Chapter Thirty-Eight
Sophie
I’ve been a nervous wreck and couldn’t sleep at night.
After I came back from Damian’s apartment, I slid under the covers and tried to disappear from the world.
I didn’t talk to Raven or any of my friends.
I just couldn’t stop worrying about Damian and what will happen to him.
I sent him a few texts, but he hasn’t responded.
I’m guessing his mom took his phone away.
It really hurts that she kicked me out of the apartment. Like I was some low-life criminal. What did I do wrong? Liking her son? Doesn’t she see what a wonderful person he is? A person who deserves all the good things in the world. Not someone who needs to be controlled all the time.
It’s early and I’m surprised to get a message on the school app.
It’s the secretary asking me to go to the principal’s office immediately.
I don’t have to be a genius to figure out what she wants from me.
And she’s probably asking me to come early so no one will be around and overhear.
I don’t get it. What’s wrong if Damian and I date?
Does she have a problem with him dating at all or am I the problem?
Raven is still asleep, so I’m careful not to wake her as I get ready and leave the dorm room. It’s so cold out, but it’s not the weather that has me shivering and hugging myself. There’s a gloomy atmosphere, one probably only I feel.
Some kids stroll about, a few going for a morning jog. No one sees the worry and pain swirling around inside me. I can’t stop thinking about Damian and what he must be feeling right now.
How can I know if he’s okay?
I reach the building and make my way to Principal Harrington’s office. The secretary gives me a smile as she instructs me to go ahead inside. I take a few deep breaths before knocking on the door.
“You may come in,” Harrington says.
Opening the door a crack, I peek in, “You wanted to see me?”
Her lips press together as she interlocks her fingers. It feels like years pass, but it’s only seconds before she says, “Please take a seat.”
With shaky legs, I lower myself in the chair in front of her desk.
I give her the best smile I can muster, but she doesn’t return it.
Actually, she looks pretty ticked off at me.
The principal never looked at me like that before.
I can’t help but shift in my place. I stare at the floor as I wring my fingers in my lap.
“Sophie, stay away from my son.”
I slowly raise my head. “But why?”
“Because I said so. I don’t want you to tutor him. I don’t want you to talk to him. I don’t want you to be in the same vicinity as him. And you certainly cannot date him.”
“Why can’t I date him?”
She gives me a look that can wake the dead and kill them again. “You know what’s on the line if you defy me.”
I nod, my heart pounding all over my body. “My scholarship.”
“Attending this school is a privilege. It’d be a shame for you to miss out because you’re allowing your hormones to cloud your judgment. Stay away from Damian. Is that clear?”
She’s treating me like I really am a criminal. But what have I done wrong?
“We share classes together…” I stammer. “I can’t just not be around him.”
“Of course you’re allowed to go to class with him, but you’re forbidden to talk to him. If I hear you’re defying my instructions, I won’t hesitate to kick you out of my school.”
Tears burn my eyes, but I don’t let them fall. I won’t give her the satisfaction.
“Do we understand each other?” she asks.
I nod, looking anywhere but at her. I knew people with money are powerful, but I never felt the negative side of their power until this moment.
“Good.” She leans back and gives me a wide, fake smile. “I’m glad we see eye-to-eye on this. I’ll have to assign you a new pupil.”
The thought of no longer spending time with Damian, of not studying together, of everything, makes this large hole appear in my stomach. A black hole, sucking everything in, especially the good things.
“Is it okay if I take a break from tutoring for a little while?” I ask her. “I want some time to focus on myself.”
She dips her head. “Whatever you need, Sophie, just as long as you obey my wishes.”
“Okay.”
“You can return to your dorm and get ready for class.”
I turn to go, but face her. “Is…is Damian okay?”
As she looks up from her computer, I can see the anger in her eyes. “He’s not your concern.”
“I’m just asking as his tutor and fellow classmate.”
“Like I said, he’s not your concern.”
I nod slowly, trying to come up with something to say to help Damian, but I don’t think there’s anything I can do. Principal Harrington owns this school and the people in it. Whatever she says goes, and there’s no fighting it.
As I walk back to my dorm, I can’t help but still worry about him. Maybe once I see him at school and conclude he’s okay, I’ll feel a whole lot better. But then what? I’m not allowed to talk to him. How am I going to survive if I can’t talk to him?
“Damian,” I whisper, hoping for some crazy reason that the wind will send him my message. “Please be okay. I know you’re worrying about me, but I’m fine. We’ll see each other again. I know we will. Just be strong.”
Raven’s brushing her hair when I return to our room. She twists around in her chair before her vanity and says, “Where have you been?”
Dropping down on my bed, I hug a pillow to my chest. “Can you text Addie and Carly to come here? I need to talk to you guys.” We have some time before breakfast
“Sure.” She grabs her phone. No more than a few minutes pass before our other friends enter and sit down on my and Raven’s beds.
Addie glances at us. “What’s the emergency?”
Raven gestures to me. Carly narrows her eyes in confusion. “Everything okay, Soph?”
I shake my head, squeezing the pillow tighter to my chest.
All three of them gather around me on my bed, shaking me to and fro as they try to get comfortable.
Addie places her hand on my shoulder. “Sophie, you’re scaring us. What happened?”
Staring at the space before me and talking in a monotone, I say, “Principal Harrington caught Damian and me kissing in his room yesterday and she pretty much kicked me out. Then just a few minutes ago, she threatened me to stay away from him or she’ll revoke my scholarship.”
“What?” they gasp.
“Why would she ban you from seeing him?” Raven asks.
I shrug. “I guess I’m not rich enough for her.”
“Who cares about money? You guys love each other, don’t you?” Carly says.
“Well, we didn’t declare our love for each other, but I’m crazy about him and I’m so worried he’s hurt or upset or something.” I bury my face in my pillow.
Addie rubs my back. “So you guys broke up?”
“I don’t know. He’s not answering his phone, so I assume she confiscated it.” I glance from one to the other. “I can’t bear to cut him out of my life, but his mom threatened to throw me out of the school. What do I do, guys?”
They’re quiet as they ponder it. “I think you need to talk to Damian about it,” Raven says.
I nod slowly. “If we can, but what am I supposed to tell him? That we’re done? After everything he confided in me, I’m just going to toss him away? I can’t do that. I care about him so much.”
“But if you defy his mom, you’ll get kicked out,” Carly reminds me.
I bury my face in the pillow again. “She thinks she has a hold over me because of the scholarship. Like I’m at her mercy.”
“Looks like you have to make a choice,” Addie says. “Damian or HBA.”
“You have to ask yourself: is it worth giving up your scholarship for a guy?” Raven adds. “Only you can answer that question.”
I’m quiet as I mull over it. Of course I choose Damian.
School is school and Damian is Damian. He’s a person.
He has such a huge heart and so much love to give.
“It’s not even a question,” I tell them.
“I can get accepted to any school and any college after that. HBA is an easy path to my future, but it’s not the only path.
Schools will come and go, but there’s only one Damian. And I won’t abandon him.”
My friends nod, seeming relieved and happy with my choice.
I stand up. “I’m going to fight for him. Fight for us. No one and nothing can tell me who I can or can’t date.” I sit down. “I mean, assuming he feels the same way. What if he wants to toss me away?”
Addie’s arms come around me. “He’d never do such a thing. He’ll fight for you, too.”
I want to believe her, but Harrington has such a hold over him. She’s the only family he has. “I need to talk to him,” I say.
Raven glances at her phone. “Almost time for breakfast. I think we should finish getting ready and find your man.”
We head for the dining hall, weaving through the other students as we search for him.
But I don’t find him anywhere. My friends convince me to eat something because I won’t survive the day on an empty stomach.
I try to get some food down as I continue to look around, hoping to find him. But he doesn’t show.
The same happens in the school hallway. Kids are milling about and chatting, but there’s no sign of Damian. I’m about to give up, but then I spot him walking down the hallway, his backpack slung over his shoulder, his tie loose, and the two top buttons of his shirt undone.
His head is lowered like he wants to hide from everyone, the same way I wanted to hide last night. Seeing him makes my heart soar, but it also crushes me. Because he looks so broken, like he’s given up.
Leaping forward, I grab hold of his arm and shove him into the janitor’s closet. Damian glances around like he’s trying to figure out where he is and what’s going on.
But when he sees it’s me, his body comes to life. “Sophie.” His arms wrap around me and he buries his face in my hair.
Then he pulls back to look into my eyes. “Are you okay?”
“I’m fine. Are you?”
He nods. “Did she hurt you?”
“No. You?”
He shakes his head.
“But she called me to her office this morning.” I spend a few minutes telling her everything she said to me.
He lifts his hand and lightly punches the wall. “She threatened to kick you out if you dared talk to me?” Sighing heavily, he plops down on the floor. “I’m so sorry for all of this, Sophie. Really, I am.”
I join him on the floor, sliding my hand into his. “I’m not sorry. And I won’t be threatened, not by your mom or anyone else.”
He searches my eyes. “What are you saying?”
“I’m done letting other people tell me what to do. If I want to be with you, then I’ll be with you. And I really want to be with you, Damian. Not being able to talk to you is like I’m losing a limb. It’s just not possible to exist.”
His hand lifts to stroke my cheek. “I feel the same way. But what about your scholarship? What if you get kicked out?”
I shrug. “There are other schools. HBA might be a good school, but it’s not the only one.”
He shakes his head. “No. I won’t let you jeopardize your future because of me.”
“But I want to.”
“No, Sophie. Please.”
I sit on his lap and turn around to face him.
“Damian, listen to me. All my life it was school, school, school. And my books. But being with you has taught me that there’s more to life.
Yes, school is important, but so are other things.
Like you. You’re the most important person in my life, and I won’t lose you. I can’t lose you.”
He presses his forehead to mine. “I can’t lose you, either.” He pulls back to look at me. “But what can we do? My mom will kick you out the second she sees us talking. And I don’t want that for you. I’ll never forgive myself.”
My eyebrows furrow as I think. “There may be a way this could work.”
“What?”
“We’ll sneak behind your mom’s back. That way I can still attend HBA and we can see each other.”
He’s quiet as he thinks. “Can’t she catch us?”
“We’ll have to be super careful. We’ll need to meet secretly and make sure no one is watching us. It’ll be very hard, but it’s possible. If we both want it, we can do it.”
He closes his arms around me. “I want it. I want it more than anything, but I’m worried about you. I don’t want anything to happen to you.”
“I’ll be okay,” I whisper in his ear.
He searches my eyes again. “Are you sure you want to do this?”
“I do. Do you?”
“Yes. I’m just so worried about you.”
I place my hands on either side of his face and kiss him. “We can do it. Because there’s no way in heck I’m not being with you. Besides, it’ll be fun.”
“Fun sneaking around?”
“Yeah.”
He laughs. “You always know how to make things brighter. One of the many, many things I love about you. So…we’re really doing this, huh?”
“We’re really doing this.”
We sneak in several kisses because we know it’ll be a long time before we’ll be able to be together again. Then we remain with our arms wrapped around each other until the bell rings. I give him one more kiss before leaving the closet. He’ll wait a few minutes before emerging.
Then we’ll go to class and pretend the other doesn’t exist. It hurts my heart, but I know we’ll see each other again soon.