6. Chapter Five
Chapter Five
Cassidy
The sun streams into my window, accompanied by the faint chirping of birds. I shiver as the air hits my skin, the blankets falling down as I sat upright.
Coffee. Need coffee.
Searching the cupboards, it’s to my utter disappointment that I’ve already ran out of coffee for the pot and have to head to the main lodge to get some refills. Grabbing an apple off the fruit basket, I head back into the room to change and bundle up for the walk. A nice, thick navy-blue sweater overtop of a turtle neck with some sweats, knee high socks and my biking boots.
Good enough.
Checking my phone, I’m surprised not to see a million messages from Stuart. Normally he is already blowing up my email, or if I am especially unlucky that day, he calls me.
It is a nice change. Taking a deep breath, I release the anxiety sitting in my chest. With a spring in my step, I fling open the front door, only to stop dead in my tracks at the balled-up towel on the porch.
What the hell is this?
Bending down, I grab it and unravel the gift, my mouth dropping open at the shriveled, dark, crusty ball inside.
Is that a…
No…
Nope.
Not a dick.
Definitely not a dick.
Looking down again, shock hits me as I drop the package, the penis hitting the deck with a tiny thud. Holy fuck, there’s a goddamn dick on my porch.
What in the Kentucky fried fuck is this? Whose dick is on my porch?
The apple slips from my other hand, rolling across the deck as I manage to stumble back into the cabin. My mind races, jumping from one conclusion to the next without finding an answer. I slam the door behind me, breathing hard, the pounding of my heart drowning out any rational thought.
This is insane.
My head is floating, leaving my body in shock, levitating somewhere in the nether, my limbs trembling like I’ve just run a marathon. Who leaves a severed dick on someone’s doorstep? A sick fuck, that’s who. But why?
I pace the room, trying to piece it all together. I didn’t have enemies. No one hated me per se. I didn’t hate anyone either. Well… except one person, but I didn’t despise him. More or less hated him because he cheated on me.
My ass finds the couch as I slump into the cushions. Noah's face flashes through my mind. Is it him? Could he? Would he?
No. That’s insane people talk. He would never…
I don’t know why, but fear isn’t entirely what I'm feeling. There’s a twisted heat beneath the panic, bubbling up unexpectedly.
And then there's something else—an undeniable curiosity. Stuart hasn’t called or emailed. And this little package has shown up on my porch.
Out of pure morbid fascination, I head back outside and sit on the step. A breeze blows and I almost scream as something flies by me. The little cock has rolled down the step and is only a foot away from where I sat. I stare at it again, unable to look away. If it is his, I don’t remember it being that small. Is that a by product of being cut off? Or was it just always so… pathetic?
It can’t be.
But maybe…
The sound of footsteps falling hard over the twigs and leaves interrupts my train of thought.
“Cassidy?” His voice.
Noah.
I look up, my heart jumping into my throat. He’s there, in a beige sweatshirt and hiking pants, looking like he’s just rolled out of a wilderness catalogue. His dark eyes meet mine, and I swear I see them flicker towards the gift.
“Oh,” I stammer. “Hey—uh—”
“Everything okay?” he asks, feigning the perfect amount of concern.
I stand so quickly I’m dizzy. “Why wouldn’t it be?”
He nods to the dick on the ground between us, acting as if we’re discussing the weather and not a severed body part. “Interesting morning delivery.”
I swallow hard, trying to keep my composure. Doubt fills my mind. He was acting as if he wasn’t the one who did it… maybe he wasn’t?
“Did you see who left it?” There’s an edge to his voice that I hadn’t heard before.
I shake my head. “Found it out here. Wrapped in a towel.”
My brain is on overdrive. It’s him. It has to be him. Who else would do something like this? Who else would have the audacity, the balls—literally—to—
And yet, why am I not terrified?
“I can help you find out,” Noah says quietly, his presence overwhelming but strangely calm.
“What?” My own thoughts drown out his words before they reach me.
“I’ll keep an eye out.” He looks at me pointedly. “Make sure this doesn’t happen again.”
“Think someone will keep leaving me severed dicks to wake up to?” I challenge, watching him carefully.
“Not if people know what’s good for them and act right.” He says it so confidently, that somehow, I feel safe.
“What do you mean by that?”
He steps closer, kicking the dick under the porch. “I mean exactly what I said, Cass. If people act right, things like this wouldn’t happen. Whoever it was attached to must have been a really bad guy for this to happen.”
I frown, trying to find the words. “It’s a very specific message.”
Noah grabs my hand and hauls me to my feet, pulling my body flush with his chest. “Maybe someone wanted to make sure you’re left alone out here. So, you can figure your shit out.”
“Or maybe someone has a twisted sense of humor,” I shoot back, watching his reaction.
His lips curve up slightly. “You could say that.”
“So…” My voice falters, and I hesitate. “You really don’t know who did this?”
He shakes his head slowly. “What if I did?”
The question shocks me because I don’t know what would happen if he admits it’s him.
We both fall silent, the sound of morning rain dripping off the trees filling the space between us. It’s comforting and unsettling at the same time, especially while he holds me like this. Intimate. Close.
“What are you going to do?” he asks, breaking the quiet.
“Try not to lose my mind?” I suggest, shrugging. “Maybe get coffee? Pretty sure I need it after all this.”
“I’ll walk you to the lodge,” he says, more a statement than an offer.
I think about refusing but don’t. There’s no point pretending I have anything under control right now – including myself.
“Okay.” The word slips out before I can stop it.
As we move down the path through the trees, I can’t help glancing sideways at him. He walks with a quiet confidence, so sure of himself, so sure of everything.
I realize with a start that if I had really cared about Stuart, I would have tried calling him to make sure it wasn’t his.
But I didn’t and I don’t. Mainly because I’m pretty fucking sure it is his and I don’t care enough to find out if the rest of him survived. And of course, because my luck is so spectacular, it rains. Feels like all this place does is piss all over me, constantly.
And I’m not into golden showers.
I think . Never tried one to say for sure, but it sounds like something I’d avoid.
“So…” I say, looking over at him as the rain slowly soaks into his hair. He’s so effortlessly sexy, just brushing his hair back as if the rain doesn’t bother him.
“So.”
“What’s for breakfast this morning?”
“Whatever you like. Chef did a buffet,” he says. “More of a brunch by now.”
We reach the lodge as he holds the door open for me, letting the warmth and smell of fresh coffee wrap around us. I catch a glimpse of myself in the reflection of a window—wild-eyed and disheveled, not at all like the composed lawyer I’m supposed to be.
“Cassidy!” Dana calls from behind the counter, waving a cloth like it’s going to fly out of her hand. “You okay? You look… different.”
I force a smile, nodding. “Just an interesting start to the day.”
She eyes Noah behind me but doesn’t say anything more, just gestures to the steaming pot on the counter. “Coffee’s fresh.”
I fill a cup with trembling hands, feeling Noah’s presence at my back as he steps closer.
“I’ll make sure you’re not bothered again,” he says quietly, his breath warm against my ear. “By anyone.”
I shiver despite myself, clutching the cup tight. “You seem pretty dead set on keeping me from the world.”
“I am,” he replies, and his hand brushes my lower back as we move to sit by the window overlooking the misty woods.
Dana watches us with a frown on her face, but Noah just fixes her with a hard stare, and she looks away.
As we sit down, I try to push aside the chaos in my mind. Whoever left that package wanted to shake me up. And maybe they did. But there’s something else growing beneath it all—a stubborn thrill that refuses to let me go.
If it was Noah… maybe I was okay with that. I had always dated schmucks. But this… this intensity was appealing.
Someone who would deliver me the heads of those who wronged me.
Or dicks.
Noah’s eyes lock onto mine across the table and his lips upturned in a small smile. He slides the buffet checklist across to me and we spend a moment just filling them out.
“Tiny dick for your thoughts?”
I choke out a laugh, almost spilling coffee on myself.
“You’re not easily disturbed.”
“Would it make you happy if I was?”
His smile widens. “Not really.”
“I’m just thinking about what I want to do today. I was looking at rafting, but honestly, I’m not a fan of water. Well, fast moving water. So, maybe some rock climbing? I saw in the flyer that there’s a mountain nearby perfect for beginners.” I wave over the waitress and give her my buffet list.
Noah eyes me, considering. “And perfect for getting lost,” he says finally, handing the waitress his own list. “But I can take you.”
I raise an eyebrow. “You sure you don't have better things to do than babysit?”
“Never said it was babysitting.” His voice lowers along with his gaze as it skims over my outfit, appreciation in his eyes. “Besides, I’d rather be with you.”
He’s always so intense . I look away, focusing on the rain-soaked trees outside. Part of me wants to push back, to draw some line in the sand I can pretend still exists between us. But another part—the one winning right now—is more curious about the man that I suspect delivered me the severed cock of my cheating bastard ex-fiancé.
“So, you’re just going to follow me around until... what?” I ask lightly, as if I'm not dying to hear his answer.
“Until you know you’re safe.” There’s an unspoken promise in his words.
The waitress returns with a basket of fresh pastries and steaming plates of eggs, bacon and a bowl of French Onion Soup, my favorite. I reach for a croissant, feeling like the rest of the world has faded into a distant hum and it's just us here in this strange bubble.
“Who says I’m not safe?”
He takes a forkful of eggs and shovels them in his mouth before chewing thoughtfully. “I just have a hunch that you get yourself into trouble. Particularly with men.”
I smirk, tearing my croissant into pieces. “And how would you know that?”
“Just a hunch.”
“Okay, so let’s say for the rest of my time here, you follow me around, keep me safe from the unknown disasters waiting to befall me. What happens after I go home?”
His eyes darken and panic clenches in my gut at the way he looks at me.
“And after that?” I press.
He hesitates, trying to find the words he wants to say. “We’ll see.”
“Seems like you’ve got my life all planned out,” I say, trying to sound casual as I tear into the pastry.
“I’m good at planning,” he replies, eating another forkful of eggs.
I bite into my croissant, savoring the momentary distraction of warm butter and flakes melting on my tongue. “And here I thought you were more the spontaneous type.”
“I’m flexible,” he says, his gaze never leaving mine. “But when I want something…”
I swallow, a mix of excitement and anxiety building. He’s not hiding it—not his interest, not his intentions. And where I should feel trapped, scared even, there’s this insane part of me that leans in instead of pulling away.
“Then plan to take me rock climbing,” I say, more breathless than I mean to be.
He grins, a flash of satisfaction in his eyes. “You’re the boss.”
The rain outside switches from drizzle to downpour as we finish breakfast. It’s too loud and too sudden to be anything but ominous. But even as it pounds against the windows, even with Dana casting worried glances our way, there’s a giddy recklessness in me that just won’t quit.
“You ready?” Noah asks, standing and stretching like we didn’t just eat half of the lodge’s food. All this delicious cooking is going to hit my hips and I’m grateful that I can work it off with a hike.
“Yep.”
We head back into the rain, my coffee-fueled nerves buzzing beneath my skin. Noah falls into step beside me like he belongs there, like he always has.
“What if I change my mind?” I ask as we walk towards the gear shed.
“About climbing?”
“About all of it.” I don’t mention the dick, because I don’t think it needs to be said. But the possibility is there. I could turn him in. If I wanted to.
His expression doesn’t waver as he gathers the supplies for climbing. “You won’t.”
I’m not sure which one of us he’s trying to convince.
The path is slick beneath our feet as we climb the trail, almost too slippery to keep going. The rain is torrential and I’m yelling at Noah that we have to turn back.
He grabs my hand, forcing me to keep pace with him as he points up ahead. “There’s a cabin just up here. We can rest there until it stops.”
I follow him, the thrill of running through the storm fueling me. I should be freezing, miserable, but instead I’m breathless with excitement. The cabin appears suddenly, a shadow in the downpour. Noah throws open the door and pulls me inside.
We’re soaked, dripping puddles on the wooden floor. He shakes his head like a wet dog, sending water everywhere, and I can’t help but laugh.
“Some plan,” I say, peeling off my sweater and squeezing it out.
“Spontaneous enough for you?” he replies, grinning as he strips his own sweater off.
The cabin is small and sparse. Nothing like the glamorous one I’ve been using, with only a rough-hewn table, a three-seater sofa, a nice fireplace and a bedroom and bathroom down a short hall. But it’s dry, and some reckless part of me wonders if he planned this too—being forced to share a space with him.
I shiver involuntarily from the cold, and he quickly lights a fire in the old fireplace, flames crackling to life under his practiced hands.
“Warmer?” he asks, an unfamiliar softness in his voice.
I nod, rubbing my arms as heat begins to fill the room. “Not what I expected for our first date.” My voice is teasing, but he takes my words seriously.
He steps closer, close enough that I feel his warmth and the intensity of his attention even without touching. “Oh, so this was a date?” He cracks a smile and my stomach flips. “Well in that case… something tells me you’re not one for ordinary dates.”
I meet his eyes, trying to read all the unspoken things there. “And you are?”
His lips twitch into another smile—a little darker this time. “Not even close.”
He trails his hand down my cheek, between the valley of my breasts before ending at the hem of my sweater, sliding it over my head before grabbing my shirt. I let him lift it, pulling it over my head and tossing it to the side. The air is cold on my skin, but his fingers are fire as they trace along my collarbone, down my arms. I didn’t put a bra on this morning and my nipples are hard points, ones he traces with reverence, forcing heat to pool between my legs.
“How's this for forcing you to warm up to me?” he murmurs.
I swat at him playfully, though my heart stutters beneath his touch. “Pretty bold strategy.”
“It’s worked so far.” His hands slide down to my waist, wrapping around me and pulling me against him. I don’t resist. “You don’t seem to be stopping me.”
We’re standing there, soaked and half-naked, and it’s like we’re the only ones in the world. The storm is raging outside, but it only fuels the heat inside—inside this cabin, inside us.
He leans in, his lips brushing mine. It’s a soft contact at first, tentative as if he’s giving me a chance to pull back. But I don’t. I press into him instead, the thrill of giving in spurring me on.
The kiss deepens and his grip tightens. I'm melting into him when something shifts—a sudden awareness of the storm's intensity or maybe just the wildness of what I'm doing—and I draw back slightly, breathless.
“We… we shouldn’t. This is wrong,” I say, a crawling sensation creeping into my gut. “I… I can’t have a relationship. I’m going back to the city soon.”
His eyes search mine, hunger and desire that sends another jolt through me. “Maybe it’s time you changed your goals, Cassidy.”
“What? Noah. That’s ridiculous. I can’t change my entire life because of a retreat fling.”
“FLING? You think what this is, is a FLING?” Rage pulses from him as he yells, making me flinch. I haven’t seen him lose his cool, even once, but this scares me.
“Noah—” I start, but he’s already pacing, the storm outside nothing compared to the one brewing in here.
“I’ve made it pretty damn clear how I feel,” his voice is low and dangerous now. “I thought you were starting to see it.”
“I am, but—”
He stops and faces me, eyes burning with something fierce and all-consuming. “What do you think happens next?”
“I finish the retreat and go home. To my office. My practice. That was always the plan,” I remind him, not sure if I’m pleading or demanding.
His jaw tightens. “I’m not going to let you walk away like none of this meant anything.”
I gape at him, torn between anger and something more confusing. This should be everything I don’t want, everything I should run from. Instead, my head is spinning. What the fuck is happening right now ?
“We can’t just pretend like this is... a relationship,” I say weakly.
He moves closer again, and something in my chest twists at the intensity in his expression. “No, Cassidy. I’m not pretending anymore. This isn’t just a relationship. This is forever.”
The finality in his voice hits me hard. It’s like he’s giving me an ultimatum without saying another word.
“I need time to think,” I say sharply, stepping back and grabbing my damp sweater off the floor, not bothering with the shirt. The air’s too thick, too charged with emotion I’m not ready for.
Something flashes in his eyes—a mix of pain and frustration—but he doesn’t stop me when I turn for the door. The rain is deafening as I burst outside, soaking me immediately.
He lets me go.