Chapter Twenty-Seven – How many crazy exes?
“What the fuck?” I slammed the door behind me, and Lyra’s attention snapped to me.
“Oh darn.” She pouted. “You got home early. What’s with you lately? You were so predictable before!”
“I knew your ass was crazy.” I moved toward Sire, examining the chains holding her wings pinned to her side.
“I am not crazy!” she whined as that ugly ass cat jumped into her arms. For a second, I thought maybe Sire had gotten to it again, because the fur looked matted and singed, but as I looked closer, I realized it was changing.
“Oh, hell no.” I watched as the cat stretched in her arms, its body elongating into a slim tube. What was once a cat turned into a snake.
“Ever since your bird burned my baby, he can’t keep his shape!” she fussed as the snake stiffened in her hands and then shifted into a toad. “This is all her fault.”
“Lyra, I don’t know what you have going on, but I’m giving you one chance to get the hell out of my house.” I pulled at the first chain, and it fell from Sire’s wing.
“I knew she was here. I could feel her.” Lyra spoke as if I hadn’t kicked her out of my home.
“There aren't many left like her left. A true phoenix. My boy here, he's great at sniffing out her kind. And that burn on him? So very signature of a phoenix, though I didn’t think it would affect him this way.”
“You were looking for her?”
“Yes, of course.” She nodded, eyes trained on Sire, who made loud clicks in my ear.
“Took me a lot longer to lay eyes on you, but there you are, just as beautiful as ever, and now you're going to come with me. Though, I didn’t plan on you being this size. I’ll have to figure out how to transport you. ”
“If you think you’re taking her anywhere, you’re out of your mind.” I stepped between them.
“Oh, you.” Lyra’s lips pulled back over her teeth, and a wave of disgust slammed into me.
“Yeah, me, the owner of this house.” I waved at her. “And the guardian of this bird you’re talking about snatching up.”
“I need a phoenix,” she sneered. “You have a phoenix. It only makes sense to borrow her, right? Be a sweet neighbor and lend her to me.”
“How about I lend you my foot up your ass?” I snapped.
“Look, I'm not a fighter; I'm a lover. You should know that.” She petted what was then a hamster. “Did you enjoy my gift?”
She fluttered her lashes at me, trying to flirt, but I could feel the truth. Whatever attraction she had before was genuine, this was not. It was a woman digging into a bag of desperation trying to get what she wanted—and it wouldn’t work.
Lyra realized I wouldn’t give into flirting and quickly shifted her tactics. She tossed the hamster at me, and it shifted mid-air back into the cat I’d saved before. As claws aimed for my face, all I could think was that I should have let Sire burn his ass up.
Before it reached me, Sire’s massive wing moved in front of me. Deep red feathers protected my face and sent the cat into the wall with a powerful slap. I moved quickly to release her other wing before turning my attention to Lyra.
Sire went for the cat, and I wanted to watch, but I had to keep my eye on its owner, who stared in horror as hisses, growls, and shrieks rang out. I just knew Sire was tearing that ass up!
“Stop it! You’ll kill him!” Lyra screamed and charged Sire, but I stopped her with a tackle.
I wondered what her abilities were. She had no obvious markings of characteristics I could go on, so I needed to be as cautious as possible.
I quickly called a blanket of the deepest blue, one that would inspire hopelessness, and wrapped it around her.
Immediately, she gave up. Her body sank and she sobbed.
“Sire, don’t kill that thing,” I said, glancing over my shoulder at the bird, who had the disfigured creature cornered.
I shot another small blanket of peace around the creature to calm its agitated spirit, and it settled into the cat form, curled up into a ball, and whimpered.
Sire, pissed I didn’t let her kill the thing, shrunk down to her normal size. She made angry scratches on the floor and clicked her beak at me before flying off down the hall.
“You don’t want to be a murderer!” I called out after her and laughed as I heard her squawk back at me.
With the two of them subdued, I called the helpline. My girls.
How long until they get tired of you having emergencies after every damn dinner?
“Yo, what's up? You good? Your magic acting wonky again?” Tayvion’s face appeared on the phone’s screen. “Do you need to call in your super-alien girlfriend?”
“No, but there is a bitch in my house trying to take Sire,” I informed them.
“Oh, hell no.” Cadence popped up. “I’m on my way.”
They both hung up in my face, and a moment later, they were standing next to me.
“Not the horny neighbor bitch!” Tayvion screamed. “Not at all what I expected.”
“Why the hell would she want Sire?” Cadence asked as she looked around the room. “Looks like a war happened in here.”
“That would be thanks to Sire.” I shrugged. “And I don't know why she wants her. I didn't get around to asking that question yet.”
“Wait a damn minute.” Cadence walked over to her with a frown on her face. “How had I not noticed this before?”
“What is it?” I looked over her shoulder as she bent down to look closer at Lyra.
Cadence waved her hand in front of her face, and the girl's appearance changed. The pixie cut lengthened, and her skin lightened two shades. Her nose became wider and her lips thinner. When the change stopped, a familiar face remained.
“I know damn well…” Cadence looked back at me. “Is this who I think it is?”
“Girl, how many of your crazy exes are gonna start popping up in your life?” Tayvion blurted out. “Wake her ass up so we can get to the bottom of this!”
Still locked in my own disbelief, I pulled the blanket back and gave her a jolt of joy to wake her up.
“Patrice, are you fucking for real right now?” I asked as she opened her eyes, shocked to see us all there. “What are you doing here?”
She touched her face and sighed. “Damnit! I knew your nosey ass friends would ruin this.”
“Watch your mouth, lil girl,” Tayvion warned her.
“Patrice,” I snapped at her. “Why the fuck are you here? Why would you try to take Sire like that?”
“I told you I needed a phoenix, and you're the only one I know who has one.” She shrugged as if it was nothing.
“Why?”
“I got into a little trouble, and I need to erase some things in the way only the fire of the phoenix can do.” Patrice scooted into a seated position, putting her back against the wall.
“And I needed a true phoenix, not one of those shifter bitches.
Plus, they're not that nice anyway. You ask for one little burning feather, and they act like you are trying to ruin the world.”
“How did you not know this was Patrice?” Tayvion asked.
“She doesn't feel the same. Maybe it's the magic she's using.” I pointed out. “And I can’t feel any magic coming from her, even now.”
“I had an energetic realignment, if you will. It's basically like plastic surgery, but for your inner self.” Her lips tightened. “Only that bitch tricked me and took my powers. So now, I have to use borrowed magic. I just want to get my power back. That’s why I needed Sire’s feathers.
I swear I was going to bring her back…mostly unharmed. ”
“And what the hell is that cat thing?” I pointed to the creature on the floor.
“Science experiment gone wrong or right? I don't know. It depends on how you look at it.” She sucked her teeth. “I finally got him to stabilize until Sire burned him!”
“Bitch, you are just as crazy as you were before.” Tayvion looked like she wanted to kick her, then tapped me on the shoulder. “Do you want me to snatch her up and take her to get her memory erased? My homegirl didn’t mind the last time.”
“No, I don't think that's necessary. I mean, how far back would you have to go to erase me from her mind to stop her from trying this again?” I laughed. “Might end up making her brain collapse.”
“I guess that's your downfall when you're actually dating a supernatural.” Tayvion bumped me with her hip.
“Yeah, no memory erasing for this one.” Cadence's voice turned stern, and I shared a worried glance with Tayvion. “Patrice Mauding, you're coming with me.”
“Oh, shit! She used her full name.” Tayvion gripped my shoulder, and we both took a step back from Cadence.
“What? Why?” Patrice looked at me as if she thought I would do anything to help her.
I think the fuck not!
“Didn't you know,” Cadence’s eyes glowed as she spoke, meaning she was tapped into the elders who already backed up her claim, “rare phoenixes, like Sire, are protected by the fae.
And you just tried to kidnap one, which means you're gonna have to answer for your crimes in fae court. I hope whatever you were trying to accomplish was worth the trouble.”
Cadence glanced back, and an orb of light appeared around the cat before that same energy encased her and Patrice. And then, they were gone.
“Oh, they’re going to make that girl pay!” Tayvion shook her head. “I can’t believe she remembered you had Sire but forgot about Cadence.”
“Now that I think about it, she did look terrified when she saw you two were here that night. I thought she was just embarrassed.”
“If she had any sense, she would have abandoned the plan then and there.” Tayvion looked around the room. “Go check on Sire, and I’ll get this mess cleaned up.”
An hour later, Tayvion and I sat on the couch, watching a sappy romance and eating popcorn. Neither of us felt like we could rest until we heard from Cadence. Half into the movie, there was a knock on the door.
“Oh, what the hell is it now?” I threw my hands up. “It’s too late for any more nonsense.”
“I bet you it's Jenna. I mean, I erased that embarrassing moment, but I didn't erase her memory of you.” Tayvion perked up. “Maybe she's back to square one, wanting to wrap things up with her sexy ex-girlfriend, missing her muscle mommy.”
“Tay, do me a favor and stuff some more popcorn into your mouth.”
I walked to the door and swung it open without checking the cameras, and my heart stopped when I found Likosa standing on my doorstep.
“Miss me?” She waved at me.
“What are you doing here?” I hated how eager I sounded.
Yeah, so much for playing it cool. You’re losing all your game!
“If you’re still open to helping me, I’m ready to accept it.” She nodded. “I’m ready to go home.”
I stood there, looking at the woman who made my heart skip a beat and my stomach flutter, and it felt like the world was caving in on me. Likosa wanted to go home. She hadn’t come there to tell me she wanted to be with me or that she missed me.
Get it together, girl!
“Oh, yeah. Of course, I’ll still help you!” I feigned excitement. “I’m glad you decided what you wanted to do.”
“I just needed to make sure you were still on board.” She smiled softly. “I'll be back in about an hour. Is that okay? I just have to go grab a couple of people.”
“People?” I asked.
“I have a plan that will get me home, but it's going to take multiple people with unique skill sets to help me do that.” She spoke in a clinical manner. One I wasn’t used to hearing from her.
“So I'm not the only one.” I said and immediately regretted how pathetic it sounded.
“Does that upset you?” She reached out and lifted my chin.
“No, of course not. I just wanted to verify.” I pulled away from her touch, and her hand dropped to her side.
“Okay, well, I'll be back.”
“I'll be here.” I nodded as she vanished.