Chapter 14 #5
He’s slow at first, ensuring it feels good, and it does. I shift my legs, granting him full access to my body. I want him to take all of me.
And I mean that in every sense of the word.
He increases the tempo, rubbing over my clit and playing me at the same time. It’s almost too much. But in the same breath, not enough.
I reach around and commence stroking his cock.
There’s something carnal in us pleasuring the other at the same time.
“Oh, fuck, you’re going to make me come,” he pants, his shaft hot and heavy in my hand.
His response spurs me on to move faster.
I never thought I’d be able to be with a man this way, not after what happened. But now, I want more.
Gently untangling myself from Kit’s warm body, I turn to face him.
His room is dark, lit only by a thin sliver of light through the curtain. However, it gives the illusion that no one exists outside this room. It’s only us, and I’m okay with that fact. This happens often, where it feels as if the world disappears.
Losing myself to Kit shows how far I’ve come, and I only see myself growing. Kit is good for me. I finally found someone who accepts me for me, flaws and all. God knows I have a lot of them.
But here he is, promising to stick by my side and protect me like no one ever has before. And because of this, I draw his lips to mine and kiss him with passion and love because at this moment I realize that I do.
I love him.
And I think he feels the same way about me.
I’ve never felt this way about anyone, so I’m unsure what’s right or wrong—but I know it feels good. It doesn’t make me feel ashamed or guilty. It makes me want to be a good person, for Kit and for me.
This kiss feels different. Like something has changed.
Kit reaches for the hem of my T-shirt and slips it over my head. Instantly, we reach for the other, desperate to close the distance between us. We can’t get enough of each other. The urgency makes us both crave the other more.
He rolls me onto my back, devouring my mouth before working his way down my neck. He kisses over my collarbones and between my breasts. He takes one breast into his mouth, sucking and licking, setting my entire body on fire.
I squirm under his touch, never feeling more alive.
Our bodies fit together seamlessly.
I move.
He moves.
He kisses across my stomach, circling his tongue in my belly button. I arch my back, wanting more.
And more he gives me when he lowers his mouth to my sex.
He gently pushes my leg out, granting him deeper access. He licks and suckles my heated flesh, using his tongue in ways that should be illegal.
I am helpless at this moment.
I am helpless to Kit Rivers.
Kit places one of my legs around his tapered waist, opening me up to him like a flower in bloom. The intensity of his mouth and tongue has me digging my heel into his back, needing an anchor.
He is relentless, never giving me a reprieve. I’m straddling the line between pleasure and pain. His stubble grazes me in just the right way. His breath is warm. I quiver, squeezing my eyes shut.
“I can’t get enough of your taste. I can’t get enough of you.”
His words, coupled with his actions, have me placing my hands on his cheeks and lifting his face as I confess, “I want you…all of you.”
I don’t know if this is the right way to phrase it, but I need him to know that I’m okay with this. And more.
“Are you sure?” His voice is heavy with desire.
“Yes. I want you. Now, and always.”
He moves up my body, planting kisses along the way.
He opens a drawer on the bedside dresser and rummages around. “Fuck,” he says after a few moments.
My heart drops. “Did I do something wrong?”
“No, no,” he quickly assures me. “I thought I might have a condom in here, but I don’t.”
It’s reassuring to me that he doesn’t keep them on hand. I thought with his reputation, that he would, and that’s the reason I say, “It’s okay. I still want to, though.”
He doesn’t say a word.
Sensing his hesitation, I press my lips to his. “It’s your body, your touch, I want to remember. Not theirs. I want you to be the only memory I have.”
Kit exhales deeply. “If I do anything that makes you uneasy or if you want me to stop, please let me know.”
I nod quickly, nerves soon rising.
But I quash them down because I want this. I appreciate Kit’s words and kindness. It reassures me that I’m making the right choice.
He brushes the hair from my cheeks tenderly. Although I can’t see him, I can feel the love radiating from him.
It wraps me in a warm embrace.
I don’t know what to do with my arms and legs because when it comes to lovemaking, I’m a virgin. My virginity was stolen, but this still feels like my first time.
Kit positions himself between my legs and places my arms over his shoulders so I’m holding him tight. He kisses my lips, gently coaxing me to open my legs a little wider.
Suddenly, horrible memories assault me, and my entire body freezes.
Kit reads my response right away. “It’s just you and me. I promise I’ll always be there for you. You won’t be alone. Never again. We can stop. There’s no rush. We have…forever.”
His promise touches me in ways I never imagined, which is why I bow my hips, encouraging him to enter me.
We both hiss.
He sinks into me slowly, allowing me to adjust to his size and the sensation of being united. Inch by inch, he enters me. It hurts, but it hurts so good.
We remain motionless, each of us cherishing this completely perfect moment. It’s one I’ll never forget. I’ll remember his smell. The weight of his body against mine. His heart beating frantically against my chest.
Above all, I’ll remember feeling safe.
“Can I move?” he asks, his breath warm against my cheeks.
“Yes.”
This is the moment that’ll change everything because when he rocks into me slowly, I know there’s no turning back. This feeling of completeness has me letting go and growing lax, allowing Kit to lead.
He is slow at first, but begins to pick up the pace.
In no way do I feel dominated by being beneath him. I feel empowered. I’m the one in control, as he’s gauging my response to him and doing everything he can to please me and ensure I feel safe.
Nothing is too much.
If anything, I want more.
I bow my hips again, and he sinks into me deeper.
When he groans, I mimic his movements, meeting him thrust for thrust. The tempo soon gets faster.
I like it.
He wraps my leg around his waist, using my hips to encourage me to bounce on his cock. I feel every inch of his hard cock as he fucks me harder. The pressure begins to build.
I run my fingers through the soft hair on his chest. I love the way he feels—in every way there is.
He doesn’t quit and fucks me long and hard, pulling out before slamming back into me. This isn’t gentle, but each stroke is passion-filled, and a hunger ravages us both. The way he moves is savage but reveals just how much he wants me.
“You okay?” he pants, never quitting.
“Yes, more,” I manage to push out between labored breaths.
And more he gives as he sinks into me over and over without reprieve and reaches down to play with my clit.
I release everything and focus on the present. The memories of the woods fade into the background, and although they’ll always be with me, they won’t rule me like they once did. I have new memories to take their place.
His strokes are rough, so hard I move up the bed from the force. But his hands never leave my body. He bends down and suckles my nipple while playing with my clit.
It’s too much.
“You feel incredible,” he whispers into my ear. “But now, Cupcake, I want you to come.”
I moan, his words and actions setting me off.
He senses I’m close and fucks me hard and fast because it’s what I want.
I feel desired.
I feel loved.
My body spasms around his dick, and I see stars. I come with a loud cry, undulating under his body as my orgasm tackles me. I am powerless to it.
I feel alive.
Kit continues to move, and the moment I come down from my high, he pulls out and spills his seed over my stomach with a primal groan.
We’re both sticky and spent, and I wouldn’t have it any other way.
He pulls out and tenderly wipes me clean with my discarded towel from the shower. He tosses the towel aside, only to draw me into his chest.
We’re breathless, both needing a moment to process what just happened because that was everything.
“Are you okay?” he asks, his voice one with the darkness.
“Thank you,” I reply, my voice wavering.
“Thank you?” he questions. “I should be the one thanking you.”
I can’t keep the smile from my face. “No.” I turn serious. “Thank you for making me feel safe.”
He’s silent.
I wonder if he’s fallen asleep.
A few minutes later, he drowsily replies, “Always. You’re my girl.”
With that promise between us, I close my eyes and fall asleep in the arms of the man who has changed so much.