8. Blake
Chapter 8
Blake
You stupid, dumb-ass prick of a man.
I almost kissed her. I’d just told her she could trust me, that I wouldn’t do anything she does not want me to. That she is the one who sets the pace. And not five minutes later I’m dreaming about tasting her, wondering how she’d look bent over that pink monstrosity she calls a couch.
In the end, right before I left, I think she may have wanted me to kiss her…but is that something she wants, or did I make her think she does? I haven’t exactly shied away from touching her, or telling her she matters to me. That could have messed with her head, made her want things she would never want on her own.
After all, when it comes to girls, I’m only good for one thing: to be a quick hookup. I’m like the human version of those tiny purses actresses bring on red carpets—a fashion accessory to be paraded around, but serve no purpose.
To be used, but barely liked. Certainly not loved.
Never loved.
I throw back another shot.
“You know those won’t help you feel better, right?” A sweet female voice whispers in my ear, her fingertip traveling down my spine. “But I can.”
I cast her a sideways glance, though I can barely see her face in this dark and dingy bar. I can’t believe I let myself get dragged here. Even the bar stools are sticky. “No, thanks. I’m quite taken.”
“I heard a rumor, but wasn’t sure it was true. I don’t see her, though,” she says, and like she’s not laying it on thick enough she sticks out her chest to show off her cleavage. “I won’t tell her if you won’t. It will be our little secret.”
At least the rumor mill is working in our favor.
With a sigh, I turn to face the girl. She’s wearing a dress that is a good two inches too short, the lace of her bra peeking out on the top. Even just the fact that she chose to wear an outfit like that to a place like this, with its stained wallpaper and sticky cracked tile floor, says enough about her intentions for the night. It’s almost sad, really. “I’m not a cheater. You won’t convince me, but I’m sure any of my teammates would be delighted to keep you company tonight. You should try your luck with them.”
I rise to my feet. I’m done with this place. When I agreed with the guys to come here I did so to celebrate our win and take my mind off Alexis. But while they’re at the pool table honoring Levi’s one-drink rule, I’m sneaking drinks at the bar with no one but her taking up my thoughts.
“You should have taken her up on that offer, Taylor. As someone who’s fucked Alexis before, I can tell you it’s not worth it. Better to bed this one—or any other girl—instead.”
My gaze shoots up to the other side of the bar, where the sight of Hudson’s self-satisfied smirk makes my blood boil.
He ruined her life. He terrifies her.
And now he’s badmouthing her?
It takes three strides for me to reach him. Three strides for the color to drain from his face as he realizes his mistake. My knuckles are itching to punch him, to hold him down until he wets himself in fear. But I don’t want to give Alexis any reason to be afraid of me.
Levi and Raf are behind me in a second, their hands on my shoulders to keep me from punching him. I have no intention to.
“Maybe not to you, but she and I have no problems at all,” I say in a voice that doesn’t sound like mine. “That being said, talk about Alexis one more time, and I’ll make you wish you’d never learned to speak at all. Understood?”
He’s backing up now, his muscles taut with fear as he crashes into stools and chairs. Hudson’s always been a coward, even when he was still on the team. Never went into the attack, barely did any defense. The day they kicked him off the team was glorious, especially because it made room for Raf to come in and secure our victory. Now I just wish I’d slammed him into the boards a few more times.
“I said, understood?”
He gives the saddest, most pathetic little nod in history, his whole body shaking like a leaf. “You’re insane, you know that? Both of you are. You deserve each other.”
“Finally, something we agree on,” I say, and because I’m already being an alpha jock incarnate, I pretend to jump him just to watch him squirm. It sends him right out the door.
Good fucking riddance.
“What the hell was that about?” Levi asks. “How does he even know Alexis, let alone about the two of you?”
I pause, keeping my back turned to him so he can’t see my surprise. Alexis hasn’t told him, then, about the situation with Hudson. Does that mean she’s been keeping it a secret, living in that fear all alone? No, Alissa knows. Her eyes said as much when she caught us on the couch and I told her about Alexis’s wrist. Still, to keep that kind of thing all to yourself…
“I don’t know, man,” I say slowly. “But I don’t trust him for a second. If you see him around, make sure he doesn’t go near Alexis. Just to be safe.”
“You and Alexis, huh?” Raf grins. “I can’t believe you finally made a move on her without telling me. We’re supposed to be best friends, man.”
Hearing Raf say we’re friends sparks a warm feeling in my chest, though the puzzled look on Levi’s face at the word finally reminds me I have to play into the ruse, not the truth.
“It just sort of happened,” I shrug. “We’re taking it slow, though. You haven’t missed much.”
Raf jabs me in the chest with a laugh. “Yeah, right. You can play innocent all you want, Taylor, but you know I’m going to get the truth out of you at some point.”
With one last glance at the door I let Levi bring me back to the group, trying to steady myself enough that I can pretend I’m just playing my part.
My teammates, not even trying to hide the fact they got another round in Levi’s absence, cheer as we approach.
“What was that about?” Eric asks, jerking his chin towards the bar, and Raf claps my shoulder.
“Blake’s got himself a girlfriend,” he sings in a teasing tone, and to my horror everyone but a scowling Levi joins in the chorus as he sings, “Blake and Alexis sitting in a tree, k-i-s-s-i-n-g.”
“Alright, alright. Settle down.” I roll my eyes like I’m in on the joke, though really, I am the joke.
Because I am obsessed with a girl who loves to remind me that what we have is fake. A girl so lovely and kind that I’m drawn to her like a moth to a flame. A girl for whom I’d destroy myself to be close to her.
It defies all logic, the way she is worth every risk. Every inconvenience. She might have only known my name for a few weeks, but it’s longer than I deserve. She will never love me, and I don’t even care.
Because Alexis Moore is the sun in my universe, and I only want to be in her orbit.