Chapter Thirty-Six
Raven
It seems the student body of Harrington Bay Academy isn’t much of a fan of ice skating. The rink is nearly empty. That makes me happy because the last thing I want is the place to be so crowded that there’s barely enough room to skate. Some students have chosen hockey skates over ice skates.
Addie and Caleb have joined us as well. After we get our skates, we sit down on the benches to put them on.
Caleb seems nervous about it because he’s never been skating before and he knows he’ll fall down on his butt many times, but he’s happy to partake in this activity with Addie.
She promises she’ll hold his hand every step of the way and help him up when he falls.
After they get into the rink, Kylen smiles at me. “Their relationship is so sweet.”
“Have you noticed he’s a little overprotective of her?” I ask as I tie my skates.
“Hmm...yeah, I guess so. He always looks like he’s watching his back, too.”
“That’s because he was hired to be her bodyguard. It’s a long story, but her life was in danger and he was hired to protect her.”
His jaw falls open. “Seriously?”
“Yep.”
“That’s wild. And they fell in love?”
“Yeah. And now Caleb is living a normal life.”
Kylen whistles. “My life is so boring compared to that.”
I laugh. “Your life is anything but boring. I think their life is just a bit too exciting.”
“Maybe you’re right. Okay, my skates are on. Get ready to see me fall flat on my face. Many, many times.”
“Don’t worry. I’ll be right at your side.”
“Thanks.”
Before we step onto the ice, I offer to take his hand.
He tells me he wants to see how he’ll do first. Maybe by some miracle he’ll fly across the rink like he’s been doing it his whole life.
But as soon as both of his feet are on the ice, he loses his balance and crashes down, gliding a few inches away from me.
I skate over to him and hold out my hand. “Are you okay?”
“That was definitely not my finest moment.” At that second, Caleb’s skates scratch across the ice as he tumbles down as well. “It’s not his finest moment, either.”
“At least you’re in good company,” I say as Kylen slides his hand into mine and I pull him to his feet. He once again loses his balance, but I steady him.
“Thanks,” he says. “I think for my own safety, I should hold onto your hand.”
“Good idea.”
Tightening my grip on his hand, I lead him along the rink. He’s very unsteady at first, but his legs eventually get used to the skates and he does a much better job. This is only his second or third time on the ice, but he’s a quick learner.
“Much better,” I say with an encouraging smile.
“Thanks. There’s nothing to it, really. Just a lot of concentration and determination—” He loses his balance again and crashes down, taking me with him.
“Are you okay?” He quickly sits up and puts his hands on my cheeks. Even though he’s wearing gloves, the area burns. “Sorry. I really thought I had it down.”
“I’m okay, thanks. You?”
“My butt is a little sore, honestly.”
I burst out laughing.
He shrugs. “Just keeping it real. I fell on it twice.”
“Your poor butt.”
“I know, right?”
We get up and continue gliding across the ice. Kylen doesn’t give up, and it’s not long before he’s really getting the hang of it. He doesn’t fall down again.
“Nice!” I tell him. “Awesome job.”
“Why thank you, my sweet Juliet. One must never lose hope.”
Unfortunately, the same can’t be said for Caleb. He doesn’t seem to find the right balance and crashes one too many times. Addie feels bad and offers for them to leave the rink and do something else. But of course Caleb refuses because he wants Addie to continue enjoying herself.
They decide to skate for another fifteen minutes before calling it quits. I wrap my arms around her and say, “I’ll see you back at the lodge?”
“Yep. Have fun with Kylen. And remember, don’t be scared to make the first move.”
She skates away before I can say anything.
Kylen holds out his hand to me again with a smile. “Ready?”
Now that Kylen is more stable on his skates, we’re not afraid to try some tricks. We cross our arms and spin around on the ice, faster and faster until we grow too dizzy. Kylen tries to lift me, but we both lose our balance and almost tumble down.
“Perhaps we shouldn’t try that,” I say with a laugh.
“Yeah, perhaps not.”
“Break time?” I ask. “I saw some snacks at the vending machine.”
“Let’s see if they have ketchup potato chips,” he says as he skates ahead of me to reach the exit. Once he’s through, he makes his way to the machine, which is very difficult to do on skates. Luckily, the machine isn’t so far.
“Monsters,” he says when I join him.
“What? No ketchup potato chips?”
“Nope. I guess they know what’s good and what’s not.”
I playfully slap his arm.
I end up choosing honey barbecue potato chips. Kylen and I sit down on a bench and munch on our snacks. He has pretzels filled with peanut butter.
“Too bad we’re leaving tomorrow afternoon,” I say with a frown. “I’m going to miss this place.”
“Yeah. It feels kind of magical, doesn’t it?”
I nod, knowing exactly what he means. Spending all this time together has brought us even closer, like we’ve fallen into a fairytale. Will it all disappear when we get back to school? What if the magic will be gone?
“What are you thinking?” he asks as he searches my eyes.
I shake my head. “Nothing. Want to continue skating?”
There’s a couple on the rink that isn’t from our school. I think they’re a professional pair because of how they’re dancing together. Ice dancing is a sport that is more dancing than jumps or twirls, like pair figure skating. The way the two of them are so graceful on the ice is very beautiful.
“Check them out,” I tell Kylen. “Aren’t they so majestic?”
He watches them for a short while before smiling. “They’re awesome.” Lowering his voice and leaning closer, he whispers, “They look like they’re in love, don’t they?”
I narrow my eyes as I study them. “I don’t know. It might just be part of the routine.”
“Really? That’s disappointing.”
I take his hands in mine and skate backwards. His jaw falls open as he gapes at my skates. “How are you doing that?” He tries to do the same, but he loses his balance and nearly smacks into the ice. I manage to hold him in place. “Never mind. I’m good.”
Still with our hands interlocked, we skate side by side, loving the feeling of sliding across the ice. I feel just as free as I did with the snowtubing. Maybe this whole trip has been liberating for me.
“You seem to be buried in your thoughts again,” he says.
“I’m just realizing how much of myself I was holding back. I’ve opened up a lot in the last few days and feel like a huge burden has been lifted off my heart.”
“I have noticed that you’re happier now,” he admits in a soft tone. “When I first came to Harrington, you were…”
“What?”
He shakes his head.
“You can tell me. I promise I won’t be offended.”
“You just seemed like you carried around a lot of pain.”
I slow down my skating as I stare at the spot before me. “I was carrying around a lot of pain.”
He closes his eyes for a second. “Because of me?”
I hesitate.
“It’s okay. You can tell me. I kind of deserve it.”
“No, you don’t. It was just a misunderstanding.
I wish things hadn’t turned out the way they did, but they did and we can’t change that.
I used to hold onto the past so strongly and refused to let go, but I’ve let go now.
It doesn’t matter what we went through. All that matters is what we experience right now in the present. ”
He slows down completely, and my hand gets yanked back because they’re still attached. Sliding over to me, he wraps an arm around my middle and gently pulls me to his chest. “I know I’ve apologized many times, but it still kills me that I hurt you. I really hate myself for that.”
I shake my head. “Don’t hate yourself. I hurt you, too. There’s no point tearing yourself up over it. Like I said, we can’t change the past.”
He slowly lifts his hand and caresses my cheek with the backs of his fingers.
I feel the heat of his skin through the gloves, and it sends shivers down my spine.
“Thanks for being so understanding. Thanks for being so forgiving. You’re right that I can’t change the past, but it might take some time before I completely forgive myself. ”
“I wish you would,” I whisper. “I don’t want you to be upset with yourself.”
He nods slowly. “I’ll try. Because I don’t want to carry around any negative emotion. Being with you makes me feel good. It makes me the happiest person on the planet. I don’t want anything to ruin that.”
“Me, either.”
His eyes dip to my lips before lifting back to my eyes. “Raven?”
“Yeah?” I breathe, my gaze dropping to his lips.
“I know we said we just want to be friends, but…”
“Yeah?” I whisper.
“I—” His body sways and then he crashes down to the ice, bringing me down with him. “Darn it. My butt again.”
My body has landed on top of his, with my face mere inches from his. I stare into his beautiful green eyes, getting lost in them. There are so many emotions shining inside them. Joy and hope and happiness and forgiveness. I don’t see any of the pain he had when he first came to Harrington.
My eyes drop to his lips again. His lips that look so inviting and enticing.
I’ve been obsessing the last few nights over what it would feel like to kiss him again, wondering if it’d be better than the last time.
Knowing that it would, and yearning for the chance to experience it again.
My friends’ words spin around in my head.
I don’t have to wait for him to make the first move. I should go after what I want.
“I don’t want to be only friends, either,” I say as I wrap my fingers around his chin and press my lips to his.
His arms come around me as he heaves me closer to his body.
We’re kind of at an odd angle because of how we’re on the ice, but neither of us seems to care.
Our lips move over each other’s urgently, as though we both have been dreaming and yearning to experience this once again.
Bursts of heat pop out all over my body, and the area where his hands rest on my waist burns even more.
There’s so much we’re telling each other in this kiss.
How much we forgive each other, how much we mean to each other, how we never want to hurt each other ever again.
There are so many regrets, so much unnecessary pain, but the two of us have gotten stronger from this ordeal.
We know what it’s like to love and to lose, and we know that we never want to go through the “losing” part ever again.
I don’t know how much time passes, but our lips haven’t slowed down.
It’s as though we’re trying to make up for the lost year and a half.
Kylen has definitely improved since the last time we kissed, and the feelings he evokes in me are ten times what they were back then.
It’s because we understand just how much we mean to each other now.
When our lips finally break apart, Kylen rests his forehead on mine. “Wow,” he breathes.
“Sorry if I was too forward,” I say. “I was wondering what it would be like to kiss you again.”
“You weren’t too forward. I wanted to kiss you for a long time,” he admits as he pulls back and looks deeply into my eyes, his face so close to mine that I feel his lips on mine as he speaks. “But I wasn’t sure if you were ready. I didn’t want to hurt you.”
“Thanks for being so considerate and understanding. Maybe I wasn’t ready before, but I was definitely ready now.”
“I’m glad,” he murmurs as his hand rubs soft circles on my back that sends goosebumps all over me. “But can I ask what the verdict is?”
“The verdict?”
“Am I just as good of a kisser as I was back then?”
“Do you want the honest truth?”
“The honest,” he says.
“You were like a fairytale come to life back then.”
He’s quiet, his brows furrowed like he’s not sure where I’m going with this.
“But that was a fairytale back then,” I continue. “Right now? It’s a dream come true.”
His smile is so bright that it blinds me. He pulls me even closer to his body and closes his mouth over mine. This kiss is slower and sweeter, but it still holds the longing the other kiss had.
We once again get lost in our own kissing bubble, but then Kylen’s phone beeps, breaking the spell. With a groan, he pulls it out of his pocket and scans the screen. “They found it,” he gasps.
“What?” I ask.
“I texted my grandparents this morning and asked if they could find the paper where I wrote down where my mother’s parents carved their initials into the tree. Here are the coordinates.” He shows me his phone. “I wonder if they didn’t chop down the tree and it’s still there.”
“Do you want to check it out? There’s still enough daylight.”
He gives me a sweet, heart-melting smile as he gets up and holds out his hand for me. “I can’t think of anyone else I would want to do this with.”