Chapter Twelve
Carly
Raven and I are hanging out in her room after dance practice on Tuesday.
Sophie is still tutoring and Addie and Caleb went out on a date.
Technically, I should be doing homework, but I’m so not in the mood.
I’m on such a high from another successful practice and all I want to do is continue to dance until my feet fall off.
Still dressed in my gym clothes and a little sweaty, I stand in the center of Raven and Sophie’s room and do the routine, making sure I have it down perfectly so I can teach the hardest parts to my teammates tomorrow.
We need to be ready for the game on Friday.
But if the moves are too difficult, we might just scrap that part.
Friday’s game will be our debut and we want to wow everyone.
It seems Raven isn’t working on her homework, either.
She’s writing lyrics. She’s so private about her songs and hasn’t shared them with me or the others.
She’s promised us she will one day, but I always tell her it’s okay.
As curious as I am, and as supportive as I want to be, she’s entitled to her privacy.
One time, Sophie accidentally saw some of her lyrics, and they were a love song about a guy Raven met at camp after freshman year. She refuses to admit it, but we all know she’s still secretly in love with him.
“So practice is going well?” she asks as she puts down her pen and focuses on me.
“Yep,” I say as I continue doing the routine.
“The team knows the first half of the dance perfectly. The only question is whether or not I should incorporate some of the harder moves into the routine for Friday’s performance.
A lot of the team’s parents will be there to cheer us on, and we don’t want to make total fools of ourselves. Plus, the whole school will be there.”
“Hey, it’ll be okay,” she says in a reassuring tone. “Of course you’re super nervous, but you’re like the best choreographer in the world. From what I’ve seen so far, the routine is fire.”
“Thanks.” I walk over to the kitchenette and grab a bottle of water. “Want a drink?” I ask her.
“Yeah, thanks.”
After grabbing another bottle for her, I plop down near her on the bed and hand it to her. Then I chug half of it down. “Ah.” I wipe my mouth. “I didn’t realize how thirsty I was.”
“Be careful not to overwork yourself,” she says. “You don’t want to get hurt.”
“I know.” I lean my head against the wall and press my lips to the mouth of the bottle.
“I can’t stop imagining what it’ll be like to get out there and perform in front of everyone.
I’ve been dreaming about this moment since Addie gave me the idea to put together a dance team.
But now I can’t stop picturing myself showing up to the game in my gym clothes instead of my uniform. ”
That makes Raven laugh. “I seriously doubt that will happen.”
“And then I picture myself messing up the routine. That causes the rest of the team to mess up, too, and we become the laughingstock of the school. Everyone on the team is so mortified that they quit on me, and then it’s just Addie and me alone.
Well, maybe Ryder would stick around. Yeah, I can totally see him refusing to give up. ”
Her brows shoot up, nearly disappearing in her blonde hair. “First of all, none of that is going to happen. And second, did you say Ryder wouldn’t bail on you?”
“He’s been acting…odd lately.”
“Odd how?”
“He’s nice for some reason.”
She chuckles. “Your face is hilarious!”
“What’s my face?”
“It’s like a mix of confusion and suspicion, and some disgust, but you also look happy and relieved. And maybe like you’re wondering what it would be like to kiss him.”
My eyes flash to her and they get so wide I swear they might roll off my face. “I so do not think about wanting to kiss him!”
“Are you lying to yourself?”
“Are you lying to yourself about Camp Lover Boy?”
Her mouth snaps shut and the laugh vanishes from her face. “There’s no Camp Lover Boy. Sophie totally made that up.”
“Lies, Raven.”
“The person I end up with needs to be worthy of me. So if there was a guy at camp—which there wasn’t—he’s not worthy of my awesomeness.”
I laugh, even though I don’t believe her. “Standards, right?”
“Duh. So back to Ryder…”
“Ugh.”
“What’s up with the two of you?” she asks. “I thought you hated him, and now all of a sudden he’s being nice to you?”
I puff out my cheeks, causing some strands of my hair to fly off my forehead.
“Things were simpler when he had his life and I had mine. Now his life is intertwined with my life and everything is going haywire.” I take another sip of my drink.
“First he called the fact that I wanted to make a dance team corny, then he showed up for tryouts. I thought he was there to ruin everything, but then I got the shock of my life when he showed me what a good dancer he is. He taught himself, without any lessons. I didn’t know he knew how to dance. ”
Her eyebrows dip lower as she thinks about it. “Why would he hide that from you? If he’s as good as you claim, he must have been teaching himself for years. And he purposely omitted that detail from you?”
“Well…I mean, it’s not like he and I hung out or anything lately.
Once we entered middle school, I stopped tagging along with my brother and begging him to play with me.
That’s when Ryder and I stopped seeing each other regularly.
Of course we saw each other here and there, especially because he hung out at my house like all the time.
But I was old enough to understand that I wasn’t wanted. ”
“Hmm…” Raven says as she rubs her chin.
“What?”
“I just don’t get why he would keep his dancing from you. Unless he was embarrassed.”
“Why would he be embarrassed?”
“Because you’re super talented? Maybe he thought he wasn’t good enough for you.”
I throw my hands up. “I don’t know why you guys think he gives a darn about me.
I was always the annoying little sister of his best friend, the girl who tagged along wherever they went and whined when they didn’t do what I wanted to do.
And if they yelled at me or told me to get lost, I cried to my mom, who told them to be nice and include me in their games. That’s how he’ll always see me.”
“Yet, he’s on your dance team,” she points out.
I puff out my cheeks again. Ryder’s actions really make no sense. I’m the person he never wanted around, and all of a sudden he’s being nice to me and basically saved my dance team? Is he trying to make up for all the time he ticked me off? It’s not like he ever apologized to me.
“Look, I’m sure his reasons have nothing to do with me,” I say as I get up and walk to the center of the room.
“We all like to think the world revolves around us, but most of the time, people are just dealing with their own problems. Ryder is my teammate and nothing else. He’s a great dancer who will hopefully help us win competitions. That’s all.”
Raven nods, but I can see in her eyes that she highly doubts that. And the truth is, a large part of me feels the same.