Chapter 22
We sleep in bed for most of the day to sleep off the hangover. I’m in love with the warmth radiating off the beautiful boy next to me. I snuggle in more and more until there is no space between us.
When I was younger, all I ever wanted was a boyfriend.
I dreamed of what is would be like. There were some nights I couldn’t fall asleep without imagining someone sleeping next to me, cuddling into me until I fell asleep.
Now that it’s finally happening, I can’t help but wonder how I got by without the real thing.
Teddy starts to get up, and I whine at how cold I feel now. I follow him and wrap my arms around his waist and nestle my chin into the hollow of his neck.
“Hi,” I whisper, planting a kiss on his cheek and letting out a sigh. This boy should have been in my life a lot sooner than now. I was so deep in my own depression that I hid myself from the world. As soon as I tried to get out of that hole, I met Teddy. It’s like a reward for trying my best.
And I am trying my best. That’s all a person can do.
“Hey, cutie,” he says and my tummy fills with a hundred tiny butterflies.
“Hi,” I giggle in his ear. “Why are you up?”
“I’m making us something to eat since we haven’t eaten all day,” he replies, and suddenly my belly rumbles, signalling that he is indeed correct.
“We could just order something?” I say, still holding onto my boyfriend’s body for dear life. I like saying that word. Boyfriend. It feels right and makes my head buzz in a way that makes me smile like an idiot.
“No,” he says, prolonging the word like a song.
“I’m cooking something healthy for us. We can’t live off takeaways.
” It’s then I realise that I have been doing that.
I haven’t had a properly cooked meal in so long.
That sometimes happens with my depression, I’ll start living off takeaways because I don’t have the energy to cook.
I don’t want to beat myself up over it, but I should definitely start getting better at managing it.
I have to get over the fact that there is no cure for depression. Some days I will just have to lay in bed and feel sad. And that’s okay. It only gets bad when I don’t get back up again, and I start beating myself up over it.
It’s an illness. When you are sick, you lay in bed all day don’t you? Depression is the same. Again, sometimes you just have to ride it out. There’s going to be good days and bad days, but I won’t let the bad days win, not anymore.
Teddy makes a pasta out of the last remaining ingredients in the fridge. We eat slowly, talking throughout about the good things in our future that we plan on doing. We stand up to go wash the dishes, but he stops me. He raises my chin until I’m looking into his eyes.
Kissing him never gets old. His tongue tastes like heaven. The space between us is thin. I grab his chocolate hair and pull him closer as he grips the nape of my neck.
Then the ringtone of his phone starts going off and I curse into his mouth.
“It’s Elijah,” he says as he backs out of the kiss. My lips feel swollen, but I need the touch of his lips on mine. I can’t get enough of it.
“Hey, everything alright?” he asks, a little worry in his voice but not too much. I don’t hear much of the conversation.
“Okay, I’m utterly confused,” he begins as he hangs up the phone. “Elijah just phoned me, wondering where Kai is. They were supposed to meet at Piran’s Garden for their date, and he hasn’t turned up yet.”
“Oh, I’m sure he’s just running late. Maybe we should head over and see,” I say as we start grabbing our things.
We’re almost at his flat and I’m hoping he’s just running a bit late. I’m looking forward to telling Kai about our date to the Eden Project. Teddy has an arm over me as we walk. We’re suddenly very touchy-feely with each other, almost as if when we let go, the other will disappear forever.
We said I love you to each other last night. I’m not over it. I know we were drunk, but I do love him. I can’t wait to tell Kai all about it.
As we walk into the apartment complex, I see a white car pull out. Through the windscreen, I see two figures look directly at me.
That’s when I notice it.
Their masks.
That same mask I’ve been seeing since Mum died. The passenger pretends to slit his throat with a knife, and I just stand there frozen.
That’s when I realise.
“Fuck!” I shout, sprinting up the stairs. An all encompassing dread fills my skull.
The door is left ajar, the window on the right of the door is smashed into a million diamond pieces. I open the door wider.
“Kai?” I shout with a little bit of a wobble in my voice.
I notice the rusty number seven is sitting on the floor in front of the window.
Someone had obviously thrown it at the window to break it.
I turn on the living room light but it flickers on and off as it hangs from the ceiling.
A cable must have come loose or something.
In the flicker of light, I see Kai sitting on the floor of the kitchen in silent tears, hugging a small canvas.
“Are you okay?” I ask, kneeling before him. He hugs the canvas tighter.
“They destroyed all my paintings,” he cries while I look for anything to say. What do I say in this situation? They’ve completely trashed the place. What did they want?
“They… they knew,” Kai stutters, sobs escaping him now.
“Knew what Kai?” Teddy asks, pacing around the room. He looks at the table that’s been flipped over.
“They… they asked about Ben. They knew I was with him before he… before he went away,” he says before scrunching up his face in pain. Teddy looks at him in horror as Kai starts breathing through his teeth. I take the canvas from him and that’s when I see it. His shirt is red.
There’s so much red.
Blood is spilling out of his abdomen. His white t-shirt is stained red. Why would someone do this? What did Kai ever do?
He’s my best friend. They did this to send a message to me. This is my fault.
“It hurts Noah. Am I going to die?” Kai asks through tears. Teddy is already phoning 999. I bend down to Kai.
“No no, don’t worry, you’ll be okay,” I tell him, not knowing if I’m trying to convince him or me.
“I tried… to get better. I tried to paint because it’s all I had left. And they’ve only gone and taken that from me,” he cries. A hopelessness resides in his eyes.
“But you can paint new ones. I know you can. I’ll buy you new stuff, eh? We can go after you get patched up,” I say, looking at him dead in the eye. But his eyes don’t meet mine. His breath is ragged, and his body is trembling.
“But what if this is it?”
“No, don’t say that, Kai,” I croak out. “I’m so sorry, I should have been here to protect you. I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean for any of this to happen,” I say as my tears spill. I wipe Kai’s tears from his cheeks as he breathes heavily.
“Is it a sign?”
My eyes widen.
“A sign for what?” I ask, looking back at Teddy. “Is the ambulance coming, Teddy?” I ask urgently.
“They’re coming as soon as they can they said,” Teddy replies, not knowing where to look.
“Maybe I shouldn’t do this. I just… can’t… anymore,” Kai says quietly.
“Kai, look at me,” I say as he finally faces me. “I know I wasn’t there for a while. I should have been here for you. I was selfish. But I’m here now. You can’t give up. You’re the strongest person I know. You’ll get through this,” I finish in a whisper.
“I just don’t want to keep… fuck. I’m just so tired. I feel cold. Isn’t that what they say happens before you die?” he asks before sobs escape him. “Oh my god, I’m going to die, aren’t I?”
“No, please don’t start feeling hopeless, okay?” I plead, but he isn’t listening. His eyes aren’t meeting mine. Suddenly, his eyes begin to close as he slumps into my arms.
“Kai! No no no, don’t you dare. Please,” I plead, trying to keep him awake. I shake his shoulder and check his breathing.
“Teddy!” I scream, and he comes running towards us.
“The ambulance should be outside now,” he says, leaning down beside us.
“He’s not awake, he’s…” I say as I sob. The tears come thick and fast as my throat closes up.
“I can’t lose him, Ted,” I cry, continuing to shake his shoulders.
“We need the fucking Ambulance now!” I shout, my heart bounces in my chest as gut-wrenching tears shake me to my core.
In the corner of my eye, I notice my bedroom door has been taken off the hinges.
There’s a word written on the wall of my bedroom.
LEAVE is written in blood again, red lines forming down the wall like tears.
The rest of the day is a blur. I felt like I was running on autopilot. We told the doctors what had happened and Kai was taken away in a stretcher. Teddy and I are sitting in the waiting room, my head’s in my hands.
“Are you okay?” Teddy asks, putting an arm around me. He plays with my hair.
“No, I’m not,” I snap, sitting up. Teddy begins to fidget while he thinks of something to say.
“It was the bronze family. They’re targeting me. That’s why the bookshop is being targeted, and now they’re hurting people I love. When is it going to stop?” I say as my eyes fill up with water.
“I don’t know, baby. I’m sorry,” Teddy says with a hint of hopelessness in his voice.
“I thought this was going to be a fresh start. Since I’ve arrived, I’ve had the past haunting me. I’m no closer to finding out the identity of the bronze family, I’ve been too busy having fun,” I cry, my heart hurting. Teddy faces me and grips my hand.
“Noah, stop. Stop beating yourself up. This isn’t your fault,” He pleads as he starts wiping my tears.
“I’m going to find every single one of them and make sure they rot in jail for the rest of their life,” I whisper, my blood boiling. I feel my face grow hot as my hands form fists on my thighs. Teddy looks at me for a moment. Then he looks away, not sure what to say.
Suddenly, there is a vibration in my pocket.