3. Happy Thoughts
Happy Thoughts
“W hy are you scowling?”
Wendy turned her attention from the private jet to where Peter stood on the tarmac. “This isn’t exactly what I had in mind.” She’d hardly had a chance to grab her slippers when Peter rushed her out of the house.
“Adventure’s all about spontaneity. Stop sulking.” Peter loped up the stairs to the jet, leaving her standing in nothing more than a nightgown and robe.
She could not believe she was boarding a plane this way. He was not her favorite person at the moment.
Already aboard the jet, Peter popped his head out the door and shouted, “You coming, or are you already chickening out?”
“Says the fully dressed man…” she grumbled, hiking up her robe to climb the steps to the jet.
Wendy had never been much for air travel, and once she was seated, her true fears emerged in the form of cold sweat and fidgety hands. She checked again to make sure the buckle was fastened tightly.
“Nervous?”
Why was it so difficult to admit her insecurities to him? “I, um, get a little motion sick when I fly.”
He eyed her dewy skin and smirked. “That’s bullshit. If you’re afraid, just say you’re afraid.”
“I’m uncomfortable.”
“If uncomfortable means afraid.”
She growled and snapped, “Well, it’s not an illogical fear. We’re essentially hurtling through the sky at thirty-five thousand feet in a tin can.”
He dramatically clutched his chest. “I’ll have you know I spent thirty million dollars on this tin can. That’s roughly a thousand dollars of security for every foot you’ll be away from the ground.”
She supposed that counted for something. She tugged the seat belt strap as tight as it could fit and glanced out the window. Unfortunately, her tension remained.
The jet’s engine rattled to life, vibrating the floor. When Peter touched her thigh, she flinched.
“Relax. Stop focusing on all the things that could go wrong and think happy thoughts.”
Forcing her shoulders back, she stared forward. She needed to overcome these silly fears, or they would hold her back in life. She had big plans for adventure, and that meant getting a grip. But, honestly, maybe she was more of a sea traveling adventurer.
“Do you want something to help you relax?”
She scowled at him. “Of course not. I’m not that afraid.”
He shrugged, indifferent to whether she accepted his offer or not. Maybe he took something, which was how he was so calm and careless about everything.
She gasped when the jet taxied into position for takeoff. There would be no going back once they were in the air.
But she didn’t want to go back. She wanted to escape her boring life and do something daring. She could not let the fear of the unknown cripple her.
The engine got louder. “Oh, God…”
As they picked up speed, the force of their acceleration pressed through her chest and her body anchored into the chair.
Happy thoughts…
Happy thoughts.
Happy thoughts!
“Away we go,” Peter practically sang as she closed her eyes to focus on her breathing.
The plane leveled out, and she exhaled. Peeking through one eye, she saw stars and clouds against the night sky. They were doing it. She was going to the Never Lands with Peter Pangbourne. Her grip on the armrests loosened, her body a mixture of nervous excitement and terrified exhilaration.
“Take a look at that skyline.” He pointed toward the dark window where London’s lights glowed below.
There was something intimate about sharing that view. Their vibrant, pulsing city was alive with light yet so calm and still from this distance.
Thinking of her family at the Club XXVII gala tonight, she smirked. Her envy was gone. This was far better than some stuffy party. Even John and Michael had never been to the Isles of Kassel.
In a few hours she would be able to claim that she’s seen more than both her brothers! How rebelliously marvelous!
Her belly swooped at the realization that her family would return home before her and find her bed empty.
She should have left a note, but there hadn’t been time.
Peter rushed her out the door so quickly she was lucky to have put on shoes.
She could always text her parents once they landed.
They needed to realize she was an adult, and if they couldn’t come to that conclusion naturally, she’d force them to see.
Although she wasn’t breaking any laws, they would be furious with her decision.
Her father would see her rebelliousness as deliberate disobedience.
He never explicitly said, “Don’t go to the Isles of Kassel,” but she was pretty sure the Never Lands were on the list of forbidden places she wasn’t meant to visit.
She hid a smile, exhilarated by her defiance. This was precisely the wake-up call they needed if they were ever going to see her as a free-thinking adult.
The moon beamed as they passed the twinkling stars. She recognized the dome of Saint Paul’s Cathedral, and London Bridge looked tiny from such a height, as did Big Ben. They reached full height over the River Thames, and she sat back, much calmer than she’d been at takeoff.
“Beautiful, isn’t it?”
“It is—oh.” He was looking at her, not the view.
They were alone in the cabin, and in the silence, she could hear his breathing and hers. Realizing her actions not only sent a message to her parents, she considered what this might imply to Peter, and the gravity of her choices settled in.
Shit.
Was this what people meant when they accused women of using men for their money? She didn’t want his money, only his access to the unknown, but perhaps that was the same thing.
Did she care?
At the moment, no.
Later would come. But for now, she reveled in the excitement of spontaneity and ignored all thoughts of consequence.
Weightless. Aimless. Helpless. Truly reckless. She laughed, still able to taste the sweetness of her mother’s wine on her lips.
Peter’s nearness stretched around her until his proximity was all she could feel, yet no part of his body touched hers.
Her heart raced at such a surreal predicament.
She was taking a fantastical journey with a man who was essentially still a stranger.
She was at his mercy. Was she insane for doing this?
The thought made her laugh.
“What’s funny?”
“This.” Was it not obvious? “I’m on a private jet with a man I hardly know, in my nightgown, flying off to the Never Lands.” She covered her face and laughed some more. If only he knew how utterly boring her day-to-day life was. “Pinch me. I must be dreaming.”
He slid his hand to her inner thigh and pinched.
She squeaked, slamming her hands over his. “Hey.”
“You asked me to.”
“I didn’t mean literally.”
Her gaze dropped to his trapped hand, and a boundless sense of possibility ripped through her. The moment was too dreamlike to be real. Too infinite. Too vast. And somehow, it was real. Where was the hovering sense of impending doom? It was as if consequence could not reach her here, with him.
Testing the strange sense of surrealness, she relaxed her posture and met his gaze. Their stares locked. The corners of his green eyes creased as the silk of her gown slowly lifted. She should shove his hand away but she didn’t.
“You’re already braver than you were.” He gently repositioned her hands at her sides.
She swallowed as his fingers trailed lightly over her bare flesh. “This part never scared me.”
He raised a brow. “Is that so?”
She feared her ignorance being exposed, but not his touch. Meeting his stare, she held eye contact with him as he gradually nudged her thighs apart with bold intention. It was up to her. If she wanted him to keep going, she would have to open for him.
Emboldened by the challenge in his eyes, her legs fell open, and her eyes shut. When his fingers traced over her panties, she sucked in a breath and tipped her head back. He teased over the damp spot of arousal, making the fabric wetter and drawing a shy gasp from her throat.
Sensations jolted in places she’d never felt before. His fingers slipped beneath the material, gliding purposefully along her skin. Then he pressed inside.
“Wait.” She gripped his wrist before his finger could fully penetrate her.
He chuckled, delving beyond where any man had touched before, only to pause at her notable panic.
“You are innocent, aren’t you?” His voice darkened into a low whisper, full of intrigue.
“Relax.” He pried her grip loose and set her hand back on the armrest. “I won’t hurt you. I just want to check something.”
Her breath hitched as he slid a finger inside of her and teased the place of resistance that validated her virginity. Mortified, she snapped her knees together, trapping his hand. Her brow pinched with uncertainty, and she bit her lip.
“It’s true then. Part of me actually thought it was an act.”
He thought she was faking ignorance? “Why would you think that?”
He lifted a shoulder. “Women do all sorts of things to get my attention. I never had a thing for virgins…But I also never had my finger inside of one. I’m starting to see the intrigue.”
Her breath hitched as he ever so slightly swirled his finger inside of her.
What if he told people about this? She didn’t want to be the center of gossip or remembered for being a virgin. She feared others learning such secret things about her. But what if he told them? What if he said she was the type of girl to let a stranger finger her on a plane?
“What’s it going to be, Ms. Darling? Shall I show you how to sing to the stars?”
Her lips parted, but her words disappeared as the cabin jostled.
His hand vanished from between her thighs, leaving her bereft and oddly aware of the hollowness where his touch had been. More turbulence shook the plane, and her body tensed.
“What was that?”
“Relax.”
“Pardon me, folks,” the captain’s voice squawked over the speakers. “We’ve hit a pocket of turbulence. There’s a small storm up ahead, but we should pass it quickly. Please keep your seatbelts fastened for your safety until I announce otherwise.”
“ What? We’re flying through a storm?” Her calm vanished.
Peter let out a crowing laugh. “We’re in the clouds, Wendy. Storms are perfectly normal up here.”
Lightning flashed in the distance, outlining the billows of clouds ahead. The stunning view of vastness left her feeling small and helpless. When the cabin shook, her nerves sparked. Each jostling rattle wound her tension tighter until she was a coil spring about to pop.
“It’s only air. There’s nothing to fear up here. We’re all alone.”
“That doesn’t help me. Is that lightning?” A bright bolt webbed the sky.
Her dreamlike state shifted to a nightmare as the plane tossed about. They dropped several feet through the air, and she cried out in fear, unable to hide her panic.
“Just shut it out.”
“I should have shut you out!” She reached for her phone, but the pocket of her robe was empty. She checked her other pocket. “Oh, my God. I left my phone at home.”
Regret swamped her as she pictured her parents’ worrying.
Then there would be the absolute devastation of learning she was aboard a plane that crashed once the story splattered all over the news.
Was she even recorded in the flight log?
What if she just became a missing person, a lost girl who was never found?
“Hey.” He removed his safety belt.
“What are you doing? The turbulence?—”
“I’m fine.” He fully faced her as the plane shuddered about and gripped her shoulders. “You’re fine. We’re fine. It’s just wind.”
Panting, she searched his stare for reassurance but found no anchor there. They were just words, not actual guarantees. He was a stranger. His confidence could not protect her anymore than?—
His lips sealed to hers, and she squeaked.
Pushing at his chest, she tried to shove him back, but he tightened his grip, forcing her to accept the kiss. His hand closed over hers, pressing her palm against his chest. “Feel my heartbeat. Nice and steady.”
“Peter—”
“Hush.” His tongue slid into her mouth, distracting her from the sense of danger and sending her thoughts to a different place. When he pulled away, the turbulence had slowed, and the plane hardly jostled.
“There,” he said, as if proving he’d been right all along and there was nothing to worry about.
Her eyes narrowed. “Well, you don’t have to look so smug about it.”
The captain’s voice returned. “We’re past the storm now, folks. Feel free to remove your safety belts and move about the cabin.”
Her mercurial mood swings between euphoric enthusiasm and terrifying dread gave her whiplash. Any more excitement, and she’d exhaust herself before they landed.
They traveled in silence for a stretch. Peter didn’t attempt to touch her again, which was for the best. She just wanted to land safely on the ground.
When they reached the coast, the jet circled the Isles of Kassel, and she stared in awe at what only a few people in the world could claim to have seen.
Several small, interconnected islands dotted the dark sea. She wished it was daylight because, at the moment, it looked a bit ominous and wild.
“Which are the Never Lands?”
Peter pointed to a small grove of an island where illuminated mansions twinkled through the canopies of palm trees. “There.”
Lush everglades curved wildly about the landscape in an undisrupted sign of organic life. She’d expected it to be more occupied and populated by buildings, but the Never Lands were mostly made of trees and jungles.
All the isles appeared darker than expected. Where were the people? This wasn’t at all as she imagined and her stomach pinched with unease.
“Where’s your family’s house?”
“Who said anything about family? The Never Lands are mine.”
The overhead bell chimed. “This is your captain speaking. We’re preparing to land. Please fasten your seatbelts, and we’ll have you on the ground shortly.”
Wendy straightened her clothes, eager to get off the plane but nervous about what might come next. Peter glanced at her and chuckled.
She glared at him, unsure what was so funny. “Why are you laughing?”
He smirked. “No reason. Tonight should be fun—once we loosen you up.”
“ We?”
“Yeah, me and the Lost Boys.”
Her expression fell. Who were the Lost Boys?