Monday Doe-Eyed—After School—Vass’s Bedroom
Monday: Doe-Eyed—After School—Vass’s Bedroom
Sometimes, I think I see flashes
of the assault in Vass’s big brown eyes,
like a deer in headlights,
but I could be imagining it.
Vass doesn’t talk about it directly,
not since they told me on the swings,
but we talk about things related to it.
We talk about the support group
they go to once a week,
but I only get the gist of it,
without any details
of these people to hold on to.
They’re important to Vass,
but Vass can’t share them with me.
It’s like a portal to another world,
or a layer of reality I can’t see.
“When do I get to meet
this anxious young man?”
Vass asks me when I tell them
about my date with Obi,
and read them a poem
I wrote about him.
“I don’t know,” I say.
“It was just one date.”
“I can’t wait to check out those fangs
you’re so obsessed with.”
“I’m not obsessed,” I protest,
“and I didn’t call them fangs.”
Vass snatches my notebook
and finds the page I just shared.
“Right there:
‘his dog-toothed smile,’ you said.”
Vass quotes me back to myself.
“Woof, woof.” Vass teases me.
When I’ve recovered from
the biggest cringe of my life,
Vass looks at me, doe-eyed.
“I’m so happy for you, Kai.”
Vass may not be able to share
everything with me,
but I’m happy I can still share
everything with them.
“If you really wanna meet Obi,”
I say, as the idea comes to me,
“you could come to bouldering.”
Vass tilts their head
as they consider my invitation
with an unreadable expression.
“Matt’s been wanting to meet you, too,”
I add, as if this would sweeten the deal.
But this isn’t about Matt or Obi.
It’s about Vass and me.
I wanna spend as much time
with Vass as possible,
especially when
they seem so vulnerable.