14. Emerson #2
It seemed like too much of a coincidence that he was out and threatening me at the same time her stalker decided to as well. I couldn’t ignore it.
My hand reached into the blanket and held her hand.
“I'll keep you safe,” I vowed, looking her straight in the eyes. “Jax, the one you saw earlier? I actually called her because I wanted to up our security.”
“Because of the uninvited guest today?” she asked, her eyes still filled with tears. “That wasn’t… him, right? I just… I was so worried that he’d come and hurt you.”
I shook my head. Now the look she’d given me as I left without an explanation made much more sense.
She had been worried about me. Worried that he would kill me.
“It happens sometimes,” I said and forced a smile. “For a few years, my name has been in the papers because of the success of the company. It brings in a lot of weird people.”
The lie tasted bitter on my tongue, and I wondered if I should just let her know about my father. But this wasn't her issue to worry about. She didn't need to deal with my fucked-up baggage on top of everything else.
“Maybe we should just get rid of the contract.”
Like fuck we will.
“You backing out on me now?” I asked, my voice a little harsher than I meant it. “I thought you were stronger than that, Pearl.”
Her eyes fell to her drink.
“I don't want you to get hurt because of me.”
Shit. Was this how she felt when she figured out the deaths were all because of how obsessed she was with her?
“You’re… worried about me?” I asked, unable to stop myself. I knew she was, but I needed to hear it.
Our gazes locked again.
“It's weird, right? I know I probably shouldn't care about you the way I do, but… I can't help myself. It's been like this since high school. I should've hated you back then, but I've always—” She cut herself off by clearing her throat.
Say it. Say the thing I’ve always dreamed of hearing you say but never dared wish out loud because if I yearned too hard, the universe might make her hate me instead.
Maybe that's why I did everything I did. It was easier to show my feelings with sharp, witty insults and bullying. And if that made Pearl say what she was about to…
I must truly be the luckiest person in the world.
My heart was pounding in my chest. Heat spread up my face and neck.
“You’ve always, what? Don't back down now, Pearl.”
Her face reddened. Her eyes cast down and then back up to me. She was still hesitating, but I could see my Pearl in there, gathering her courage.
She had it. I know she did. She just needed to find it, and I was begging her to. Because I had said more than I meant to last night, and I almost regretted it. Especially when she didn’t react to it at all.
“I like you, Emerson,” she whispered. “I always have.”
It was such a simple, innocent confession.
One would think that after everything we had done together, those words would do nothing for me. I had had her in ways I never thought I would. I had degraded her. I had seen her at her most vulnerable. Naked, body and soul.
But this was what made my whole world implode.
It never occurred to me that Pearl—or anyone else—might actually like me. No matter how much I wanted it. I never thought it was in the cards for me or that I deserved any of it.
Girls wanted me all the time. For my looks. My money. For how I could make them feel.
But like me? As a person? Not really.
I had always been in love with Pearl Meadows. It was completely irrational and unorthodox. She and I were not supposed to be together. All we shared was a high school hallway.
But that never stopped me. I hated it. Hated how she controlled my life.
And like seemed like such a childish word it almost made me angry, but fuck, did I love hearing her say it.
I’d never felt like this before. This addictive warmth in my chest made me feel giddy. I wanted to run. I wanted to scream from the rooftops. I wanted to throw it in everyone's face that Pearl Meadows liked me and no one else.
It felt a lot like winning. And Pearl was the only prize that ever mattered to me.
The word makes me… hope.
Hope that I could keep her. That we wouldn’t need a contract to be with each other. That may be one day she would choose to stay with me, not out of money or pleasure, but because she simply wanted to.
But the courage that she had gathered for that confession quickly dissipated, and panic crossed her features. She shifted nervously in her chair before the ramblings started.
“Pearl…”
“Oh my gosh, I shouldn't have said that. It's so stupid. Please forget—”
I placed my hand over her mouth to stop her.
“Pearl Meadows, you're not lying to me, are you? You're saying that you've always had a crush on me?”
I ended it with a smirk, but inside, butterflies unleashed in my stomach. I was nervous she’d take it back or something. Like I was still dreaming and questioning it would only bring disaster.
She nodded.
I slowly removed my hand only to cover the same spot with my lips. She kissed me back, but it wasn't the same type of kiss we'd been sharing up until now.
It was slow, sensual, like we were taking our time. This wasn't need. It felt like we were talking, like I was confessing every single thing I ever wanted to say to her in one single kiss.
I pulled away, finding it hard to breathe.
“And you?” she asked breathlessly.
Goddamn it, didn’t she hear what I said last night?
I swallowed all my nerves and every part of my being that was screaming at me not to say anything.
“There's a reason why I sought you out every day. A reason… why I was mean to you even. I don’t expect you to understand, but… There's a reason why as soon as I found you again, I wanted to make sure you were mine. Do you understand what I'm saying, Pearl?”
She nodded, though I could tell in her eyes that she wanted more. She wanted me to say it just like she had, even if I summed it all up as only like.
But I couldn’t. Not now.
“I’m scared,” she said after a moment when she realized I wasn't going to continue. “He's dangerous, and I don't want you to get hurt.”
“We're both going to be safe,” I promised. “Trust me on this, okay?”
“Okay.”
I would make sure that he would stay far away from her. But not just him, my father as well. For Pearl, I would do whatever it took.