Chapter 23 The Wedding Night
Elizabeth stood in the bedchamber she shared with Mary, gazing at the delicate, transparent garments Mrs. Gardiner had purchased for her wedding night. Miss Ellis had laid three of them upon the bed, believing her mistress would select one for her transition out of maidenhood.
“Thank you, Ellis. Please call my sisters to me. They will help me prepare for the night. You are excused.”
When her maid had gone, Elizabeth folded the garments and tucked them carefully into her trunk. She was searching for her own night shift when Jane and Mary entered.
Elizabeth stood frustrated, her hands clenched on her hips.
Jane asked, “What is it, Lizzy?”
“I cannot find my night shift. I have no idea what Ellis did with it. I cannot find any of them.”
Jane said, “Perhaps Ellis has taken them to be laundered. Aunt purchased new ones for you. Why can you not wear one of those?”
Elizabeth reached into her trunk and drew out the first gown, holding it up for her sisters to see. They began to giggle.
Mary said, “I can see you right through that gown, Lizzy.”
Jane added, “It is hardly conducive to a night of sleep, is it?”
Elizabeth stopped giggling. “It is not funny. I am not prepared for… for intimacies, and I have no wish to dress as if in invitation.”
Jane said drolly, “Well then, sister, you have no choice but to borrow one of Mary’s night shifts. They button up to just under the chin, the sleeves are long, and the hem reaches all the way down to your toes.”
Both sisters looked at Mary, and then all three began to laugh.
“Just so, sister. Mary, lend me one of your nightgowns. Jane, I sent Ellis away for the night. Help me with my buttons.”
She began removing her hairpins. When her hair fell loose about her shoulders, she massaged her scalp and sighed.
“Oh, that feels so good. My head aches from the weight of it. I shall ask Ellis to cut it for me now that I know how skilled she is at dressing hair.”
When she was attired for bed, her sisters stood side by side, lingering expectantly.
Elizabeth looked down at herself. “What is it? Is the gown stained?”
Jane shook her head. “No, Lizzy. You said you would tell us…you agreed to share what Aunt Gardiner taught you. What she taught you about it.”
Elizabeth bit her lip. “Yes, I did, and you are not going to let me off, are you?”
They stood silently, waiting.
“Very well then, if I must, I must. Sit here and do not look at me.”
The three sisters sat on the edge of the bed while Elizabeth shared her knowledge in fits and starts. When she had finished, they sat in stunned silence, staring at the wall.
Mary finally spoke. “Lizzy, I see now how it was easier for you to speak to Mr. Darcy about waiting than to face such activities with a man you hardly know.”
Elizabeth giggled. “Yes, I was very motivated to set things straight with him, especially after his insulting remarks about my charms, or, in his opinion, lack of them.”
Mary said, “You need not give his opinion another thought, Lizzy. You are accounted a local beauty, second only to Jane. And if we may judge by Mr. Collins’s attentions, men do find you attractive. If Mr. Darcy does not, it is not from any lack in you, but in him.”
Jane added, “Perhaps he has been jaded by all the lovelies who have hunted him through the years. He may not find a simple country maiden appealing.”
Elizabeth grimaced. “Perhaps. That is a discomfiting thought. He has told me that he will be faithful to his vows, but how am I to keep the attentions of a jaded man engaged over a lifetime of marriage?”
She stood. “At least I need not fear he will find me too tempting. Between Mary’s gown and his jaded feelings from years of pursuit, I think myself quite safe with him.”
Mary said, “If Miss Bingley’s pursuit of him is any indication of what he has suffered, Lizzy, he may welcome this marriage as a respite. Women will stop hunting him like prey, for he is no longer available, and he is safe within the marriage, for he does not find you attractive.”
Elizabeth felt a stab of pain and disappointment.
Nicholas had once found her attractive, even beautiful.
He had confessed that he looked forward to the day they would marry, when he might revel in her charms. It had been most improper of him to speak so, yet they had been childhood sweethearts and had shared every confidence as playfellows.
Hearing him speak of this as a young adult had not been offensive.
The memory of his gaze, warm with desire, lingered in her mind.
She longed to be desirable to her husband and to be beloved.
Her reality was falling far short of her dream, but she was respectably married. Her sisters had been saved from scandal, and she was not yoked for life to a man who repelled her. It was well enough.
“You are right, Mary. I have nothing to fear. I will see you both in the morning.”
Elizabeth put on Mary’s wrap, then ran to her trunk and drew out the delicate shift they had laughed over earlier. She held it out.
“Sisters, one of you must sleep with this in your bed tonight. Ellis must not know I did not wear it.”
They giggled, and Mary took it. “Very well, Lizzy. I will sleep on it, and it shall be suitably wrinkled by morning.”
Elizabeth hugged her sisters and slipped quietly into the hall.
When she reached his door, she tapped softly.
After a moment, it opened, and Mr. Darcy stood before her in an elegant silk banyan tied at the waist. She could see the linen of his nightshirt, and where it was open, the smooth line of his neck and the sculpted curve of his collar bones.
She recoiled. She had never before seen a man’s bare neck or naked chest.
He stepped aside and gestured for her to enter. She hesitated on the threshold, her throat tight, struggling to swallow. Why had she not allowed him to take her on to London? She would have been in her own chamber with him on the other side of a connecting door. But it was too late now.
She took one step, then another, and stopped. There was a fire burning in the grate, and the couch was large enough to hold her. She moved toward it and turned. He had closed the door and followed, keeping a proper distance.
“I will sleep here, sir.”
One of her hands clung to the high collar of her nightdress.
He nodded, walked to the dressing room, and returned with a pile of blankets. He handed her one, which she spread upon the couch, then another to serve as a sheet, and a third for warmth.
He went to his bed and asked, “How many pillows would you like, Mrs. Darcy?”
“I will take two.”
He brought them to her, and she placed them neatly at the head of the couch.
He gestured toward the clock. “It is half past nine, Elizabeth. Would you like to read from The Odyssey? I brought the book with me. We may continue our discussion for a few minutes, if you wish. Perhaps this may be the beginning of a tradition for us. There is no reason your studies should cease. I may not be as learned as your father, but we can learn together. I did study these texts at Cambridge and received high marks. I did not throw away my opportunities there; I was one of the few who actually studied.”
He grinned.
Her shoulders relaxed, and she smiled. “I am surprised to hear that, sir. I had believed that gentlemen of your rank did not care for studies or higher learning. You have exposed a prejudice I did not know I held. Please sit, and let us read.”
He picked up the book from the end table and handed it to her. They sat together, reading and conversing until the candles burned low.
When he slipped into his own bed and extinguished the lights, he laughed softly at himself. If his friends ever learned how he had spent his wedding night, he would be the butt of their jokes for the rest of his life.
She was a lovely girl, one he might never have chosen for himself but for the compromise and her impending fate with that lecherous cousin. That man had been unworthy of her.
It had been a good day. He felt a level of contentment that surprised him. And as he lay in the quiet darkness, Darcy resolved to nourish her mind first, for in doing so, he knew he would one day win her heart.