Chapter 9 Lydia
Lydia
Eleven Months Ago
Dance music beat loudly around us, sending vibrations through my chest.
“You want another Manhattan, baby?” Blake called to me as he placed another round with the bartender for him and his friends.
“Yeah, sure.” I smiled.
Blake and his friends were all dressed in their work suits, while I was standing there in leather pants, a studded leather jacket, and a beanie over my head, feeling wildly out of place in this swanky club.
His friend Anthony joined him at the bar. We had only been here for less than an hour, and he was already pretty shitfaced and annoyingly loud. His voice carried to where I was standing, a few spots away with a couple more of Blake’s friends, as he tried to chat up the bartender.
“Hey, darling, what time do you get off work?” he slurred.
“Not interested. What are you drinking?” she shot back.
“I’ll have a shot of Fireball if I can take it from between those tits.”
Blake laughed at his friend’s antics, but the look of disgust on the bartender’s face said she didn’t think it was very funny.
“I bet the view looks fantastic when you’re on your knees. You should let me take you to the bathroom so I can find out if I’m right.”
A different bartender crossed from the other side of the bar, a man this time. He tapped her on the back, and they deftly switched sides. “We got a problem over here?” he asked as he finished the orders.
“Not at all,” Blake chuckled. “Ignore him. He thinks he’s funny.”
“He’s not,” the man shot back, dropping the drinks on the counter with a hard stare. “He says something like that again and he’s out of here. You got that?”
Blake and Anthony laughed it off, taking the drinks and making their way back to us.
“Her loss,” Anthony said, adding a little too loudly. “I’m great at getting head.”
Blake held my drink out for me. Before I could take it from him, he pulled it back with a smirk. I shot him a dry look, but my grin didn’t lend it any heat. He offered it to me again, and then again pulled his arm back before I could take it, his eyes shining with amusement.
I lifted to my toes with a smile, my hands climbing over his shoulders, and touched my lips to his.
“You look super hot tonight. Not that you’re not gorgeous every night,” he whispered to me, nipping at my ear.
“Are you sure? I don’t feel like I fit in with this crowd,” I told him, looking around at the women in short, tight dresses, their makeup applied to highlight their already beautiful looks.
Blake handed me my drink, for real this time, and slipped behind me. One arm circled my waist, pulling me close to him.
“You’re different, Lydia. No doubt about that. But none of these women are as fascinating as you. In a sea of all these women, you’re the only one I see.”
My cheeks flushed, my heart pitter-pattering in my chest, even after months of being together. Blake didn’t hold back his compliments, always telling me I was beautiful and interesting. But it affected me the same every time. No one had ever made me feel so special.
“That’s because I’m blocking your view,” I laughed, making light of it.
“No. It’s because I’m in love with you.” He kissed my neck, and I turned my face so I could capture his lips on mine.
“I love you too.”
* * *
Present Day
Seb hadn’t come back from the bathroom, waylaid by yet another woman who fell for his dimpled smirk and sexy tattoos.
It didn’t matter to me whether he was here or not. As a matter of fact, I would prefer it if he wasn’t here. He was annoying and thought way too highly of himself. Although with the way women threw themselves at him, I could almost understand how his ego got to be so damn big.
But he was fun to screw with.
I saw the way his breathing changed when I had my hand on his thigh.
I could feel his pulse beating quickly beneath my lips.
Thinking about what that might mean just made my head hurt and my heart beat uncomfortably behind my ribs.
I had no interest in going down that road again, not with him or anyone else.
My gaze bounced over to the restroom again, despite telling myself that I didn’t care if he was still there or not.
He was.
And he had this trapped look in his eye that made me smile.
I could help the guy out—or I could watch him suffer.
As funny as that would be, I still found myself heading over to save him without really thinking about it.
“There you are,” I cooed.
They both looked at me, her with a confused expression and him with a completely not-sexy smirk.
Damn that dimple.
“Honey, sorry. I met Cassidy coming out of the bathroom and was just talking to her about her ferrets,” Seb said, his round eyes boring into mine.
“You’re allergic to ferrets, darling. You should know that.” I wrapped my arms around his middle, snuggling up against him. His heavy, tatted arms came around my shoulders, and I tilted my head up to meet his caramel eyes.
“That’s right. I am.” He grinned. His large hand stroked the back of my hair, tugging it just slightly.
A breath left my lungs on a puff of air, my pulse tripping over itself, beating wildly through my veins.
Desire shot straight between my legs as he trailed his gaze down my exposed neck and settled in my cleavage.
His grin was gone, and in its place was a pained look.
“Well, it was nice talking to you,” Cassidy said awkwardly. “Sorry I kept him here so long.”
I pulled my eyes away from Seb and turned back to her with a smile. “No worries. He’s a bit of a talker. Can barely shut him up most of the time.”
Seb guided me back to the table, his hand like a brand on my lower back.
“You’re scared of ferrets now? And here I thought you were supposed to be a big, strong man,” I teased.
He fisted the back of my shirt, tugging me back a half step.
“Always the brat with you,” he said, his head shaking. He pulled my chair out and tucked me back into the table. Sitting beside me again, he whispered for only me to hear. “And for the record, they sleep in her bed.”
A loud laugh burst out of me unexpectedly, and I had to cover my mouth. Seb grinned, his honey-brown eyes rimmed in gold alight with amusement.
The table was noisy and fun for another hour as we all sat around, eating, drinking, and talking.
Not being a super-social person, Wes was the first to leave.
Wyatt and Maeve left not long after that, having to pick up the girls from my dad’s house.
“What the hell are you still doing here?” Luke said to Seb, laughing. “You should have taken off an hour ago at least.”
Seb shifted in his seat uncomfortably. “Nah, I was hanging out with you fuckers for the night.”
“That’s never stopped you before. What’s up with you? I can’t remember the last time you left with a ‘new friend.’ It’s got to be going on two months. That’s not like you.”
“What the fuck? You’re making me out to be some man-whore.”
Luke raised his brow as Reid, Scarlett, and Claire all exchanged glances before genuinely breaking out in laughter.
“Dude. You haven’t left this bar alone in ten years,” Reid said.
“How the fuck would you know? You’ve only been allowed in for four years,” Seb huffed in mock annoyance. “Fuck all of you. I’m going home.”
I laughed along with the rest of them, but something about acknowledging Seb’s past hookups sat like lead in my belly. I already knew this about him, and it wasn’t like I wasn’t out there having fun and hooking up with people in the city. At least before I settled down with Blake.
Scarlett was getting tired and wanted to go home too. They were my ride home since I had hitched a ride with her and Luke to Harpoon’s, so I said my goodbyes to Reid and Claire and left with them.
“Thanks for coming out tonight, Lyds,” Luke said once we got back to the house.
“Yeah, it was a good time. I’m glad I went.” I almost hadn’t. I had been home for months now, but going out with the group still felt awkward, like I was inserting myself into their circle, even though every one of them demanded that I come out with them.
“You and Seb sure seemed to be getting along,” Scarlett said with a smile.
“They’ve known each other forever,” Luke said to Scarlett. “I’m just glad that whatever issue you guys had seems to be cleared up.”
Was it? We were getting along, mostly. Ever since he told me that our night together stayed between us, I had found it a little harder to hate him.
But then, every time he made my heart beat faster, I hated him a little more for having that kind of power over me.
Or maybe I just hated myself a little more.
“Right. Well, good night,” I said, swaying a little on my way to my room.
That third drink put me just over the edge from sober to not-sober.
I stripped off my clothes, avoiding looking at myself in the mirror.
The reminder of my na?veté was etched onto my upper thigh.
It was easy to ignore it throughout the day.
It was only when I caught myself in the mirror that I had to fight the urge to burn it off.
I lay in bed listening to the soft rain coming down in the peaceful quiet of the night.
Moans. Loud and lewd.
Thud. Thud. Thud. Thud.
The rhythmic banging left absolutely nothing to the imagination.
I found my noise-canceling headphone and connected my music app.
My fingers brushed over my text messages.
Seb’s name caught my attention, sitting toward the top of my recent conversations.
I scrolled past it to another text chain, opening it up to read the harsh words.
I validated for the millionth time that Blake was still blocked, not that I ever intended to unblock him, and backed out of our last conversation without reading any more of it.
I felt too wired to sleep. Tipsy in the best way.
If I had to survive the misery of hearing the intimate details of my brother’s sex life, then I was going to share that misery with others.
Wyatt and Maeve were taking care of their daughters.
Reid and Claire were still out for the night.
I wasn’t that close to Wes, even when we were growing up.
That only left one person for me to bitch to.
Me: If I have to listen to my brother’s loud ass grunts one more time…
Seb: Luke and I are close, but we aren’t that close. You can keep those details to yourself.
Me: I don’t want those details either!
Me: And considering I saved you from a bed full of ferrets today, I think you owe me a bitch session.
Seb: Okay. You have a point there. But I can think of a thousand other ways I can repay you for that that doesn’t include learning what my boy sounds like when he comes.
Me: It’s a lot of grunting and moaning. It’s the least sexy sound in the world.
Seb: Sounds like a rough night for you
Me: Oh, I’m not suffering alone. I will Facetime you just so you can hear this too.
Seb: Who says I would answer a Facetime from you?
Me: I’m tipsy and I’m laying in my bed with very little covering me. Are you telling me you won’t answer?
A minute passed before Seb responded. I knew what I was doing—seeking validation from anyone just to remind myself that I wasn’t the washed-up piece of trash I was told I would be without him. I wasn’t proud of myself for letting those thoughts infiltrate my mind, but they did nonetheless.
My phone vibrated in my hand, and I nervously opened it, not sure if I was hoping for that validation or a rejection.
Seb: You’re tipsy or you’re drunk?
My brow furrowed, the question catching me off-guard.
Me: Does it matter?
Seb: Yes.
Seb: I can get off to the image of you tipsy and naked guilt-free, but drunk and naked is a whole different thing.
There went my stupid heart again, and I swallowed back a mixture of insecurities and anxiety. My first thought was that I shouldn’t be talking like this. But that was his voice in my head, making me feel ashamed, even though we weren’t together anymore.
Me: Why’s that? Do you picture me as a sloppy drunk or something? Does that not do it for you?
Seb: I didn’t say I wouldn’t get off on the images of you regardless, just that I would feel guilty about it.
Me: And if I’m just tipsy?
Seb: Do you want me to tell you what I’d picture when I’m getting off to the image of you, little wild?
Curiosity ate at me, but this unfamiliar territory was screaming warning bells. I could barely stand Sebastian, with his laid-back charm, dimpled smile, and caramel eyes. The masculine scent of ink and leather that clung to him. His easy smile and broad chest.
I shook my head to clear the haze.
Me: No. You can keep those thoughts to yourself.
Seb: Then what do you want to talk about? Other than Luke’s O-face.
I laughed, and I had a feeling that was exactly was Seb was hoping for.
Me: Oh, gross. Come on. That’s my brother.
Seb: You’re the one who started this conversation.
Me: Well, I can’t hear them anymore and I’m going to sleep.
Seb: Where’s my Facetime? I was looking forward to that.
I took a picture of myself in bed, the blankets tucked all the way up to my chin, my hair draped in my face like Cousin It, and sent it to him.
Me: That’s the best you’re going to get.
Seb: I found that out eleven years ago. Hasn’t changed since.
I walked right into that one. Sebastian Devereux was a nasty flirt. I fell for it once. I wouldn’t be stupid enough to think he was earnest again. I’d made enough mistakes in my love life. Letting my heart gallop away to Seb’s superficial words would not be one of them.