30. Blake
Chapter 30
Blake
The girls are out with Charlotte for the afternoon to do some bonding, maybe some shopping. With Bill promising to look after Charlotte’s father, it leaves only me and Levi back at the house.
Alexis and her mother haven’t stopped talking about Iceland since Christmas, though my gift hasn’t helped Levi’s dislike of me one bit. Nor did our midnight kiss on New Year’s, though that one is on me.
I spend most of the afternoon hiding in Alexis’s room, not in the mood for Levi’s passive aggressive remarks. She has enough books to entertain me, and I had the foresight to bring a bottle of water with me. I call Raf to ask about his Christmas–he’s introducing Nico to his family this week, to mixed results– and send Maria a loving text promising to call soon.
Only a few minutes pass before she texts me back, inviting me over for dinner, and when I tell her I’m at my girlfriend’s home for the holidays, her texts become all caps. It’s clear that neither of us saw this coming, judging by her reaction, but I know this is exactly what she’s always wanted for me.
Eventually my hunger draws me out of that room, and cruel irony puts Levi right at the bottom of the stairs by the front door.
“Check it out, Taylor,” Levi laughs. “That guy you tried to beat up sent us a card.”
There is only one person he could mean. The blood drains from my face as I snatch the card out of his hand. “How the fuck does he know where you live?”
Have you missed me? Maybe I’ll drop by to wish you a merry Christmas in person. We have a lot to talk about. See you soon. - Hudson
I’m going to be sick.
“He said he had something for me and needed my address. Probably trying to kiss my ass so I’ll put in a good word for him sometime,” Levi shrugs. “It’s happened before.”
He takes a swig of his tea, staring at the deceptively cute card in my hand. Is he really that ignorant? I mean, I know Levi is my future brother in law and I should probably try and work things out between us, make sure we’re on good terms. But after what Alexis told me on Christmas Eve…I can’t help but put some of the blame on him. Not fully, of course—that monster is the only one responsible for his actions—but Levi could have looked out for her better. He’s her older brother, where was he when she needed him most? Why didn’t he spot the signs, watch her drink, and keep an eye on her?
I grit my teeth. “For once in your life think, Levi. That bastard has been off the team for years—why would he care now? What would he need from you in particular?”
“Christ, Taylor, what does it matter?” Levi throws his head back with a groan. “Do you have some sort of personal vendetta against him or something? It’s none of your business, anyway.”
Levi reaches for the card but I dodge his attempt, taking a few steps back. Alexis can never know about this. Ever. Which makes it much safer to destroy it than to give it back. There’s nothing of importance on it, anyway.
“It sure as fuck became my business the moment he laid hands on Alexis,” I say, the words coming out harsher than I mean it. It feels apt, though.
Levi stills, almost dropping his mug. He sets it on a small table by the couch before turning back to face me, the shock clear in his face. “He…what?”
“Oh, yeah. That son of a bitch has been terrorizing her for over a year now, following her, leaving her notes and unwanted gifts. He made her life a living hell while you were out there pretending life is made out of roses, and now you’ve made sure she’s no longer safe in her own home.”
Levi sputters. “You’re blaming me for this? How the fuck was I supposed to know if she never told me?”
“You are her brother!” My voice is louder now, nearly crossing the line into yelling. I don’t care. He needs to hear it, needs the reality check of what he just did. “You’re the one who’s supposed to watch out for her out there, making sure she’s alright. How come I remember the exact day I noticed the change in her while I didn’t even know her then, and you haven’t noticed even now? Are you really that far up your own ass?”
Levi draws closer, nostrils flaring, shoulders locked. But I know that anger isn’t directed at me—it’s the anger that comes with being helpless, of being told about something happening that you have no control over. The anger that comes with shock and grief alike. “You have no right?—”
“Don’t I? Because I’m the one who’s been making sure Alexis gets to and from class safely. I’m the one who threatened Hudson’s sorry ass, twice, to protect her. The one who pried his fingers off her when she was too terrified to do it herself. I am the one picking up the pieces you didn’t even notice were broken.” I shake my head. “You know, I used to look up to you, Levi. But these past few months have shown me exactly who you are. A self-centered, childish little man who cares more about appearing close to his sisters than being it. I love Alexis, man. She’s my world. So you can hate me all you want, but I’m not going anywhere. Especially not now.”
I hold up the card, reminding him of his mistake one last time before stalking towards the kitchen. Maybe I should put it in water or scratch it with a sharpie. No—I need fire. That is the only way to get rid of it for good.
“Blake, wait.”
Halting in the archway, I glance over my shoulder. He’s leaning over the couch, his shoulders sagged in defeat. Even from across the room I can see the tears shining in his eyes; it must finally be sinking in.
Good.
“I’m sorry, man. For all of it,” Levi says. “I thought you were using Alexis as some sort of weird threat to make me keep my word, or making her fall for you because you could. I got protective of her, but clearly I was protecting her from the wrong person at the wrong time. There is no way to make this right, so thanks—for keeping her safe when I failed her.”
I stare at him for a long time. He’s right. There is no way to make this right.
Shit, I can’t even look at him right now. I hold up the card again. “Alexis can never know about any of this, understood? I’m going to burn this card, and if anyone asks, we have been playing video games and watching hockey all afternoon. Nothing special happened. Agreed?”
Levi nods, wiping his face on the sleeve of his black sweater, and I take it as my cue to leave. Alexis could be home any moment now—there is no time to waste.
There’s still some kindling in the pit, and despite the snow it’s easy to call the fire. I stare into the flames, feeding the card to the heat until it melts underneath my touch, shrinking further until nothing remains.
I wish it were that easy to forget.