5. Maleek Brewer
CHAPTER FIVE
MALEEK brEWER
“ L ook, man, I’ll call you back later!” I told my baby mama, then ended the call.
“Damn, I’m glad I don’t have a baby mama!” my brother, Jayceon, practically blurted in the bar area with others sitting next to us.
I quickly shot him an irritated look.
“Aye, bro, chill with that loud talking!” I warned him, glancing around to see if anyone nearby was listening in on our conversation. I wasn’t comfortable with the idea of my personal life being an open topic for strangers.
What my girlfriend, Jai, didn't know and couldn't ever find out was that I had a child, a son to be exact. He was the product of a night filled with more alcohol than common sense. Drunk or not, the reality remained: I had gotten someone pregnant. That was the reason my money was running low. I was scrambling to provide for her fuckin’ wants and our child's needs, all while hoping she would keep her damn mouth shut about it. The last thing I needed was for Jai to find out because I knew my baby mama was just itching to hit her up and tell her. On the flip side, the mother of my child also knew that if she reached out to Jai to expose our child, the flow of money would stop completely. Something had to give, though, because her greed–demands, to better put it–were starting to take a toll on my already strained finances.
Although money was tight, I really didn’t want Jai to get a job. Jai embodied everything I had ever wanted in a woman. She was fine as hell, intelligent, had A1 pussy and head, cooked daily, and kept the house looking and smelling good, all while excelling in her studies and consistently making the dean’s list. So, her working would’ve definitely put more stress on her than I ever wanted. Yet, I couldn’t completely dismiss the practicality of the situation.
If things took a turn for the worse with our relationship and we broke up or even became on the verge of getting evicted, I at least wanted her to be financially stable on her own and for her to not throw up in my face, “Well, you could’ve told me this, and I would’ve probably gotten a job to prevent this from happening.” So that was my main reasoning for bringing up a job, not so much that she needed to get one to help me out.
Adding to that, Jai was big on communication, so I knew if she ever found out about my child, our relationship would be good as done, but probably not so much because of my son. It would revolve more so around the fact that I kept that vital information from her, especially considering that years had passed since it occurred. The thought of Jai learning the truth scared the shit out of me, as I could only imagine the effect it would have on our relationship and the drama it might bring into everyone’s lives.
“My bad, bro. I’m just saying I wouldn’t be able to deal with that shit. You ever thought about just telling Jai the truth?”
“You ever thought about having to live without me?”
“What, nigga?”
“Yeah, because if Jai ever finds that shit out, she’s liable to kill my ass.”
“Hell, and the chick, too,” Jayceon added as he downed another shot of liquor.
“ Definitely her,” I agreed.
“Well, what you gon’ do? Because you sure as hell can’t keep paying her all that money she’s demanding. Sooner or later, yo’ ass gon’ be broke for real fooling around with her ass. Not only that but shid, Jai is liable to leave you, even without finding out about the child.”
“Why you say that?”
“Shid, you went from wining and dining her at fancy places like Ruth's Chris Steakhouse to telling her she has to settle for kids’ meals at McDonald's.”
“Nigga, I ain’t never did no shit like that and never will!”
“I was being sarcastic, bro. But nah, telling her to get a job is like you saying y’all gotta go 50/50 on everything, and based on the shit I’ve observed and that you and Cali have told me about her, Jai ain’t no 50/50 type of chick. She gon’ look at the situation like you introduced her to a lifestyle that you can’t maintain, nigga.”
“Says the nigga who can’t even come up with half his portion of the bills. You know you doing Cali wrong. Nigga, y’all rent compared to ours is lovely. If yo’ ass stop bullshitting around and put in the effort, you could easily make triple y’all rent in a day. Knowing yo’ lying ass, you probably do, though.”
“Not this time, bro. Shid, I’m even thinking about asking Mama for some money, so you know I gotta be doing bad.”
Our mother, Angela, would do anything for us; really, no questions asked or without a second thought. Unlike me, though, Jayceon was more on the prideful side when it came to asking anybody for shit, especially money. He'd rather struggle in silence than show vulnerability.
He continued. “But Leek, on some real shit, I honestly think Cali wants me to pay all the bills just so she can keep all her money.”
“And what the fuck is wrong with that? You’re supposed to be the man of the house, right?” I asked.
“To each their own, but hell nah! I know you love Jai and all, and no disrespect to her for what I’m about to say, but, bro, ain’t no way I’d be paying all the bills at a bitch’s crib, especially if we ain’t married. Fuck that!”
“See, that’s the difference between my situation and yours; my and Jai’s names are on our lease,” I lied. The truth was, hell, mine wasn’t even on there. Jayceon was my brother, and I usually confided in him about everything, but there were certain things even he didn’t know about or needed to know. “But a little FYI, bro,” I continued. “You’ll never be the man in a house owned by a woman. You’re just there to pay bills,” I schooled him. “Well, in your case, your ass is just there because you don’t pay shit.”
“Like I said, I ain’t doing that ‘paying all the bills’ shit. Hell, I’m already having to deal with kids that aren’t mine.”
I shook my head in disbelief at my brother's insensitivity. If it had been any other nigga making such a thoughtless comment about his girlfriend, I would have stepped in to set his ass straight without hesitation. But with Jayceon, it felt pointless at times—trying to talk sense into him was like banging my head against a brick wall. No matter how many times I tried to explain my perspective, it seemed to go in one ear and out the other, leaving no trace of understanding.
“This stepdaddy shit ain’t easy, bro. I see why their real daddy left,” Jayceon complained.
“Nigga, Cali still ain’t told you who their daddy is?” I whispered, getting serious.
“She hasn’t given me so much as a fuckin’ hint, bro. Every time we get on that topic, she’s quick to change the subject. Cali claims the nigga just didn’t want shit to do with them, but I find that shit hard to believe. Look, how ’bout you get Jai to talk. You know, do some pillow talking with her and see what info you can get out of her,” Jayceon suggested.
I stared at him like he had grown two heads.
“Nigga, Jai is as loyal to Cali as I am to yo’ ass, if not more loyal. So even if she does know something, I’d never get it out of her.”
“Yeah, you’re probably right about that shit.”
“Trust me, I know I’m right about that.”
I felt like fucking with Jayceon.
“Imagine if the twin’s daddy did come back in their lives; they’re a little older, they’ve gotten acquainted with the nigga, and one night they open the door for him while y’all asleep?”
“I could see Zion’s bad ass doing some shit like that!” Jayceon replied.
I chuckled. “But for real, bro, fuck their daddy. You step up and be the man that Cali and those kids need. Sometimes, children don’t need their biological parents in their lives; they need examples of what good mamas and daddies are. But your ass is so busy chasing pussy these days, which is one of the main reasons that you can’t take care of home.”
Jayceon was about to respond to my statement, but someone caught his eye.
“What the fuck is she doing here?” he mumbled. Walking in our direction was a female who I knew to be one of his side chicks.
“Well, hey! I wasn’t expecting to see you here!” Regina chipperly spoke.
“Likewise,” Jayceon replied, his tone flat and lacking enthusiasm. “But what’s up? You trying to ride some dick tonight?”
Regina rolled her eyes. “Does everything always have to be about sex with you?”
“When it comes to us , hell yeah!” he retorted bluntly. “Regina, you knew what this was from the beginning, so this shouldn’t come as a surprise. So, you trying to stay the night with a nigga or what?”
She smirked. “Well, you know I’m always down for a ride .”
“Cool. You gon’ have to get the room, though.”
Regina’s smile vanished, and she cocked her head in disbelief. “Really, Jayceon?”
“Yeah, really. A nigga doing bad right now.”
“Well, I don’t know about all of that. I don’t feel comfortable paying for a room, much less spending the night with a nigga that I can’t even spend the day with. Your lil’ girlfriend must gon’ be out of town or something.”
“See, now you’re worried about the wrong thing. And you act like I’m married or in a committed relationship. I already told you that me and her are just together because of the kids.”
Jayceon had women believing that Cali’s kids were his, and that’s why they were together.
‘“And chill with that lil’ girlfriend shit,” he added. “You know my girl will rock yo’ shit. Damn, just try to be a nigga’s peace; yo’ ass already can’t cook! And then, you see I’m here with my brother, so I’m trying to get back to our conversation. So, you gon’ get the room or what?”
“ Not ! Find another bitch to be your dummy for tonight!” she yelled, then angrily stormed off.
Jayceon shrugged. “Shid, I will. Lose one, I’ll have a new bitch by tonight. The fuck she thought?” he mumbled.
“Bro, you gotta chill on all these different women. You know love makes females do the craziest shit.”
“They don’t love me, bro; they love this dick.”
“Hell, that’s even worse! Yo’ ass gon’ wake up one morning with that shit cut off!”
“I wish a bitch would… Cali’s ass included.”
“Jay, all I’m trying to say is, don’t ever put your girl in a situation where she’s looked at as a joke, or you got other females looking at her like, if she only knew ,” I advised.
“That’s the same thing your baby mama be saying, huh?” he shot back.
“Touche muthafucka, but what happened with me and her was never supposed to happen, and you know that shit! I don’t give a fuck about that bitch!” I snarled.
“And I don’t give a fuck about these hoes, bro! They all become aware about Cali upfront. Whether they choose to still entertain my ass afterward is on them. As far as Cali goes, her ass isn’t going anywhere; she needs me.”
“Does she really, though?” I countered.
Jayceon looked at me as if he was in deep thought.
“Look, bro, let me handle my women the way I see fit, and you just focus on yo’ lil situation, which is way bigger and more complicated than mine. I can easily cut my bitches off. It ain’t that easy for you to do the same with yo’ baby mama.”
I blew out a breath of frustration. “Shit, I know.”
“All I can advise you to do is come up with some money and fast because if y’all lose that house or start having major money problems that reflect on y’all relationship, I hate to be the one to tell you, but you gon’ lose Jai too, bro… and to a better nigga.”
“A better nigga?” I retorted.
“Hell yeah! Bro, a woman like Jai is like a diamond in the rough. She definitely ain’t gon’ leave a somewhat good nigga to go to a worse one. Nah, she gon’ upgrade fa sho! I ain’t saying Cali ain’t a good woman because she is, but unlike Cali, Jai ain’t got no kids, and then she’s about to be a medical examiner soon, bro. If she meets the right nigga, one who’s already stable and doesn’t mind spending that bread on her, consider your woman sold to the highest bidder.”
Jayceon raised his shot glass in my direction before he tossed back the liquor in one swift motion.
It was rare for Jayceon to be the one giving me advice. Typically, I found myself in the role of the confidant, but the advice he gave was valid, and it made me start thinking about what he said.
Would Jai really leave me for another nigga? Or hell, even cheat on me? When that thought momentarily surfaced, I quickly dismissed it.
“Nah, bro. Jai isn’t like that. She’s as loyal as they come,” I offered the reassurance not only to him but to myself, wrapping my own anxieties in those familiar words.
“That’s because she’s had no reason not to be until now. Just get yo’ shit together, bro. I’d hate for you to come back to me a year, or hell, a month from now, just for me to say, “I told yo’ ass so.”
“Look at the pot talking about the kettle, nigga! Well, at least if Jai and I break up, I ain’t got to worry about getting put out of nowhere. I’m sure she’ll leave the house before I would.”
“Yo’ ass got jokes, I see.”
“Yeah, nigga!”
“Yeah, aight. Well, if Cali’s ass decides to put me out, I guess I’ll be moving into yo’ crib. Problem solved.”
“For real, though, I’ma figure something out because I’ll be damn if I let Jai leave me over this shit.” I leaned in closer. “Between me and you, I’m thinking about proposing to her next month on her birthday.”
Jayceon almost choked on his drink. “Propose? You mean, like getting married?”
“Yeah, nigga! You know another definition for proposal that I don’t?”
“Damn, bro. I know y’all have been together for some time now, but marriage? You sure you’re ready for that?”
I took a moment to reflect on my relationship with Jai.
“Yeah, I think I am. Unlike you, I know how to keep my dick in one woman, and one woman is enough to satisfy all my needs.”
“Yeah, now you do! Nigga, stop trying to act all innocent and shit now ! You only changed over a new leaf in life when you got a baby on Jai. I wonder what she’d think about yo’ ass or hell even do to yo’ ass if she became aware of all the bitches you’ve fucked while y’all been together, or the fact that you brought up her getting a job and all that other shit to fulfill yo’ baby mama’s desires.”
“Well, if she hasn’t found out by now, the other bitches that is, there’s a slim chance she never will. But if she does, the only way I could see that happening is if you tell her, nigga.”
“Come on now, bro. You know I ain’t no snitch!”
“Which means she’ll never find out then.”
“Not from me, at least. I am my brother’s keeper for life .”
“Likewise, bro,” I replied.
We firmly bumped fists, a gesture that felt like sealing a pact between us. I was grateful for the trust we shared and the unspoken promise to always have each other’s backs, no matter the circumstance.
“Nigga, you hell, though,” Jayceon said, shaking his head.
“What the hell does that make you then?”
“I know I ain’t shit! I don’t need nobody to validate that for me.” He laughed.
“As long as you know. But look, I’ma get up out of here,” I announced as I stood.
“Where you going, nigga?” Jayceon asked in surprise.
“Shid, to the crib!”
“To the crib?! I thought we were gonna chill here for at least another hour!”
“Yo’ ass can stay here another hour, but I’m finna dip.”
“You’re just trying to get home to make up with Jai! Ol’ simp ass nigga!”
I chuckled. “Nigga, call me what you want, but my girl gives me good pussy and f eeds me.”
“You really think that pussy or food gon’ be waiting on you after the shit you just told me went down between y’all this morning. Then again, Jai’s ass does cook every damn day. Cali’s ass be throwing down, too, but she’s only gon’ cook a good four days out of the week, maybe five if she’s in a good mood. But aight, nigga. Oh, but before you go, don’t forget to holla at yo’ boss about putting me on. Working for Bishop’s cheap ass ain’t what’s up no more. I’m trying to get to that long money, bro.”
“I feel you. I’ll talk to him, but that nigga is very picky about who he lets around his work. Shid, it took me forever to get the position that I do have. I’ll holla at him, though. No guarantees.”
“That’s all I ask,” he replied.
We exchanged another fist bump, and then I left.
Jayceon and I were both involved in the chaotic and often dangerous world of the drug business. However, we operated under different bosses. Mine was recognized as the biggest and most feared supplier in the area, dominating the market with an iron fist, which only made Jayceon's ambition to switch employers stronger. Like me, he was ready for a change that could lead to a bigger bag and a better life.
I just had to figure out what I was going to do about me and Jai’s situation. Not only did I love her, but I knew what she could do to a dick when it came to sucking and riding that muthafucka, so I refused to let another nigga get to experience what was only meant for me. I was Jai’s first, and I planned to be the only nigga who got the pleasure of knowing what her mouth and pussy felt like. I wasn’t a killer, but I could definitely see myself going to war with a nigga over my girl, and I didn’t give a fuck who that nigga was.