14. The Place Between Dreaming and Awake #2
Yes, he fucking felt it. He was still feeling it. It was, perhaps, the most terrifying thing he’d ever felt, and it left him unhinged in ways he couldn’t explain.
“That’s it.” He leaned forward and grabbed her arms, pulling her off the stool and into the tub.
“Oh!” Water sloshed over the edge and onto the floor as he pulled her onto him. He needed to kiss her before it was too late, before he lost his chance forever. He didn’t believe in captivity, but he desperately wanted to keep her with him forever.
He wanted her solely for himself because it had been an eternity since anyone looked at him like they needed him the way she did.
“What do you want?” he demanded, kissing her passionately. “Tell me and I’ll give it to you.”
“I…I don’t know.”
“Yes, you do.” He peeled off her wet shirt and threw it aside. His mouth closed over her pert nipples, and he suckled them into sharp tips. “Would you stay here if I asked?”
“What choice do I have?”
“You have a choice. I’m giving it to you. What do you choose?”
“I…I don’t know.”
“Think. What does your gut tell you?”
“I don’t think with my gut. I think with my heart.” Her hands pressed into his chest as she searched his eyes. “Yours is racing.”
He held her hand there. “What does that tell you?”
She tried to pull her touch away, but he held her there.
“You’ll get bored of me.”
“Impossible.” He reached under the water and angled his hard cock so she could feel how utterly far from boring he found her. “I want you.”
“For revenge?”
“No. I want to take care of you. You would want for nothing.” He cupped her breasts, desperate to show her how satisfying it could be. “We could go wherever you desired—travel the world and see all the wonders.”
“What about my family?”
His blood turned cold. “Right.” He lifted her off of him, putting the necessary distance between them. “Of course, you’d want to be with your family.”
“You’re upset.”
His lips formed a flat line. It wasn’t fair to get upset because she was lucky enough to have people at home who loved her. “No, you should be with them. They probably miss you.”
“It’s not that simple.”
“Why?”
“Because I disobeyed my father. Once he knows I’m safe, he’ll be furious. I won’t be able to simply disappear again.”
“You’re an adult, Wendy. How much control could they possibly have over you?”
“Asks the man who took total control from me last night.”
“That’s different. You surrendered.”
“Under duress,” she said with a laugh.
“Does that mean you regret it?”
“No. But I will regret leaving when you let me go.”
“Who says I’ll let you go?”
She met his stare, but behind the challenge hid sadness. “James, we both know this is too complicated for me to stay. At least for now.”
He always knew this would be temporary, but the closer they came to the end, the more he hated the idea of ever letting her go.
“We still have time.” He lifted her out of the tub, leaving a trail of water on the floor. “As long as you’re here, you’re still mine.” He dried her before the hearth, then backed her into the wall with a possessive kiss.
When he pulled away, she looked up at him with unguarded trust. He traced his fingers down her cheek. Fearful he might lose his will and beg her to stay, he tossed a velvet cushion on the floor and took control. “On your knees.”
She lowered to the cushion and looked up at him.
“Now, open your mouth like a good girl.”
She parted her lips, and he pressed into her mouth. This was still new to her, so he took it slow.
“That’s it. Relax your throat, and let me fuck that pretty mouth.” His palms flattened to the wall as he slowly flexed his hips. “Suck it like a good little slut would.”
The moment her lips tightened around him he groaned. He’d meant to be gentle, but it wasn’t long before he was cupping the back of her head to protect her from the wall.
“Yes, that’s a fucking good girl. Keep going. Don’t you dare fucking stop. I own that filthy mouth, and I’m going to fuck it until I come.”
She moaned as he slid deeper. Losing himself in the delicious sensation, his mind started to wander. This might be the last chance together.
The lump in his throat tightened, and his vision blurred. He didn’t want to let her go. He could already sense how awful her absence would feel.
Alone again.
Abandoned.
“Fuck!”
“What’s the matter?”
He turned his back on her, pacing the floor as he tried to get a hold of his emotions. “Is this real?”
“Of course, it’s real.”
How could she go from this back to her refined life? There were two totally different versions of her.
“Which is the real you, the one in London or the one here, kneeling on my floor?”
“Why does one have to be fake?”
“Because it does! If you stay here, you’d be giving up that life. If you leave, you’d go back to living like a modest little church mouse. Either way, you lose something.”
“We all lose something. It’s called growing up.”
“No. You could have it all if you admitted what you actually wanted.”
“I haven’t figured out what I want yet.”
“So you’ll go back and pretend you’re satisfied until you do?”
“Everyone’s pretending on some level.”
“I’m not.”
“You’re different.”
“Because I’m honest. Think about what you’re saying, Wendy. What does your life matter if it’s filled with lies and you have to pretend you're someone else?” He pulled her to his lap. “If you stayed with me, you could be yourself.”
“As long as I don’t oppose you?—”
“No, even if you disagreed with me, I’d accept you.” He nuzzled her ear and whispered, “I’d take care of you, see to all your needs, and you could see to mine.”
She clung to him. “To what end?”
“Why should there be an end? Why can’t it be forever?”
“We barely know each other.”
“That’s part of the adventure. We’ll learn each other’s secrets. You could teach me things. And I could teach you.”
“What do I know that you don’t?”
“Plenty.”
Until today, he didn’t know what it felt like to be washed by a gentle set of hands. He didn’t know how soundly he could sleep with her by his side. He didn’t know that he wanted the things he never had until she gave him a glimpse of how such kindness could feel.
She shook her head. “You’ll grow tired of me.”
“No.” The lump in his throat made it nearly impossible to speak. “You could teach me how to love.”
“James…” She looked away, and he felt her pulling back, but he wasn’t ready to let her go.
“You were right,” he confessed. “I have secrets. But I’m willing to give them all to you if you give me this one thing. I can change?—”
“People don’t change.”
“Then love me the way I am. Is there some part of me that you could learn to love?”
“James…”
He couldn’t bear more excuses, so he kissed her possessively, showing her how much he was willing to lay his soul bare to keep her here. “Stay with me.”
“I—”
He needed more time to convince her. If he kept kissing her, she’d see.
“Stop! This isn’t you!” She shoved him back and covered her abused lips. “You’re not a man who begs.”
Infuriated by her rejection, he toppled her to the carpet and held her throat. “Is this what you want? A monster?”
“You’re not a monster either.”
“ Then why has no one ever loved me?”
The walls shook, and a loud bang rattled the ship. He was on his feet and rushing to the window.
“What was that?”
A small boat tied to the side of the ship. They were out of time.
“James, what’s happening?”
He yanked her off the floor, deposited her on the bed, and rushed to the dresser, flinging a dry shirt at her as he pulled on pants. “Put this on. Don’t move from that bed.” He snatched his weapons from the dresser as another crash sounded from above, and the floorboards rattled.
“Tell me what’s happening!”
“We’re under attack. It looks like you’re going home.”
Her eyes went wide. “Peter’s here? On the ship?”
He rushed to the bed, pressing a kiss to her lips as he slipped a key into her hand. “Lock the door behind me and don’t open it for anyone, no matter what happens.”
“What’s going to happen?”
“Just do as I say.” Swiping his tourné blade from the table, he rushed out the door and up to the deck.
Pistols fired, and men screamed. Bodies and barrels were thrown overboard while others raced into the fight. James froze at the sight of his brother battling with his crew on the lookout.
“Where is she?” Peter demanded, angling a nasty dagger with a golden blade at James.
“She’s in my bed.”
“Bastard!”
“Yes,” he agreed, glad to finally witness his brother’s outrage when he felt his revenge. “She’s ruined, and I enjoyed every second of it…brother.”
“She wasn’t yours!” Peter rushed forward and then stilled, his golden brow twitching in confusion. “What did you just call me?”
“You’re kidding. Do you really not know who I am?” Could he honestly forget him so completely?
“Black Jack,” he said, lifting his blade. “I know exactly who you are—captain of this ship and scourge of the Seven Seas.”
“Is that all I am? Look harder, Peter. What do you see?”
“I see nothing. A criminal.”
“Shame on you, Peter. You should always know the full name of a man you rob.”
“I don’t care what your name is?—”
“Hook.” He grinned when Peter staggered back and lowered his dagger. “The name’s Hook.”
Realization dawned, and his jaw went slack. “James?”
“That’s right. You probably thought I was dead—not that you ever cared to check.”
Peter’s brow hardened at the sharp criticism, and he raised his dagger again. “Don’t blame me if your life’s been nothing more than a reeking pile of driftwood and rum. It’s not my fault you wasted it envying me.”
James’ mouth curved into an evil grin. “Is that what you think?”
“Why else would you take her from me?”
“She was never yours!” James had the curved blade of his tourné at Peter’s throat before he even saw him move.
Peter laughed in his face. “As if abducting her somehow gives you a claim. At least, with me, she went willingly.”