Chapter 20
Nothing about tonight is going right.
It’s all wrong.
I shouldn’t be standing here alone. I shouldn’t have to dance on my own or tolerate the hands of strangers on me that I don’t want. I keep the smile on my face because I’m grateful to Alek for everything that he’s done and will continue to do for me. Horus has offered to dance with me at least three times, but I just can’t bring myself to do it. He’s the only one here who even really understands why I’m so upset. It’s a party for Anya and Alek. Anya has been nothing but kind to me during this whole thing.
Everything just feels… hollow.
Telling Nikolai to leave was the right choice to make. It was the only choice, we both know that. But it’s like there’s this hollow, aching hole in my chest knowing that tonight I’m going to go home to an empty bed. I’m going to be alone in a bed that feels too big for me. Nobody to make me laugh or to wake me up for middle-of-the-night sex.
It’s just me and Liz. Like before. That’s how it was supposed to be anyway.
Still, watching her dancing with all of her new friends, it’s next to impossible to reconcile the woman that I was a few days ago with who I am right now.
At least Liz is happy. Running around and playing with Henry and the other children from Alek’s clan.
Will Liz expect me to get married again? Someday she’s going to start asking a lot of questions that I’m going to have to come up with proper answers for. Right now, it all seems utterly impossible.
I didn’t want to have had to choose between my daughter and my - well, just what was he even?
Painful memories. That’s what he is now.
I have to distract myself.
There’s no time to lie around and wallow.
This is a safe space. There’s more protection at this reception than I have ever had before so there’s no reason that I shouldn’t be able to let my hair down, so to speak. Liz is well cared for. I might have my doubts but I know for a fact that nobody here would allow anything to happen to Henry or the other children, Liz included.
“Pity that I didn’t know you when I was getting married.”
Helena’s voice is unexpected. Startles me near out of my skin as I spin to greet her with a polite half smile. Mostly, I have to focus on my champagne not spilling. “Was it as grand as this? I imagine so.”
Helena grins in return. “Oh, Daniel never would have gone for this music or the whole outdoors thing. In truth, it was all a little rushed really. Maybe when we do a vow renewal or something?” Helena laughs to herself and lovingly runs a hand over her rounded belly. “Knowing Anya, she’s going to get competitive. Maybe that will be fun. Every year we can try to one up one another with vow renewals.”
“Or children’s birthday parties?” I offer.
That’s something to look forward to. Liz hasn’t had a grand birthday party yet. Billy always got mad about stuff like that. Didn’t like me spending the money that I made on things that he considered to be frivolous. His logic was that Liz was a baby and therefore she didn’t need anything like that. A cake, to him, would have been sufficient.
Now with the money that I’ve earned I can give Liz every princess party that she could ever want.
“Oh! Birthday parties! I didn’t even think about that! You have great ideas.” Helena giggles. If she didn’t live so far away from me, I would have loved to get to know her better. She and Anya both have such inviting energies about them.
“Careful though, if she’s the one throwing you a baby shower then she might have a head start on you.” I add, sipping my champagne again.
Helena snorts a laugh. “She is, actually.”
“How far along are you?”
Helena beams when she’s given the chance to talk more about her future child. “Twenty-five weeks! It seems like the time is just zipping by! Though, I will say that the baby already has a love of music that is impressive. All of this loud music is sending him into a frenzy.”
“Him?” I ask.
But before Helena can answer, Daniel shows up to guide her away. He’s certainly a good deal more formal than Alek ever was. He places a gentle hand under Helena’s elbow and flashes me a polite smile. “I have to steal my wife away for just a moment. There is somebody that I need her to meet.”
Helena rolls her eyes theatrically but seems only too happy to go with him. “Chat later,” she says over her shoulder before Daniel and she blend into the crowd of people.
I strain to see where Liz has gone off to. I think she’s developing quite a crush on Henry. He’s been doing such a great job taking care of her all evening. Where did they go?
Ah, there they are. Henry’s guiding Liz by the hand into the elaborate hedge maze just behind the party.
How cute.
I just know that she’s going to be talking about nothing but Henry for the next few weeks. Just the moon eyed way that she’s watching him is so telling. She certainly doesn’t talk about any of the little boys from school in that way. I bet the conversations at the breakfast table are going to be riveting.
I start to head to the entrance of the hedge maze that Henry and Liz just went into. I”m just making sure that there’s an adult within reach if they need anything.
Then, I hear Liz scream.
I would know her voice anywhere. I swear I run right out of the heels that I’m wearing. I don’t care about the fact that I’m going to have grass-stained feet as I tear off into the maze without thinking. Panic pumps into my blood as I blindly move around the hedge maze with nothing but the moon to guide me. Where did it come from? Where is she? Is Henry still with her? Are they okay?
“Mommy!” She yells and I turn in the direction that I hear the scream.
Fuck. What if I’m not fast enough? That’s not a scream from falling or hurting herself. That’s a bone chilling sort of terror. My stomach clenches as bile rises at the back of my throat.
I spot her, the hem of her dress and one of her white buckle shoes moving around a corner and I race after her. “Liz!” I scream after her as the maze opens up into a clearing that I didn’t notice before and I see who has her.
Billy.
Of course it’s Billy.
Liz is kicking and screaming at him as he throws our daughter up and over his shoulder. “Stop squirming you little bitch.” He growls at her over her shouts of protest.
She sees me now. I can see it. She screams and reaches for me and I think that I’m going to be sick.
Liz bites him. She bites her father and he shouts in pain before dropping her to the ground. I try to make it to her, to scoop her up into my arms. He can do anything to me so long as he leaves her alone. That’s the only thing that matters. But Billy is faster than I am.
He snatches Liz by the arm. “Stay back, whore.” Billy hisses.
It’s the first time that I really see how fucked up he is. Nikolai messed up his face. His jaw and left eye are so swollen that he can barely open it. His jaw is so swollen that he’s slurring his speech and he’s got stitches over his left eye from where Nikolai’s fists must have broken his skin. No doubt there’s plenty of bruised or broken ribs under there as well.
A wounded animal is always more dangerous.
I freeze exactly as he commands me to.
“I knew that you were going to be here.” Billy laughs, spittle flying out of his mouth. “They told me that you were going to be here.”
They? Who are they? I can’t tell if asking that question is what he wants me to do, or if it will only piss him off more.
“Don’t you want to know who?” Billy grins as if it’s just some big joke that our daughter is sobbing and her small hand is reaching desperately for me. How does this not tear his heart in two? He’s her father!
“You’re not the only one who can play around with the mob, darling.” Billy chuckles. “Di Gennaro’s clan scooped me up after your little boyfriend did such a fucking number on me. What a coward, jumping people in the fucking dark. As if he has any right to get in between us!”
“That’s not… Billy… please… just let her go and we can talk.” I beg. I hate how weak I sound. In the past, he used to be somewhat reasonable if I could just talk him down. He just needs to say his piece and then he will calm down. Maybe. If I’m very, very careful.
“Who was he, huh, whore?” Billy asks, demanding information that I can’t give him. That I don’t want to give him. I knew he would never give a damn about the restraining order I have. “You left me and took my property away from to move on that damned quickly?!”
Everything has to be about him. Always.
“No!” I lie. “No, never that.” I will say just about anything to make sure that Liz and I walk away from this. Somebody is going to come looking for us. Maybe Henry has already run to get help.
“Do you think that I’m fucking stupid?” Billy snarls, yanking on Liz’s arm and making her yelp.
Something in me snaps.
He doesn’t care about us. He never has. I have to protect her. I have to get her away from him. Right now. No more placations. The longer he talks the more that he’s going to talk himself up and the more likely that he is to do something.
I make a run for it, hoping to take him off guard for just a moment. My fingers just barely brush Liz’s before Billy yanks her away.
I hear the gun before I see it. Cocked and pointed right at our daughter.
Then I hear screaming. I almost don’t even realize that the screaming is coming from me.