to fucking do.
I see her orgasm just seconds before it hits her, her moan cut off in her throat as her body tenses. I cannot wait to feel those waves of pleasure on my cock. She shudders and her legs tremble just as I slip my fingers into her hair, cupping the back of her head and keeping her eyes on me.
“Fuck that was sexy, baby girl.” I say as my fingers close into her hair, fisting tightly around the wet strands and anchoring her to reality instead of letting her drift off into the bliss of her post orgasm glow. “Such a good girl.”
I let the towel drop and move closer to her - I swear her mouth fucking waters. She lifts herself up onto her knees as her tongue sticks out, waiting for my cock like the most perfect, obedient woman that I’ve ever seen in my fucking life. She needs to stop being so fucking perfect right now or I’m going to make a damned fool of myself.
“Please, Nikolai.” She damn near whimpers when I don’t give her enough room to move her mouth to my cock. She’s pulling her own hair with my hand as an anchor. “Please.”
“Wrap your perfect lips around my cock, baby girl, go ahead.” I say with a smirk.
She tries. My god she tries, but the grip that I have in her hair is too tight. She can’t make it. Her tongue strains for the tip, her hands on the back of my thighs attempting to pull me closer to her so that she can have what she wants. I think her little sounds of frustration are what do me in - I relent and I swear I feel the back of her throat in one go.
Nirvana. Bliss. Absolute utter perfection.
My head falls back and the grip that I have on her hair slackens just a little as my mind stutters. Something that Kate capitalizes on as my groan of pleasure fills the small room. Her tongue swirls around the bottom of my cock, licking as far up the shaft as she can reach and I lose it.
In one movement I have her lifted into my arms and up against the shower wall. She wraps her legs around my hips, my cock just underneath her dripping pussy.
She nods softly as she makes eye contact and I sink into her in one solid thrust as her lips find mine.
It’s not nearly as drawn out as I would like for it to be. I have had so many nights to plan how this will go in my head. All of the things that I want to do to her, but I underestimated just how fucking incredible she was going to feel wrapped around me. All rational thought slips right from my head. I’m no longer cognizant as we move together, her mounting sounds of pleasure growing between us, barely covered by the strong spray of water from the shower head.
Hard, fast, and nearly desperate with need as I fill her. It’s like her body was made to take mine. She meets my thrusts as best as she can, grinding her hips into mine as I lose myself. My hand drops between our bodies, wedged between so I can play with her clit in circles far slower than the unrelenting pace that my hips have set. I don’t think that I could slow down if I wanted to. I feel crazed as I kiss her, swallowing every moan of pleasure that leaves her lips into my own.
“Nikolai, I’m going to - I’m -” Kate pants as her head falls back against the shower wall. I kiss down the exposed column of her slender neck, biting the skin softly without stopping or shifting the pace.
“Do it. I want to feel you cum on my dick, cum for me baby girl.” I growl into her skin.
The moment the words leave my lips, she comes undone exactly as I ordered her to. Her walls clench me so fucking tightly its almost painful. I don’t mean to cum with her - but she milks me for everything that I have. Helpless and totally under her control, and she doesn’t even realize it yet.
I don’t know how long we stand there after. The water has shifted from warm and soothing to luke warm, bordering on tepid before I carry her out of the shower and wrap her in a towel. Just enough to dry her off - I’m nowhere near done with her yet tonight.