Chapter 36
The Darcys arrived at Pemberley at the start of April. Elizabeth was prepared to begin her duties as the Mistress of the estate, but Darcy was completely opposed.
“Your last visit was clouded by so much uncertainty. I want you to enjoy the estate and its environs before you get buried in responsibilities.”
“But Fitzwilliam, will not the servants and staff have expectations now that a Mistress has arrived after so long?”
“The staff will understand our need for privacy for the first few weeks. As for the tenants I am planning to take you with me for a tour of the estate. I have been away for a while and will need to make rounds, and this way you can be introduced to everyone.”
Elizabeth finally agreed that it sounded like a fine idea.
Thus, her days at Pemberley settled into a quiet rhythm.
She and Darcy would have breakfast in the shared sitting room and then would deal with their correspondence.
Mrs. Reynolds was still in charge of the meal planning and day-to-day household decisions but would consult Mrs. Darcy on any major decisions.
Georgiana was still in London with her relatives and would return after another month.
Until then Darcy wanted his new wife to still enjoy a honeymoon period.
In the past Darcy had always ridden across the estate whenever required, but with Elizabeth still uncertain in her riding skills he chose to drive around in a phaeton.
She was naturally compassionate, and the ladies and children easily gravitated towards her.
Darcy was once again proud of the perfect wife he had chosen.
There had been a time early in their acquaintance that he had considered her unsuitable as the Mistress of Pemberley.
The warmth with which she was now mingling with his tenants made him realise his own hubris.
He, who had been trained from childhood for his role, had never found it as effortless as his wife seemed to do.
Another surprise had been her riding lessons.
It seemed she had retained her initial training and was quick at getting her bearings.
Soon she was cantering around the park under the supervision of a groom.
The one thing that Elizabeth seemed to abhor was the morning visits from the curious neighbours.
Though she had always been a social creature, the arts and artifice that ladies often adopted were something that she found tiresome.
She never failed to be gracious and polite to all her guests and even found a few with whom she supposed a friendship would be possible, but the blatantly curious matrons, with their veiled comments, always drove her to her husband’s arms the moment they left.
Darcy was happy to offer comfort and a listening ear after every such tedious visit.
The evenings were mostly spent in the library.
Elizabeth had been acutely aware of the gaps in her education and was determined to improve her mind.
Pemberley’s library offered her a vast amount of knowledge and Darcy was happy to guide her on her journey.
As the weeks passed, Darcy was reluctantly pulled into estate matters and tenant concerns.
Elizabeth decided to use those times for practicing her music.
She had always enjoyed playing but had been indifferent to perfection, but now she had a new motivation.
Her husband loved her playing and requested it often and she wished him to genuinely appreciate it.
As she sat on the pianoforte shuffling the sheet music, she could not help but remember that it would soon be a year since the fated proposal at Hunsford.
The whole of her visit to Kent kept playing on her mind whenever she was by herself.
She considered bringing it up with her husband, but Darcy had seemed unaware of the fast-approaching date.
She had no wish for him to recollect the time which had been so distressing for him and hence kept her silence.
Soon the day of the anniversary arrived, and Elizabeth’s morning started with a tumult of emotions.
She got up to an empty bed for the first time after her marriage.
They had shared a bed every night and till now Fitzwilliam had never left before she awoke.
An unreasonable disappointment settled in the pit of her stomach.
Her maid arrived with the message that there was an urgent situation with one of the tenants and thus Mr. Darcy had rushed off at dawn.
Elizabeth knew that she was overacting but could not help the loneliness that seemed to engulf her.
She barely touched her breakfast before going to the music room, but music could not hold her interest either.
She stood by the window for a long while lost in remembrance of all that had passed and then as if something struck her, she rushed upstairs to her dressing room.
There, in the one of the drawers tucked in an old journal she found the letter that Fitzwilliam had written to her in Kent.
She slowly walked back to their room and sat on the bed as she read the letter again.
Tears sprang from her eyes and by the time she was finished reading, she was sobbing uncontrollably.
It was in this state that her husband found her.
“Elizabeth, whatever is the matter!” Darcy rushed towards her, alarmed by her tears.
As Elizabeth continued to sob her incoherent speech did not make any sense to her worried husband.
“Have you received some distressing news?” He said as he noticed the letter next to her and picked it up.
Before she could explain, Darcy had already started to read and frowned as he recognized the contents.
“Why ever are you reading this nonsense?” He said in a distasteful voice, his face slipping into an imperceptible mask.
“Fitzwilliam, please do not be angry with me.” Elizabeth whispered as she tried to wipe her tears. Realising that he was frightening his already overwrought wife, he sat down next to her and pulled her to him.
“My darling, it is not you that I am angry at. That letter is a painful reminder of my boorish behaviour towards you. I had expected that you would have burnt it by now.”
“Never!” Elizabeth exclaimed. “This is too important to me to ever lose. It was the first glimpse that I got of your true character. It led me to understand my own follies and consider your merits. This is also the first letter I received from the man I love. Seeing that you have only ever written one more letter, it is rather precious,” Elizabeth said as she finally got her tears in control.
“But why read it now?” Darcy questioned as he adjusted their position so that she was fully in his arms.
“I had not wanted to remind you, but it is the anniversary of your proposal. When I did not see you this morning, I was rather lonely.”
“Oh Love! I am not sure how I could have forgotten the day. But it is hardly an anniversary to celebrate dearest.”
“I am just being silly, Fitzwilliam. You have spoiled me since our wedding with your constant attention, and today when you were not present, I was terrified. I think it is time for me to start taking care of the household. We cannot always remain in the bliss of each other’s company.”
“Of course. If that is what you wish. Georgiana will be coming back from London by next week and you will have some more company in the house. Maybe you could invite one of your sisters to accompany her.”
“That is a wonderful idea. I am sure Jane would enjoy Pemberley and with my tacit invitation to Miss Bingley there is a possibility that she may meet Mr. Bingley again.” Elizabeth responded excitedly.
They remained in that idyllic position for a while.
Both were basking in each other's presence and love and thinking about how far they had come since last year. It was a little later when Elizabeth had recovered from her emotional outburst and was playfully tugging at Darcy’s hair as he lay in her lap that he tentatively asked,
“Would you mind very much if your youngest sister also came with Jane?”
“Lydia? Whatever for?” Elizabeth asked, surprised.
“She has been having a hard time with her friends in Meryton. Her accident has changed her in a significant way, she is no longer as frivolous as she used to be. The people around her are perplexed with this change and it forces her to pretend her usual high spirits. Then there is her injury. Her eyesight, though much improved, still causes her significant headaches after long periods of strenuous activity. She finds herself unable to concentrate at gatherings as all the noise bothers her. I feel that she wants to be different from the selfish and careless girl she used to be, and a change of environment might help her,” he finished.
“How do you know all this?” Elizabeth asked him with a suspicious look.
“She told me. In her letters.”
“Lydia has written to you!” Elizabeth exclaimed once again.
“Why are you so surprised? I am her brother now. She wanted someone to share her feelings with and she was impressed by the length of the letter I wrote you from Longbourn's kitchen. She told me that nobody had ever written such a long letter to her.”
“May I see her letter?” Elizabeth asked, still unable to believe all that she was hearing.
Darcy gently got up and fetched a bundle of letters from his drawer and handed it to her.
“So many,” she said faintly as she opened the oldest one. As she progressed with the second, she looked up at him again.
“You have written back to her?” she questioned in wonderment.
“Of course, I have.” Darcy answered, slightly offended. “Why would I not respond to a letter from one of my sisters. I am not sure why you are so surprised?”
“I am surprised because in the whole course of my life I do not remember a single letter that Lydia wrote to me that was not for an errand or a gift she wished me to purchase.”
“That is exactly the point. She has changed but everyone keeps expecting her to behave the same. I was hoping that if she came here where not many people know her, she would be free to develop into her new personality without judgement,” Darcy finished.
Elizabeth stared at him for a while, then carefully placed the letters on the side table, stretched up on her knees and pulled him in for a deep kiss.
“You are the sweetest and the most wonderful man; I am blessed to have you,” she said as she pulled him back to the bed kissing him again.