I Choose You (Blue Ridge University #3)

Chapter 1

Logan

Why couldn’t I get out of my fucking truck?

The sweat formed on my temples long before I pulled into the parking lot of the complex.

Once I parked, I realized the back of my shirt clung to me under my coat.

Ripping off my seatbelt, I tore my coat from my body and threw it behind me on top of the bags and boxes that filled the second row.

I gripped the steering wheel tight, the anxiety building the longer I sat there staring at the townhouse ahead of me through my windshield.

Ty texted me the address last night. I left ahead of my parents by thirty minutes so I’d have time here alone to, well, deal with what I was dealing with at the moment.

The chances of me having one of these hitting me at this moment were high, very high, just like my therapist warned.

I didn’t want to believe her, though, hoping I was in control of my thoughts and emotions enough to ward it off.

But the panic attack was setting in, nonetheless.

My breaths were quick but at the same time hard to come by.

As if my lungs were begging my brain to allow me to breathe.

My stomach churned at the thought of stepping out of my truck, the knots coiling up tighter and tighter as the minutes passed.

Looking around, I confirmed there was no one nearby to witness the almost breakdown that was about to happen in this driver’s seat.

Throwing my head against the headrest, I forced the air from my chest with a deep groan, the sound bouncing around the cab.

My eyes searched for something to focus on, to distract me.

It was a strategy that seemed to help.

There was a small frog statue in the tiny patch of grass in front of the townhouse that my eyes latched onto, its glass eyes seeming to stare back at me.

He was cute. There were some lichens growing on him from being outside for so long, but it added to his appeal.

It seemed to change his color from the blue tint of the cement he was made of, to a greener shade to make him seem more lifelike.

And he was actually smiling. I don’t know why I found that funny, but I did.

My breathing started to level off. As I scrubbed my face with both hands, I felt as though I’d thwarted the worst of it this time.

A success.

Well, I’d like to count it as a success, even though I had a panic attack before getting out of the car. Stopping it as quickly as I did was a success.

Turning my attention back to the townhouse in front of me, it looked empty. There weren’t any lights on, and the front door was closed. No one was supposed to be here; that was intentional on my part. Making sure I would be the first to move in at the start of the semester was important to me.

More than important.

It was necessary.

If I had to move back to school before meeting some of my new roommates for the first time…

Well, I had to get here first. I needed to be here and settled long before anyone else was. The sheer fact that I was living with three girls was stressful enough. Throw in that I’d never met two of them and I was completely terrified.

Most guys my age would probably think I was in a pretty good situation, having three female roommates. However, considering my history freshman year here at Blue Ridge University, it was not the perfect setup for me.

Thankfully, Becca was one of the three girls I’d be living with, and I considered her to be one of my best friends. Her boyfriend, Ty, was my best friend. Those were two perks I was hanging on to in hopes it would make this whole situation more tolerable.

As I looked back at the building in front of me, so many thoughts raced through my head.

Would I be strong enough to be here and not drink?

Was I ready to be here, surrounded by that temptation?

Could I live with all girls?

Would I be able to continue my sessions with my therapist?

Was I ready to see Lanie? With Xander? After all this time…

The knock on my window caused me to jump so high I hit my head on the ceiling of my truck. “Fuck!” Looking over, I saw my dad, well, my stepdad, Matt, shivering outside, and I rolled down the window.

“You OK, buddy?” I couldn’t tell if the shakiness in his voice came more from how cold he was from being outside without a coat or that he was obviously as nervous as I was about my return to school.

The fact that I was still sitting in my truck by the time he and my mom arrived was concerning. The past thirty minutes were gone, and my sweaty shirt and speeding heart were all I had to show for it.

And I think he could tell.

“Yeah, I’m good, Dad.”

Even though Matt was my stepdad, he was my dad in every other sense of the word. He earned me calling him “Dad” way back in middle school and I haven’t looked back since.

I unbuckled my seat belt to join him outside. Maybe I just needed them here with me, to have their support to do this.

“OK, let’s get going, it’s cold out here and I want these cars emptied pronto.” He walked back to his car as he and my mom started taking bags from their back seat.

Stealing a few more seconds and a couple deep breaths, I finally pushed the door open and stepped out of my truck. The brisk air took me by surprise, and I noticed my breath escaping in white puffs from my mouth.

The drive was only a few hours, but my stiff legs and back definitely felt as though they needed a good stretch. Pulling open the tailgate, I pulled some of the boxes and bags from the bed of my truck and piled them onto the ground.

“Hey sweetie, how ya’ doing?” My mom put her hand on my arm as she came up next to me.

“I’m doing OK, Mom.” By this point, I was. Turning to look at her, so she could see I was being honest, I continued. “I mean it, I’m good.”

She smiled, a warm, real smile. Patting my arm, she started walking away.

“Hey, Mom,” I called out, running to catch up with her. “Head inside, it’s too cold out here for you.” I reached into my pocket. “Here, take the key. Lanie told me my room is on the second floor, on the left. I’ll start bringing things up and you can put them away for me.”

Her smile turned appreciative as she took the key from my hand and stepped toward the townhouse. I turned to my truck, and the heaviness in my chest lifted slightly with each step.

Maybe it was having my parents here, or maybe it was just finally getting to school that did it. But I was feeling better.

I felt like I could actually breathe.

“Logan, is there anything still in the car?” Matt asked as I came in from outside with a box in my arms.

“Your car’s empty, but there are a few things still in the back of my truck. One more trip should do it.” As I headed back out, I saw a familiar car pull up. “Better late than never, asshole!” I yelled as he was getting out of his car.

“I’m not late if you’re done unpacking your shit. That means I’m right on time.” Ty laughed as he walked over.

Our embrace was a big one. We were both excited I was back at brU, even if we weren’t able to live together.

I made my decision to return too late with nowhere to live.

The fact that Lanie moved in with Xander, although for unfortunate reasons, was my luck and gave me her room here with her old roommates.

“Happy to see ya, man.” Ty gripped me tight as he patted my back. “Blue Ridge missed ya.” He pulled away, a grin plastered on his face. “I missed you, too.”

Ty and I were friends before we came here to college. Freshman year was when our friendship really changed; as roommates, we became closer. But that was also the year I really fucked up.

“Yeah, man, same, but no more sappy shit. Help me get the rest of my crap and come see my mom and Matt.”

Ty followed me to the back of my truck, and we grabbed the last of the bags I’d brought from home. Moving into a house was quite different than moving into a dorm. We had furniture we had to bring and put together, which meant tools and shit.

“When will Becca be here?” I asked as we walked through the front door.

“She texted me about two hours ago that she was leaving. Shouldn’t be long now.” Ty turned toward me. “How do you think it’s going to be living with her?”

I had no idea how it was going to be living with my best friend’s girlfriend. It felt kind of weird, honestly. We were all friends before they started hooking up last year. However, now that they were together, it was weird that I’d be the one living with her.

“I don’t know, but I will say one thing.

I’m thankful as shit that you guys worked everything out last semester.

It would’ve fucking sucked if I was coming back to live with her and you guys weren’t talking or whatever shit you were going through.

” I looked at Ty, and he had a small grin on his face telling me he agreed.

We reached the door to my room, and my mom and Matt were trying to figure out where to put my underwear.

“I think I can figure that one out on my own, Mom.”

Ty and I barreled into the room, arms full of bags and boxes, and I hoped she would take the hint.

“Ty!” she screamed as she ran to hug him. “Oh, it’s so good to see you. How is that baby girl of yours? She must be getting so big already. What is she, seven months by now?”

“That’s exactly how old she is, Mrs. Larsen. Great memory.” Ty’s smile was wide. “And she is getting big. She cut a second tooth over Christmas break, so the house didn’t get much sleep. But she’s great, thanks.”

Ty always had a huge smile on his face when talking about his daughter Savannah.

It took some time for him to let himself get to this point, considering the mother of his daughter was not Becca, but his ex from high school.

Though he and Becca were slowly working through it, considering she only found out about Savannah a couple months ago.

I was shocked yet happy to learn she handled it as well as she did; she can be somewhat dramatic.