18. Chapter Seventeen #2
“I just… followed him,” I say. “I wanted to see where he’d take me. I got in his car and let him… watch me when I was home. I sort of always knew he was sick and twisted. But then he told me he was taking me away.”
Gianna’s eyebrows lift. “And?”
“And I never wanted to leave.”
A hush, then Harbor starts laughing, soft at first, then a full-on giggle. “Oh, you’re perfect. He’s going to be so happy.”
Cassidy nods, leaning in, voice conspiratorial. “You know, these men? They’re all the same under the skin. Intense. Obsessive. Violent, sometimes. But they’d burn down the world for us.”
Gianna snorts. “It’s literally so romantic.”
Harbor finishes her coffee in one gulp, wipes her mouth on the back of her hand. “I think they need us more than we need them.”
Cassidy hums, noncommittal. “Maybe. But we need something too.”
Harbor turns to me, eyes narrowed. “What did you need, Julianna?”
“I needed to stop feeling like I was just another set of hands,” I say.
“I wanted to belong to something. Or someone. I don’t know.
Maybe I just wanted to stop fighting for a seat at a table designed to keep me down.
Funny how that works. I feel more powerful when he’s taking from me than I ever did in the OR. ”
Cassidy puts her hand on my forearm, fingers light. “That’s good enough.”
Gianna grins, lifts her mug in a tiny salute. “To not fighting.”
We all drink, even though mine is cold now. It’s the ritual that matters.
They start talking over each other, voices rising and falling, trading stories about the men, the property, the weird stuff that happens on the edge of civilization. Cassidy tells a story about a bear that wandered onto the grounds, and Noah chased it off with a shotgun.
I thought I’d have more issues fitting in, but I don’t. I like these girls. They understand me. Us.
Instead, I start to relax. The pressure in my chest loosens, the urge to run recedes. These women aren’t victims, not really. They’re just as dangerous as the men, maybe more so.
Cassidy sets her mug down, the sound louder than it should be. “Okay, I have to tell you something, but you can’t freak out.”
Harbor gasps, “You’re pregnant.”
Cassidy flushes, nods. “Yeah. I wasn’t going to say anything, but it’s getting obvious.”
Gianna squeals, and Harbor hugs her from the side, almost knocking her off the stool. For a second, the whole bar is just a tangle of arms and hair and laughter.
Cassidy leans into the hug, her smile now totally unguarded. “Noah’s over the moon. I think he’s building a crib out of reclaimed oak or something.”
“Good for you,” I say, surprised that I mean it.
Cassidy looks at me, her eyes bright. “You’ll be next, you know.”
I roll my eyes, but Harbor claps her hands. “We should start a club. No, wait. A cult.”
Gianna raises her mug again. “To the cult.”
Cassidy turns to me, grinning. “So what did you do before all this? Besides saving lives and looking intimidating.”
I think about it. The long hours, the exhaustion, the feeling of being hollowed out, and the secret joy of cutting into a human body and knowing you could put it back together.
“I guess,” I say, “I mostly just worked. Twelve-hour surgeries, days without sleep. Sometimes I’d go weeks without remembering my own name.”
Harbor whistles. “You must be loaded.”
I laugh. “I spent it all on coffee and rent.”
Cassidy shrugs. “Same. Except I spent it on books and shoes. Noah put a ban on me buying shit because we ran out of room for all of them.”
Harbor pulls her hair into a messy ponytail, secures it with a band from her wrist. “You ever miss it? The job, I mean?”
I pause. The answer should be yes. It always was, before. But now, sitting here, I can’t summon the nostalgia.
“Not really,” I say. “Sometimes I miss the precision. The certainty.”
Cassidy nods. “You get that back. Here. Eventually.”
Gianna leans in, dropping her voice. “Can I ask you something?”
“Sure.”
She taps the countertop, the rhythm deliberate. “Are you scared of him?”
The question hangs, heavy.
“No,” I say. “I’m scared of what I’ll do if he leaves me.”
Harbor grins. “See? Perfect.”
Cassidy beams, blue eyes warm. “Told you.”
We sit for a while, sipping coffee and enjoying the rare quiet. The man are relaxed now, just watching us chit chat. Creed catches my eye and my lips upturn in a small smile.
I glance at the three women, their faces open, their hands close enough to touch.
For the first time, I belong somewhere. I belong with people who were pulled into circumstances against their will, but somehow found their purpose.
Just like me
Harbor grins, nudges my arm. “You’re one of us now. Don’t forget it.”
“I won’t,” I say, and this time, I believe it.
By the time the caffeine starts to wear off, we’ve made it through every item of emotional contraband in the vault: exes, traumas, half-buried dreams. The sun is higher now, slicing the room into geometric patches of hot and cold.
There’s a sticky ring of latte around the base of Cassidy’s mug, and Harbor is on her third coffee, this time spiked with enough cream to look like a milkshake.
Cassidy grins, then gestures out the window. “You seen the property yet?”
I shake my head. “Not really.”
“Okay, field trip,” she says, standing and stretching. The hem of her dress flashes a scar on her thigh, pale and knotted. “We each have our own cabins, spaced far enough that you can scream and no one will hear you. Unless you want them to.”
Harbor stands too, grabbing my wrist. “There’s a lake on the far side. Kairo tried to drown me in it once. He’s so romantic.”
Gianna trails behind, pulling a knit wrap around her bare shoulders. “Come on.”
They lead me to the window, then play tour guide, each pointing out the landmarks like we’re on some fucked up episode of House Hunters.
Cassidy starts: “We’re north, through the pines, Noah insisted on the higher ground because he’s a control freak. There’s a waterfall, but it’s frozen half the year.”
Harbor cuts in, gesturing left. “Kairo and I are that way. He built a firepit, but mostly we just burn things we want to forget. You’ll love it.”
Gianna nods, almost shy. “Ours is the one with the sunflowers. Knox said it’s for camouflage, but really it’s because he likes sunflowers. Don’t tell anyone.”
I laugh, can’t help it. “You guys are weird.”
“Takes one to know one,” Harbor says, then grabs a scarf from the table and loops it around my neck, careful not to dislodge the collar. “You need a proper winter coat. Winter is coming and you’ll freeze like that.”
I almost say no, but then I remember the first night here, the weight of Creed’s jacket around my shoulders, the way he pulled it tight as if he could keep the world out just by wanting it enough. I nod. “Sure.”
Cassidy catches my eye, her blue stare glassy and bright. “He’s watching you, you know.”
I turn, and sure enough, Creed is across the room, hands in his pockets, talking to Knox and Noah in low voices. He’s not even trying to hide the fact that he’s tracking my every movement. His eyes flick up, meet mine, and there’s a heat in them that makes my mouth go dry.
Cassidy leans in, voice pitched low. “You can always tell when they’re about to get territorial. If he comes over, it means he thinks we’re recruiting you for our coven.”
Gianna smirks, “He’s not wrong. We’re much more fun.”
Harbor sighs dramatically. “He’s going to ruin it if he drags you back to his lair. So, quick, tell us your worst secret before he gets here.”
The question startles me, but not as much as the fact that I actually want to answer. “When I was sixteen, I almost burned down my parents’ house. On purpose.”
They wait.
“I set a towel on fire in the bathroom. I was mad at my mother. She didn’t even notice, the smoke alarm woke her up, she put it out, and then grounded me for a month. I guess I just wanted to see if I could make something stop existing for once.”
There’s a pause, then all three women start to laugh. Not polite, not forced. Real, raucous, beautiful.
“God, you really are one of us,” Cassidy says, dabbing her eye.
Harbor wraps me in a sideways hug. “I’m so happy right now. Let’s start a rumor that you poisoned your high school boyfriend. I’ll tell Kairo, he loves that shit.”
Gianna leans over the back of the couch, her hair brushing my shoulder. “Now you have to hear ours.”
Cassidy goes first, no hesitation. “I stabbed a man once. Not deep, just enough to prove a point.”
Harbor is next. “I faked my own kidnapping in college to get out of finals. They believed me because I was the weird girl.”
Gianna’s voice is a purr. “I got fired from my first job for stealing narcotics. I didn’t use them, I just liked the power.”
I say, “You’re all insane.”
Gianna shrugs. “Takes a village.”
There’s a lull, and I take the opportunity to glance back at Creed. He’s still staring, but now he’s not even pretending to listen to the other men. When I meet his gaze, he gives me a look that is part warning, part promise, then nods once, slow, deliberate.
Harbor follows my line of sight, then elbows me in the ribs. “You should go to him. He looks like he’s about to snap.”
Cassidy grins. “Or he’s planning a surprise for you. Did he tell you?”
“Tell me what?”
Cassidy exchanges a glance with Harbor, a silent debate. Then: “Never mind. I don’t wanna ruin it.”
Gianna laughs, a dark, velvet sound. “You’ll love it. Or you’ll run screaming. Either way, can’t wait to see.”
A rush of nerves spikes through me, but I tamp it down with another slug of coffee. “You all make it sound so ominous.”
Harbor bites her lip, considering. “It’s not ominous. It’s just… intense. They get like this sometimes. It’s not personal.”
“Except when it is,” Gianna adds, deadpan.
Cassidy nudges my foot under the table. “If you ever need to escape, come to my cabin. Noah will pretend not to see you.”
Gianna arches an eyebrow. “Knox will try to bring you back, but he’s easy to bribe.”
Harbor sighs. “Kairo would just throw you over his shoulder and keep walking. Sorry in advance.”
I shake my head, grinning, feeling the last few flakes of ice melt off the core of me. “Thanks for the warning.”
They all three watch me, and I realize with a kind of terror that they mean it. The offer is real. A way out, or at least a safe house if things get weird. And I believe them, these women, these monsters, are probably the safest thing I’ve ever known.
I head to Creed and ask for his coat, which he gives without hesitation and tell him I’m going on a tour with the girls. He bends down, kissing my head and tells me to be careful. A flush creeps up my chest as I nod and make my way back to the group.
We make our way to the door, and I stop just inside the threshold, the cold seeping through the seams of the glass. I watch Creed for a moment, his profile sharp in the morning sun, the curve of his mouth that never quite smiles. He catches me watching, and this time the look is pure possession.
Cassidy grins, “You okay?”
I think about it. About the years spent not belonging. About the feeling, right now, of being seen, measured, found acceptable.
I nod. “Yeah. I’m good.”
She squeezes my shoulder. “Welcome home.”
I follow them out into the bright, cold day, the sound of laughter trailing behind us like a flag. The wind bites my cheeks, but I don’t care. For the first time in a long time, I don’t feel like I’m running from something. I feel like I’m running toward it.
At the edge of the clearing, I stop and look back. Creed is there, arms folded, gaze locked on mine. Guess the guys can’t let us out of their sight. He doesn’t move, but I can feel him reaching for me anyway, closing the distance with just a look.
Harbor bumps my hip, nearly knocks me over. “He’s really got it bad for you, huh.”
I shrug. “I guess I have that effect.”
Cassidy laughs, and for a moment the world is just girls and ice and the wild promise of whatever comes next.
We walk, and I don’t trip. Not once.
Home. That’s what this is.