Chapter Thirty-Four
Kylen
I hum as I make my way to my room, smiling like I’ve never smiled before in my life. That seems to be happening a lot lately—me smiling. And that’s all because of the special girl who makes my heart soar every time we hang out.
When I told Raven I’m happy we’re friends, I really meant that I’m happy we’re growing closer to each other.
I would like us to be more than friends.
I didn’t tell her that because I didn’t want to make her uncomfortable.
Things are going great between us, but I messed up last time and I don’t want to mess up again.
I’m not going to run away from her like I did a year and a half ago.
The guys are in the room when I walk in. Beck’s on his stomach, eyes on the TV that’s playing a movie. Jasper’s got his headphones on, head bopping to the beat of the music. And Leo is on his bed, staring at the ceiling. All are dressed in pajamas.
“Where have you been?” Jasper asks. “We thought you might break curfew and we’d have to vouch for you.”
Still grinning, I drop down on my bed. “I was with Raven. We made hot chocolate and sat by the fireplace. It was…”
“Romantic?” Beck waggles his eyebrows.
“I feel so close to her. It’s like nothing happened between us, even though so much did. I don’t know if she feels the same, though.”
Beck snorts. “She’s crazy about you, too.”
“You think?”
“Yeah,” Jasper says. “Don’t you see the way she looks at you? I thought you looked like a lovesick puppy, but she’s just as bad.”
“It’s kind of adorable,” Beck adds.
I smile to myself, my stomach doing weird somersaults. “Guys, I really like her. I mean, I’ve always liked her, but I never let myself feel that way because of all the pain. But now that we’re past that, I think I’m ready.”
“To kiss her?” Beck asks.
“To be her boyfriend.”
Jasper and Beck slap my hand. “Nice!” Jasper says. “About time, really. We thought you guys would stay in the friend zone forever.”
I hold up my hand. “I’m just not sure she’s ready for that. I messed up royally last time and I don’t want to push her away again.”
Beck taps his chin as he thinks. “That’s something you’ve got to figure out because it seems like she is into you. Dude, she freakin’ wrote a love song because of you.”
“What? The new song isn’t about me. It’s about love in general.”
Jasper snorts. “Yeah, right. She wouldn’t have written a love song if she didn’t feel anything for you. Geez, man. You’re so clueless.”
My gaze moves to where Leo is still staring at the ceiling. “You okay there, Leo?” I ask.
He doesn’t respond.
“Dude’s been sitting like that for nearly an hour, since he got back from whatever he was doing,” Beck informs me.
Getting to my feet, I head to Leo and place my hand on his shoulder. “Leo?”
He blinks, returning to the real world. “What?”
“You’ve been sitting like that forever,” Jasper tells him. “What’s eating away at you?”
A tiny grin captures his mouth. “I spent the evening with Lilah, guys. It was awesome. She’s awesome.”
The guys and I cheer, clapping him on the back.
“Finally,” Beck says.
Leo scowls at him. “You and the others thought it would never happen. You told me to give up. Had I listened to you, she and I wouldn’t have hung out.”
Beck rubs the back of his head. “Guess we were wrong.”
Leo rolls his eyes. “She told me she broke up with her jerk of a boyfriend because he wasn’t emotionally there for her.
” He beams. “She also said she was interested in me for a while now, but didn’t know how to break up with her boyfriend without hurting his feelings.
Then she decided she didn’t care about his feelings anymore because he didn’t care about hers.
All those times I would look at her, she noticed.
And she liked it.” He sighs happily. “I’m in love, dudes. ”
Jasper’s jaw hangs open. “In love? Nice! So we’ve got two guys in love while the other two are still losers. But that’s okay.”
I give him a look. “You and Beck aren’t losers because you haven’t found girls yet. It’ll happen when it’s meant to happen.”
Leo lifts a brow at me. “You’re in love with Raven?”
Beck laughs. “Man, were you even present the past few days? Of course he’s in love with her. Look at how he looks at her.”
Leo shrugs like he has no idea. “Sorry. Been thinking about Lilah a lot. We plan on spending the whole day together tomorrow.” He lies down. “Life is good.”
Beck turns to me. “I’m assuming you and Raven are spending the whole day tomorrow together, too.”
“That’s the plan.”
Jasper holds out his hand to Beck for a slap. “Guess it’s you and me, bro.”
Beck slaps it. “Until you meet a girl and abandon me.”
“You’re going to meet a girl first.”
“No, I won’t.”
“Yes, you will.”
They go at it for a few minutes. I look at Leo, but he’s on a different planet.
Pulling my phone from my pocket, I check to see if I have any texts from Raven. Nothing.
Kylen: Good news! Leo and Lilah are together. She broke up with her boyfriend and Leo spent the evening with her.
Raven: I’m so glad to hear that. They both deserve to be happy.
Kylen: Yeah, and now Beck and Jas are arguing who will get a girlfriend next. They’re driving me insane.
Raven: Lol. I’d offer for you to come to my room because it’s peaceful and quiet, but I don’t want us to get in trouble.
Kylen: I’d totally come over. Should I indeed put on a dress and pretend to be one of your friends?
Raven: So tempting, but I don’t think you can pull it off.
Kylen: Let me guess, my-pretending-to-be-a-girl skills are just as bad as my British accent?
Raven: Yep.
Kylen: And apparently I make one ugly girl.
Raven: I wouldn’t say that.
Kylen: Thanks. I think? Do you
Someone pushes my hand, and I accidentally send the text before finishing my sentence.
“Sorry, man,” Beck says as he bends close to my phone. “Was checking to see who you were texting.”
I shove him away. “It’s none of your business.”
He places his hand over his heart. “Of course it is. It’s my business to make sure the two of you end up together. Remember, I told you I stopped you the last time, and I’m not going to let that happen again. She’s your soulmate, man.”
I press my phone to my chest. “I appreciate that, Beck, and I’m grateful for your help. But this conversation is private.”
He nods. “Should I ask her if she’s in love with you, too?”
“Beck, go away.”
“You got it.” He turns away, then faces me. “Just, don’t mess it up again, all right? You’ve got something good going for you. Don’t be an idiot.”
I nod. “I’ll try not to.”
“Not good enough.”
“I’ll make sure not to.”
“That’s better.” He focuses on Leo now. “Same with you, Leo. Don’t be an idiot like Ky.”
“Dude, I was fifteen. Give me a break.”
“Sure, but it was your first relationship, same as it’s Leo’s first relationship. Just warning him not to freak out like you did.”
Leo’s eyes widen. “Freak out how? You never really told us what went down with you and Raven at camp. Well, Beck knows, I guess. But Jasper and I are in the dark.”
“Yeah, sorry about that. Basically, Raven and I kissed and she told me she loved me and I ran away.” I tell them what happened after that, about the letter and everything.
Leo squints as he thinks. “So if Lilah tells me she loves me, I should kiss her? What if she’s not ready for that?”
Jasper snorts. “Believe me, she’ll be into it. I saw you when you took your winter hike. She was all over you.”
Leo grins. “Awesome.”
I glance down at my phone, totally forgetting that I’m in the middle of a conversation with Raven.
Raven: Do I what?
Kylen: Sorry, Beck pushed my hand. I forgot what I was going to say.
Raven: Lol okay.
Kylen: What are you doing now?
Raven: Looking for a movie.
Kylen: Do you want to watch something together?
Raven: Okay. Something wintery?
Kylen: Or something romantic.
When she doesn’t answer, I start to get nervous. Should I not have said that? Is she not ready to go down that path with me?
A few minutes pass before my phone beeps.
Raven: Okay. You pick.
Kylen: Me? What do I know about romance movies?
Raven: Just pick one.
Kylen: Okay.
Since Beck is hogging the TV, I get comfortable on my bed with my laptop. I browse through the many movie options until I find one that looks so sappy it might be exactly what we need.
When I text Raven the title, she responds with.
Raven: That’s got to be the worst movie ever made.
Kylen: Which is why we’re going to watch it. And then we’ll make fun of it.
Raven: That’s cruel.
Kylen: Maybe, but it’ll be fun. You in?
Raven: Okay. Let’s start.
I think I fall asleep halfway through the movie because I find myself on my bed with my laptop on my stomach and my phone near my ear. It’s open to the text app with Raven and she sent a few messages making fun of the movie.
Raven: Kylen?
Kylen: Sorry, I fell asleep.
Raven: I dozed off, too. I guess we should probably go to bed.
Kylen: Sorry I ruined movie night.
Raven: It’s okay. Have a good night and I’ll see you tomorrow.
Kylen: Good night, Raven. And I’m sending you a hug.
Raven: Hugging you back.
I picture myself hugging her for real, loving the way she feels in my arms, and not wanting to let go. Ever.