33. Blake
Chapter 33
Blake
My heart hammers in my throat as I push open the double doors. Alissa crouches against the wall a little distance away, stuttering and distraught as she mutters something into her phone—probably calling Bill and Nora. Her bloodshot eyes widen as she notices me, her quivering lips slightly parted. I pull her into a tight hug.
“Hey, she’ll be okay. It’ll be okay,” I whisper. “Where is she, Lis?”
Alissa’s voice, usually brimming with wit and confidence, trembles with emotion like she can barely muster the words. “Room 13.”
I give her a final squeeze before I rush past her and down the hall, the stream of doors never-ending. When it does, my knees buckle as I take in the sight.
Alexis looks so frail in the artificial light, so pale and vulnerable. Wires poke out from her arms, sensors hooked up to her chest and scalp. A bandage is wrapped around her temples, bloodstained and dirty, the rest of whatever skin is visible not faring much better. Even the knowledge that she bruises like a peach doesn’t help, because she still had to be touched there to get the bruises.
My steps are slow and careful, as if I were approaching a wounded animal instead of my beloved girlfriend, but I can’t stop myself because this scene is straight out of a nightmare. It takes every bit of my strength not to start bawling, but I have to be strong. Not only for Alexis but for Alissa and Levi. They need someone they can rely on, and the best way I can help Alexis is to help her siblings.
Even if I’m a fucking wreck myself.
I should have been there. I knew how dangerous those roads are in the dark, knew that jackass hasn’t dropped his obsession with her. I should have insisted on driving her to the game or at the very least arranged for someone else to join her on the way. Hudson bided his time waiting for me to slip up, and I was stupid enough to do just that.
I failed her tonight. She trusted me with her deepest secret, trusted me to keep her safe. And I didn’t. I don’t think I can ever truly forgive myself for that.
Alexis is mine. I am hers. Even when we were still firmly in the pretend phase, I’d sworn to do everything to make her feel safe and protect her and take care of her like a bodyguard would a princess.
But when it mattered most, I wasn’t there.
Her cheek is cold beneath my palm and a stifled sob leaves my lips as I run my thumb along the split in her skin.
“Can you guys stop pretending I’m dead? It’s depressing.” Alexis’s eyelids flutter before revealing those gorgeous silver-blue irises, the color darkened with pain and fatigue. Even so, a ghost of a smile plays on her lips, no doubt for my sake. “Blake…”
“I’m here. It’s okay– you’re okay.” I lean in to press a feather-light kiss to her forehead. “I love you. You’re safe now, I promise. I’m so fucking sorry I wasn’t there, Alexis. But I’m here now, and I’m never leaving your side again. You’re safe.”
“I’m sorry.” The words are barely audible through her small and trembling voice, but I hear her loud and clear. I shake my head.
“No need to be sorry. I’m the one who let you walk alone. This is my fault,” I say, and my voice breaks. “You fought so hard, so bravely, and you’re still here. That’s all that matters. That you’re still here.”
Footsteps rush towards the room and within seconds Alissa and Levi appear, the pair looking even worse than I do. Alissa’s hair is in a frazzled bun, several loose strands framing her mascara-stained face. Her brother is more composed, but only slightly, his anger taking the forefront to hide the hopelessness we all feel.
“Shit, Lex,” he gasps with a sob. “I’m going to kill him, I’ll?—”
Alissa stops him with a hand to the chest. “The police as well as half the school are looking for him. Jail will be worse than death.”
“Not the way I’d do it,” I mutter, and the ghost of a smile crosses Levi’s lips as we find a common ground.
Alexis winces, the machine beeping faster. I squeeze her hand, running soothing circles over the top of her palm with my thumb. This seems to relax her a little, as the beeping slows.
“You don’t have to stay, you know. They’re only keeping me overnight for observation, I’ll be out before you have time to miss me,” Alexis says, though her attempt at humor falls flat by the weakness in her voice.
“You’re out of your mind if you think we are leaving you like this,” Levi says. “We’re a unit, remember?”
Alexis mutters profanities with a wince, her hand moving up to her head. From what I’ve heard, she got quite a blow—her head must be killing her.
“You should sleep,” Alissa says softly. “Don’t worry about us. Just think of happy things and sleep.”
The ghost of a smile pulls at Alexis’s lips. “I have a concussion, you dumbass. It’s not that easy.”
“You’re not that easy.”
“Your mom’s not that easy.”
“And she’s back,” Levi mutters. “Has anyone spoken to a nurse yet? Or are we blindly trusting the sleepy, achy mummy?”
I shake my head no and watch as Alissa does the same. With a sigh, Levi disappears into the hallway to find someone who can give us more information. Alissa clutches her twin’s hand like it’s a tether, a silent plea to be alright. How terrifying this must be for her, seeing Alexis like this. Their bond is one I will never fully be able to understand, though I’m glad they have each other to call on in moments like these.
I squeeze Alissa’s shoulder in support as I make my way toward the hallway, giving them a moment of privacy while I hunt down a few more chairs and some coffee to pull us through the night.
Strong . I need to be strong. For Alexis, but also her siblings. Alissa is a wreck. Even Levi, though we’re still at odds, could use a shoulder to lean on. So in an empty room on the other side of the hall, far enough not to be heard by any of them, I allow myself a few minutes of weakness.
The tears come hard and fast, one thing circling my mind over and over and over like a broken record.
I could have lost her.