12. Cataleya
My heart is still racing when Christian pulls away and when I open my eyes, I see he’s gazing at me. There’s something in his eyes, something I haven’t seen there before.
Could it be… No.
I don’t want to think of the word ‘longing.’ Mostly because that would mean admitting that I’m feeling something very much like that myself. But the longer I gaze into his eyes, the more I feel something very real rising up in me.
A kiss like that, that can’t be faked. At least, I can’t fake it. There was an urgency in it, a passion that took over me for a moment. It was intoxicating and even though I know it was all for show, there’s something in me that wants to throw myself into Christian’s arms all over again.
Then again, the cynic in me reminds me that this is all an act. A ruse. Christian’s a good actor, I’ll give him that.
I take a deep breath, trying to steady myself. But this whole time I haven’t been able to tear my eyes away from Christian. In fact, I suddenly realize, with our hands still clasped tightly, that our bodies are still just inches from each other.
“That was…” I begin.
“A good show,” he replies quickly, tearing his eyes away and letting go of my hands. “I think the paparazzi bought it.”
For a moment he pauses, as if to check if I’m buying his hasty dismissal of that very real kiss. It’s clear he doesn’t believe his own words, and I don’t either, but I let him get away with it.
“Award-winning,” I shoot back with a smile.
He seems to feel some relief and, if I’m honest, I’m a little relieved myself. The last thing I need is real feelings complicating this arrangement. But as I watch him grin back at me, a thrill courses through me like lightning. He’s as gorgeous as ever and I can still feel the warmth of his lips on mine.
“I have another surprise for you,” he tells me, breaking my train of thought. I only hope he didn’t catch me staring at his lips just now. Instead, I meet his eyes again and catch a hint of mischief in them.
“Oh, really?” I ask, intrigued. “Another publicity stunt?”
Christian shakes his head with a sly smile. “Not as much for them as for you.”
He gestures to the dock where most of the photographers have scattered now that they’ve got their money shots.
Has he planned something else for me? A surprise?
When Christian directs the yacht back to the pier, I gaze at his toned body and wonder what he has in store. I’ve never been romanced before—not only because our betrothal didn’t allow it. The best I’ve ever got is the occasional drunken idiot trying to grind on me in the club, which is something I very swiftly put a stop to.
But this… this is entirely different.
“My lady,” Christian says sweetly, when the yacht has been secured. He offers me his arm and I catch sight of his smile. It has my heart racing all over again. I have to wonder if this is what I’ve been missing out on all this time. I have to admit, it’s nice, even if it’s just for show.
I thread my hand into the crook of his elbow and our eyes lock again for a moment. This is the closest thing I’ve ever had to a boyfriend. It’s fake, I know, but the novelty of it all excites me to no end.
I’m close enough that I can smell Christian’s cologne over the green scent of the river, and as he leads me off the yacht and onto the boardwalk by the river’s edge, I can’t help but smile. He smells good—musky, like cedar wood and cinnamon.
“I thought we could take a walk along the river,” he tells me.
It hits me that I like the sound of his voice. It’s low, smooth, with an air of authority that I find a little bit sexy. Marrying royalty was the last thing I wanted to do, but if this is the side of Christian I get in return…well.
One year married to him doesn’t sound too excruciating anymore.
“That sounds lovely,” I say, cutting through all the thoughts that are crowding my head.
This seems to be the right answer, because Christian shoots me a genuine smile, warm and inviting.
I’m still dimly aware of the remaining paparazzi that follow behind, the click of their shutters breaking through the sound of birdsong and the gentle rush of the river itself. I know I’m still supposed to be acting for their sake, but it’s easier than I thought.
I still have my hand at Christian’s elbow, but the gesture seems so formal, so distant somehow. Instead, I shift my hand, letting it run the length of Christian’s forearm until my fingers are entwined in his. His skin is warm, soft, and it feels good to touch him like this.
He squeezes my hand softly, dropping his arm until our hands are swinging between us. When I look up, I see he’s gazing at our hands. He must feel me looking at him, though, because a moment later, he meets my gaze.
The look in his eyes is a softer version of what I saw after the kiss. Not longing but tenderness. Care. It’s reassuring, and I can feel my heart opening a little.
I hope he sees the message I’m silently sending him, too. Thank you.
This is not where I thought the two of us would end up, especially after my rebellion back in New York. But in spite of that, Christian is helping me fulfill my mother’s dying wish and I can only feel gratitude for that.
There’s something else as well. As we walk on in companionable silence, I feel safe. There’s an ease in Christian’s company that I would never have foreseen. Maybe it’s because I know this will make my mother happy, maybe it’s because I trust this is just an arrangement that will benefit us both, but I feel as if all my worries have vanished at this moment.
I let out a sigh, feeling the weight lift from my shoulders. Christian must hear it because he turns to me. His beautiful blue eyes seem to look right into me because I see a hint of recognition in his gaze.
“I want you to know you can always confide in me,” he says, and I can hear in his voice that he means it. “I know this is an unconventional marriage, but that doesn’t mean we should be strangers to each other. I want to be your friend.”
His words touch me, deeper than I would have thought.
“Thank you,” I manage to say, fighting the tears that threaten to well up. “I feel like I don’t deserve it. Considering all I’ve put you through.”
“That’s in the past, Cataleya. We have to start working towards the future.”
We continue walking slowly alongside each other. There’s something real here, a deep connection that seems to have sprung up suddenly in the midst of all this uncertainty. This crazy situation has bonded us in a way no one else could understand.
No one else in the world knows about our secret arrangement, which feels special in a way. It’s something only Christian and I share. Just the two of us.
“I admire you, you know,” Christian reveals suddenly.
There’s a newfound ease in our conversation, borne of this unexpected camaraderie. We continue walking and chatting for a long time, until the sky grows dark and the stars come out over Solvaria.
I’m just beginning to ask him about his duties as Crown Prince when a sudden explosion overhead stops me in my tracks.
The sky erupts into fireworks, the colored light dancing on the surface of the river.
“Do you like it?” Christian asks.
His face is lit up in a dozen different colors, each new spectacle replacing the last with even more intricate patterns.
“Of course I do!” I say, smiling wide as I stare up at the colorful night sky. “It’s wonderful, thank you.”
Taking the moment to link my arm with his, I rest my head against his shoulder as we watch the fireworks display. I don’t mean to intrude on his personal space, especially with no one around to convince of our romance, but it feels right. And he lets me.
He could easily push me away. He could put a stop to this right now, but he doesn’t. Why’s that?
“I’m glad you like it, Cataleya. Glad I could end your night with a bang,” he replies, and I can hear the grin in his voice. When I pull back, I see him beaming down at me.
There’s something in that moment, something I know, even as it’s happening, that I’ll never forget. I guess no one ever forgets their first real date. Even if my first real date is a fake one.