Chapter 17 #3
“Fine!” he confesses, defeated. “Rebecca chose you. She wanted to teach you a lesson for what happened in the diner. She said you were white trash, that people like you were beneath us, and that you needed to be put in your place!
“We were only supposed to scare you. But when Arthur was on the phone with her, she changed her mind and told us to show you what happens when you think you’re better than us.”
Jupiter gasps behind me. Hearing the truth from the person who committed the crime is different from hearing it from a victim. It makes the villain so much worse.
The heavy weight pressing on my chest is gone, and I can finally breathe again.
“And the other girls? Confess what you did to them.”
Jack sobs, shuddering and howling like a baby. “Yes, I drugged and raped those sluts! They deserved it! So did you! People like you contaminate this town! You are nothing! Now, untie me.”
I tsk him, crouching low and getting into his face. “And this was going so well.”
I playfully smack his cheek before raising the knife, and just as I’m about to thrust it into his chest, the door bursts open.
Spinning around, I don’t quite understand what I’m seeing because two police officers are flanking a woman in civilian clothing, but she appears to also be police by the gun in her holster. And behind them are Kit and Dandy.
I look at Jupiter, who is just as lost as I am.
The woman walks toward me, hands raised in peace. “It’s okay, Hallie. You can drop the knife. You’re safe.”
I don’t understand.
A rookie waves his gun, slowly walking toward me. “Weapon down!”
“Officer Renolds, stand down!” she orders.
Suddenly, the room starts spinning all over again, and a flash of light sears my vision. The knife tumbles to the floor as I blindly reach for something to grab, and that something is Kit.
“I’ve got you,” he says, gently holding me against him.
“W-what’s going on?”
“Help me! She broke in and assaulted me!” Jack screams, wriggling against his restraints.
“We know everything, Mr. Bloom. You’re under arrest.”
“For what?” he bellows.
“For drugging and raping twelve women, Hallie Holiday being one of them,” the woman says, cutting through the cable ties at his wrists and yanking him up, only to replace them with silver cuffs.
“She’s crazy! She’s talking to imaginary friends!”
I scoff because that’s ridiculous.
When I glance at Jupiter, her form flickers in and out, resembling the static of a television picture.
She begins to cry. I’ve never seen her cry before.
I can taste her tears.
I feel it all the way to my toes.
“Kit, what’s going on? I think I’m going to black out again.”
Dandy stands on the other side of me, offering me support as well. Both Rivers men are guarding me. I don’t know why.
“Jupiter?” I scream, reaching out to her, but she begins to fade in and out until suddenly…I’m staring at myself.
“I-I don’t understand.”
Dandy kisses my cheek. “It’s going to be okay, honey.”
“Stop coddling me and tell me what’s going on!” I push both men away, demanding answers.
“They’re lying to you, Hallie. Whatever they tell you, you know I’m real.” Jupiter’s voice feels like she’s an ocean away. It catches on the wind and drifts toward me.
Suddenly, a sharp pain batters at my temples. I scream violently, covering my ears. “It’s like Jupiter is inside my head!”
Kit raises his hands in surrender. “Hallie, Jupiter is in your head. It’s all been…in your head.”
I take a step back, suddenly feeling attacked. “What does that mean?”
“It means you’re fucking crazy!” Jack screams, struggling against the police who escort him out. “My lawyers are going to crucify you!”
The police drag him away, kicking and screaming.
The sight should warm the cockles of my heart, but all I can hear are Kit’s words…
“It’s all been…in your head.”
“Please tell me what’s going on. I’m not crazy.”
When Kit and Dandy stare at me speechlessly, my stomach plummets a hundred floors. “Or am I?”
Dandy steps forward, nothing but love in his eyes. He turns his wrist, showing me his tattoo. “Do you know what this is?”
“A tattoo of a planet,” I reply, unsure if this is a trick question.
“It’s Jupiter,” he says.
“Yes, I always thought it was cool Jupiter was named that. It reminded me of you.”
Dandy gently takes both my hands in his. “It’s you. You’re Jupiter.”
I don’t know what to say or think. I open and close my mouth. Dandy lets go of my hands and stands off to the side, wiping away his tears.
Kit steps forward and gently wipes away the dry blood on my face, tending to me kindly. There’s a tremble to his hands.
“Kit?” I whisper, begging him to explain.
His beautiful hair falls over his eyes as he brings my hands to his lips, kissing them. “I’ve been afraid to tell you this, but your strength made me realize I have nothing to fear. You are the most incredible woman I have ever met. I didn’t know who I was until I met you.
“You don’t give up. You’re loyal. And you love unconditionally. Your heart is so big. You make me happy. You make me safe.”
My heart hurts because his admission carries pain.
“The things that happened to you, not just that night in the woods but with your parents and your uncle, your mind couldn’t take it. It needed an escape. So…it created Jupiter.”
I blink twice, not understanding.
He speaks softly and slowly because what he reveals is life-altering.
“Jupiter… She’s a figment of your imagination.
An alter ego you created to help deal with the trauma you suffered that night in the woods.
Jupiter is the bad, while Hallie is the good.
This was the only way you could justify the things you did. ”
I stare at Kit, hearing him but not really understanding what he means.
“The blackouts, I think, are a way for you to switch to Jupiter, making you forget what you’ve done.”
“That’s not possible. You’re saying…I’m, what, talking to myself? That I have an imaginary friend? Do you know how crazy that is!” I’m suddenly angry. “I know you don’t like Jupiter, but this is just cruel. How can you say that?”
Kit’s eyes are pooled with nothing but sadness. “Hallie, the night at the hotel, you were fighting with Jupiter, right?”
I nod, angered.
He shakes his head. “When I walked out, there was no one there. Just you. You were inflicting your own injuries. You’ve been fighting against yourself this whole time.”
“Why would I do that?” I cry, unable to accept this.
“Because you needed protection. So you created Jupiter to balance the scales. You didn’t create a monster. You created a protector. You did bad things to get back what was stolen from you. But you’re good, Hallie. You were fighting against Jupiter because the good wanted to win.
“What happened fucked you up. No one can blame you for that.”
I look at Dandy, whose eyes are red with tears. And then to Jupiter, who is still a flickering black-and-white picture. Nothing but static…all in my head.
“Dandy?” I beg him to tell me this is all a bad dream.
He wipes away his tears and retrieves his phone.
He turns it around and presses play on footage of me, of me talking to someone who isn’t there.
I grab the phone and stare at the screen, watching video after video over the past five days when I remember talking to Jupiter, but was I really talking to myself the entire time?
She’s not there.
It’s just me.
I place a trembling hand over my mouth, blinking past the confusion because what I see must be a trick.
“No, this isn’t true.” Kit steps toward me, but I shrink back, tossing Dandy’s cell. I don’t want to see anymore. “Get away from me! Both of you.”
Kit swallows, torn and broken. “Tonight, it was just you and me. There was no Jupiter. It was just us.”
Now I know he’s lying.
I remember her taste and the way she felt.
“Why are you doing this?” I stagger back, sagging down the wall and crumpling to the floor.
Kit kneels before me, surrendering. “Because I love you.” He wets his lips, taking a moment. “I love you, Hallie. I think I fell in love with you the moment I bumped into you…I just didn’t know it.”
“You love me?” I whisper.
He nods, cupping my cheek in his warm palm. “I love you…so fucking much. Please, believe me. Think back to the first time you met Jupiter. Think about every single moment spent with her.”
I do as he says, and I think back to the first moment we met.
I see us.
I see her.
“He’s lying!” Jupiter shouts, rushing for me. But she’s nothing but a ghost.
“Don’t listen to her,” Kit says, his voice calm, my anchor in a withering storm. “You’re stronger than this, Hallie. Fight it. Fight her.”
I squeeze my eyes shut, and suddenly, my life flashes before me in fast-forward. I see myself lost, desperate to survive. I see the sisters. The orphanage. Ronnie. They’re all real. I can remember the smell. I can feel the air on my cheeks.
The hollowness never went away, however.
It ate at me until I was numb, an empty shell who didn’t care if she lived or died. I found the flyer for the support group for sexual assault victims when doing chores in town.
I thought it was worth a try.
And it was there I met her.
We bonded over the same things…
She told me her story.
It was so reflective of mine.
But she never went into detail about her past.
And that’s because…she doesn’t exist.