Chapter 36
CHAPTER THIRTY-SIX
A Hole song was playing when I sent the models out to close the show for the big finale. Leather and lingerie and towering lace-up boots. Noelle wore a veiled headpiece and Gigi had beaded horns on her head. Playful, irreverent, and a little bit subversive.
“Cleo, there you are. I wasn’t sure where to go…”
I spun to face Devin. “Where’s Gabriel?” I craned my neck, looking over his shoulder, wishing and hoping that Gabriel would magically appear but the look on Devin’s face told me he wouldn’t.
“He’s…we need to go to the hospital,” Devin said, looking around at all the people backstage. “Sorry about this but we need to go now.”
I was already grabbing my coat and bag before he’d even finished speaking. “Simone?—”
“Go.” She shooed me away. “I’ll take care of everything.”
I rushed out the door with Devin, belatedly calling out a thank you over my shoulder.
When we got outside, I didn’t see any taxis so I sprinted up the block to the cross-street and flagged one down.
I climbed into the back seat and slid over to make room for Devin. When he told the driver to take us to NYU Langone, I closed my eyes and took some deep breaths.
Keep it together, Cleo.
This was no time to fall apart. I needed information.
“What happened?” I asked Devin as the taxi cut through Central Park.
“Gabriel was in the recording booth. He wasn’t happy with his vocals on the last track and he wanted to do it again.
But his voice wasn’t open, you know. It sounded strained.
So he said he just needed some air. I could tell something wasn’t right.
He was sweating and he looked really pale and shaky so me and Eddie went outside for a cigarette break just to check on him.
As soon as we walked out the door, we saw him collapse.
Next thing I know, he’s on the ground having a massive seizure. ”
A massive seizure? I white-knuckled the door handle as images of Gabriel having a seizure on a New York City sidewalk raced through my head.
I was barely breathing.
Devin ran his hand down his face. He looked as if he was trying to hold back his tears, so I reached for his hand and gave it a little squeeze. “It’s okay.”
He cleared his throat and nodded but he was visibly shaken by the ordeal. “Luckily, Eddie knew what to do to keep Gabriel from hurting himself. But all these people were crowding around, just gawking.”
“What a bunch of assholes,” I said.
“Yeah. We know how much Gabriel guards his privacy so before they wheeled him into the ambulance, we asked the paramedics to cover his face with a sheet while all these assholes were taking photos. They already knew who it was.”
The fucking paparazzi. Someone must have tipped them off.
But this was no time to worry about any of that. “How long ago did this happen?”
Devin shook his head. “I don’t remember what time it was.
Hours ago. We didn’t know what was going on or how bad it was, and we knew you had your show today, so we waited until we got some word.
After they ran tests, the doctor, or maybe it was a nurse, I don’t know, came out to the waiting room and said that Gabriel asked to see you right away.
We knew he wouldn’t have asked if it wasn’t serious, so I came and got you. ”
If Gabriel asked for me, he had to have been conscious, so I blocked out the words “seizure” and “bad” and “serious” and shoved my worries aside for now.
“Are you okay?” I asked Devin.
“Yeah, I’m fine. I’m sorry about your fashion show.”
Devin didn’t look fine, but I couldn’t blame him. It would have been traumatic to witness something like that.
“Gabriel is more important than a stupid fashion show. Everything is going to be okay. Gabriel will be fine.”
I don’t know if I was reassuring him or myself, but I had to believe it was true. Nothing bad could happen to Gabriel.
He was going to live to be one hundred and one. At least.
I suspected that the seizure was somehow linked to his headaches and now I was kicking myself for not insisting that he see a specialist.
My gaze drifted to the window. Rain lashed against the glass and the city had never looked so gray and gloomy as it did today.
It was Fashion Week and we were gridlocked in Midtown traffic. This taxi was barely moving.
I vented my frustration on the driver and smacked my hand against the partition. “Can’t you go any faster?” I yelled. My voice sounded so shrill I barely recognized it. “This is an emergency?—”
“Do you see a siren on my roof?” the taxi driver yelled back. “You don’t like sitting in traffic, lady, get out and walk.”
I debated for all of two seconds before making my decision. It didn’t look as if this traffic was going anywhere. I could walk faster.
“What floor is he on?” I asked Devin.
“Ninth.”
“I’ll see you at the hospital.” I shoved the door open, darted through the traffic and ran ten blocks in my five-inch-heeled ankle boots.
By the time I stepped off the elevator onto the ninth floor, I was dripping wet and panting like a dog. I hurried down the hall to the nurses’ station and leaned my forearms on the counter, trying to catch my breath.
“Excuse me,” I said, snagging a nurse’s attention. “I’m looking for?—”
“Cleo.” I turned and Eddie pulled me into a hug. “Thank fuck you’re here. He’s been waiting for you.”
“Is he…” I wasn’t sure what I wanted to know.
“He’s being his usual pain in the ass,” Eddie grumbled, but I could tell he didn’t mean it. He loved Gabriel. We all did. “He’s writing like a maniac and gave me a list of chores.” He escorted me to Gabriel’s room then turned on his heel. “I’ll see you later. I have to make some calls.”
I had no idea what to expect so I took a deep breath and let it out then turned the handle and stepped inside Gabriel’s room. He was scribbling on a notepad while a team of doctors studied a chart at the foot of his bed.
Gabriel lifted his head and smiled just as if he was sitting on the living room couch and not hooked up to tubes in a hospital bed. “Here she is. The girl I’ve been waiting for. This is Cleo. My fiancée,” he told the doctors.
I looked from Gabriel to the doctors. “What’s wrong? What’s happening?”
One of the doctors, the one I assumed was in charge, stepped forward. He looked older than the others, with gray peppered through his black hair.
The doctor conferred with Gabriel who nodded, giving his permission to tell me what was happening. He gestured for me to sit so I took a seat on the chair next to Gabriel’s bed. I had a feeling I’d need to be sitting for this but Gabriel was still writing as if none of this affected him.
“I’m Dr. Lee, the chief of neurology. This is a teaching hospital and Gabriel has given his permission to be observed,” Dr. Lee explained.
“I’m a head case, baby,” Gabriel joked.
I couldn’t believe he was joking at a time like this. I couldn’t even laugh. If I did, I’d break down and cry.
Dr. Lee told me that Gabriel had a near-fatal aneurysm. The CT scan showed that he suffered from a condition called arteriovenous malformation thought to be congenital.
I shook my head. “I’m sorry. What does that mean?”
“It means that he has an abnormal tangle of blood vessels in the brain, which is causing a hemorrhage. As we explained to Gabriel, we’ll need to perform a left temporal lobectomy.
” I stared at him blankly. “We’ll need to remove a portion of his left temporal lobe.
” He went on to say that until they performed the surgery, there was no way of knowing how much of it would need to be removed.
I tucked my hands under my thighs to stop them from shaking. None of this sounded like good news.
“What…” I swallowed past the lump in my throat. “What does that part of the brain…what…I mean, what does it affect?” I released a breath. “Sorry, I don’t know anything about the brain.”
Dr. Lee gave me a kind smile. “It plays a crucial role in language, memory, emotions, and sensory processing,” he informed me, going on to say that he’d discussed everything with Gabriel but would be happy to answer any of my questions.
This was a lot to take in and I had a million questions, but I wasn’t ready to hear the answers, so I didn’t ask what the potential dangers were or how much this surgery would affect the crucial roles assigned to that part of the brain.
If the doctor didn’t spell out the worst case scenario, I wouldn’t be able to obsess over it.
“When will the surgery be?”
“As soon as possible. If Gabriel chooses to have the surgery, we need to be prepared to operate within two hours.”
“Two hours?” I looked at Gabriel whose head was bent over a looseleaf notebook while his pen moved across the page. Why was he acting like this was no big deal? I focused on the doctor again. “And if he doesn’t?”
“This is a life-saving surgery,” Dr. Lee said, making it clear that the surgery wasn’t optional. “It’s the only way to remove the aneurysm. We have one of the best neurological teams in the country so I can assure you that Gabriel will have the finest care.”
“I’m going to need those two hours, Doc,” Gabriel said. “I have a lot to take care of before you dissect my brain.”
“Very well. We’ll need you to sign some consent forms but we’ll give you some privacy to discuss this.”
When the team of doctors left, I blinked back my tears before turning to face Gabriel and forced a smile. “I love you.”
“I love you more.” He patted the bed. “Get up here.”
“I’m all wet. God, I’m such a mess.”
“Never. You’re beautiful. Now get in this fucking bed. I have some things I need to tell you.”
After I took off my coat, I tried to fix my hair and swiped under my eyes in case my eyeliner was smudged and my mascara was running but this was no time to worry about any of that, so I climbed onto the bed and lay on my side facing him.
Gabriel slid his arm beneath me and pulled me closer to his side. I curled my body around his, placed my hand over his heart and said a silent prayer.
Please, God, don’t take this man away from me.