Hush Anonymous (Longwood U #5)

Chapter 1

KYLEN WHITAKER

The guy hands me his card, and I look at the name.

Cole. I inwardly cringe. Yes, that’s traditionally a boy’s name, but my twin being named Kole makes me wince literally every time I meet a man with that name.

The way Kole stares at the Cole intruders always has them withering. The thought alone makes me grin.

I tap the field where the dropdown is to find his name and nod toward the bowl, allowing him to choose his key. Depending on my mood, sometimes I don’t give them a choice. It’s not like I choose who takes the keys in the next round, so it is truly guided by fate or something.

Cole retrieves the key attached to a red ribbon. I nod, and Toby leads him down a hall toward the red door while I attach ‘red’ to his name in the system and move on to a new entry.

Hush Anonymous is a key party, but unlike your typical key parties, this is truly anonymous for our guests.

They’re led into a room, and from the moment the last person enters their room, there are ten minutes between the time that door is shut and the lights go off.

They’re plunged into darkness, and their entire encounter remains that way—allowing for absolute anonymity.

Its brother adventure is simply called Hush.

It works the same way, but with the lights on and the adventure being recorded for the frat’s paid subscription platforms. Much like Rumor: gay chicken with paid milestones for the winner, and Confessions: our adult film studio, Hush is an entrepreneurial endeavor by our frat house—Delta Iota Kappa, or DIK.

Hush is my contribution. A year and a half ago, my twin sister and childhood friend, Nolan, helped me get all the ducks in a row to get it off the ground.

It’s been wildly successful since then. We’re talking about expanding to other ideas too, like playing out anonymous fantasies, such as groupies and gang bangs and shit.

It’ll be a partnership between Hush Anonymous and a new venture that my frat brothers Otto and Otis are trying to put together with their on-and-off fuck-buddy frat brother, Evan—a new kink club that they’re struggling to find a name for.

Their kink club will also have a public chapter of education and community within the school, which I think is really cool. Not that I’m interested in it. Just thinking about it makes my cheeks burn. Shocking, I know. I’m easily flustered and flushed.

Another man steps inside, and I recognize him, though I pretend not to until he smiles and says, “Hey, Kylen.”

I return his smile and tap to find his name in the dropdown. Sebby, which matches the card he’s offering me. “Hi. You can choose a key.”

He leans over and peers into the basket. “Ah. I’m nearly first. Which is the best room?”

The weight of the key attached to the green ribbon sits heavily in my pocket. In my opinion, the green room is my favorite. However, my second is the brown room. I tell him so, and he fishes out the brown key. Dean is waiting, and I wave him along, wishing him a good time.

Generally speaking, we’re booked ahead of time for both sessions—those who arrive first and wait in the rooms, and those who arrive second to join them.

There’s a pre-registration process with waivers and shit.

Mostly, the NDA and the rules are mandatory.

Both have a questionnaire that follows, quizzing them about what they’ve read to ensure that they’ve read it.

Consent and privacy are the backbone of Hush.

Then there’s a small fee for Hush Anonymous. Mostly, it’s ensuring that there are always adequate supplies stocked in each room. $20 per visit.

Contrarily, Hush is the opposite. Our visitors are paid, just as they are with Rumor and Confessions, because we record their performances and post them online for profit.

When eleven men have gone through the doors and gotten settled, I put myself into the last room and assign the green key to myself. I stare at my name with my finger hovering over the ‘submit’ button.

Chills crawl along my skin. I can’t believe I’m doing this.

Secretly, in a place so deep and private that I haven’t even shared it with my twin, I concocted Hush Anonymous for me.

I wanted a safe space for me to get fucked.

With rules and boundaries that I trust. I wanted the darkness because seeing someone felt far too overwhelming. Like if I’m seen, they’ll judge me.

At least if I’m anonymous, no one will know who their partner is if they’re the worst fuck they’ve ever had. Which I will be. I’ve never done this before.

Swallowing, I close my eyes and wonder if I can convince myself that today is the day. I want to. I’m so. Fucking. Horny. I hate masturbating. I desperately want to feel good and shove all the bad memories away.

“Kylen?”

I jerk out of my thoughts and meet Toby’s eyes.

“You ready?”

Before I can talk myself out of it, I hit submit and hand Toby the phone. “Yes. Give me the spiel.” From my pocket, I dig out the green key and hand it over.

He grins. “I think you can recite it in your sleep. Come on.” Toby turns, and I follow him down the hall, heart racing so loudly in my ears that I barely hear the words he says next.

“You have ten minutes before the lights go out. Get undressed, get comfortable, and familiarize yourself with where the supplies are. Most of the furniture is secured, so there won’t be any accidents.

The lights in the hall turn off when the lights in the rooms do; you’ll only have the dim safety lights that illuminate enough to show you the outlines of furniture, but not enough to see.

Your partner for the afternoon will be completely anonymous, but remember, a no of any kind is no. Understand?”

I nod. “Yes.”

“The door automatically locks when shut. You need a key to get in from the outside, so there won’t be any accidental interruptions if someone forgets to lock the door.

You will have up to four hours, though you’re welcome to leave before the time is up.

There is a clock on the wall in the room with luminescent numbers and arms. The next wave comes in at exactly one, so you will have until five to enjoy each other. Following?” Toby smirks at me.

“Yes,” I agree, rolling my eyes at his amusement. Of course, I know everything he’s saying. I have been a part of making the rules from the inception of Hush and determining what we repeat out loud to our clients.

Still. I appreciate hearing them. If for no other reason than it helps me calm my nerves.

“Exit procedure is as follows: one of you leaves first. The other waits a few minutes and then follows. I’ll be at the door to record you leaving.”

We stop in front of the door with a green ribbon hanging from the handle. He uses the key that I kept in my pocket to unlock the door and push it open. “You good?”

Taking a breath, I try to give him what I hope is a nonchalant smile. “Yep. Thanks.”

Toby winks. “Have fun.”

My smile remains firmly in place as he shuts the door. I hear it click and then stare at the handle. Blood whooshes loudly in my ears. My hand lands on the door as I sway slightly. Fuck.

I turn into the room and look around. There’s nothing particularly luxurious about this room compared to the others.

All the rooms are the same, really. They have a large bed with nightstands on either side.

On top of the nightstands, in containers that are secured down, are condoms and a whole variety of different lubricants.

In the drawers of the nightstands are sex toys.

Mostly basic, but some are a little adventurous.

On the far side of the room is a buffet table. The opposite side has a chair, and just inside the door is another high table. Besides the nightstands, there isn’t anything on the surfaces.

Nerves and anxiety bubble inside me, making my hands shake. My fingertips feel cold while my palms sweat. I rub them on my pants and make my noodly legs bring me toward the buffet table on the far side of the room.

Methodically, I peel out of my clothes while taking a quick look at the clock on the wall. Four minutes have gone by. Another six and the lights go out. It’ll be only minutes after that when someone comes in. Someone I’m going to lose my virginity to.

My cock is confused as fuck as I peel my underwear off. I’m horny, but my stomach flips, and my hands shake with nerves. Awkwardly, I climb onto the bed and move between the edge and the middle. Both feel awkward. I end up somewhere close to the middle, but still off to one side.

God, I feel weird lying on the bed, straight and stiff like a pencil. My cock is still confused as hell, unsure if it wants to be hard or not. I might be sick. I might back out. I might have an orgasm before the afternoon is out.

The lights turn off, and I’m momentarily plunged into darkness so dense that I can’t see anything.

I gasp. A fresh wave of chills races along my body.

My cock decides we like the darkness and takes this opportunity to become a little harder.

My hands are clenched at my sides as I try to keep the tremor from them.

No one wants to come into a room expecting sex and finding a whimpering mess of nerves and anxiety. I don’t know how to be sexy, so I’m not even going to try. Besides, it’s not like they can see me. Which means it’s the perfect opportunity to try sexy because they can’t laugh when I fail.

My eyes slowly adjust, and I see the dim outlines of the furniture around the room. Nothing bright enough to cast any light. They glow only enough to tell you where the edges are. We had enough stubbed toes and banged knees to find a way to circumvent that.

I raise my hand, and I can’t see it. Not really. I know where it is, and I think my brain thinks it sees my hand moving because I know it’s moving. I’m not sure I see it at all, though. It’s dark. “Anonymous,” I whisper.

As if my voice triggered something, I hear the key in the doorknob, and my body tenses. A fresh wave of shivers skitters down my spine, and I squeeze my eyes closed tightly. Oh my god. This is happening. This is finally happening. I’m not going to die a virgin. My only experience isn’t going to be—

I forcefully cut my thoughts off. No. Nope. Not going there. That has no place here.

The door opens, and my eyes snap wide. I catch a faint red light through the open door, and a shadow moves inside before the door clicks closed. We’re plunged into silence. Everything is so still, so quiet that I wonder if he somehow saw me and turned around, demanding a new room. A new partner.

The idea he did has me attempting to force the tension from my body. No one wants to fuck a corpse. I might as well be one with how locked up my muscles are right now.

I jerk when I hear movement. It’s quiet, and I strain to listen to all the little sounds. A soft thunk, like he discarded his shoes. The rustling of fabric follows. Silence, and then something scrapes.

I’m practically hyperventilating by the time I feel the bed dip. There’s a chance a squeak escapes my mouth. My skin heats at the awful, embarrassing sound. Thank fuck he can’t see me right now. I would burst into flames.

This is exactly why I wanted a place like this. He’s not judging my red cheeks and the anxiety that’s likely shining from my eyes like flashlights. He can’t see the way I’m breathing or clenching my fists into the bed.

The bed dips more, and I feel him crawling toward me. His hand touches my wrist, and I almost yelp. Thankfully, I manage to keep the sound to myself, though I’m sure he doesn’t miss the way I jump.

His hand pauses, but then moves along my arm, leaving gooseflesh in a trail behind his touch. My lips part as I try to catch my breath and calm my heart. His hand moves to my stomach, flattening over my tense abs.

He hums, the first vocalization he’s made, and I think I’m going to pass out.

Slowly, his hand smooths up my stomach, my chest. He momentarily wraps it around my neck, and my fucking heart almost stops entirely.

His hold is loose but secure, and then he’s cupping the side of my face as he comes down beside me.

I can’t see him. I can’t even see him as a dark shadow. My eyes strain all the same to see him hovering over me. He’s there. My body knows he’s there. It’s entirely disorienting that I can’t see him, though.

His thumb moves along my jaw, over my trachea, over my lips, and I inhale sharply. “Are you okay?” he asks, voice low. Quiet. “You feel… scared.”

Oh god. How awful. My cheeks flame so hot that I imagine he feels it under his touch.

“I’m s-sorry,” I murmur. “I’m nervous. I’ve never done this before—Hush, I mean.”

I think he nods. I don’t know why I think that, but it feels like he does. I’m startled when his lips touch mine. Firm, leaving no room for question, but still loose enough that I can push him away.

“Do you have any hard limits?” he asks.

“Uh… d-don’t suck my dick. Please.”

There’s a pause before he clarifies, “Don’t suck your dick. Did I hear you right?”

I nod, knowing he can feel it with his hand still cupping the side of my head. “Y-yes. Uhm… no mouth… on my dick.”

More silence. “No mouth on your dick,” he reiterates.

There’s something almost familiar about his voice, but I’m so fucking jittery and amped up on nerves that I think the only person I’d recognize is Nolan or someone I grew up with.

Someone whose voice I know as well as my own.

I can’t brush off the feeling that he’s familiar, but not familiar enough that I recognize his voice all on its own.

“No mouth between your legs,” he says. “Anything else?”

This is where I should tell him I’m a virgin, right? Instead of doing that, I shake my head. “No,” I whisper.