Chapter 3
KYLEN
I don’t wear makeup often, but as I stare at my reflection in the mirror—at all the bruises and bites on my neck—I think I need to. It’s too warm to wear a shirt with a high collar. Too warm to wear a hoodie.
There’s a distinct bruise wrapping my neck that is unmistakably a hand. Like I was choked. Licking my lips, I shift so I can look at all the marks on my shoulders.
Heat pools in my gut and my cock jumps with excitement. Yeah, I know. That was hotter than it had any right to be.
If someone had asked me if I was into a crazy-long fuck filled with harsh thrusts, bites, and bruises, I’d have cringed away.
I’d have run away. But that man—the anonymous man who talked me through the entire four hours of fucking me—knew exactly what I liked.
He knew what I liked far beyond anything I could ever tell him.
Better still, he didn’t touch my dick. Not beyond the first time his fingers ran down my body.
No matter what position he moved me in, he didn’t touch my dick.
He worked my ass and his cock to hit all the potently intense spots inside me, and I came hands-free multiple times while he continued to fuck me like an animal.
I like it hard. I like it fast. I like it slow. I like it deep. I like the way he pinned me down and how he wrapped me tight. I liked every damn word that came out of his mouth, whether it was instruction or praise or the possessive claims he made at the end.
I loved the way he came. The feral sounds he made. How he gripped me so tightly as he came in my body, filling the condom, that I couldn’t do anything but take it.
It’s been two days, and my body fucking hurts. All of it. Yet, I’m already wondering when I can go back. The only thing holding me back is knowing that the next time I go back, it won’t be to him. Will I even like sex with someone else?
This guy was the perfect combination of confident, patient, pushing me further, but willing to back off when I needed a breath. He did so without my telling him I was overwhelmed. He knew. It was like he was in my head.
Sighing, I open the mirror and pull out my sister’s makeup.
One of the perks to having a twin is that I don’t need to know anything about choosing the right shades of makeup and guessing what will look good on me.
Kole has my genetics. She has the same skin tone.
The same facial features. I’ve watched her apply makeup to herself enough over the years to know what I’m doing.
Not only that, but I’ve also let her put it on me almost as much as I’ve watched her. So has our older brother, Lathan, and our six dads. Kole has done all our makeup. She’s also demanded photoshoots once we’re all dolled up.
I smile at the memory as I go through the motions of trying to cover the handprint.
I don’t care about the bite marks or the hickeys.
I’m concerned about Kole seeing the handprint though.
She’s protective of her family on a good day.
She’s downright demonic about protecting me.
I've hidden for two days but we have class today so there's no more hiding.
Her knock on the door has me jerking away from the mirror. The handle rattles, and then she gripes. “Kylen! You’ve been in there for an hour. Jerk off in your own room and let me get ready for class.”
I roll my eyes and glance at my reflection in the mirror. Fuck. I can’t do this. Sighing, I cross the bathroom to the door that leads to her room and flip the lock to throw it open. Her eyes immediately land on my neck, and her eyes narrow dangerously.
“It was fully consensual,” I say hurriedly.
Kole’s lips press together, and she stares into my eyes for a minute. Waiting for me to tell her it wasn’t. Waiting for a reason to rage and kill someone.
I’ve always thought Kole was one incident away from becoming a murderer.
I was pretty sure her first victim was going to be Kelsey Davenport a couple of years ago.
With the way she fucked around on Nolan, cheated on him, threw a tantrum on the frat’s front lawn, and all kinds of even nastier bullshit… it was close. Fucking close.
Nolan might as well be our brother. He’s the youngest son of our uncles, and we grew up next door to him. Even if he’s not related by blood, he is family, and Kole was ready to throw down.
Up to that point, our frat brothers quietly tossed around calling Kole the demon twin when she wasn’t looking. When she was just out of earshot. After all, she moved herself into our fraternity as soon as I was inducted, not giving the guys a choice. Where I go, she goes.
Honestly, I was surprised they didn’t kick me out because of her.
They didn’t, and now she’s the one and only frat sister.
They still call her our brother, though.
But anyway, after the Kesley thing, she’s no longer called the demon twin under their breaths.
They say it loud and proud. And a little terrified.
Kole isn’t entirely convinced, but she nods toward the toilet. “Sit. Let me fix it.”
Sighing in relief, I do. And then regret sitting without paying attention because the twinge in my ass is loud, reminding me how good I lost my virginity. I try very hard not to wince because I’m all too aware of my sister’s eyes on me. When I look up, she’s watching me closely.
“I… had sex,” I say, feeling the way my cheeks burn. “And—I can’t express this enough—consensually.”
Kole frowns. “You’re looking a little beat up for a consensual first time.”
“Don’t judge how I like to be fucked,” I snap. The strong words coming out of my mouth contradict the way my face heats.
She gently tips my face up and examines the marks on my neck. “Kylen…”
“I like being choked,” I insist.
Her lips are pressed together as she examines my neck.
I can only imagine how she’s going to look at me when she looks at my back or at my ribs.
There are literally bruises and a few scratches all over my torso, hips, and thighs.
I’m only interested in covering my neck though. The rest will disappear under my shirt.
Kole doesn’t speak as she gently covers the fingerprints on my neck. It doesn’t take her long, and though I watch what she pulls out of the makeup bag, I know I won’t be able to repeat what she does. I’m going to sweat my ass off in hoodies until these go away.
“So… you lost your virginity, did you?” she asks, and I smile through my blush because she’s not good at pretending she likes this conversation. To be fair, I know it’s not the topic that bothers her. It’s the bruises covering me.
“I did.”
“And?”
“And what?”
Kole rolls her eyes. “Are you telling me you liked it because you look like someone kicked your ass and you don’t want me to lose my shit, or did you actually like it?”
When her hands come off me, I grip her waist and press my forehead to her stomach. Her arms immediately wrap around me, and I feel her relax. “It was so good,” I whisper. “I didn’t think I’d like sex as much as I did.”
Her body tenses, and I know that’s not something I should have said. But Kole doesn’t address it. Instead, she asks, “That good, huh?”
“Yeah. I mean, it hurt a little at first.” No matter how much I talk to my sister about anything, I will never not be continuously red.
Honestly, it’s horrifying. I’m mortified at the way I’m always blushing.
At least with Kole, it’s not so debilitating because she’s my sister.
My twin. My Kole. “But he was so… perfect about it. He was careful, and he talked to me, and he made me come so many times, Kole.” I sigh.
She snorts. “Oh, yeah?”
I nod and look up at her. She smirks when I meet her face, and I know she’s looking at my red cheeks. While I’m risking her suspicion with my words again, I say, “I didn’t think anything could feel that good. I… didn’t want it to end.”
Kole’s smile turns into a frown. Her fingers move through my hair, and she sighs. “Who was it?”
“You want to threaten him, don’t you?” I accuse.
She doesn’t deny it.
“Unfortunately for you, I don’t know.” She tenses again, eyes narrowing, so I quickly continue. “I went to Hush Anonymous. I’m far too awkward to… You know.” My face heats again, and I bury it in her stomach.
Kole laughs quietly, her fingers once more moving through my hair. She sighs. “I knew there was a reason you organized Hush,” she says, amused.
“Yeah, well. No one can look at my embarrassment and awkwardness and judge me if they can’t see me,” I say defensively.
“Kylen,” she says quietly. That soft voice that says she’s sad for me.
I wrap my arms around her, hugging her and keeping my face pressed into her bed shirt.
“I’m fine,” I say. “Really. Yes, you’re right.
I had an ulterior motive in creating Hush Anonymous.
It was selfish, and I’m not sorry about it.
I’m not sorry about how I lost my virginity either.
It was seriously perfect.” I raise my face, ignoring the constant burn on my skin, to meet my twin’s eyes.
“I wouldn’t change a thing, and if I had to do it again, I would. ”
Kole searches my eyes, and I let her. No guards. No half-truths. I let her look her fill, and eventually she nods. “Okay.”
“Thanks for supporting me,” I say.
She rolls her eyes and steps back, forcing me to drop my arms to my lap. That brings her attention to the bruises on my arms. My stomach. My ribs. Once again, I see her eyes flash with anger. She moves around me, and I don’t bother to hide my back. Even when she hisses her irritation.
“I liked every moment,” I remind her. “I like remembering his hands on me and how much he made me feel good.”
Good orgasms. I’ve only ever known bad orgasms, and I didn’t think there was ever going to be a difference.
Those words don’t leave my mouth. I say, “I’d do it again. I’d like to do it again. In the dark, of course.”
Kole huffs. Without a word, she finishes my neck. By the time she’s done and I look at my reflection in the mirror, I’m surprised. There’s literally no sign of the fingerprints. I turn my face, feeling a little disappointed that I don’t see even a hint of them.
“Wow,” I say and turn to look at her. “How many times have you had to cover a bruise, Kole?”
She smirks. “Cute that you think I’m the least bit submissive.”
I scrunch my face as an unwelcome glimpse of her pegging our frat brothers rushes through my head unbidden.
Ew. Don’t get me wrong. I grew up in a very inclusive house.
The kind of house where love is love isn’t conditional at all.
Regardless of who it’s between. However, for me?
Not my sister. Not my brother. Not my fathers.
No way. No, thank you. In fact, I don’t think I could do the kind of age gap that Nolan is. It feels far too uneasy for me.
Oh, god. What if the guy who fucked me was a teacher?!
Kole looks at me, and I see her frown. “What’s with the alarm, Kylen?”
“First, I pictured you pegging the whole frat house. Now I’m momentarily horrified that the guy who fucked me might have been a professor. I’m not into guys who could be my daddy.”
At first, she stares at me blankly. Then she bursts out laughing. “I don’t even want to know how those two connections were made.”
“You didn’t deny pegging our frat brothers!” I whine.
She smirks. “Not all of them. Only those who ask nicely.”
“Oh my god, ew.”
Kole laughs again and shoves me toward the door. “Get out. I’m going to be late for class now.”
I turn when I’m in my room and kiss her cheeks. “Thanks, Kole.”
Her smile softens. “I’m glad you found a way to get beyond your anxiety. I might not… have chosen this for your first time for you.” She gestures to all of me. “But I’m going to trust that you had the opportunity to say no if you wanted to. I’m choosing to take this conversation at face value.”
“Good. That’s all I want.”
“Tonight, you’re going to give me details. But seriously, go away. I’m going to be late.” She shuts the door in my face, and I grin as I turn to my room.
There’s a fine line between when something is cringy with my sister and when it’s not.
I’ve never cared what we talk about. We haven’t found topics that feel too…
intimate. In large, I think that’s because of our larger family.
Our fathers. The neighborhood we grew up in.
Even though I’m a bit of a wallflower, I am open-minded.
It’s a little weird when she tells me about her sexcapades, but only when I know the person involved. I think she’s changed the names several times, so I didn’t know who she was talking about. That way we could still talk and I wouldn’t be grossed out.
As I’m getting dressed, I think that maybe she’s always talked so freely about sex because I have always been so closed to it. I didn’t want anyone to touch me, but I had questions. She made sure she provided a conversation where I could ask questions.
As I step into my pants and wince at the twinge in my ass, I realize how fortunate I am to have my sister. She’s taken care of me my whole life. Even when she didn’t know I needed it. Especially then.
I wonder how long this ache in my ass is going to last. A part of me wants to go back to Hush Anonymous. I want to see if sex with another man is going to feel as good as it did with the first one. Maybe I’ll never feel that good again. Maybe it was a one-and-done.
Either way, I need to know.
Grabbing my bag, I leave my bedroom and head downstairs. The kitchen is full of frat brothers, and someone hands me an omelet. I’m not even sure who, as people move around. I say a quick thanks and turn toward the dining room, but not before catching Arek Van Doren watching me.
I meet his eye, and his narrow as he stares. My shoulders tense, and a chill of unease covers me. I turn away and hurriedly leave the kitchen. That man is fucking terrifying, and I don’t even know why.