Chapter 22
Rob
Danny Reynolds was a stubborn man.
In so, so, so many ways.
By the end of the first week of him babysitting, the entire closet had been transformed into a fully functioning office space. He argued I’d need a place to go when I was studying for my GED. Which, admittedly, was going slower than I would’ve liked.
By the end of the second week, he’d convinced me to take the exam to get my learner’s permit.
I passed.
He celebrated. Then started making noises about me taking lessons.
Gently, I asked that we take one step at a time. The idea of driving terrified me…even though I’d readily admit it would be easier to get around with the kids.
By the end of the third week, Nai’s doctor said that although she was healthy enough to return to school, there was no way she could put in the late nights she’d been doing for me. Regretfully, she tendered her resignation.
Danny celebrated.
Personally, I thought he was nuts. But he insisted this put him in the running for best-babysitter-ever award from Hallie, which Nai had been a shoo-in for until now.
I rolled my eyes.
Then Hallie told me that she’d miss Nai, but Danny was lots of fun. That warmed me and worried me. I was thrilled Danny and my kids were getting along so well. I was terrified for the day he quit and I was back to seeking someone to help. Because he was going to quit. He couldn’t keep up with his schoolwork and watch my kids six days a week.
Plenty of single parents do. You’re practically co-parenting.
A treacherous thought I had to suppress.
Because every night when I got home, there were glad you’re home from work kisses. How was your evening kisses. Goodnight kisses.
So much kissing.
I never found the courage to ask him for more. Never found the guts to invite him to spend the night. I could’ve explained it to the kids. Danny was too tired to drive home, and he slept in my bed. The lie would fall easily from my lips…but I never had to use it.
By the end of the fifth week, he announced I was to be his ‘date’ for Colin and James’s wedding in two weeks and Mama was arranging outfits for my kids and I couldn’t possibly disappoint Mama by refusing.
Considering we’d eaten dinner at the Reynolds clan home in Huntington Beach the Sunday before and I’d met the formidable Mama, I knew resistance was futile. My kids had played hard with all Danny’s nieces and nephews. His sister had even let Hallie sit on my lap with little baby Keyla in her arms.
I couldn’t remember my two ever being that tiny. But the premature twins were thriving and, according to Danny, getting bigger every day. He’d sat next to me with Malaya in his massive arms.
Arms I liked to remember holding me with the same exquisite gentleness…
The babble of the wedding crowd broke through my memories. Here we were in those fancy clothes, in the middle of the Reynolds family.
Gracie poked me.
“Hey.” I attempted indignant. I’d learned, at the family dinner, to watch my back with this Reynolds sister.
“You’re getting that dreamy look again.”
We sat next to each other in the second row. Hallie sat to my left, while I managed to keep Thomas on my lap. Gracie held Shanice…Leticia’s middle daughter.
See? I could keep track.
Sort of.
Hallie tugged on my sleeve. “Soon, Papa?”
Even as she asked the question, the music changed.
To my surprise, James and Colin walked to the front of the gathered crowd together—hand in hand. Danny and Arthur stood at the front by the minister. Danny was Colin’s best man while Arthur was James’s. I’d been surprised…until Danny gently reminded me that Colin didn’t have family he was in contact with. That he was a Reynolds now. And with the donation…he’d asked Danny. But only after he’d ensured Arthur would stand up for James. Considering their deep friendship, even the shy Arthur had been happy to agree. He pulled at his collar, but other than that, he did an admirable job.
To my relief, the service was over almost as soon as it had begun. I was expecting something like the church back home which went on for hours and hours. I’d worried about Thomas staying still for that long.
Colin pledged himself to James as tears rolled down the men’s cheeks. They’d been though so much together. Not just Colin’s illness, although that was significant, but just all life had thrown at them. They’d survived. They’d made it through. They were clearly going to have a strong marriage.
I’d believed, all those years ago, that would happen for me. And maybe if I’d really loved Gerard instead of hero-worshiped him…
No. Don’t go there. You did everything you could to make that marriage work. That it ended so disastrously is on him. Not you. I drew in a deep breath, holding Thomas steady. What would it be like? To marry someone I really loved. To be unified with someone who saw me for who I am and not who they thought I should be. Would I be as happy as these two men? As they exchanged rings, I blinked several times.
I wasn’t going to give up on love. What I’d experienced with Gerard had never been love. Maybe in the future…? I spotted Danny wiping away a tear as well.
Our gazes met.
My breath held at the swell of emotion he conveyed. He loved his brother so much, but had been happy to stand up for Colin. A man who had no family here. Not that he would’ve wanted them. No, Colin was now officially a Reynolds.
I envied him that.
Barely ten minutes after Colin and James walked up the aisle, they kissed, cupping each other’s faces, Colin on his toes, mouths fused like they were each other’s oxygen. Then they walked back down. Only this time, they grabbed any niece and nephew interested in joining them and they had a weird conga line.
To my delight, Hallie wanted to join, and I let her go, even though I lost sight of her in the crowd of children. I didn’t plunge after her. Possibly one of the hardest things I’d ever done. Because I’d spent four years being her shadow any time we left the house. My vigilance knew no bounds as I was aware of her every movement.
Her every breath.
And I knew that wasn’t healthy. She needed to find her own oxygen. To find her own spirit.
To have a life beyond me.
Well, a few feet, anyway.
Gracie nudged me, and I let Thomas slither to the floor.
I snagged his hand. “You ready to go?”
He nodded with a toothy, gummy, drooly grin.
Teething.
I wiped his chin before we headed down the aisle with everyone else.
The grand ballroom of the venue was, in fact, grand. Danny joked they had three hundred and ten relatives who could be directly linked within one step or two. Most had been invited. Many had declined, saying they didn’t get enough notice.
James didn’t seem too upset about that. I had the impression he was of the smaller is better camp while Colin was the one who wanted James’s family—and the entire world—to see how happy he was. How much he appreciated his second chance at life.
Danny scooped Hallie up and twirled her as several of his nieces clamored for the same thing. He was proving to be the most popular adult in the room for the under-tens.
A photographer snapped a few candid shots, then tried to gather the family members. Danny had said the photos would be on the beach while the venue staff set up for dinner.
My stomach rumbled. I’d remembered to feed the kids, but had grabbed just a slice of toast as Gracie had piled us all into her car. That she’d come down to get us warmed my heart. Danny had wanted to drive us, but was needed way earlier, and Thomas, Hallie, and I would’ve wound up waiting around. So Gracie had stepped in.
You’re starting driving lessons next week. Soon you’ll be independent. Suddenly, that day couldn’t come soon enough.
“Hey, let’s go.” Danny appeared before me. He had Hallie by the hand and, somehow, managed to scoop Thomas into his arms.
My boy poked Danny’s clean-shaven jaw. For a guy who often went a few days between shaving, he’d cleaned up nicely today.
“Go where?” I asked.
“Pictures on the beach.”
I squinted. “Uh, Danny, that’s for family. Gracie’s waving…you better go.” I tried to take Thomas from his arms, but my boy squawked his protest.
“I want my picture, Papa.” Hallie fingered her beautiful pink dress that Mama had so lovingly—and perfectly—selected. And she’d matched Thomas’s tie the same pink and, my God, my kids looked adorable. Gracie had snapped a couple of pictures of the three of us, but they wouldn’t be as good as the professional’s.
Danny leaned close to my ear. “Just roll with it.”
I had to chuckle. Of everyone here, I was probably the least capable of just rolling with it. But I owed him everything, and so I followed him into the bright sunlight. April’s weather could prove unpredictable, but it was like Mama had waved her magic wand and everything was perfect.
The photographer, being a smart woman, had all the children pose first. She spotted Hallie and Thomas and insisted they be part of the shot.
“The more the merrier,” Daddy said.
“They’re like family,” Mama added.
Like I’d argue with the couple I’d have done anything to have as my parents growing up. In the end, though, Danny’s please won me over.
Hallie held Thomas who actually stayed still. Probably in awe of so many children at once. Mama and Daddy’s entire pile of grandkids. Thomas looked like he belonged while Hallie obviously was the odd one out. Clearly, though, she didn’t care. Maybe didn’t even notice. She’d just met a great group of kids who wanted to play.
When the kids decided they’d had enough, several second cousins stepped in to corral them. I made a beeline for Thomas, who’d decided the water looked pretty. I had him scooped in my arms when Danny grabbed me by the waist.
“A quick shot.” He had Hallie with him. In a moment, he had her in his arms. I had Thomas in mine.
The photographer took several photos.
My eyes burned.
Because of the sun, naturally. Obviously. Not because Danny wanted a memento of what he’d casually referred to as our first official date. Or of the fact he’d said he was so glad the kids were with us. I’d wanted to argue.
He’d kissed me into submission.
Now I’d have a photograph to hold close.
Gracie had her phone out as well and as Danny put Hallie back on the ground, my phone buzzed in my back pocket.
My gaze shot to Gracie, who had my number in case of emergencies.
She grinned and gave me a thumbs-up.
My heart soared. This family always thought of the little things. They always had a camera at the ready. Or an adult there to help.
Leticia plopped one of the twins into my arms and headed back for a sibling photo.
I stared down at a wide-eyed infant who stared back up at me. “Are you Keyla or Malaya?”
She wiggled her butt, and I realized a diaper change was in order. Spotting Leticia’s bag, I snagged a clean one and took Thomas in search of our abandoned knapsack. Timing was perfect as my son had just done his business too.
The baby wriggled a lot, but I eventually managed to get a clean diaper on her.
One of the aunts I’d been introduced to held her while I quickly changed Thomas.
I washed my hands and disposed of the diapers, then I took the baby back into my arms, grabbed Thomas by the hand, and we headed out together. I marveled at the infant being so placid. Hallie had wailed anytime anyone touched her other than me. Especially when Gerard had tried. I supposed this baby got passed around a lot—what with so many people willing to love her.
Gracie greeted me as I stepped outside. “Groom photos.”
Hallie held her hand.
“We might want to get some liquid into the kids.” I eyed the sun. “And move to the shade?”
“Sure.” As we moved, Gracie cocked her head. “Where are Widget and Trouble?”
I coughed out a laugh. “Uh, Drizella and Widget are hanging out at Oscar and Hugh’s house. They’re big fans of Hemingway the Newfoundland. The three dogs love to play together. Well, Widget has a definite size deficiency, but she sure makes up for it in bossiness.”
“Right…” Gracie nodded. “There are a lot of gay men in Gaynor beach with kids and dogs.”
I chuckled. “And plenty of lesbian couples. And a few nonbinary and trans folk as well. Yeah, it’s a welcoming place. I’m so lucky Anthony took me there.” I winced.
“You don’t have to tell me.” Gracie offered a gentle smile. “You’re safe now. That’s all that matters.”
“Right.” I glanced down at the infant in my arms who’d fallen asleep and then over to my children who had found a patch of sand and were building a sandcastle. Without water, though, they were doomed to fail.
But they didn’t care.
And for that, I was eternally grateful.
“Oh, there you are.” Bryan, Leticia’s husband headed my way. “How is she?” He held out his arms.
Mine ached, but I would’ve kept going. “An angel.” I passed her over. “She’s newly changed.”
“Oh, bless you.” He leaned in toward me. “I’d have done it, but…”
“Sometimes it’s nice to have a break?”
“Yes. That.” He cooed. “Malaya is much calmer. I think Leticia did you a kindness by handing her to you. And you did a kindness to us by watching her.” He gave me a nod and headed off to where I spotted Leticia with a squawking Keyla and a heavily pregnant Felicia. Who’d complained to me about why James couldn’t have waited until she’d given birth. And Martin’s wife Shondra was also pretty close to due.
I was damn proud for remembering all that.
Later, as I danced in the curve of Danny’s arm as he held Hallie and I held Thomas, I acknowledged in my mind what my heart already knew…I loved this man. Although it’d happened gradually, the realization had hit hard and fast.
I just didn’t know what I was going to do about it.