CHAPTER FIFTEEN
Nova
TWENTY-THREE DAYS LEFT
I stepped off two blocks from the spa and pulled my cap over my braids.
Above, the glassways’ UV ceiling mirrored the movement of the clouds in the sky, but something about the day felt slightly duller, even with the sun glaring down.
I quickly swallowed two nervxs, praying that if I flared I wouldn’t feel it.
Yesterday, I’d tried to go back to the Crestview Freedom System Lab with questions.
I hadn’t said too much to the nurses. I’d reread the NDAs and knew I could only speak to my transference doctor, but Dr Janus had no available appointments for the rest of the year and couldn’t be contacted directly.
I left a vague message at the lab’s intake desk and crossed my fingers he’d reach out.
I wasn’t sure what I’d say if he did, though.
If I was being real with myself, I needed the Pain Carrier payments – false positive or not. I hated that.
It didn’t help that I had no one to talk to either.
Estelle had gone off-grid – something she’d previously told me she did by choice, but which I now knew she did out of necessity.
She was in the middle of a multi-day hellflare, the pain confining her to her pillows and cool sheets.
Still, she’d sent her little cousin by with a few outfits to keep me from walking around in sweats.
I’d learned the hard way that long layers helped when sun exposure triggered a flare.
I rocked her linen cargos and new crocheted cover-up.
The lightweight yarn was the same shade as the helical disease inside me.
Even in pain, Estelle still managed to show up for me.
I hadn’t told her about Cas, but after this – no matter how it went – I would.
I needed her, and that meant no more putting off conversations.
I walked down Mercé Boulevard, passing white brick-front boutiques with cute awnings and pops of color around their window displays.
If I wanted to, I could walk into a place just as fancy as Knitted and Knotted and take advantage of their Pain Carrier discount.
If I wanted. It was a weird feeling, especially knowing I could feel my hellflares.
For me, it felt like the advertisements shouted, For carrying our hell in your veins, here’s forty per cent off the clearance rack.
I stopped short of Spa Hebe. Braided hyssop and ivy framed the door, and instead of a window display, a water feature trickled over a bronze mosaic of the spa’s namesake – the Greek goddess of youth. I tucked myself beneath the shade of a neighboring awning as a sleek coupe pulled up to the valet.
My breath hitched. Cas jumped out, his grin effortless and too freaking adorable.
He wore designer jeans, a crisp white button-up, and a snapback that kept his waves from falling into his eyes.
He tossed the valet his keys and glanced up and down the street, fidgeting as he tried to find the perfect pose to look hot while waiting.
It was cute – we were both anxious.
I’m going on a date with Castor Fox.
This was it. I exhaled, gathered my nerves and emerged from my hiding place. ‘Looking for someone?’
His eyes legit twinkled. ‘You made it!’ He pulled me into a hug and – stars – he smelled good, like citrus and a salty breeze. ‘I can’t believe you didn’t let me pick you up. I checked the route – it took you three buses to get here. From now on, I’m your chauffeur. Deal?’
I smiled. ‘Deal.’
‘Good. Now, before we go inside, I have to do this the right way this time.’ He pulled me aside for privacy, then stepped back and did a little spin. ‘Notice anything?’
Short of admiring him, I wasn’t sure what he wanted me to see.
‘OK, to be fair, hellflares aren’t a twenty-four-seven thing.’ He shifted his solisWatch, flashing the inside of his right wrist. ‘I don’t have helical disease any more. I gave it away. A match came through two weeks ago, after my interview.’
My heart skipped and I couldn’t speak. I didn’t know what stole my breath more – the fact that he was now a Pain Giver, or the timing. The smallest part of me had found comfort in thinking we’d be going through this pain together, even if I couldn’t tell him the truth.
‘I wanted to tell you in person, so you could see me – face to face,’ he said quietly.
‘Only my family knows. And then Pua and Jaiden, because they wouldn’t let me surf.
I know there’s a stigma around Pain Givers being entitled, but the pain, Nova.
The medication I was taking.’ He swallowed.
‘Grandfather took me to see what his future could’ve been.
What mine could’ve been … I – I was afraid of the addiction.
I felt so close to it – the way I craved my next shot of hydromorphone.
I know you never answered when I asked about your feelings on Pain Givers –’
I held up my hand. ‘You don’t have to explain not wanting to become an addict.’
I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t jealous of how easy it had been for him.
Pain Givers could snap their fingers and change their lives.
But the way he stared at me now, with worry etched into his eyes, told me it was more complicated than that.
Opioid addiction was real. Everyone in Alta Bay knew it.
The Dominion treatment centers were everywhere – except neighborhoods like Crestview, where only Pain Givers lived.
Cas had entered the Freedom System for the exact reason it was created: he needed a lifeline to survive his pain.
I thought back to the question I’d avoided.
We’d been talking about Skye. If there were a Freedom System for sickle cell, I wouldn’t hesitate to sign her up.
It was why I chose science as my major over art.
‘You had an opportunity to put your health first, and you took it.’ I’d do the same for Skye if it was possible. I’d find a way to afford it. ‘I can’t even imagine if you’d had a hellflare while surfing.’
‘Well …’
My jaw dropped. ‘Tell me you didn’t get in the ocean with helical disease.’
‘Eh.’ He gently pulled me inside the spa. ‘I may have almost drowned, but today is about drowning you in relaxation and aromatherapy. I’ll tell you the story, though. Especially before you meet Jaiden. He’ll brag about how he swooped in to save me. Which he and Pua absolutely did.’
I squeezed his hand. It was my turn to be truthful with him, but my nerves arrested me.
Protests around the Freedom System had increased, with mayoral candidate Brenson Moorehouse gaining traction.
He wasn’t outright condemning Dominion for using the lower classes, but his supporters were, and the whispers and stigmas around being a Pain Carrier clung to me.
Because I was desperate for the payments.
So desperate I’d hide my false positive.
I didn’t want Cas to see me that way. He probably wouldn’t, but the chance, however small, scared me.
‘Welcome to Spa Hebe, where we elevate your relaxation to the skies. I’m Mariah, and I’ll be assisting you.’ The brown-skinned woman behind the counter greeted us, her white uniform polo embroidered with a gold chalice draped in ivy. ‘Mr Fox, I have you down for an appointment for two.’
‘Thanks. This is Nova. We’d like the Goddess Glow package.’ He waggled his brows at me. ‘Facial, manicure, pedicure, and the class for making your own body butter.’
I smiled, my earlier hesitation unraveling. The body butter class sounded amazing. I liked how Cas listened – I’d literally just complained yesterday about Leo using the last of mine.
‘We love a man comfortable with a good mani-pedi.’ Mariah tapped a few options on her holoscreen. ‘I must let you know our Prometheus pool has finished renovations and is now open. It’s heated and has a spectacular view of the Heraldess Mountains.’
‘That’s the rooftop pool, right?’ said Cas.
‘Rooftop?’ I interrupted. ‘Outdoor?’
‘Yes,’ she confirmed. ‘We offer a specialized SPF with max protection and nourishment if you need it. Your skin will love being under the open sky. I can reserve it for the two of you. And Mr Fox, if you’re worried about a hellflare, the glassways have you cov–’
‘I’ll be fine,’ he cut in, adjusting his solisWatch to cover his Pain Giver scar.
My heart sank. I wouldn’t be. There was no way I could hide a hellflare in a pool.
With the sun beaming, I’d flare regardless of the UV ceiling.
I’d researched the spa before coming – everyone in the photos wore long robes, sipping water flavoured with dehydrated grapefruit slices.
I’d expected a facial, a manicure, a pedicure. Not a pool.
‘I don’t have a swimsuit,’ I blurted.
‘Oh. Right.’ Cas’s shoulders dropped. ‘Maybe next time, then.’
‘No, no, no – no stressing allowed at Spa Hebe. Twirl for me, Ms Nova.’ Mariah gestured.
I hesitated, then spun once, awkwardly.
‘Size medium, with a high-waist halter combo. I’ll meet you in the changing area upstairs.’ She walked off before I could protest.
‘But –’
‘Nope.’ Cas cut me off. ‘No stress, she said. The spa has a swimwear store next door – she’ll grab you something.
I have a spare pair of trunks in my family’s lockers.
’ He paused. ‘Or is it too much again? Like when I tried to take you to N-A-C-L before you set me straight on what casual actually means?’
I opened my mouth, then closed it. Down the hall were signs for massage therapy, the sea salt chamber, a tearoom and sauna – not to mention the salon and meditation gardens further along.
Cas had held back significantly, booking the simplest package at a luxury spa.
He’d done his best to meet me in the middle.
‘No.’ I tried to play off my nerves. If I didn’t have helical disease, I’d love this. I needed a pedicure. More than that, I needed to stop worrying about how he’d react and enjoy our date already. ‘I said something chill. I’m learning what that means to you.’