Chapter 36 Linus
thirty-six
Linus
Two Weeks Later
Today is the final day of tour.
Avonna and I are done for the summer, heading home to Dublin tomorrow.
This morning she wears nothing but my T-shirt, sipping a lemon spritz on the edge of the bed with her legs folded beneath her. Outside the window, Milan is a frenzy of horns and chaos.
Up here, it’s quiet. Golden.
Avonna doesn’t talk much before shows. She lets it all come out on stage. All the fire, all the vulnerability. It needs to simmer first, steep in silence, before she burns the world down.
Lately, though, she’s lit up in a different way. The glow we have for each other is steady. Over the summer it’s widened to include something we both feel coming.
Someone.
“He watched the whole set again.” She drags her fingertip along the condensation on her glass. “Same spot, arms crossed, trying to look casual. He doesn’t even hide anymore.”
I crack a smile. “Liam’s never been casual a day in his life.”
“No.” She looks off into the distance. “He watches me like he’s trying to memorize every note. Every word.”
She sets her glass down. Comes to sit beside me. I wrap my arms around her and pull her into my lap.
I already know what she’s going to say.
“We need to tell him.”
Not a question. Or a warning. It’s an understanding.
“It started with a few lyric swaps, but it’s turned into something wild.” She nestles into my neck. “Every time we create it’s like a detonation in my chest. I’ve never felt this kind of creative synchronicity with anyone. We were meant to write together.”
I absorb this. I’ve seen it, too. Their sessions, how they linger afterward. The energy flickering between them, growing louder.
She takes a breath. “It’s starting to feel manipulative when he doesn’t know about us.
Who we are to each other. How much he’s been in our plans when we dream about the life we want.
He’s a fantasy in the bedroom with us nearly every night now.
I think he senses it on some deep level, but he hasn’t asked. ”
“He doesn’t want the answer,” I say.
“Exactly. I’m convinced if he knew I was with you, he’d run.” She strokes my cheek. “Not out of spite. Out of guilt. He’d think he’d ruin everything. So, imagine when he finds out we’re married.”
“We’re walkin’ a fine line,” I admit.
Avonna shifts to straddle me. “He’s falling for me, Linus. I know he’s attracted. I am too, but this isn’t a breathless, infatuated thing. He’s…opening. Letting himself be seen. Emotionally. Like he wants someone else other than you and his brother to finally know him.”
“It’s huge,” I murmur into her hair. “Liam’s already halfway in, even if he doesn’t know what to call it. He’s never let anyone see his soft parts but me.”
“I know.” She caresses the back of my head. “It’s why we need to tell him before this goes any further.”
I shift her in my lap. “You think he’ll stay once he finds out?”
“I don’t know,” she says honestly. “I’m afraid if he learns the truth later, from someone else…”
“Then it’s over before it starts.”
She nods. “I’ve been careful. I haven’t lied. But neither of us have told the truth. Emotions are involved now. I don’t want to continue without full transparency.”
“Neither do I.” I trace my thumb over her knuckles. “I’ve stayed away on purpose so you and he… I’ve never stopped wanting him. Every time he walks into a room, somethin’ in me lights up. My body reacts before my brain catches up. He looks at me, and I feel like I’m nineteen again.”
She watches me closely, fascinated.
“We’ve spoken. Polite, friendly. Nothing more. But it’s there. Still bubblin’ under the surface. I think he feels it too, but he’s keeping a lid on it.”
Avonna bites her lip. “I don’t want to stand in your way either, Linus. This is supposed to be about all of us.”
“You’re not, baby,” I assure. “I wanted to give you the space to know him on your own. If this has a chance in hell in workin’, it has to be three people who want each other completely. Not two pullin’ one in.”
“I want him too.” She rests her cheek against mine. “It’s more than attraction.”
“Oh, I’m aware. I hear it in the songs the two of you are writin’.” I stroke her hair. “Hear it in the way your voices blend. The way he listens to you. It’s not casual.”
I thread my fingers with hers. “I’ve been thinkin’ about something else. Quite a bit, actually.”
Avonna waits. Doesn’t force the issue. She knows me well enough to let the words come when they’re ready.
“This solo thing…” I glance at her. “You’re brilliant. Everyone sees it. You’re gaining more and more traction all the time.”
A small smile tugs at her lips, but it doesn’t reach her eyes.
“You don’t love being alone up there,” I add carefully. “You never have.”
She exhales with relief. “I’m grateful for the opportunity you’ve given me.”
“I know, baby. You’re humble. You’d rather disappear into the music, not shoulder the performance too.”
She nods, almost imperceptibly.
“My manager brain hasn’t shut off since Belfast,” I admit. “Watchin’ you listen to Fireball. You see things others miss. My God, you understood Liam’s lyrics after one chorus. Understood the fracture underneath and how he holds it back.”
Her brow furrows. She’s listening closely now.
“I heard Koko is leaving.”
Avonna’s expression softens. “Yes. At the end of these shows. He’s spinning, trying to act like he isn’t.”
“I see it. He doesn’t know where to go next. They’ve clawed their way back and now they’re standin’ on the edge of something bigger. They need someone who understands the ins and outs. Who can translate Liam and Padraig without breakin’ what makes them matter.”
Her eyes meet mine. Searching.
“I think you could be their singer,” I finally tell her my idea. “The missin’ piece.”
She draws in a breath. Not surprised. More like she’s been waiting to hear it.
“I didn’t want to put it in your head before.
This whole thing between us and him is delicate.
” I pause, give her space. “If anything’s going to happen with the band, the truth needs to come out.
About us. Our marriage. What we want with him.
We can’t offer him somethin’ we haven’t defined ourselves. ”
Avonna squeezes my hand. “Look, it’s crossed my mind too.
There’s a lot of variables. They’re based in the US.
We live in Ireland. Padraig. I mean, if the three of us are able to work out a relationship, wouldn’t it be weird?
I guess what I’m saying is, this is delicate. I don’t want to force anything.”
“God, I love you for being so sensitive.” I swallow. “The foundation has to be strong enough to hold all of us.”
“When I’m with you, I feel rooted. Known. Loved. When I’m with him—” her voice catches “—I feel sparked. He’s waking up something inside me.”
I don’t flinch. I don’t pull back. I feel the same way about him, too.
Liam has always been a current running beneath my skin. Even when he disappeared and I tried to convince myself I was over him. All this time with Avonna, who fills my cup to overflowing. He’s still here in the spaces between.
“I want this to work so badly,” I admit. “The three of us. Wakin’ up together. Creatin’ a life together. Fuckin’ each other. Comin’ home to each other.”
“We’ve got forty-eight hours before we fly home.” She pulls my shirt up and over my head.
I know what she’s asking.
“I’ll reach out,” I say. “Ask to see him. Alone.”
“Are you ready?”
“No—yes.”
Without disentangling herself from me, she grabs my phone and holds it out. “This started as a fantasy. Let’s see if it’s real.”
I take the phone and consider what I’m going to say, then tap in a message and show it to her.
Me: If you’re passing through Dublin when you’re done with the European tour, maybe let’s talk.
“Perfect.” She kisses me. Her mouth tastes like citrus and honey and heat.
I hit send, put my phone on the table and savor this moment with her. The life we’re building.
I want her. I love her. She’s not only choosing me, she’s choosing us.
“You still give me goosebumps.” My mouth brushes her throat.
She smiles, close enough for me to feel it. “Same.”
Later, when she rests against me, Avonna asks so quietly I almost miss it, “Will we be okay if he says no?”
I think about it for a second. What we’ve built and what we stand to lose. Realize my truth.
“Yes,” I assure her. “You’ve always been more than enough. You make me happier than I’ve ever been.”
Her body softens at the words, trust settling deep.
“At the same time, we won’t know unless we try,” I add. “No matter what comes next, we’re solid.”
She nods, buries her face into my neck, and pulls me closer.
The rest can wait until morning.