Chapter 34
AREK
I can honestly say that in my lifetime, I’ve never witnessed something quite like this. All six of Kylen’s fathers have tears in their eyes. His brother and sister do too. There’s a combination of agony and fury. I recognize the fury for what it is. I’ve felt it and seen it many times.
The agony I’m guessing at, and this is based solely on my observations of Kole in the two instances that I’ve seen her cry—the night I demanded their teacher’s name and last night in my car.
I believe they didn’t know. I can see that now. I still don’t understand why they didn’t see that something was wrong.
Silence fills the room as Kylen tries to burrow himself into my chest. I do my best to hide him from the world. If I thought it would bring him comfort, I’d assure him she died painfully.
“We’re so sorry,” Quin says quietly. He stands over us and places his hand on Kylen’s head. “We should have… known. We should have protected you better.”
I feel Kylen’s swallow. “I don’t really want to talk about it,” Kylen whispers. “I know you didn’t know. At the time, I thought you did, and it was too late by the time I understood you didn’t, and now I just… want it all to stay in my past. I don’t want to talk about it.”
Quin stares at Kylen, hidden in my hoodie. He meets my eyes, his red and glassy. “Okay,” he says quietly. “We’ll respect that.”
Each of his fathers rests their hand on him briefly, acknowledging his request. His pain. Maybe his trauma, too. Kole ignores me entirely and wraps herself around Kylen for several minutes. Lathan does the same, giving me a small smile. It’s the first time we’ve met, after all.
Kylen doesn’t come out of my hoodie. In fact, I’m confident that he fell asleep at some point that afternoon. People came and went, and I think every single one of them knew. I find I’m slightly pissed off about it. Nothing like being ten years too late to see that he suffered.
The only one who came close to us was Nolan. He wrapped himself around both of us, hugging tightly. Kylen was awake at that point. Maybe just long enough for Nolan to hug him.
“I love you, Ky,” he murmured. “I’d kill her again if I had the chance.”
I nod in agreement. Definitely. Hands down. She deserves to die over and over and over again.
The day passes slowly, and Kylen keeps himself shut away, hidden in my hoodie and secure in my hold. He sleeps for most of it, I think. Based on his even breathing and the dead weight of his body, I think he sleeps a lot.
When he eventually wakes up, it’s just his family in the room.
Kylen lifts his head up, and I smile because I can only see his nose sticking out of the small hole of my tightly cinched hood.
He rubs his face through it, and I’m not the only one snickering at him.
I think I even catch a shy smile through the cracks in the hood at the response.
He slowly pulls it open and blinks in the muted light. There’s a fire in the fireplace, and the Christmas tree lights are on. There are a few candles lit throughout the room, too. It’s dim and smells like Douglas fir and cinnamon. I don’t hate this at all.
Kylen looks around at his fathers and siblings. Then he turns to look at me. “I have to pee,” he says.
“Oh, good,” I say and push him to his feet. “I’ve had to pee for three hours.”
He rolls his eyes. “Why didn’t you wake me up?”
I press a soft kiss to his forehead. “Not a chance. Let’s go.”
He takes a step and then tenses. I try not to grin too smugly when he glances at me with barely concealed horror. I touch the red-hot blotches on his cheek. Yep, he just remembered the butt plug.
We go to Kylen’s room and take turns pissing and washing our hands. He doesn’t ask to take the plug out. I’d have let him, given how emotional the day has been. But he doesn’t, and I love that.
Kylen brings me to the kitchen, and we grab a couple waters before joining his family again and retaking our seats on the couch. Kylen sits beside me, but he’s so close that he might as well be on my lap again.
No one says anything as they watch Kylen. Eventually, he sighs. “Can we just pretend that didn’t happen, please? I really want to enjoy Christmas, and you all staring at me like I’m going to shatter isn’t going to make it enjoyable.”
Kole climbs onto the couch and curls up against his side. She doesn’t say anything, and after a minute, Kylen relaxes too.
“Want to watch a movie?” Quin asks.
Kylen releases a relieved breath. “Yes.”
“How about dinner?” Zarek asks.
“Yes, please. I’m starving.”
Zarek untangles himself from where he and Sage are sitting with Quin and gets to his feet. Quin puts on a holiday movie before joining Zarek. It isn’t long before all six dads leave the room to help get dinner ready.
Lathan turns his body to face us, and I feel Kylen tense.
“Unless you’re going to tell us all your secrets, we’re not talking,” Kole says sternly before Lathan can say anything. “We’re watching a movie.”
“I think I should still be introduced to the boyfriend,” Lathan says, smirking in our direction.
Kylen releases a loud breath. “Arek, Lathan. Lathan, Arek,” Kylen says, waving his hand between his brother and me.
I incline my head. Lathan flashes a big smile in our direction.
“I’ve noted that your family is kind of overseen by your father, Quin,” I note. “But you don’t carry his surname.”
“You know his surname?” Kylen asks, raising his eyes to mine.
“The twin dads call him Stommer, which I’m assuming is his surname. It’s said in the same way everyone addresses me by my surname.”
Kole snorts. “It’s born from an old, long-dead animosity between our twin dads and Daddy Quin,” she says. “Yes, his last name is Stommer. So is our dad Simon’s. When they got married, Dad Simon took our Dad Quin’s last name. Dad Sage took our twin dads’ last name.”
“And your father, Zarek?”
“He has a whole alphabet of degree letters after his name, so technically speaking, he kept Weaver, but because it irritates our twin dads, he generally goes by Whitaker,” Kole says, amusement loud in her voice.
“They chose your surname based on the majority in the house?” I guess.
All three Whitaker kids laugh.
“Actually, that’s probably what happened,” Lathan says. “Growing up, we were always told that it ‘made the most sense’ and since we were kids, we just went with it.” He uses air quotes around the four words, and his twin siblings nod.
We talk about their dads for a while. They relay to me their parents’ history and how they got together, and I can tell that it’s the story that has been made appropriate for children.
There are a lot of holes that they either don’t recognize or have come to accept them for as much of the truth as they’re going to have.
“Tell Lathan how your dads got together,” Kylen says, giving me an amused smirk.
“My dad Loren stalked my dad Oakley and then saved him from a serial killer,” I report.
Kylen sits up and stares at me. “What?”
“I’ve told you that. A couple times now.”
“Not with the addition of a serial killer,” Kole says, frowning.
“Oh. People get weird about that, so yeah, I tend to leave it off. There was a serial killer roaming around southern Arizona in the early 2020s. He strangled his victims and then hung them in alleys. Are you familiar?”
All three of them shake their heads.
“Well… the police weren’t close to finding him, and one day, my dad Oakley was texting one of his besties—who is now my Uncle Brek—and wasn’t paying attention to where he was going.
He walked straight into the killer’s hunting ground.
Dad says he had this really bright, neon backpack, and that’s what my dad Loren saw in the alley.
He got to my dad Oakley just in time to save his life. ”
“How did he do that?” Kole asks, narrowing her eyes.
I grin, and I know she knows.
“How did he do that?” Kylen repeats.
I shrug. “It’s not the first crazy fucker my dad Loren saved my dad Oakley from. Now it’s his personal mission in life to keep my dad Oakley safe. He says it’s a full-time job, which we all find funny because there’s no safer place than on the Van Doren Estate.”
“They tied the guy who almost killed your dad to the other murders?” Lathan asks.
“Yes. Once dad Oakley was coherent enough to remember the details, he told my dad and grandfather, and they relayed it to the police.” That’s the official statement anyway. “That’s how all the dots were connected. All serial killers save trophies, after all. It’s like a sick compulsion.”
Our conversation on serial killers is interrupted when we’re called to dinner.
We eat in the big dining room around their huge table that’s decorated all fancy and homey for the holiday.
Kole and Lathan fill in their fathers about how my fathers got together, and I receive more than a couple of side eyes.
After dinner, we take dessert into the living room and sit around the tree. I’ll have to wrap presents when Kylen falls asleep tonight. Or just make him keep his back to me while I wrap them with him in the room. I like that idea. Maybe I’ll just blindfold him.
We keep holiday movies on, but everyone talks about whatever. There’s some harassing Lathan about what he gets up to. He’s a master of brushing off the questions, though. He’s as unlike his twin siblings as he could be.
Kylen and Kole are polar opposites. Kylen is shy, quiet, and lacks any kind of confidence at all.
Kole is loud, secure, and sure of herself in everything.
Lathan is reserved but not bashful. He has a calm demeanor with an easy smile and is not easy to ruffle.
There’s something almost relaxing about him.
It’s past eleven when Kylen finally gets to his feet and drags me with him. He hugs all his fathers and siblings. I’m impressed when not a single one of them mentions his abuser. With my hand in his, Kylen leads me from the room with a goodnight.
However, he pauses at the mouth of the hall. I can already see the pink creeping into his chin. He steps up to me and peeks over my shoulder at his family behind me. I’m sure they only see his eyes.
“I know you didn’t know, and I know that if you did, you’d have protected me.
It’s not your fault. I know that I have some lasting trauma, and I could probably benefit from therapy or something, but I promise you, I’m okay.
I’m happy. I’m safe. I’m never in a situation where my consent isn’t heard and sought.
I know you want to ask questions, and maybe someday I’ll be in a place where I’m comfortable talking about it.
But I’m not right now, so I’d really, really appreciate it if we could just…
ignore it. We don’t need to pretend it didn’t happen, but I want to forget it. Okay?”
I hug Kylen tightly to me, feeling the way his heart hammers in his chest.
“Yes,” one of his dads says. It’s quiet enough that I can’t identify which of them is speaking without looking at their faces.
“I know you know, but we’re so sorry, Ky. We let you down and—”
“Don’t,” Kole says. “He said he didn’t want to talk about it. Respect that, Dad.”
Silence, tense and thick, fills the room.
“I love you, and I don’t hold it against you,” Kylen says quietly. “I didn’t then, and I don’t now.”
His arms tighten, and he pulls himself up to wrap his legs around my waist. I grip his thighs but feel when he grunts, so I slide my hand between his ass cheeks to push his plug back into place. He turns his burning face into my neck, and I fail at not grinning like a crazy person.
His family returns his love, and I bring Kylen from the room. The hall is dark and quiet, but his bedroom is practically glowing from the nightlight in the corner. I shut the door with my foot and then lean him against it to trail kisses all along his exposed skin.
“You didn’t act surprised by her death,” Kylen says quietly.
“I didn’t know her,” I answer.
He chews the inside of his lip. I feel the tendons moving in his neck as he does, and I lick along them.
“You didn’t,” he says slowly. “But you also said you’d kill anyone who touched me. You said that from the first time we had sex. Anonymously.”
I grin. “I recognized your voice, Kylen. Had I not spent so much time with Nolan the year prior, I might not have, but because I did, you were around often enough that I definitely recognized your voice almost right away.”
He huffs.
“I know we’ve only talked intermittently about my diagnosis, but part of the way I cope with not reading people as easily as you can is through constant observation.
I pay far more attention to those around me than most people do because everyone processes and reacts differently.
To understand you, I need to watch and learn from you.
Nolan is my friend, and you’re his friend, which was reason enough to pay attention to you.
So yes, in the dark where I didn’t know who I was walking in on, I knew your voice almost right away. It didn’t take me long to become sure.”
“Especially when you saw your bruises on my neck,” he muses.
I snort. “Yes.”
“Did you hurt Harold?” he asks.
“Some people require a more blatant statement of boundaries than others,” I answer.
“That’s not a yes or no.”
“I didn’t physically cause any of his injuries with my hands or feet or even a weapon that I wielded,” I state. Which is all entirely true.
Does he hear all the holes in that?
“Did you… my teacher, did you…?”
“I did not kill her.” That’s the truth. I didn’t kill her. Kole did.
“So… you’re the only person I’ve ever told. You have always said you’ll kill anyone who touches me. I felt how angry you were. And we get home, and she suddenly turns up murdered, but you didn’t cause it?”
“Ah, that’s a different question than the first, isn’t it?”
Kylen pushes me back and stares into my eyes. “Arek, tell me.”
“I didn’t kill her,” I promise. “But I caused her murder. I facilitated it. I also made sure the world knew why she was murdered because she doesn’t deserve to be remembered as a ‘beloved’ teacher.
” I spit the word. “Her truth needed to be known, but she didn’t deserve to live. Not even to face punishment.”
He swallows. “You killed her.”
“Not with my hands or a weapon.”
Dots begin to connect between this statement and the one I made about Harold. I can see them forming. How will he react?