12. Chapter Eleven
Chapter Eleven
Cassidy
My body is screaming for mercy, aches springing up in my bones, my joints and my muscles.
He didn’t even fuck me that hard for everything to be hurting the way it is, but maybe that’s just a marker that I’m getting older. Or maybe it’s from all the damn hiking Noah keeps forcing me to do. My thirty-fifth birthday is coming up soon and I’m feeling way too old for this shit.
Sighing, I force my legs off the side of the bed and onto the cold floor. Noah isn’t beside me, and he isn’t in the shower. In fact, the whole cabin is silent. Stretching, I bend down and touch my toes, trying to ease the tightness that settled over my muscles in my sleep.
God, I must have slept for almost thirteen hours.
Somehow, I still want more.
Heaving myself off the bed, I rummage through the drawers, picking out some sweat pants and a plain white t-shirt. Shower time and then I’ll go look for my sexy captor.
I need to keep some boundaries in place, but Christ, it’s hard not being able to turn over in bed and find his body there. It’s hard knowing he’s spent the last few hours doing God knows what while I was dead to the world.
After a quick shower, I throw my hair into a bun and take slow steps out of the bathroom and into the kitchen, my knees cracking and popping as I walk. Seriously, how old am I again?
There’s a steaming mug on the counter with a note beside it.
Out getting supplies. Be back soon.
—N
He draws his letters like a serial killer might. Perfect print, no real slant or style. Nothing unique about it at first glance, but when you look closer you see all the precision that goes into making something so ordinary. My heart flutters in my chest—a feeling I’m not sure I like—and I pick up the coffee and take a sip.
It’s creamy, just the way I like it.
I linger by the window, gazing out into the misty trees, wondering if he’s set up cameras there too. If he can see me through their thick trunks right now, smiling at nothing and trying to convince myself I don’t care about him nearly as much as I do.
The more we have our intense fuck sessions—and really, there is no other word for them—the less control I have over myself and my emotions. The more time passes, the less getting away from this place feels like something I want.
This should scare me more than it does.
I thought three days would be enough time to figure out an escape plan, to figure out how to get away from here.
From him.
But he’s gone now, and I could run, but I don’t. I’m still wrestling with myself about it all. He’s everything I ever wanted. Everything I dreamed out. I think I even made a whole journal entry about how much I want everything he offers.
So, what’s stopping me from just falling into it? From letting go and falling in love with him?
Maybe it’s the fact that I feel dirty. I feel like I should want someone like Stuart, who is calm, predictable, even though he cheated on me, he was normal.
Noah is anything but normal. He’s forced a crack in my psyche that’s become a chasm, allowing those thoughts that keep my pussy throbbing to be on the forefront of my mind every damn day. He makes me want him. He makes me want to kick and scream and bite and hit. He makes me want to run until he can tie me up and punish me, leaving beautiful bruises down my skin.
I crave the loss of control, the unrelenting need that rises up when he’s around. I crave his cock like a woman who is parched from being trapped in the desert.
At this point, I realize, it’s become more of a game for me.
This push and pull. I need to fight against the hold he has on me, because if I give in, that means I’m just as sick and deranged as I feared I was.
And that is a hard pill to swallow.
My lungs contract as I exhale a long breath and take a sip of my coffee. It’s luke warm now, but still good enough to drink.
The front door creaks and in steps Noah, carrying a grocery bag.
“Sorry I wasn’t here when you woke. Ran out of coffee and decided to stop at the lodge to grab some.” He eyes me carefully. “I had an idea for today.”
“Mmmm, and what’s that? More hiking? Because honestly, I don’t think my knees will keep if I have to do much more.”
He gives me a grin that makes my insides melt. “I was thinking about something more relaxing. Maybe breakfast in the main lodge.”
My heart skips a beat, and I hate myself for liking the idea.
“Breakfast at the lodge? You mean in public?”
Noah sets the bag down and nods. “You’re still a guest, so it’s expected that at some point you’ll show up.” He pauses, studying my reaction. “What do you say? It’ll be good to remind them that you’re safe. Just enjoying your time to relax.”
I’m chewing the inside of my cheek, weighing the risks versus the thrill of it all. He’s confident that I won’t do anything rash—too confident—but that’s nothing new.
“If I go, will you promise not to take out all the staff if I say hello?” I try to keep my tone light, give him a teasing smile. Deep down, I am not sure how much of it is a joke.
“If you behave, no one gets hurt,” he says with a playful wink, but there’s an edge to it that reminds me exactly who he is.
“And what if I don’t behave?” I raise an eyebrow.
“Then you might see a side of me you haven’t yet.” His voice is low, dangerous, yet it sends an involuntary shiver of excitement through me.
My head spins as I consider what he’s saying—that there’s more to him than the stalkerish control freak he’s shown me so far. That I might have only scratched his surface.
“Alright,” I say before I can talk myself out of it. “Let’s go to breakfast.”
He grins and steps closer, brushing a strand of hair from my face. The touch is casual, intimate, like he’s done it a million times.
“Glad you’re on board,” he says, eyes boring into mine with that mix of affection and ownership that makes me want to slap him and kiss him at the same time.
We get ready fast. I’m so excited to be around other people. I change into clothes more suitable for being seen in public and toss my hair into something that looks less like I just rolled out of bed. Note to self: bring brush, toiletries and other personal items. Noah watches me with amusement as I fuss with my appearance, his confidence both infuriating and strangely reassuring.
“Hardly recognize you,” he teases when I finally emerge from the bathroom, looking more like the old Cassidy than I have in days.
“This is who I am,” I shoot back, feeling an unexpected thrill at being myself again, even if it’s just for a morning.
Together, we start the hike down to the main lodge. It’s cold as hell, but Noah has lent me one of his jackets—it smells like him, rugged and musky—and we make good time on the trail. My body protests every step of the way; muscles are tight, lungs burning in the crisp air. He keeps pace with me easily as if sensing exactly how much I can handle.
By the time we’re approaching the lodge, my breath is visible in small clouds in front of me and my heart is banging against my ribcage—not just from exertion but from knowing this could be my chance to scream out for help. To let someone know what’s happening here.
I can get away.
He stops just short of the lodge door and leans in close, his lips brushing my cheek as he whispers, “No funny business, Cassidy. I mean it. If I have to kill every single person in this resort because you did something foolish, I will.”
His threat is soft, almost loving, like it’s a promise instead of a warning. My pulse spikes as I force myself to nod—every instinct screaming at me to test him, to see just how far he’ll go.
“No funny business,” I echo, my voice steadier than I feel.
He pulls back and gives me a grin like we’re partners in crime. It does nothing to calm the storm inside me.
The lodge is quiet when we enter; most guests are still in their cabins or out on the trails. A fire crackles in the massive stone hearth, chasing the chill from my bones.
Noah puts a possessive hand on my lower back, guiding me toward the dining area. The few people who are there look up with mild curiosity as we pass. I recognize one of them—Dottie, I think—with her red curls and loud laugh that carries across the room. My heart leaps into my throat.
“Oh wow, I thought you left!” she calls out, waving frantically to get my attention. “Oh my god, where have you been for the last few days!”
Noah’s grip tightens ever so slightly, and I know he won’t think twice about following through with his threat if I push things too far.
“Found a cabin to hole up in,” I say with as much casual cheer as I can muster. “Got swept away by all this nature.”
Dottie eyes Noah with open curiosity, taking in his rugged good looks and the way he’s practically glued to my side. “And who’s this?”
I hesitate for half a second too long.
“Noah,” he says. “I don’t believe I’ve had the pleasure of leading you on a hike, but perhaps later in the week.”
I want to stay and talk, but he drags me to the coffee station and starts pouring our cups.
“Would you mind dishing up some breakfast. Today is buffet day, so whatever you’d like. I will be at our usual table.” He takes the coffee cups and walks to our table.
I’m standing in front of the buffet, alone. I can run. I can scream. I can do literally anything other than what I’m doing, which is dishing up spoonsful of egg and strips of bacon.
I should make a break for it. Noah isn’t even watching me; he’s talking to some members of the staff, his back turned just enough that I could disappear before he notices I’m gone.
But what then? I’d be halfway down the road in this fucking cold, and he’d catch me. He always catches me. Wouldn’t be able to make it very far without him.
The thrill of freedom flares up only to flicker out as I replay his threat over in my mind—how he’d kill everyone here if I even thought about running.
Maybe if I found Dana, I could give her a little red flag, like women do in those videos when they’re begging for help. Blink twice or something. Looking around, she is noticeably absent.
Probably sick. I would be too if I had to put up with Noah’s shit all the time.
I grab our plates and head toward where Noah is now sitting at a table near the window, his eyes tracking every step I take. There’s something dangerous in the way he watches me—a mix of amusement and possessive pride.
“See?” he says as I sit across from him, setting the plates down with more force than necessary. “This wasn’t so hard.”
I glare at him, my frustration bubbling just beneath the surface. “Maybe not for you.” I stab into my eggs while holding his eye contact, trying to keep the serious grimace on my face as he eyes me with a smirk.
“Pretending that’s me?”
“Yes.” I say before changing the subject. “Haven’t seen Dana around.”
“I thought we moved past the games, Cassidy. Or is it just when I’m impaling you with my cock that you’re compliant and want to be with me?”
I don’t miss the way he ignores my question about Dana, but my face heats at his suggestion all the same. “No. Now that I’m back in ‘civilization’, I decided I’d like to stay. But somehow, I get the feeling you’d never let that happen.”
“Actually,” he says, his face thoughtful as he chews his bacon. “Dana moved on, and now I’m missing a receptionist. If you can behave like a good girl, there might be a job up here for you.”
What does he mean he’s missing a receptionist? He’s just the hiking guide…
Wait, isn’t Dana the receptionist?
“Is that so,” I say, wary of his nonchalance.
The dining room starts filling up, guests drifting in to get their coffee and breakfast. He doesn’t take his eyes off me, and I can feel the weight of them like a tether holding me in place. It’s infuriating and reassuring all at once.
“You can’t just keep me here forever,” I tell him under my breath.
Noah leans forward, his voice low but full of intent. “I can—and I will. Anyway, Cassidy, think it over. You might find working out here in the fresh air is just what you need.”
I bite back a groan. No, it’s not. I need to get back to my practice before those bozo’s destroy everything I’ve worked for. Now that I’m out of the cabin, the spell has broken. I need to be around people. Other people. Sane people. “I need to go to my cabin to get some of my essentials.”
He nods, “Sure, I’ll take you there when we’re done.”
The plan forms in my head as we eat. When we get there, I can claim I need to email Carter and Stuart about a file, that I absolutely need to check my phone and send a quick email before I get him to take me back up the trail.
He won’t want to put me on edge by dragging me out right away; he’ll let me have this little piece of independence to keep up the illusion that I’ve got some say in all this.
It’s the best shot I have, but adrenaline spikes through me at the thought of it going wrong. He’ll make good on his promise if I fuck this up, and I don’t know if I could live with that.
“Ready?” His voice snaps me back into the moment, and he looks at my empty plate with satisfaction.
“Yeah,” I say, trying to sound casual. “Let’s go.”
We leave through the same door we came in from, and it takes all my willpower not to glance back over my shoulder. The cold air hits me like a shock, but it helps clear my head. His hand finds its way to my lower back again as we cut through the trees toward my cabin.
I’ll have less time than I hoped for once we get there; if he even senses something is off… But it only needs to be a few seconds. Just enough to send an SOS.
“So,” Noah says as we approach the cabin. “What essentials do you need?”
I force a laugh, trying not to sound too eager. “Oh, need to grab some clothes, toiletries. You know. Woman things. That time of the month is coming up.”
He nods and opens my door, allowing me in first.
“If you don’t mind, I’d like a bit of privacy to gather my things.” My voice comes out small, but he just shrugs and sits on the couch.
I beeline for my room and fling open the drawer, grabbing my phone. Five percent battery. It’s enough.
As I’m opening the screen and clicking on contacts, I release a small scream when I see it’s blank. Pages of contacts, gone. I thumb to my email. Deleted.
Oh God… flicking over to my socials, they’re also gone, the app blocked from access.
Oh shit… shit, shit, shit. This is bad. Way worse than I thought. Groaning, I throw the phone at the wall. How the fuck had he done this? I figured because he was still nice, didn’t rape me, didn’t force me into anything like that, he could be reasoned with. He could be reasonable.
But nothing about this is reasonable. I muffle another scream as a creak from behind me makes me jump.
“Finding everything okay?” He says, leaning against the door, his arms crossed as he tracks my phone on the floor.
“What the fuck did you do, Noah?”
He shrugs, picking up my phone and sliding it into his pocket. “Made things easier for you.”
My heart hammers in my chest. I sit hard on the edge of the bed, forcing myself to breathe through panic. No contacts. No email. It’s like I’ve disappeared off the planet. “You’ve ruined everything.”
“No,” he says, moving closer with that calm, relentless certainty. “I’ve cleared the way for what’s next.”
I glare at him, defiance rising to replace my fear. “You think if you cut me off from everyone, I’ll just give up and be your little mountain wife? You’re insane.”
“You knew that already.” He sits beside me, dangerously close, like a wolf daring me to bolt.
I stand and turn away from him, trying to think through the shock of this new betrayal. Hobbling together some semblance of a plan is impossible now, and he knows it. He’s watching as I struggle to regain composure.
“We should collect your things and get going,” he says lightly, as if this is all part of some grand adventure we’re taking together. “If you’d like to discuss the receptionist position, we can. But you have gravely disappointed me, Cassidy.”
He’s fucking delusional! Offering me a job! I have a job! I’m a goddamn lawyer and a very good one! What the actual fuck?
Everything in me wants to scream or cry or fight back with words that will hit him as hard as he’s hit me with this stunt. Instead, I grab a duffle bag from the closet and start shoving clothes into it.
“What?” I ask bitterly without turning around. “No cuffs or rope?”
“That depends,” he says softly. “Are you going to make me use them?”
I hate him for being so calm about this. Hate how much control he has over the situation—and over me. But more than anything, I hate how this level of obsession intrigues me.
He’s shown me more passion in the last few days than anyone has in a lifetime. But I just can’t seem to drop the last shred of my old life, not enough to fully embrace giving it all away for a man I hardly know. It’s a constant battle. Like a little devil on one shoulder and the little angel on another.
“I might like it if you do,” I shoot back.
There’s a flash of something dark and hungry in his eyes, gone almost too fast to catch. “If you ask nicely.”
I stare at him, daring him to break this tense standoff. We’re locked in a silent battle of wills, and my defiance only makes him want me more judging by the way his chest is rapidly rising and falling.
“Maybe later,” he says with a smile. “For now, let’s get back before the weather turns.”
I stuff the last of my things into the bag and zip it up with more force than necessary. My anger is a wild animal beneath the surface, but he doesn’t seem worried. If anything, he thrives on it.
Noah stands and reaches for my arm, pulling me toward the door with firm but gentle insistence. “We can try this again when you decide to do as you’re told,” he tells me as we step outside.
I grit my teeth against the anger bubbling in my chest. “That’ll be when hell freezes over.”
“Suit yourself.”
The walk up is slow, both of us silent as the trail winds through towering pines and patches of lingering mist. I’m exhausted from fighting him, fighting myself. Each step is heavy with resignation and a grudging acceptance that this is my life now.
We reach the cabin, its presence both comforting and foreign as Noah opens the door to let me in first. The fire crackles in the corner, warming everything except my stubborn pride.
He closes the door behind us and turns to face me, his expression softer than I expect after what just happened. Like he understands how close I am to breaking—or breaking free.
“Talk to me, Cassidy. I’m confused. I tick every single one of your boxes, and yet you act like I’m a monster.”
“You ARE a monster, Noah! You chopped my ex’s dick off and gave it to me as a present! Just because you’re amazing in bed, doesn’t make up for the fact that you practically kidnapped me, and now I come to find out that you’ve erased my entire life!” I walk up to him, fists clenched as I lash out. The first hit is against his chest, hot tears building in the corner of my eyes as the second comes down.
Soon, I’m beating against his chest, and he just stands there, taking it.
Like he’s my punching bag. Like he wants me to get this out of my system so I will fall even more into his fucked-up way of loving me.
“I don’t want your fucking job,” I scream, my fists banging against muscle and bone and the infuriating calm with which he’s handling this. “I want my life back! My real life!”
He’s silent, letting me exhaust myself against him until my hands slow and my breathing is ragged.
“Are you done?” His voice is gentle, maddeningly so.
And the tears spill over, frustration mingling with the dangerous thrill of being trapped in his gravity. There’s no escape; we both know it.
“No,” I whisper, but it’s a lie. I slump against him, tired of fighting when it gets me nowhere. His arms circle around me and he rubs soothing circles into my back.
“Yes,” he murmurs into my hair, holding me tight as the fight drains out of me. “You are.”
We stand there for what feels like eternity as I let myself lean into his hold. My breath evens out and the anger turns into something else—something closer to acceptance than I want to admit. It’s terrifying how quickly I slip back into needing him after everything he’s done.
“Good girl,” he says softly, stroking my back until the storm inside me calms to a dull roar.
I should hate how much those words make me melt, but all I feel is relief at being wrapped in him so completely.
He picks me up and carries me to the bed, laying me down and kissing my forehead.
“Sleep now, Cassidy. I have something to do and when I’m done, it’s just you and me.”
I’m too tired for a retort, watching through slitted eyelids as he quietly leaves the room.