25. Christian
Even before I open my eyes, I feel Cataleya’s warmth beside me. Her body is pressed into mine, her breathing deep and measured. All the intensity and tenderness of last night comes back to me, and I breathe in the scent of her hair, of her skin, of our lovemaking.
But then something else hits me. I open my eyes suddenly, reminded of something else that happened last night.
She was a virgin.
My whole body tenses as I recognize the weight of that revelation. Beside me, Cataleya stirs, apparently woken by my flinching. As she stretches awake, she turns her head up to gaze at me sleepily. The warm sunlight makes her skin glow. Her eyes, still adjusting to the light of day, slowly focus on me. I notice that the flecks of gold in her hazel irises are brighter than I’ve ever realized before. But then, I’ve rarely been this close to her.
She looks more beautiful than ever, but as I peer down at her, I realize I’m not sure how I should act.
Last night was so intense, so intimate, and the reality of what that might mean to her—her first time—makes me feel suddenly guilty.
“Hey,” she says softly, her breath warm on my skin.
“Hey,” I reply, but even I can hear the guilt in my voice. “Are you… was last night okay?” I ask hesitantly.
I reach out, brushing a strand of her chestnut hair from her face. At this, Cataleya smiles, nodding ever so slightly before reaching up to place her hand on mine.
“It was perfect,” she tells me, but something still weighs heavy in my chest.
“I didn’t anticipate that you hadn’t been with anyone else,” I admit. “If I’d known…”
If I’d known, what then? Would I have stopped myself from being with her? I already know the answer to that is no. But still, I can’t help but feel I would have been more careful, more intentional somehow. More determined to make her cry out in pleasure.
Cataleya is still smiling at me, though, and she lets go of my hand to caress my chest. As if to soothe me.
“I guess I was always waiting for you,” she reveals. “I mean, even when I didn’t want to be married. Being betrothed to you, it just didn’t feel right to be with anyone else.”
This catches me by surprise. But rather than ease my guilt, it only amplifies it.
I let out a heavy sigh, placing my hand over hers. I know that I need to be truthful with her.
“I’m sorry that I can’t say the same for myself,” I admit, ashamed. “I haven’t been so… pure.”
For a second, my words hang in the air between us, and I’m terrified this will hurt her. After finally showing her how I feel, finally being this close to her, the thought of pushing Cataleya away again is too painful to bear.
But her hand caresses my chest again, with the same care and tenderness as before.
“It’s okay,” she tells me, her hazel eyes showing a depth of understanding I can hardly believe. “We both made our choices. I don’t hold it against you.”
With this, I feel a weight lift off of me and, lacking the words to express my gratitude, I kiss her softly but deeply.
“Thank you,” I tell her when we pull away. “There’s one more thing, though.”
At this, I kiss her forehead, slide out of bed, and pull on a pair of boxers.
“Where are you going?” Cataleya giggles as I shoot her a mischievous look.
“Just taking care of the Princess,” I explain before heading to the kitchen.
I manage to find my way around easily enough, preparing a light breakfast of granola, yogurt and fresh fruit. It’s been a while since I’ve prepared food for myself, let alone someone else, and it makes me smile. I imagine it’s these little things that I’ve been missing out on by devoting myself to Solvaria, rather than seeking love the way my brothers have.
“Hey, come back to bed!” Cataleya calls from the bedroom, her voice lilting.
At this, I grin, picking up the tray with our breakfast and eagerly making my way back to the bedroom.
The moment I walk in, Cataleya’s eyes light up.
“Oh, Christian…” she mutters as I hand her the tray and get back in bed beside her.
As we begin to eat, I can’t help but steal sideways glances at Cataleya and it seems she’s doing the same. More than once we catch each other peeking, and both break out into self-conscious grins. I feel like a teenager, completely smitten.
After breakfast, I clean up, and when Cataleya comes out to the kitchen in only her robe, I feel like the luckiest man on earth.
“So, how do you want to spend the day?” I ask her as I pull her toward me by her waist.
She smiles, and the warmth of her envelops me all over again.
“I thought we could go for a swim,” she suggests, running her hand up my chest and letting it rest on the nape of my neck. “What do you think?”
“I think I’ll be happy wherever you are,” I reply before kissing her gently.
The sun warms my skin as we step out onto the rooftop pool deck and the rest of the morning is spent splashing and laughing, interspersed with stolen kisses.
As we dry off on the poolside deck chairs, Cataleya turns to me, a thoughtful look in her eyes. “You know, I think I’m ready to go home.”
I reach over, entwining my fingers in hers. I’m touched that finally, after all that’s happened, Solvaria feels like home to her. Our hands remain intertwined all the way to the airport, throughout the flight, and even as we step off the plane. Just before we get into the limo, Cataleya turns to me.
“If you don’t mind, I need to go see my mom,” she says, concern evident in her voice. “Would you come with me?”
The significance of the request touches me and without hesitation, I nod.
“Of course,” I say. “I’d love to.”
Cataleya shoots me a grateful smile and we climb into the limo together, hands still clasped.
It’s late by the time we reach the hospital, the rooms hushed and dim, but we’re ushered in anyway. Mariana’s bed is surrounded by flowers. Most of them I assume came from Cataleya, and as she approaches her mother’s bedside, I’m touched by her care.
“Hi, Mom,” she says gently, placing her hand on her mother’s.
“Cataleya,” her mother says, smiling up from the hospital bed. “Oh honey, you look so beautiful.”
I hang back, allowing them their moment without interruption, but soon, Cataleya turns, ushering me over.
Mariana peers over her daughter’s shoulder, catching my eye.
“Prince Christian,” she says, smiling. Her voice is hoarse, but she’s obviously pleased to see me.
“Hello, Mariana,” I reply, bowing slightly. “It’s so good to see you again.”
The rest of our visit is filled with chatter, the two of us trying our best to answer Mariana’s questions. She’s pleased to hear that the planning for our large public wedding is well under way. Cataleya informs her of the details, which makes her eyes light up at her daughter.
“I know you’ll look after her, won’t you?” she asks me, clutching my hands.
“I wouldn’t dream of doing anything else,” I reply, and I mean it.
When we finally leave, Cataleya slides her hand into mine again.
“Thank you,” she tells me, resting her head against my shoulder as we walk to the limo. “She looks better than before. I’m glad that you came with me.”
I feel her genuine affection, and it makes my heart swell.
Everything in me wants to confess the depth of my feelings for her, to tell her unequivocally that I’m in love with her.
But something stops me. After so many false starts, I want to make sure I do it right this time. I know I need to tell her at the right moment, to make my confession as special as the bond we’re finally forming.