Chapter 38
DIANGELO
Present
Terina’s body melts into mine. As a result, the cacophony of worries constantly vying for attention in my head seems to harmonize in a way that cancels them all out, gifting me with a peaceful sense of rightness.
This is where I need to be.
This is life’s purpose.
Her body pressed against mine. My tongue tangled with hers. Our breaths giving and taking in shared communion. Everything about the way I feel right now confirms my suspicions.
I belong with Terina.
When I saw her in Ciro’s arms, I knew I couldn’t fight this need any longer. Refusing to admit how much I want her will compromise my ability to keep her safe more than being with her ever will because in that scenario, I’m waging a war on two fronts.
I can’t fight myself and the enemy.
Now that I have her in my arms, I can see clearly that fear was holding me back.
I’ve been terrified of failing her. But if I hurt her emotionally in the process of protecting her physically, I’ve still failed. I want her to feel safe relying on me in every way, and I swear to God, I’ll make it happen. One way or another.
When my hand slides under her shirt to rest on her ribs, she startles, pulling back and breaking the kiss. I’m surprised to find her eyes wide with panic.
“I can’t do this,” she hurries to say, peeling herself out of my hold.
“What are you talking about? You’re an adult. You can be with whoever you want.”
“No, I can’t.” Her words are firm, even a touch exasperated, as if it should be obvious.
I coax her back toward me, not wanting to let her put distance between us. “Little firefly, you want this. I know you do. The way your body responds to me—there’s no faking that.”
Distress creases her forehead and draws her brows together. “No, DiAngelo. I don’t want this. I don’t want you because I still love Craig.” She gulps in a breath of air as though she’s fighting something, but I have no idea what it is. I’m too busy recovering from a proverbial punch to the gut.
She’s still in love with her dead husband?
Could that be possible when she responds to me the way she does?
We’ve never talked about him. My eyes drift to the empty ring finger on her left hand.
She doesn’t wear her wedding band or have the hint of a tan line.
On top of that, I’ve only spotted a single photo of the two of them together in her apartment.
Those don’t seem like the actions of a woman who’s clinging to the past.
I think it’s fear, not love, that’s stopping her.
She’s afraid of being hurt, which means I need to prove to her that I’m safe. That being with me is worth the risk.
I’m the home she’s been looking for. I know it.
“Come here.” I gently take her hand and pull her into my arms. I cup her head against my chest and wait until I feel her accept me.
Once her heart rate calms and her arms are soothingly wrapped around my middle, I lay out a map of what’s going to happen.
She needs certainty, so that’s what I’ll give her.
“It’s been a long day. Neither of us needs to be making any big decisions at the moment. We’re going to shower and eat, then we’ll see what tomorrow brings. Okay?”
She nods against my chest.
“Good girl.” I press a kiss to the crown of her head before ending the hug and taking her hand again.
I lead her back to her bathroom. Bonny is close at our heels.
I start the shower water for Terina and hang a clean towel on the rod next to the shower, then instruct Bonny to lie down and stay.
“When I’m done with my shower, I’ll get started on dinner. Take your time.”
I start to turn when her fingers snag in the waist of my shirt.
“What about your head?”
I peer in the vanity mirror and try to angle my head to see the wound. “It stopped bleeding, so it’s probably fine.”
“Let me have a look,” she says softly.
I’d topple a building for her if she asked in that voice. Letting her look at my head is a no-brainer. I rest my butt against the vanity countertop and fold myself enough that she can get a good look.
Her fingers gingerly sift through my curls to identify the source of the blood while I try not to stare at her incredible chest inches from my face.
“Looks like a chunk of skin was gouged out, but I don’t think it’s deep enough to need stitches.” She pauses as I lift upright again. “Make sure you clean it out really well despite the burn.”
“Yes, ma’am,” I tease lightly.
Amusement creases the corners of her eyes. She crosses her arms over her chest as she waits for me to leave and give her privacy. I oblige, heading to the guest bathroom to take a quick shower. The cut stings like a bitch but doesn’t bleed much once it’s dry.
After I’m done, I get dinner started, calling Renzo while I’m at it.
“Michael Savin? The name is familiar,” he muses after I tell him about the bar scene. “If I recall, he has some personal connection with the Genoveses who run the family, rather than the Lucciano Family in general. We could reach out to them if we need to.”
“Let’s see what comes of my visit to the bar. He may come to us. I’d rather not go asking for favors unless necessary.”
“True. Hey, how’s Terina holding up?”
He must be a mind reader because at that very moment, she appears in the living room with her wet hair piled on her head, wearing sexy-as-hell pink pajamas. Not the kind meant to be racy. The long, flowy pants paired with a camisole top are sweetly feminine, making her look almost edible.
My eyes hold hers captive as I delight at the way her cheeks blush from my devouring stare.
“Your sister’s doing well. She’s stolen my dog, in fact.” A smirk teases my lips as Bonny shadows Terina, her red nails clacking on the hard floor.
“Huh, didn’t see that one coming.”
“Yeah, funny how things happen sometimes when you least expect them.”
Please don’t hate me when I tell you I’m falling for your sister.
He’s quiet for a second as though trying to decipher my cryptic message. Little Liora starts to wail in the background, drawing a sigh from him. “I gotta go.”
“Good luck, man.”
He grunts before the line goes dead.
“That Renzo?” Terina asks as she joins me in the kitchen.
“Yeah.”
“They okay?”
“Think so, just tired.”
“I’ll bet.” She peeks at the pan of Italian sausage I have browning on the stove. “Need any help?”
“You want to grab some garlic from the pantry? I was about to start some orzo.”
“Sure.” She sets the bulb of garlic on the counter by the milk, butter, and parmesan.
“I’ll chop it if you can keep an eye on the sausage.” I don’t want her to have to handle the garlic and get it on her fingers. If one of us has to smell like garlic all night, I’d rather it was me.
“Yeah, no problem. Also, I forgot to mention it before, but tomorrow is the anniversary of Craig’s death. I usually go out to the cemetery. Is it okay if you take me out there tomorrow?”
For a second, I feel like utter shit for pushing her about us on the eve of her husband’s death. Then I realize that she forgot to tell me. She forgot. If she was truly still harboring feelings for him, wouldn’t that date be in the forefront of her mind?
We’ve had a lot of shit going on, so I can’t say for sure, but it’s something to consider.
“Yeah. When do you want to go?”
“Whatever works for you, so long as I get a chance to go by.”
“How about eleven, then we can pick up lunch on the way home?” I offer.
She nods with a smile. “That works. Thanks.”
“Of course.”
We finish cooking together and eat at the kitchen bar. I tell her about Grisha, even delving into our past at the prison, since she seems eager for more information.
“Can I ask what you went to prison for?” Her voice is hesitant as though she’s worried she’ll upset me.
I make sure to answer openly so she feels comfortable asking me anything. “Arson. I burned down an old factory when I was seventeen after my brother was taken.”
“Isa told me a little about it,” she whispers. “He was your twin?”
“Yeah, identical.” I smile, happy to share his memory with her. Despite my shame, I try not to diminish his life by refusing to talk about him. It doesn’t come up much, but when it does, I want to make sure people know how amazing my brother was.
“I can’t imagine two of you. I bet your mom had her hands full.”
“Always.” I grin, and I’d swear Terina’s breath catches. “She did her best to raise us in the church.” I fish out the two silver cross pendants I wear on a single chain beneath my shirt for her to see. “Gave us these for our first communion, but we were still little hellions.”
“What was his name?”
“Elio.”
“Elio,” she says softly, testing the word on her lips.
My heart contracts at the sound. What I wouldn’t give to introduce her to him. He would be so happy for me. He’d also kick my ass if I hurt her, not that I plan to, but I never thought I’d hurt my family either.
“I should visit him more,” I admit quietly.
“I know how you feel. We could go by tomorrow while we’re out, if you want. No pressure,” she hurries to add.
“Another time, when things are safer.”
Her nod morphs into a mighty yawn.
“You ready for bed?” I ask.
“Not yet. I think I’ll watch a little TV first.”
“Sounds good to me. I have some computer work to do.”
We put our dishes in the sink to deal with in the morning, and I grab my laptop from my office.
While she watches TV on the sofa, I sit on the adjacent loveseat and continue scanning hours of video footage from her apartment building.
I wanted to sit next to her, but I didn’t want to have to explain what I'd found earlier today.
Some things are better left in the dark.
I eventually find the culprit entering her apartment, but the footage offers little to help us. The man is wearing a ball cap with a jacket and long pants. I can’t see his face or even hair color, nor do his clothes bear any distinguishing markers.
I separate a small clip of him in the hallway and email it to one of our tech guys, asking him to see if he can gather any other CCTV from that day tracking the man.
“Okay, it’s getting late,” I announce.
“Yeah, I’m ready to conk out.” She turns off the TV and heads toward the bedroom. When she turns back to say good night and sees I’m following her, her brows knit together.
I turn her shoulders back toward the bedroom hallway. “Keep going, or did you forget where the bedroom is?”
“What are you doing?”
“Going to bed.”
“With me?” she squeaks.
“Yes, I’m going to sleep in my bed.”
“I can move to the guest room, if you want.”
I raise my brow. “That’s not happening. You’re staying in my bed … with me.”
She opens her mouth to argue.
I hold up a finger to stop her. “There’s no pressure or expectations here, Rina. We’re simply two adults sleeping in a single bed. Now, keep moving.”
Her jaw snaps shut. She does as I say, but damn if she doesn’t shoot me a haughty look over her shoulder in the process. It takes everything I have not to give her ass a swat.
I know I’m walking a fine line, so I refrain. But once we’re in bed, I pull her close until she’s nestled against my side.
“I thought this was just two people sleeping in a bed,” she reminds me pointedly.
“It is, firefly,” I whisper. “Just you and me and our dreams.”
Slowly, her body softens against mine. She lasts all of five minutes before her breathing signals she’s fallen asleep. Safe and secure and all mine, whether she knows it or not.